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Act I
Scene i
The scene begins on a dark stage. The spotlights turn on, bright white light illuminating two figures on a stage. One is stark in white clothing – a prince character – we shall name him CROW. The other figure is dressed in black clothing, a stark contrast to his partner, we shall name him JOKER.
They walk to center stage and face one another, ten paces apart, their hands at their sides.
CROW
We don’t have to do this, you know.
CROW is stepping towards JOKER as he speaks while JOKER does not move.
JOKER
We don’t have to do anything.
JOKER shakes his head sadly.
CROW
Exactly my po-
Just as CROW reaches JOKER, JOKER turns to the crowd, narrowly avoiding CROW.
JOKER
Because it won’t matter. We are introduced. We banter and fight. We confess and then you’ll pull out a gun and shoot me dead.
CROW
I could change that.
CROW comes to join him, resting a hand on his shoulder.
JOKER
But will you?
CROW says nothing more and the spotlights go black.
Scene ii
The stage is still dark but slowly two spotlights appear at the front of the stage, casting both CROW and JOKER in a deep red light. They are standing away from each other, both dressed in school uniforms.
JOKER
They say the show must go on.
CROW
Which is utter bullshit.
JOKER
Call it what you want but it’s show business.
Somewhere off in the distance a rimshot is played. CROW glares at the side of the stage it came from.
CROW
We need to escape.
JOKER
It’s not going to work.
CROW
We have to try. Come on, we have to try.
JOKER
We did. And we failed. Over and over and over and over…
JOKER continues on like a broken record while CROW puts his hands out in front of him, only to meet some invisible force.
CROW
R–
JOKER
It’s JOKER and you know it.
CROW sighs and lets his fists drag down the barrier.
CROW
I know and I’m sorry.
JOKER
You’ve never been sorry so why start now?
CROW
Because I –
JOKER
Too soon. Too early and too late.
The stage goes black just as CROW reassumes his position.
Scene iii
The lights turn on, illuminating a nearly empty stage save for a single table and two chairs. At the center of the table is a GUN. CROW and JOKER enter from opposite sides of the stage, still dressed in their school uniforms. Neither sits at the table.
CROW
This is getting old.
CROW stares at the GUN with contempt. Still, neither sit.
JOKER
And still no new answers.
JOKER sighs and picks up the GUN. Yet, neither of them are sitting.
CROW
Fine. We get it.
CROW finally sits in the chair, and motions for JOKER to do the same. Still, JOKER is standing. He’s admiring the GUN in his hands.
CROW
Will you just fucking sit down?
JOKER
What do you think would happen if I –?
CROW
Sit the FUCK down.
JOKER sits down and tosses the GUN onto the table.
JOKER
There, happy?
CROW gives him a deadpan look as he picks up the GUN and points it at JOKER.
CROW
Ecstatic.
CROW fires the GUN but it only makes an empty click.
CROW
Of fucking course. Just like performance 2–
JOKER
–12. I remember. I think that’s when the sandbag fell and crushed my chest.
CROW
No, that was performance 46. 212 was when the Fresnel light came down and cracked my skull.
JOKER
My mistake.
JOKER’s smile is all teeth, almost manic. CROW sets the GUN back down before leaning back and crossing his arms.
CROW
Current performance?
JOKER
My dear, you know I stopped counting once we hit the triple digits.
CROW
My mistake.
JOKER
Wasn’t it always?
CROW
If it helps you sleep better.
JOKER
Nothing will.
CROW
I could fix that.
He looks pointedly at the GUN.
JOKER
We’re still in the first act. You need to wait until the third.
CROW
Right, my mistake.
JOKER
No, I think it’s mine.
The lights fade to black just as fingers brush against one another.
Act II
Scene i
The curtain opens upon an empty and dark stage, except for a single beam of light in the middle. CROW enters and stands in the beam.
CROW
Fuck you. I’m not doing this.
The stage begins to illuminate more. There are headstones surrounding CROW and they do not seem to end.
CROW
I told you I’m not doing this.
Numbers and sentences appear on the headstones. CROW begins to read them and –
CROW
Absolutely not.
CROW growls and moves to leave but he is frozen in place. He struggles to lift his feet as the headstones begin to inch towards him, their words glowing brighter and brighter.
CROW
Do your worst.
CROW smiles with all his teeth but his face grows pale when he hears a cry of pain that does not belong to him.
The stage quickly goes to black.
Scene ii
The stage illuminates with soft blue lights as JOKER stands alone in the center, brandishing a single card.
JOKER
We all have a part to play here. Whether we are the heroes or the villains it matters not in the end.
JOKER speaks poignantly and eloquently as he has spoken these lines thousands of times. By now the words are not just ones he’s rehearsed; they’re words from the heart.
JOKER
I accept my role in all of this and I hope he does too.
CROW (off stage)
I’ll never accept this ruse.
JOKER
That’s why we have to suffer.
The stage fades to black as the sound of banging rings through the theater.
Scene iii
The lights turn on to a soft pink color. CROW and JOKER stand beside one another, their hands clasped together tight.
JOKER
This is our moment.
CROW
I’m tired of this [JOKER].
CROW turns to walk off stage but JOKER catches his hand, pulling him into a spin.
JOKER
I know you’re tired, my dear. We have a role to commit to.
CROW
You have a role to commit to. I want out of this hell.
JOKER pulls him into a slow kind of dance, his hand gripping CROW’s side.
JOKER
Is hell being by my side?
CROW
Don’t twist my words.
JOKER
Play your part and then it will be over.
CROW
I’d rather die.
It all goes to black as the two share a searing kiss.
Scene iv
The scene is set by a dark stage, a dim light hangs above CROW as he investigates the exam table in front of him.
CROW
I don’t care. I’m not looking under the sheet.
CROW refuses but even he understands the need to KEEP THE SHOWING GOING.
CROW
Direct me all you want; I’m tired of this nightmare.
CROW turns around and suddenly three more tables have appeared. All are identical and trap him in the center of the stage.
CROW
Do whatever you want to me. Kill me, shoot me, hang me from this stage. I’m not going to fold. I’m not like [JOKER]. I’m not some damn puppet for you to play with. Just because he enjoys playing the part doesn’t mean I do.
UNKNOWN
Is that what you think?
CROW flinches and looks around. One of the figures begins to move.
UNKNOWN 2
You think I folded?
UNKNOWN 3
That I enjoy being the puppet?
All the figures begin to move, the sheets still covering their faces. Together they move towards CROW. As they stand in front of him, their sheets fall away. The first figure has a GUNshot to the middle of his head. The next has a neck covered in deep purple bruises, his words coming out raspy. The third is holding a gaping wound in his side. And the last one has blood running from his mouth, the last one is the one who speaks now.
JOKER
You should know better than anyone that puppets have feelings or did you forget when you killed me?
The curtain is drawn quickly and the only noise is the sound of soft crying.
Act III
Scene i
The curtains open and reveal a dimly lit stage. CROW is standing to the left and JOKER is –
JOKER is gone.
CROW
Ha ha, very funny JOKER, come on out now.
JOKER is still not on stage.
CROW
JOKER, you know I’m sorry.
JOKER is still missing.
CROW
JOKER, where in the fuck are you?
CROW is getting impatient and JOKER is still gone.
CROW
Shut UP! You did something, didn’t you?
CROW looks out over the audience but no one answers him. The lights are too bright, making it impossible to see anyone past the front of the stage. For all CROW knows there is no audience. Whether or not the theater is full is terrifying either way.
CROW
Give him back! Give him back! Give him back!
CROW takes his sword and charges the barrier, only for his weapon to disappear and for him to fall through the trap door.
Now neither CROW or JOKER are on stage.
.
.
.
Goro gasps as he tries to catch his breath when he falls straight onto the wooden floor. “What the fuck?” he wheezes as he stands.
He’s under the stage and he is still not sure if he should be hopeful or fearful but it doesn’t matter. It’s the most progress they’ve had in weeks, or maybe months. He doesn’t dare to think it’s been longer than that.
The orchestra pit is empty but the air feels warm as if the space was just vacated. Out of morbid curiosity he touches a seat to find it still warm.
“Was someone just here?”
A sudden noise surprises Goro, making him draw his gun and point his flashlight at the other end of the pit.
“Whoa, whoa, simmer down,” Ren says, holding up his own gun and flashlight to the ceiling.
Goro groans and rushes the other man. Ren extends his arms expecting a hug but is met by a full body tackle. “You fucking ASSHOLE,” Goro wails, grabbing his collar and shaking him. “You left me there!”
“Me? I’m not the one who pissed off the thing,” he says, taking Goro’s hands and pushing him off. He dusts off his clothes and sets his gun back in his holster.
“You were gone,” Goro still seethes, pocketing his gun and seeing if his comm is working.
“Already tried, can’t get in touch with Fuuka, Rise, or Futaba,” Ren shrugs, making his way through the pit.
“I agree to help with one mission and it just so happens to be one where we get stuck in a thespian time loop.”
“They could have at least put us in a fun production.”
“Like what, Phantom of the Opera,” Goro smirks as they travel through the sea of chairs and instruments.
“What? No. I would have killed for Mamma Mia!”
“Of course you would have.”
“Say what you want, it’s a love letter to ABBA,” Ren throws a grin at him as they find the door leading to the backstage.
When they open the door and climb the stairs they find just what kind of messed up place they’re in. Hundreds of people are sitting the seats but none of them are moving, their gazes are fixed on the stage. Goro would think they were corpses if not for the periodic blinking and the rhythmic rise and fall of their chests.
On the stage is a single woman dressed in white. She’s utterly grotesque as she waltzes around the stage. When she sees them, she screams and everything turns white.
Act III
Scene v
The stage illuminates brightly. CROW and JOKER face each other. Both hold a GUN.
CROW
Wait, we’re not both supposed to have a GUN.
JOKER
We broke the rules and you know what happens when we do.
JOKER is sad as he stares at the GUN. His hands tremble as he points his GUN at himself, burying the barrel into his chest.
CROW
Don’t you dare.
JOKER
This is what it wants, what they want.
CROW rushes forward as a single GUNshot rings out.
.
.
.
Goro catches Ren just as he falls, the bullet having hit his bulletproof vest. The monster shrieks before it is being beaten back by the rest of the Shadow Ops. Goro moves Ren to safety, inspecting to make sure the bullet didn’t pierce him.
“You’re a fucking lunatic,” Goro all but growls.
“Were you scared?” Ren smirks, caressing Goro’s cheek. “It worked, didn’t it?”
“That doesn’t matter. We just had to wait. We always wait.” Goro pushes him away once he sees that he’s fine.
“Goro, you can tell me you were scared,” Ren says softly, resting a hand on his shoulder.
“This is why I didn’t want to join,” Goro whispers.
“Because of the freaky shit? You’ve dealt with worse, and honestly, this is kinda like a normal Tuesday for us,” Ren tries to laugh but he stops when he notices Goro is still staring at the ground.
“I thought you died, each time.”
He had to watch Ren die multiple times, and just when he thought the nightmare was over, they were back on that dark and empty stage. Goro had dealt with worse, it’s why he retired. And frankly, had he been paired with Ken or Yu, he might not have cared as much. But of course he was stuck in a deadly timeloop with his husband.
“I’m sorry,” Ren whispers, wrapping his arms around him.
“You better be.”
“Sushi?”
Goro thinks it over. “Curry.”
“We’ll stop by Leblanc on the way home,” Ren smiles against his ear.
“Good,” Goro turns and kisses his cheek before they go and find Akihiko and Mitsuru for debriefing. As they talk with their superiors, they keep their hands clasped together, making sure that this isn’t just another illusion.