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And I'm Thankful [For the Little Things]

Summary:

Every day is a first except it's not.

When things are bad it's easy to be thankful for tomorrow.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

He doesn't wake up, well as far as the fact that he wasn't asleep goes anyway, but that might as well be the case because everthing before that moment is a blank slate.

The last thing Taeil remembers is playing basketball with his friends but that memory ends abruptly, giving no clues as to how he ended up here or why. Where even is here? The room is clean and welcoming but also sterile and unfamiliar to the extent to Taeil has to fight the urge to get up and leave even though he doesn't understand it.

Taeil finds that he doesn't understand a lot and the lack of knowledge sends his brain into a frenzied panic as he tries to string together the few things he does know.

His name is Moon Taeil, he's 17 years old and a student at Hanlim Multi Arts academy, he lives alone after an argument with his parents led to him moving out.

It's a painfully small amount but he holds onto every fact like lifeline because if there's one thing Moon Taeil hates, it's not knowing.

"You're awake," the voice that intrudes onto his panicked conscience is smooth and as unfamiliar as the environment but it serves as an anchor that pulls him back into reality. "I'm Doctor Lee, can you tell me what you remember about why you're here?" It's a standard question but the blank his mind draws when he tries to come up with an answer to the question is worrying.

"I'm-- not sure really. I was playing basketball with my frends and I guess I got into some kind of accident? It's all fuzzy after that..." Taeil's voice falters as he tries to provide as much information as possible, never once looking up to meet the eyes of the doctor with the soothing voice.

When he finally does lift his eyes from the over-starched sheets, the first thing he sees is a white doctors coat, nothing out of the ordinary but it drives the nail into the coffin. He wasn't so sure before but now he's certain that he's in the hospital. following the trail of regulation fabric, his eyes are drawn to messy silver-grey hair and brown eyes that are watching him closely.

There's no question in them but for a moment Taeil thinks he sees fondness or care. It's gone before his mind can fully evaluate it.

"Okay, I just have a few questions before we can check you over fully. Can you tell me your full name and age?" It's a strange question because Taeil can see that he's holding a clipboard which more than likely contains information about him but he replies obediently anyway.

"My name's Moon Taeil, I'm 17." There it is again, the flash of something in doctor Lee's eyes but it's different this time, dissapointment mixed with something unidentifiable. Again, It's gone before Taeil can asses or comment.

"And can you tell what todays date is Taeil?" The words roll off his tongue with hesitence, as if he doesn't want to ask for fear of the answer being unfavourable but he does anyway. It's another strange question but Taeil's never been in the hospital for something serious before so he figures that it must be regulation.

"I'm not sure how long I was asleep but it should be September 3rd, 2012." Doctor Lee doesn't reply right away, instead taking his time to note something down in the file that's cradled in the crook of his arm. Somehow the atmosphere is stifling but Taeil doesn't why it became so or how he should go about fixing it. He tries to lighten the atmosphere with a joke.

"So what's my prognosis Doc? Life threatening? Will I have to be confined to the hospital for the rest of my life?" The cheerful words, intended to break the tension, have the opposite effect and Doctor Lee stiffens before a smile, obviously forced, appears on his face.

"No, you just took a hit to the head during your game. We'll keep you in overnight for observation just in case you have a concussion but you should be free to go tomorrrow morning. Do you have someone who can come and collect you?" It's a viable explanation and Taeil finds himself nodding along, unconsciously lulled by the sound of his voice.

"My parents work but one of them might be able to get the time off. If not, would one of my friends suffice?" Taeil's not certain but he's fairly sure that he sees pity fash through the doctors eyes this time and he puts it down to the fact that his friends would in fact not suffice and he'd have to find another alternative.

"Ah-- okay, we'll see what we can do about contacting them for you. In the meantime, how are you feeling today?" There's a sort of lilting hesitance to the way he speaks and Taeil thinks that it must be borne from uncertainty about the situation which is strange because as a doctor, he should be privy to more inforation that Taeil himself was.

How is he feeling? It's a question that he can't answer right away because really, he feels absolutely fine but his presence in the hospital must mean that there's something wrong. He mentally surverys himself but nothing stands as as abnormal or ever bad, he feels the same as he always has but he's hesitant to speak those words aloud to Doctor Lee who's watching him with a sort of withdrawn expectance. He's supposed to have a head injury but his head feels fine, not even a residual ache lingers from what was supposedly a collision of some sort.

"I'm... honestly, I know this is the last thing you probably want to hear but it's the only way I can think to describe how I'm feeling, I'm fine. I don't feel any pain anywhere."

Doctor Lee doesn't look exasperated or put-out as Taeil would have expected, instead he takes the pen that's been sitting in the pocket of his coat and makes notes silently, eyes flickering up only once before darting away when he notices that Taeil is watching him. The silence isn't awkward per se but the air is thick with an emoton that Taeil can't really distinguish. He thinks it might be disappointment but brushes the thought away because that doesn't make sense.

Sunlight filters in through the window, catching on someting reflective and throwing tiny shards of chrystaline light onto every imaginable surface. He hadn't given it much thought before but now Taeil realises that it must be somewhere around midday and the last thing he remebers is in the early evening.

The tension in the room lifts slighty as Doctor Lee's eyes linger on something for a second and then he's smiling, the first real smile since he entered Taeil's room. "So Taeil, you're in highschool? How's that going?" His voice holds a suggestve tone, remniscent of someone who'd beeen through highschool and knows that studying is usually the last thing on a students mind.

Taeil raises an eyebrow questioningly, he's a good student who rarely gets in trouble but Johnny, Hansol and Yuta often succesfully manage to coax him into skipping and doing things that he probably shouldn't be doing.

He shrugs, "It's highscool. Nothing interesting or worth talking about." and that's it because Taeil doesn't know what else he should say. Fortunately the other man is more than willing to drive his point him and he sits back in his seat, crossing one leg over the other, smirking suggestively.

"No girfriend? You're plenty attractive."

It's an unexpected admission and Taeil feels his face heat up because although he hasn't really allowed himself to think about it, Doctor Lee himself is more than just 'plenty attractive' but he also looks like he could be ten years older than Taeil himself. The smirk on the doctors face only grows as he watches Taeil try to gather himself, mouth open in shock and cheeks a startling shade of red. It's the open display of confidence in his abilities that makes Taeil blurt out his next comment, "Are you flirting with me?" in a more coy tone than he ever would have usually if he was in his right mind.

Abruptly everything in the room goes quiet as Doctor-Gorgeous stares at him with wide eyes before burtsing into loud, genuine laughter. Taeil suppose that he should feel offended but he does't because it doesn't feel like he's being laughed at so much as he's in on the joke and has just forgotten the punch line. The laughter drives away any tension that was lingering in the air and briefly, he thinks that Doctor-Sexy should laugh more often because the sound is addictve and enlightening all at once.

When he lifts his head, there are tears in his eyes that he hastily whipes away and his smiling so hard that it reaches his eyes. Taeil thinks that it might be the most genuine smile he's ever seen and maybe, just maybe, he might be a little infatuated.

"Sorry--" the doctor sputters, finally managing to get his laughter under control and only at that point did Taeil notice that he'd been pouting. "It's just you-- No I'm not flirting with you. I'm happily married." He flashes the ring on his left ring finger and the first thing that goes through Taeil's head is that the ring must have been what caught the sunlight before.

"She's lucky," is all that he says in reply but Dr. Lee seems to get the meaning anyway and his smile turns from one of mirth to one of soft adoration. "He, and I'm the one that's lucky." He replies and maybe it's taeil's imagination but he swears that he sees tears in the olders eyes once again.

"I've got to go and check on my other patients but a nurse will be in to check on you shortly. Try to stay out of the hospital in future Moon Taeil." The words are spoken with the casual cordiality of any medical staff but they feel like they mean so much more as Taeil catches a final glance and then he's alone.

--

Taeyong barely makes it to his office before he collapses, knees weak as he sinks into the worn cusions of the couch that lines one wall of the cramped space. The clipboard which had been his lifeline during the meeting clatters to the floor and he wordlessly hopes that people will mind their own business and not come to check out the cause of the noise.

It isn't always like this, there are good days and bad days but he doesn't know which one is easier to deal with at this point because both cause pain and he doesn't know how much more he can take.

He's been Moon Taeil's doctor for two years but he's known him for much longer than that.

Lee Taeyong met Moon Taeil when he was 21 and in his second year old college, Taeil was 22 and a music major who was too shy to even talk to Taeyong despite how insistent the younger could get.

When Lee Taeyong was 23 he married Moon Taeil and just 5 months later, he recieved news that would change his life forever.

That day was just like any other, Taeyong was cleaning their apartment while Taeil went to the airport to pick up his parents because it was their year to host their annual get together.

Until that moment, he didn't know that a phone call could change his life.

'It happened too fast for him to move,' they said, 'The driver was on their phone and not watching the road.' and the worlds that still shake him to his very core whenever he thinks them, 'The elderly couple are dead, the young man, Lee Taeil, is unconscious but he's on the way to the hospital.'

Taeil didn't wake up right away but when he did, the first words he'd asked Taeyong where 'Who are you?' and he clearly remembers the adverse reaction of his older man who believed he was a teenager to being told that he was married. He doesn't want to remember the look of distress that marred Taeil's features as he tried desperately to recal events which had been completely erased from his memory.

He's been like that for two years now but it's not like that everyday. Some days he remembers much more and he greets Taeyong with a warm smile and open arms only to look at him with the wary glance of a stranger the next day. Each day is like a new wound but Taeyong doesn't dare think about giving up because when he promised 'In sickeness and in health' he meant it. Moon Taeil might not know who he is most of the time but Taeyong can't help but be thankful because he still gets to see the face of the one that he holds most dear. He doesn't like to think about how uncomfortably close that came to being a lie.

Today isn't the first time he's accused Taeyong of flirting with him, hell, he's been propositioned with hooded eyes and tantalzing smirks before but he likes to think of it as some, dormant part of his lover clinging to a sense of familiarity.

He won't leave Taeil. Not today, not tomorrow and not forever if that's what it takes because he thanks all things holy that Taeil is still here to visit.

--

It's Yuta that finds him, disregarding the closed door and barging in because he knows that it's been a bad day and Taeyong is most likely a mess.

Yuta can't visit Taeil often because they were friends in highschool and the familiar yet aged face would cause too much confusion and distress to make it worth while.

"Bad day?" He mutter, taking in the scattered files and the way Taeyong is sitting in the corner of the couch with his knees pulled up to his chest, breath coming out in great heaving gasps as his shoulers shake with the force of restrained sobs.

"Bad day," Taeyong echeos, his voice empty but not cold because he knows that Yuta is only here because he cares.

"Tomorrow might be better."

And that's the thought that keeps Taeyong going everyday so he accepts the embrace that Yuta offers him, curling into the warmth even though the latters coat smells like antisceptic and linen.

Then he cries.

It's not often that he let's himself cry, even less so when he has company but he knows that Yuta undertands because he's probably cried over the same thing in Hansol's arms a million times.

--

Lee Taeil nee Moon is 26 years old and he suffers from retrograde amnesia caused by a trauma to tthe brain that he recieved when he was 24. Most of the time he doesn't rememer anything passed the age of 17 and the doctors have little hope that he'll recover. He can't handle the strain of being told the things he missed and it isn't worth the risk to see if they can prompt him into a full recovery. He doesn't remember going to college, doesn't remember meeting Taeyong and doesn't remember getting married.

Lee Taeyong is there. Night and day, hoping that by some miracle Taeil will recover but really, he's just happy that they've got a tomorrow to look forward to.

It wasn't until two years ago that Taeyong started appreciating the little things in life.

Notes:

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