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Not many people would suspect it, but Jiang Cheng loved playing games. It was the perfect hobby for someone as introverted as he was, and provided him with a way to relax after stressful days. Taking care of his few-years-old nephew while managing an entire company on his own was harder on him than he wanted to admit.
There was a new wuxia game which caught his eye, but it turned out to be multiplayer. He had never played games like that before, as his friendlist stayed famously blank since the end of high school. Still, he was determined to try it, tired of his usual choices and eager for something that would feel fresh and exciting.
His first week was awful. He had no idea where to go, what to do, how to progress...
Jiang Cheng was tired and frustrated. He didn't like feeling like a quitter, but it was obvious that this game wasn't for someone like him. He was ready to uninstall it tomorrow and forget about this noob account of his.
He was running around the map for the last time before clearing up the space on his disk. Suddenly, a player wearing an expensive-looking, white robe popped up right in front of him. A single message appeared in the chat window:
"Hello"
Jiang Cheng was definitely surprised. No one ever wrote to him in such a friendly manner, including his own parents. Still, he remained wary.
"Hey, what do you want?"
"Do you need any help in the game?"
Ah, so he looked so pitiful that he caught the attention of some altruistic, high-level player. Jiang Cheng had his pride and felt a bit offended.
"I don't need help. I won't be playing it anymore, anyway."
"Why do you say that?"
"And why do you care?"
After he hit enter, there was a long pause. Maybe this guy finally understood that he was wasting his time on Jiang Cheng.
"I don't have anyone to play with."
Jiang Cheng was stunned. He didn't expect such sincerity from someone who looked like he was in the top ranking. However, he didn't have time to dwell on that, as the following message showed up, shocking him even more.
"We can play together, if you are willing to continue. If not, I apologize for disturbing you."
The way he wrote was weird.... but certainly endearing. It piqued Jiang Cheng's curiosity.
"You want to play with me? Wouldn't you prefer someone on your level..."
"No need."
Well, he had time, so figured he could bear a little longer in this game, until the guy would get bored with him. He agreed to the "Hanguang-jun" offer. That's how their in-game story started.
Soon, a few weeks of playing had passed. Jiang Cheng had no idea how it happened so quickly. After Hanguang-jun explained the game mechanics to him and helped him progress, he finally understood it, and from that point on, managed to level up on his own.
After two months, they decided to switch to voice chat. His companion had a nice, deep voice and composed way of speaking. That was when he learned that the man is actually around his own age, which was a pleasant surprise. He suspected that it wasn't necessarily easy to find another gamer here in their late thirties.
That steered their converstations towards more daily life topics. They started talking about their different hobbies, families and jobs. He learned that Hanguang-jun was a homeroom teacher and his family included only his uncle and older brother. Still, not as small as Jiang Cheng's - his cute, but awfully unbearable nephew was the only person he had.
It didn't change the fact, that this deep, crushing loneliness was something these two men wholly understood.
They never exchanged their real names. Neither of them felt the need to, and Jiang Cheng knew he needed to be careful - he had Jin Ling, and couldn't afford to trust the stranger from the internet he never even saw.
One day, he was in terrible mood. After his work, he had to drive to A-Ling's school to the parent-teacher conference. He wasn't on the last few, because he wholeheartedly hated them and avoided for as long as he could. Not without the reason.
For his misfortune, Jin Ling's homeroom teacher was none else than Lan Wangji - his brother's ex, whom he despised from the very beginning. Of course, this feeling was mutual, as Lan Wangji didn't see the world outside of Wei Wuxian's ass, and that led to many clashes between them.
To his surprise, these two broke up sometime after college. He never asked for the details, not that he could − afterwards, his brother left him and ran off to God knows where, and Jiang Cheng didn't call him, as he wasn’t going to plead for his return.
He wasn’t in the mood to think about these years again. Yet as he entered the classroom and saw Lan Wangji’s stupid, stone face, he couldn't help but roll his eyes. He wondered what the man would pick on this time.
"Mister Jiang" the man's voice was dry but he still kept that polite facade "Over the past few lessons Jin Ling refused to join the rest of the children in group work. You should talk to him and convince him to do so. It is important for development of various skills."
So, it was this bullshit again. Jiang Cheng wanted to laugh in Lan Wangji's face. He wouldn’t force his nephew to work with some stupid kids if he didn’t feel like it. Besides, he remembered how the man hated group work himself, because back then it was that one thing they had in common.
"And? I won't force him into your stupid bullshit. Maybe you should tell the rest of the teachers to think of other forms of activities, that would include more withdrawn kids, not just mindlessly force them into-"
That's when he looked at Lan Wangji for the first time since he started his berating. The man's eyes were open a bit too wide and he looked quite shaken. Ha! He must be used to everyone silently agreeing to his dumb as fuck methods.
The silence stretched on.
"What's wrong? Did I say anything unreasonable-"
"Nothing. Mister Jiang is right, I will talk to other teachers. Thank you for your time." The man stood up, but he wasn't in his usual, perfectly straight stance, as he was supporting himself with one hand on the desk. He looked pale.
"...And that's all?" Jiang Cheng asked unsure. "...Are you fine?"
"Yes, I am. Goodbye, mister Jiang."
When he came back home, the anger hit him. Seriously, he had to drive all the way just to see Lan Wangji stroking out? He could spend this time playing his favourite game with Hanguang-jun!
Irritated, he logged in on the server and saw that his friend was online. Without a second thought, he instantly called him.
"Hey! How are you? I see you are doing the dungeon, need help?"
"...I am fine. I do not need help." the man sounded like usual, but the long pause before answering signaled that something was wrong.
"Oh, did something happen? You sound worried" He tried not to sound concerned himself. It's not like he cared!
"I am alright, I just had a... peculiar day at work. Was Sandu's day any better than mine?"
"It wasn't! I just wasted so much time today, just because of a damn idiot..."
"What happened?"
"I had to drive to the parent-teacher conference of my nephew today, remember? I told you yesterday. Hey, didn't you have a conference too? How did it go?"
"...........It got postponed. Please, continue."
"Well, I hate that guy who is his homeroom teacher. He is my brother's ex and he's so fucking annoying. Has a long stick up his entire ass and he's picking up on everything. I don't give a shit about his fucking rules and he can kiss my fucking ass."
"..........."
"Sorry, I know you don't like it when I swear so much. I just had to vent."
"...It's alright..."
"Yeah, let's pretend this asshole doesn't exist, tell me, where should I teleport to-"
"Is he… good looking at least?"
"What?" Jiang Cheng was surprised. Hanguang-jun weren't the type to joke often, though when he did they were rather funny. But it didn't sound like one… Suddenly, he realized something.
"...Oh, I see~" since he exposed himself so easily, Jiang Cheng had to tease him a little about it. "Are you interested? Are self-righteous fucks like that your type?"
"...Not exactly. I am merely curious what more Sandu thinks about this man."
Jiang Cheng had to ponder about it for a moment. He had never let himself have such thoughts.
"Well, if you ask... it's not like he's ugly... actually..."
"...Actually what?"
"Well, he's handsome, you know, objectively. I remember he was popular with both men and women."
"Objectively? I think Sandu does not voice his true thoughts-"
"Okay, okay, he might be hot. But it doesn't matter how big dick he might have..." after those words left his mouth, shivers ran through him. "He's a fucker and I hate him. Now, tell me where…"
He had no idea, that the man at other side was no one else than Lan Wangji himself.
Lan Wangji wasn't the biggest gamer. Lately, however he had a lot of stress and playing guqin and reading books for 30 years straight could finally bore out even someone as boring as he.
When he was searching on the internet for a new hobby (Crocheting...no. Stamp collecting... no. Gardening... no. He wasn't that old yet!) he ran across the video games. He tried many of them but it took him a long time to actually figure out his favourites.
There was that one game he enjoyed especially. It was multiplayer-focused, but he pushed through it alone. Though he suspected that playing with other people would be more fun, he had no friends to test this theory with, and he wasn't good at small talking with strangers.
One day, he was running around the outskirts of the map, doing his routine. He noticed a low-level player with not much more than a sword on his back, in a pretty dangerous aera. He decided it was time to try something new and offer his experience to that "newbie" (He googled few game-related terms and felt cool using them). They were uncertain at first, but finally agreed to play together, much to Lan Wangji’s delight. „Mission accomplished” he thought.
He assumed that his new partner would be much younger than him, mostly because of his feistiness. It turned out that they were close in age, when man's harsh but velvety voice filled his headphones for the first time.
They started spending every evening together. From just simply playing, to sharing stories from their lives and laughing (Sandu did most of the sharing and laughing, but Lan Wangji loved listening to him)
He wasn't stupid to call this love, as they didn't even know each others names. Even so, he definitely developed some kind of a crush on Sandu (a big one). He truly hoped they could meet soon in real life.
Oh, how his wish was granted.
This was the day when Jiang Wanyin would finally show up on the parent-teacher meeting. He hadn’t seen the man in a long time and certainly didn’t miss him.
When Jiang Wanyin walked into the classroom, he said nothing but gave him a curt nod. Lan Wangji wasted no time and started recalling what other teachers told him. When he finally heard the man's angry voice disrespecting him, he felt something unpleasant stir in his stomach.
It wasn’t the usual I despise being in that person's presence feeling. The longer he listened, the list of his symptoms kept growing.
His voice was like Sandu's.
His choice of words was like Sandu's.
...and he thought of Jin Ling.
Jin Ling was like Sandu's nephew.
He felt how his knees went weak.
He didn't even remember how he asked Jiang Wanyin to leave. In the darkness of his bedroom, he was conflicted like never before.
He hated Jiang Wanyin. In theory. Now, it is not like every time the man crossed his thoughts he had to print his picture and throw darts at it. Maybe in the past. But now, in the present, more accurate was… disliked. Disliked his character, because his looks... were good. He was handsome − no, pretty. He had sharp eyes and full lips, his bangs framing haughty face in elegant way.
And he liked Sandu. Liked very much.
It was a bit weird that Jiang Wanyin and Sandu were one person. But was it something that changed how Lan Wangji felt about Sandu?
No.
The problem appeared when he first talked to the man after the conference.
...he can kiss my fucking ass
He wished... but Sand-Jiang Wanyin's tone and harsh words didn't leave him much place for optimism.
Is he… good-looking at least?
That was a risky question. He knew it was unusual for him to care about other people’s appearance. But he had to know, if he was at least in Jiang Wanyin's type. His heart was racing in his chest while he was waiting for the final verdict.
Okay, okay he might be hot...
Lan Wangji might or might not have danced a little victory dance.
He's a fucker and I hate him
He might have stopped dancing.
The days were passing as usual. Lan Wangji did not say anything as he had no idea what he could say. Nor did he have any plan, so he kept playing into the role of Hanguang-jun, silently hoping that something would move on it's own. Yet when it did, he wasn't sure if he did not regret it.
"Listen… we play together for so many months…" he heard him begin, sounding hesitant. "I thought that maybe… you want to meet this Saturday for a cup of coffee? O-or tea, yeah, you prefer the tea…"
That offer made Lan Wangji blood run cold. He couldn't even imagine Jiang Wanyin's reaction if he saw who came to the meeting. Would he scream at him? Punch him? Beat him to a pulp? Curse at him? Never play with him again? Everything at once? Lan Wangji didn't want to lose this friendship, even if it would never turn into anything more.
"I would love to, but I am busy. I am sorry."
"Oh, then what about someday after work? Thursday is fine for me, but you can choose..."
"...I am afraid I can't meet on workdays either, I am truly sorry."
"..."
"Sandu?"
"Why are you bullshitting me? You said you want to meet, but now you use some shitty excuses and you are not even trying to come up with a good lie… If you don't wanna meet anymore then just say it, I am not forcing you-"
Oh no, he enraged him. It was going in a bad direction. He was left with no choice.
"Actually, I can meet, you are right. I am just... stressed that Sandu won't like me."
"Why wouldn't I? I like you for months already."
That line made Lan Wangji’s heart skips a beat.
"It's different here. I am afraid Sandu won't enjoy… my person."
"You mean you are afraid I will find you ugly? Your looks don't matter to me... seriously. I am also a bit scared… but I do want to meet you… "
He couldn't escape now. His death date was set up on this Saturday. What surprised him, was that Jiang Wanyin invited him to his own house.
He came prepared, with a chocolate box of the brand he knew that man enjoyed. He also brought something for Jin Ling. But he couldn't bring himself to knock on the door, his palms sweaty and heart pounding like never before. As he contemplated giving up and turning back, the door opened from the inside and he froze in place.
Jiang Cheng felt so stressed. Today was the day he was going to meet Hanguang-jun. It was painful for him to admit, but he had a crush on the man he never saw - how extremely stupid of him.
He was wearing his best clothes, Jin Ling was busy in his room with new toys and a promise that he would sit there quietly – even if Hanguang-jun was a homeroom teacher, he knew his nephew had difficult personality and didn't want him to ruin this evening.
Jiang Cheng was walking around the room with a beating heart. Hanguang-jun had such a handsome voice, so he must be good-looking. He wondered if he wouldn’t be too ugly next to him.
As for that voice... he had cheap headphones so the sound quality wasn’t the best, but he felt like he had heard it before…
Suddenly, he heard footsteps behind the door. He knew he should wait until the man knocked himself, to avoid looking like a creep who was waiting under the door. Unfortunately, he was an impatient man. He rushed to the door and opened it.
In front of him was... Lan Wangji? What the hell was he doing here in such an important moment!?
"Lan Wangji! What the hell are you doing here?"
"...."
"I am busy, I am waiting for a guest-"
Wait a minute...
What would Lan Wangji do in front of his door on Saturday evening?
Jiang Cheng felt like a hamster that was running in the wheel in his head ejected.
"W-wait.. wait a minute-"
Lan Wangji said nothing, just stared at him. That's when he noticed the chocolate box in his hand.
Jiang Cheng slammed the door on his face.
His mind went blank. He sat up on the couch and hide his face in his hands. He ignored the knocking and a muffled voice.
Lan Wangji and Hanguang-jun were the same person. He unknowingly developed a crush on his biggest enemy, his brother's ex who he hated for fucking years, and who despised him back. He felt like he betrayed himself, like he stabbed his own back with a knife.
"Wanyin..."
He didn't hear footsteps, but he felt a hand on his shoulder. He wanted to move away but couldn't. When he remembered what he told Hanguang-jun about Lan Wangji... no, what he told Lan Wangji about Lan Wangji...
Okay he might be hot...
No matter how big dick he might have...
He wanted to hide and hide and hide and-
"I know Wanyin is shocked but-"
"And you aren't?" Jiang Cheng finally raised his head to look at him. "...you knew." upon this realization anger rose within him. He was unwilling to admit that feelings of frustration and sadness were the ones that truly threatened to consume him.
"How long did you know?" he demanded, his eyes burning with tears.
"...since the conference."
"You knew and still… you gave me hope…" Jiang Cheng wanted to laugh at himself. Good things never cared to visit him, why would anything change now?
"Is Wanyin that unhappy with... me" Lan Wangji face was hard to read and Jiang Cheng was never good at reading other people. A single tear escaped his eye before he noticed. As he wanted to wipe it off, a cold, unfamiliar hand beat him to it. The touch was short and awkward, but lingered on his skin like frost covering the grass.
"It was never my intention to cause Wanyin such major pain. I apologize. I should better go now." He turned around and made his way to the door.
Jiang Cheng shut his eyes. But after a while, he was forced to open them, as the sound of the footsteps, instead of fading slowly into the distance, abruptly stopped.
He saw Lan Wangji's back, unmoving. His fists were clenched.
"You said you don't care how I look like" his voice was filled with such genuine dejection that it reminded Jiang Cheng of a certain line these few months ago.
I don't have anyone to play with.
"...What the hell does this even have to do with it? Don't play dumb, Lan Wangji, all of that doesn't matter anymore-"
"Why not?" he interrupted curtly.
That simple question invaded Jiang Cheng's mind and sent him spiralling.
"Because you are my brother's ex! Because you still love him, you loved him so much... Because you hate me, you hated me so much... Because I am not... I am not..."
While he was yelling, fumbling with both his words and thoughts, Lan Wangji closed the distance between them. "Bullshit" he said sternly, as he stopped half a step away from him.
Jiang Cheng couldn't bring himself to raise his head to meet his eyes. Instead, he locked his gaze on the man's chest, lips pressed tight.
"I want Wanyin to listen to me carefully. What truly doesn't matter, is the past. My feelings for Wei Wuxian are long gone." his hand moved to Jiang Cheng's, silently asking for permission to hold it. "I don't hate you either." he added softly.
"...Just like that? Then..." he muttered quietly, too anxious to let these new and unfamiliar feelings that had built up over months of shared time emerge. He didn't dare to hope for anything, he didn't dare to hope that could be enough.
"...I fell in love with you."
Upon hearing this, Jiang Cheng's breath caught for a moment. He yearned to believe in that long-awaited confession, but what held him back was the feeling as if he was fighting against the past. It was hovering over his shoulder like a ghost he couldn't shake off.
"How can you be so certain? Did you forget how terrible I am?" he asked. His nails painfully piercing through the hand that was holding his, as a reminder of how much suffering he could cause by merely keeping him close.
"Of course I remember" he deadpanned, his other hand moved to pat Jiang Cheng's hair. "But instead of focusing on Wanyin from those old, deceitful memories, I choose to trust in that one I came to know over these past few months."
Jiang Cheng finally looked at the man. Though he couldn't read anything from his features, the handsome face so unfamiliar to him, he knew this voice better than his own – he listened to it through countless bad days and sleepless nights, just a single word was enough to lift the weight from his shoulders, even if only for a moment. Yet the depth of this gentleness was something he had never heard before. It made his eyelashes fluttered, as he blinked back tears.
He had no idea what else there was to say. He only knew he wished to win, just this once - to have someone who would finally stay by his side, someone to hold him close and never leave, no matter how defective he was. And if Lan Wangji wanted to drag himself through the nasty mess he was, then he would let himself be greedy.
"You better be fucking sure, Lan Wangji. You won’t get out of this, not after I will embarrass myself."
"Mn. I want be with Wanyin." he confirmed with happier tone, his golden eyes reminded him of a puppy.
"As you wish." he said, grabbing him by the back of the neck and sealing his lips with a soft kiss.
The touch was delicate and cautious, yet sweeter than any of the chocolates he had ever tasted. Still, with no prior experience, he wasn’t sure what to do next, his confidence from just seconds before evaporated into thin air.
He was lost through his attempt at kissing Lan Wangji, yet as the man had kissed him back he finally felt found. That feeling was entirely novel to Jiang Cheng, as he navigated his whole life through darkness, but it filled him with such love that he wanted to get used to it.
After a moment, the pair of careful hands slid onto his waist, squeezing him just a bit - enough to make unused to such closeness Jiang Cheng yelp and bite into the man's lower lip.
Just as things were progressing, they suddenly heard footsteps. A small boy approached them rubbing his eyes tiredly, still unaware of the familiar guest holding his uncle in his arms.
"Jiujiu, I am hungry-" He stopped in his tracks when he noticed that there was one extra person in the room. Upon quick inspection, he recognized the tall man, who was violating his jiujiu's personal space as the teacher Lan.
"A-Ling," Jiujiu’s voice was brighter than usual, a rare hint of smile danced on his face. "say hello to our guest."
Jin Ling didn't understand what was happening, but had bad feeling about it.