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They were just over an hour into what Shane had said would be a two hour drive when Ilya noticed that the car was slowing down and starting to verge over to the right. “Everything okay?” He asked Shane.
Shane shook his head slightly and made an indistinct grunting sound before fully stopping the car on the side of the road. “Mmm,” he said then, “headache. Sun is too much.” He had his neck bent, his head resting on the steering wheel.
Ilya wished he were in the front seat where he’d actually be able to see Shane’s face but he didn’t think he was flexible enough to squirm from the back seat to the front without getting out of the car. Maybe I should have done more yoga, he thought but then he put his hand on Shane’s shoulder and felt that he was trembling slightly. Okay, he thought then. Bad, this is bad.
He got out of the car then, on the passenger side to avoid the risk of being creamed by a passing truck, but then he had to quickly grab hold of the door frame to keep from falling down a small hill into a ditch. “Fuck “ he said, doing his best to keep his voice low enough to not alarm Shane. “Fuck this. Fuck.” He transferred his grip from the door frame to the back passenger side door itself and then over to the front passenger side door frame. At that point, he was able to haul himself up into the passenger seat, where he knelt, leaning over to get a better look at Shane, who was pale with sweat beading on his forehead. Ilya touched Shane’s face and felt that it was a cold sweat. He had to wipe his hand on his shirt to get rid of the clammy feeling of it.
“Shane? What’s happening here?” Ilya asked, his voice as quiet and calm as he could manage.
“Headache,” Shane whispered, “like I said. The sun.”
The setting sun was sitting just above the road, as if they had been driving toward the molten center of it. “Okay. Okay, is this something that has been happening? Or is this new?” Ilya was perfectly willing to call 911 from the side of the road if this was a new, sudden thing for Shane.
“Been happening,” Shane mumbled, as if he were trying to avoid rattling his brain with his own voice. Ilya had been hungover enough to feel that way.
“Damn. Is this since Marleau? Since the hit?”
“Yeah. I guess.”
“Great. Do your parents know this?”
Shane nodded his head slightly against the steering wheel.
“Then give me your phone please. I do not know the way to your cottage.” Shane passed his phone over. “And what is the code?
Ilya unlocked Shane’s phone and went to the contacts, where he was quickly able to find a listing for Dad. He called that number and tried to figure out what he was going to say once someone answered.
“Hi,” a deep voice said after a few rings. “Shane?”
“I’m sorry, this is not Shane. I am his friend, and he came to pick me up at the airport so I could visit his cottage. We are on the road toward the cottage, and Shane had to pull over due to a bad headache.”
“Oh no,” Shane’s father said. “Do you know where you’re stopped?”
“I am relatively certain that we are still in Canada.” After all, Ilya hadn’t had to show his passport again.
“Okay, that’s good. Can you send me a location pin to narrow it down a little? Yuna and I will drive out to find you. I’ll drive you and Shane to his house.”
“That sounds like an excellent plan. Just a moment.”
Ilya took the phone away from his face for long enough to send the location pin.
“Okay, got it. That’s not too far so just hang tight, and we’ll be there soon.”
“Thank you very much.”
“It’s not a problem at all.” Shane’s father hung up then, and Ilya turned to face Shane as he slipped the phone into his pocket. “Okay, so your dad is going to come drive us the rest of the way. Your mom is going to bring him here, I think.”
“Noooo,” Shane moaned.
“I don’t understand why this is a problem.”
“They dunno about you. About us.” Shane was slurring his words a little, and Ilya didn’t like it at all. “I told him I was your friend. After all, we are very friendly. “
“Okay. Um. I gotta get out of the car.”Shane started to grope at the door handle, and Ilya reached over to still his hand.
“Don’t go out that way. There’s too much traffic moving very fast.”
Shane let out a controlled breath. “Right. Okay. Can you help me get out on your side?”
“Sure, no problem.” As soon as Ilya popped open his door and looked down the grassy slope, he realized that it might in fact be somewhat of a problem.”there’s a ditch over here, so you’re going to have to hold onto the car. Or me. I don’t want you to fall.”
“Yeah, that doesn’t sound fun.” Shane looked up at Ilya then, and he was even paler than he’d looked earlier, his freckles and eyelashes standing out from the surrounding skin much more than they usually did.
“Okay, I will get out of the car first.” Ilya stepped out onto the grass and kept a solid grip on the door frame where it met the door. “You can start to try to transfer yourself to the passenger seat.”
Shane moved over one leg at a time then grunted unhappily as he shifted his torso across the seats.
“Be very careful as you step out of the car. Do not forget to hold on.”
“Yessir.” Shane smirked as he replied, and at least that made him look more like himself. He stood wobbling on the grassy slope, his right hand gripped tightly to the door frame. Ilya wrapped his free hand around Shane’s left bicep. He was glad he had that grip when, a moment later, Shane swayed forward toward the ditch. He dug his fingers into Shane’s muscle, hoping he wouldn’t bruise too badly, and tightened his own abs to stabilize himself. “Whoa there.”
Shane shook free of Ilya’s grip and spider-crawled his way along the side of the car until he was able to slide down the side of the car to sit on the grass, where he hung his head between his knees and threw up violently.
“Oh, hey,” Ilya said as he made his way carefully to Shane’s side. Eventually, he was sitting on the damp grass next to Shane, rubbing his back lightly. “You want me to call an ambulance for you?
“Noooo. Please, no.”
“You sure? They’d be able to get you some good meds. Make sure nothing really bad is going on.”
”Shane shook his head slowly. “Just another headache. Been getting them for a while, went to the doctor. He said it’s just late effects of the concussion. Did an MRI and everything.”
“Those are always fun.”
“Super fun. Yeah.” Shane was now breathing slowly and carefully, no doubt to stave off further puking. Ilya wished he had some nice cold ginger ale on hand, but all he had in his bag was half a bottle of stale water that he hadn’t finished on the plane. “I have some water in my bag. You want it? As long as you don’t mind drinking after me.”
“When did that ever stop me? And yes please.”
“Okay. Sit tight, and I’ll be right back.”
Ilya kept his balance for long enough to reach into the back seat and extract the bottle from his carry-on. He removed the lid then handed the open bottle to Shane, who immediately began to take sips and spit them out.
Shane’s phone vibrated in Ilya’s pocket, and he took it out to see a message from “Dad” that said they were only a couple of miles away. Excellent.
Ilya put his hand in Shane’s soft hair. “Okay, your parents will be here soon.”
“Great.”
“I look forward to meeting them.”
“You say that but just wait until my mom starts taking g apart every bad play you made this season. Or any season. She’s a little bit obsessed with hockey.”
“So you came by that naturally.”
“I did. She got together with my dad when he was playing at the college level.”
“I see.”
A couple of minutes later. An SUV pulled up and parked behind Shane’s car. A tall man climbed out of the passenger side, stepping carefully to avoid the slope. He held out his hand, his long arm reaching across the space between him and Ilya. “Hi, I’m David Hollander. Thank you for calling me.”
“Nice to meet you. I am Shane’s friend Ilya. I had to call because he was scaring me very much.”
David nodded. “Yeah, the headaches aren’t pretty.” He looked back at his car then and made a gesture with his head. A moment later, a slim Asian woman who couldn’t have possibly been anyone other than Shane’s mother slipped carefully from the driver’s side door and hurried over to stand with them. “This is my wife, Yuna.”
Ilya nodded. “Very nice to meet you. I am Shane’s friend Ilya.”
“Ilya, yes. Rozanov?”
“That’s me.”
She shook her head “Well, this is shocking. I had no idea at all that you and my son had become friends.”
“We did. We have found ourselves as very good friends. We have much in common.”
“I’m sure. In any case, thank you for calling us. We worry about Shane.”
“I understand. From now. I will worry as well.” Ilya gestured behind himself to where Shane sat over his pool of vomit.
His parents walked over to stand behind him, and Yuna sank down to crouch at Shane’s side. “Oh, honey. This is a bad one?”
“Hey, mom. Yeah.”
“We’re going to have to make another appointment for you.”
“Yes, he should see doctor now. We should take him.”
Yuna shook her head. “I’m sure that’s not what Shane wants.”
“Nooo,” Shane added in agreement with his mother.
“You think you can stand up so we can run through the neurological tests that nurse taught me?”
Shane sighed, sounding absolutely exhausted. “d’we havta?”
“Yes. We have to.”
“Great. Love that for me.”
Shane stood up then, with a hand up from Ilya and his father’s grip on his arm to make sure he didn’t fall. Ilya leaned against the back of Shane’s boring car and watched as Yuna coached Shane through a series of simple tasks. Eventually, it seemed to be complete, and she just stood with her hands on her hips looking intently at her son.
“Does he pass test?”
She looked over at Ilya then with her sharp eyes. “Yes, I think so. I’m not a medical professional, obviously, but one of Shane’s nurses taught me what to check, and I memorized it.”
“Okay. Do you think it is safe for us to just go to the cottage this evening?”
“As far as I can tell, yes. If he gets any worse, especially if he stops making sense when he talks, I need you to call 911 and then me. In that order.
“Yes, I will do that.”
“Thank you.” She shook her head then and looked toward the road. “My goodness. Ilya Rozanov.”
“I was very sorry when my teammate ran into Shane. He did not mean to do it. He is just large man and gets much speed on the ice.”
“Then he needs better control,” Yuna snapped, and Ilya couldn’t really argue.
“Okay,” David spoke up then. “Can you help Shane get into the back seat? I’ll drive you two to Shane’s house, and Yuna will follow us to take me home.”
“Yes,” Ilya said, “certainly.” He wrapped his arm around Shane’s back and murmured in his ear, “Come on, you.”
Shane was biddable, allowing himself to be guided into the back seat of his car. Ilya climbed in after him and was surprised when Shane tilted himself sideways to rest his head on Ilya’s thigh. Ilya connected his seatbelt and wrapped the other belt around Shane’s middle as best he could. He then sat in silence and gently tangled his fingers in Shane’s hair until David got into the driver’s seat. He turned the radio to classic rock turned down very low then pulled out into the road when there was a small break in the traffic. He seemed to be doing his best to avoid bumps and potholes, and Ilya imagined that Shane would appreciate that.
Within less than an hour, the car crunched to a stop outside of a large home with lights shining out through many glass walls. This glass house is what Shane considers to be so private? Ilya wondered.
Once they were inside, Shane stretched out on the very soft-looking sofa. David gestured at the kitchen. “I think Shane did a lot of grocery shopping, so just look around and eat whatever you want.”
Ilya nodded. “Okay, thank you. We will be fine.”
“I’m sure you will. Just please call me if you’re not sure if you should call 911 or not. Give us an opportunity to help, okay? Can I trust you with that or should I stay here tonight? I can do that, no problem.”
Ilya had been looking forward to this time alone with Shane for months, so he shook his head. “You can trust me. I promise I will call you if I am concerned. I only want Shane to get better.”
“Me too.” David walked closer and reached his arm out to shake Ilya’s hand again. He squeezed tightly enough that he had to be making a point. Ilya just nodded and squeezed back lightly.
Finally, after that, David left, and then the car headlights that had been lingering out front left as well, and only night surrounded them in what Ilya assumed was a very attractive and well-designed
glass bottle. He looked forward to seeing it in daylight. Outside the windows, moonlight glimmered off of water, and Ilya wanted to see and explore the lake in daylight as well. He hadn’t swum in anything other than a pool since Sochi, and he hoped that whatever lake they were on would be nicer than the Black Sea, with its foot-torturing stone beaches and underwater boulders lurking to give unwary swimmers bruises as the tide swept them against the large rocks. Also, if he saw anybody in a speedo, it would be beautiful Shane, not some elderly man with wrinkled nuts slipping out of his briefs or an old woman with her breasts halfway to her hips. He shuddered at the memories. He knew that American old people would not wear such things in public, and he thought that was for the best. He wondered if Shane would maybe wear a Speedo to do his yoga. That would certainly allow for full range of motion. He thought of Shane in bed, folded up with his knees near his freckled ears, and thought that he should be grateful for Shane doing the yoga instead of making jokes about it.
Ilya rummaged around in the refrigerator and the kitchen cabinets and came up with something to heat up for himself as well as a can of soup in case Shane was hungry. When Ilya asked, Shane shook his head against the sofa pillow and made an unhappy noise. “Okay, you just rest.”
Ilya microwaved the frozen pasta and hoped that the beeps wouldn’t hurt Shane and that the smell of it wouldn’t make him sick. Shane seemed to sleep through the whole thing until Ilya gently woke him to guide him up the stairs to his bedroom.
Shane burrowed into his covers and smiled contentedly with his eyes closed. “Are you staying?” He asked quietly.
“Of course. I have to be close in case you feel worse. And what do you think I came here for anyway, if not to sleep in the same bed as you.”
“Yesss,” Shane said, smiling again. Ilya made sure his phone was at hand on the bedside table in case he needed to call for help then stripped down and climbed in behind Shane. The mattress was very comfortable and the covers pleasantly soft and warm. Shane, in his arms, was relaxed and warm, and Ilya let his hands rest lightly over the slight softness of Shane’s belly.
Thankfully, the night was peaceful,and Shane seemed to feel better in the morning. He had an appetite at least, and Ilya felt happily domestic as he scrambled up some eggs and toasted bread for their breakfast. He desperately wanted coffee but didn’t know how to work Shane’s machine. He even looked for tea, since he was sure he could manage boiling water.
His mama had always brewed tea if Ilya wasn’t feeling well. He remembered one day after he took a nasty spill on the
ice. There had been no concussion, but his behind had hurt, and he was cold from spending some time sprawled out on the frozen pond in a bitter wind. His mother had put him on the sofa with many crocheted blankets over him then brewed tea from loose leaves, which had sounded very complicated as she talked herself through the process. She had served the tea with fresh plums that had been so much more delicious than any Ilya had been able to buy in American grocery stores. His mother had probably purchased them from some gnarled person selling them on the side of the road, and some days Ilya wanted to return to Russia just to find such fruit. He did not wish to so much as catch sight of his brother but the sweetness of those plums could never be wrong. He had been able to buy an excellent melon from a roadside seller near Sochi but he hadn’t found any plums on that trip, despite trying. He had been willing to empty his pockets of dollars to fill them with dark, sweet fruit and send some poor person home to their family with a handful of precious American money. The money would, after all, do him very little good spent on alcohol in the athletes’ village.
When Ilya opened an overhead cabinet he had previously ignored, he found tins full of teabags. He boiled some water and was able to make fragrant cups of tea for himself and Shane. His mother would not approve of the bagged tea but he thought it was better than nothing.
The lake was chilly in sight from the table where they sat to eat their breakfast. Ilya gazed out at it happily, but the sharp sunlight off of the water seemed to hurt Shane’s eyes, so Ilya chivvied him into moving to have his back to the windows. That allowed Ilya to look at the scenery outside and Shane inside at the same time, which seemed perfect to Ilya.
When his phone buzzed in his pocket, Ilya pulled it out to see a text that read only “tell Shane to check his phone.”
“Check your phone, please. I suspect I am getting texts from your mother now.
Shane put a hand to his face and groaned. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for. Are you feeling okay?”
“I’m fine. Jesus. I’m just going to get my phone before they come knocking at our door. That could absolutely happen. I promise you.”
“Let us try to avoid that then.” Shane’s mother had eyes that were capable of seeing far too much, and Ilya didn’t like the thought of her looking in at them through the house’s many windows. Shane nodded and stood to go find his phone.
“Okay, I’ve texted her back so we should be safe for now. She’ll be here in about an hour to take me to an appointment.”
“That sounds good. Do you want me to go with you? I would not mind.”
“No,no, you stay and enjoy the house, the property. Relax for a while. I’m sorry I’m not a very fun host so far.”
Ilya put a hand on Shane’s shoulder. “You have nothing to apologize for. I slept in a very nice bed last night, thank you.”
“You are very, very welcome.” Shane’s lips quirked up in a small smirk, and Ilya couldn’t resist leaning in to kiss those lips. Shane moaned happily against Ilya’s mouth, and Ilya slipped one hand behind Shane’s neck to cradle his head.
“Yess, yes,” he said softly. “All better now.”
“Good.” Ilya wanted very badly for that to be true. The idea of Shane being injured long-term was unacceptable. Ilya didn’t know who he would be as a player without Shane to play against, and he didn’t know who he’d be as a man without Shane to love.
Later, when they were both showered and dressed—Shane to go to the doctor and Ilya in trunks to go swimming—Ilya took Shane in his arms again. “I will go with you if it would help at all.”
Shane made a negative sound into ilya’s mouth, and Ilya just kissed him harder for it. He caught movement out the corner of his eye and glanced up to see Yuna watching them from outside the house. Ilya pulled back then and whispered to Shane, “Your mother is here.”
Shane turned and saw her watching and then stepped away from Ilya. “Oh, fuck. FUCK!”
“What is wrong?”
Shane shot a sharp glare at Ilya. “ she didn’t know about us. About me. Fuck me.”
“Later, Darling. Not with your mama watching.”
“Not helping,” Shane growled.
“Shall I let her in?”
“Might as well.”
Ilya walked over to the front door and swung it open, trying his best to manufacture an innocent smile.
“Uh-huh,” Yuna said, barely looking at Ilya as she aimed herself toward her son.
“Mom, that wasn’t—“
“Honey, it’s okay. Really. I’m quite clear on what it was.”
“Great.” Shane ran a hand through his hair.
“Does your head hurt again? Will you be okay for the drive into town?”
“It’s fine. I’ll be fine. Promise.”
“Okay. Is your…Ilya coming with us?”
“I would be happy to go,” Ilya responded. “But Shane would like for me to stay here instead.”
“Of course.” Yuna put a hand on Shane’s arm. “Honey, let’s get on the road.”
Shane nodded. “Sure, mom”
“Call me if you need me, okay? I imagine there is Uber out here so I could get into town, yes?”
“Yes. But I’ll be fine. I’ll see you in a little while.”
“Okay,” Ilya took Shane’s hand and briefly squeezed it. “Be well.”
Shane squeezed back once then caressed Ilya’s hand as he withdrew. “I will. Thank you.”
Yuna looked at Ilya then leaned in to speak in Shane’s ear. “I thought you hated him?”
Shane let out one quiet laugh and shook his head. “No, not for a long time. Actually, mom, I uh love him.”
Ilya felt a sharp pain in his chest and reached out to put a hand on Shane’s shoulder. Yuna’s eyes went wide. “Oh, I see,” she said softly.
“I love him too. We are lovers.”
Shane shrugged to shake off Ilya’s hand. “Stop it, Ilya, that’s gross.”
Ilya didn’t understand how something so factual could be wrong to say. Shane sniffed them and put a hand over his eyes. “Sorry guys, I just need a minute.” He walked over to the sofa and sat down. Yuna watched Shane with concern, and after a moment Ilya realized that Shane was actually crying. With a few quick strides, he was next to Shane and had an arm around his back. “You are okay. We are okay here.”
“Sorry,” Shane said congestedly. “It’s the concussion. It makes my emotions—“ He made a gesture with his hand that Ilya took to mean”mixed up.”
Ilya rubbed his back. “You will feel better soon, I am sure. But tight now, everything is okay. Your mom is here. Your boyfriend is here. Only people who love you are here right now.”
“Oh,” Yuna said very quietly.
Shane rested his head against Ilya’s and just breathed for a moment. “My mom knows now,” he whispered.
Ilya smiled. “I imagine so.”
“Honey, is it okay if I come sit down with you?”
“Yeah. Course,” Shane mumbled. Yuna walked over and sat down on the unoccupied end of the sofa, next to Shane.
“Honey, everything is fine. I see what’s going on , but it doesn’t matter to me. I love you so much. So very much.”
Ilya felt tears burning behind his eyes. He was so glad that Shane could have this, but he couldn’t help wondering what his own mother would have said.
I’m sorry, mom,” Shane said. “I tried. I did.”
“I don’t need you to try to be anything other than yourself. I’m sorry that you thought you needed to keep this part of your life from me. Please forgive me.”
The weight of Shane’s head left Ilya’s shoulder, and Shane leaned against his mother instead, sniffling quietly. “I forgive you, mom. I just never wanted you to be ashamed of me.”
“Oh, honey, I couldn’t be. I could never be. You’re such a good man and a good son and a great player. I couldn’t wish for anything more.”
“Except maybe Rose Landry as a daughter in law?”
Yuna laughed quietly. “Clearly, that was not meant to be. But, you know. I dreamed for years of having an amazing hockey player for a son. I never imagined I could have two of them.”
Ilya’s chest ached, and he thought he must have let out an involuntary sound because Yuna reached over and touched his knee. “Yes, two amazing hockey player sons. I am so blessed.”
“But aren’t you shocked, mom?
“I admit that I’m a little surprised at who specifically you are with, but your father and I have thought for years that you might be. Uh, gay?”
“Really?” Shane sounded distressed, and Ilya ran a hand up and down his back. “But yes, mom, gay. I’m gay. Rose and I were not able to be compatible.”
“I can see why not. My goodness. But you and Ilya? You are compatible?”
“Definitely,” Shane said, his voice deeper than usual, and Ilya was glad he knew that word now. Compatible.
“May I ask how long you two have been together?”
Shane chuckled. “Well, Mom, a pretty long time. We first got together our rookie year.”
“The summer before,” Ilya interjected.
“You’re right. It was the summer before.”
“Oh, my. That long? I never imagined.”
“We didn’t want anybody to know.”
“Clearly. Ilya, has Shane ever met your parents? At Sochi perhaps?”
“No. Unfortunately that will not be possible.”
“I remember hearing about the loss of your father. I’m so sorry, Ilya.”
“Thank you. But we were not close.”
“And your mother?”
“Oh, she has been gone long time. Since I was young.”
“Then I am even more sorry. A boy needs his mother. Especially when his life is…complicated. How old were you?”
“Twelve,” Shane whispered, sounding like he was about to start back with the tears. Ilya would join him if he did.
“Oh, my.” Yuna squeezed Ilya’s knee where she was still resting her hand. “I’m so sad for her that she missed so much of her son. Shane was still such a little boy at that age. It’s been my pleasure to see him become a man.”
“I want to see pictures of little hockey boy Shane.”
You’ll have to come over to our place for dinner one night. I have the albums there.”
Shane made a small noise of protest, but Ilya decided to ignore that. “I would love that,” he said instead.
“You gonna tell Dad?” Shane mumbled in his mother’s direction.
“Well, I think I have to. We don’t keep secrets. Especially not big ones. But your father won’t be upset, Shane. He loves you so much, no matter who you have in your life. He’ll be so glad to know that you have somebody. We’ve both been worried about you being alone.”
“M’not alone.”
“I see that. Oh my, it must have been a big thing for you two to see what Scott Hunter did at the Cup finals.”
“Well, yeah,” Shane said. “Ilya called me right after and said he would come to the cottage.”
“Really? You were afraid before that, Ilya?”
Ilya didn’t want to admit to his fears but Yuna was clearly a perceptive woman. “This is not accepted in Russia. If people found out, I could never go there again.”
“Ooh, I see. That would be very sad, not to be able to go to one’s home.”
“Yes. Though I want to get rid of Russian passport.”
“Hmm. If you two want to get married so you can get Canadian citizenship, we can make that happen. I will work with your publicists and your teams. I will plan the wedding.”
Shane chuffed out a small laugh through his nose. “I bet you would love that, mom.”
“I would. I would send a personal invitation to the commissioner of the MLH. If he doesn’t like it, he can kiss my fine ass.”
“Mom!” Shane protested.”
“Okay,” Ilya said “perhaps that is enough, and you two should go to appointment?”
“Yes, you’re right.” Yuna looked at her watch and shook her head. “We’ve got to get on the road, honey.” She stood, and Ilya followed suit, guiding Shane up with him and holding him until he felt steady on his feet.
“Come on, get your jacket and go out to the car. You’re sure you don’t want me to go with? I can get dressed very quickly.”
Shane patted Ilya’s arm and stepped away. “We’ll be fine. Thanks though.”
“Of course.”
“I’ll make burgers tonight.”
“Sounds good.” Ilya had seen the gas grill out on the deck. He had enjoyed many excellent burgers grilled in his teammates’ back yards outside of Boston, and he was looking forward to the taste of the grilled meat, this time without a dozen little children running around shrieking in three different languages.
“If it’s too much, just come over to our house for dinner,” Yuna added.
“Oh no, I can do it. I’m not actually brain damaged just a little bit bruised still.”
“Of course, honey. Now let’s get going.”
She walked straight for the door. Shane went to grab his light jacket then followed her with a small wave and smile for Ilya.
Ilya watched as the SUV pulled away from the house and hoped that the appointment would be uneventful. He could tell that Shane was sensitive about the idea of his brain not working right, and he was determined not to do or say anything that would make him feel like Ilya thought he was broken or defective. In fact, he thought Shane was perfect. Still. Always.
The beautiful summer day beckoned from outside, and Ilya grabbed a bottle of water before walking out into the sunshine. His bare feet padded over the grass and mud until he was able to step into the sun-warmed water of the lake. At the water’s edge, he held onto roots at the base of a sapling and leaned back to let his body float in the shallow water. He kept his light grip on the tree because he didn’t want to open his eyes to find himself out in the middle of the lake. As he floated, sunlight okayed through the branches of the trees above him, creating spots of light they shone through his eyelids. He hummed to himself and felt more at ease and at peace than he had since he was a small child. The water comforted his body, which had taken somewhat of a beating through the season and post-season as usual. The natural sounds all around him eased his mind to a deep level of relaxation. He realized then that this was part of what Shane had wanted to give him by inviting him to the cottage. He hadn’t only been thinking of a week or two of endless sex; he’dalso been looking out for Ilya’s wellbeing. That thought was as warming as the sun on water, and Ilya felt his whole self relaxing into the water.
Shane would come back soon and join him in the water. Shane’s brain would be fine. He could clearly afford the best doctors, and the team too would make sure he had the care he needed.
Ilya wanted Shane to return to the ice as the excellent player and captain that he had been, but more than that he needed Shane to return to being Shane and to stay that way for many, many years.
Anything less would be unacceptable