Chapter Text
John found himself looking left and right between the Meat and Candy. He felt himself starting to shake as he tried to look into the eyes of the two sitting before him. Roxy and Calliope looked to each other, rather concerned about how John was reacting. They allowed him to think, John's gaze speeding up in its shifts. He was going so fast that the Meat and Candy were starting to blur in his vision. He could see the Christmasesque colors of the Candy starting to mix in with the red and off-white of the meat. His mind was panicking, but...he was starting to see it. The blur was speaking to him. The blur was revealing something to him, the blur was
Roxy: uh jegbert?
John: huh?
John snapped out of his trance. He realized that he was taking much too long to make his choice. He noticed the Cherub looking to him concerningly.
Calliope: do yoU perhaps wish for Us to choose?
John: uh...no. actually, i need a moment.
Roxy: cmon john it aint that hard is it?
John: no, but now i got something on my mind and...
John didn't know what to tell them. The idea he ended up cooking up was just...ridiculous and yet, he felt like he had to pursue it. John got onto his feet.
John: if you can, i need to take a walk.
As John started to walk away, Roxy began to move up only to feel Calliope's hand on her shoulder.
Calliope: perhaps it's best that we leave him to his devices.
Roxy: callie you saw it in his eyes too didnt u? arent you worried?
Calliope: It is Understandable to be concerned, bUt i think john stUmbled Upon a revelation?
Roxy: and you dont wanna hear it?
Calliope: oh, i woUld, bUt i feel like we'll Understand what it is eventUally.
Roxy: hmm...better be something good then...
John found himself walking away from the picnic and as he gazed around the various walks of life he and his friends had been able to bring to Earth C...he just felt himself getting crushed by it all. Eventually, once he sat under a tree isolated from the rest of the park, he proceeded to pull a 2X Facepalm combo on himself as he realized how much of a fool he made out of himself. Come on, was it really that difficult for him to choose between Meat and Candy? This is ridiculous. Frankly, why would he want to pick between such polar opposites? The more he thought about it, the more he thought about that blur he saw. Candy on Meat...wait, wasn't there some photos he saw where he saw some fatty meats glazed in some sugar?
Gahhh, why the hell didn't he just say that?! Of course, then he'd have to make everyone melt the candy down into sugar and glaze it over the meats, all while completely wasting time. If he had just thought of this ahead of time, then it would've been delicious, but now it just felt like he was wasting so much time. If anything, lately, he had always been wasting so much time and...was this really what his Dad wanted him to do? What his Nanna wanted him to do? Granted, Jane was here, but she was clearly different from Nanna. Frankly, he was worried about what she was starting to turn into. He was worried about how a lot of things turned out from how Jane was acting to what he saw with Rose. He could've done something to make this better. He...he could. He can.
John looked around for a moment and realized what he had to do. He remembered the message he got from Caliborn, but...that wasn't where he would go. No...he had a different idea. Taking a Breath, taking one last look around him, John closed his eyes...and disappeared.
>Years ago, but not many...
John Egbert was taking a photo as he watched all of his friends entered the meat. He would be the last to enter. He just needed to take a few photos for the memories. Just as he thought he had taken enough, he heard a zap before he felt a hand on his shoulder.
John: what the-?
(John): we need to talk.
(John) would bring his younger self down to the ground. Of course, John would be rather concerned that he was currently seeing his future self just pop in out of nowhere. Once the two went to an isolated part of the terrain, John already had one thing to guess.
John: so...since you're here, what sort of apocalyptic event do you want us to prevent?
(John): nothing.
John: nothing? well, what's the problem if nothing bad happened?
(John): no, i mean, the problem is nothing. as in, what we did.
John: and what we did was...?
(John), frustrated with hearing how confused and naive he was acting, grabbed his shoulders and started shaking John.
(John): NOTHING! WE DID NOTHING! YOU AND I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING FOR SEVEN YEARS! THAT'S THE PROBLEM WE'RE FACING RIGHT NOW!
John: WHOA, WHOA, whoa!
John quickly pushed his future self away as he dusted himself off.
John: from the sound of it, i just didn't do anything big. what's the problem with that? shouldn't we have a right to have peace?
(John): yeah, we do, but we can't just sit down and do nothing. you know that. like, everyone around us right now is trying to build something. we're going to have peace, but we have to do something to make that peace truly last.
John: ok, so since you're from the future, what's your advice? how can i make this peace truly last?
(John) took a moment while he formulated his thoughts. He looked at his past self, who was mildly annoyed, but also rather concerned.
(John): well, the first thing we need to do...is that we can't let ourselves dwell on our dad.
John: ...that's it? hey, listen, you don't have to worry about that! i've already made peace with that.
(John): no, you haven't. you thought you did, but it turns out you really didn't. i know this for a fact because i'm YOU.
John: look, can't you just see that i'm fine?
(John): dude, be honest with me. i know my own voice and i could tell you right now that you're not telling the whole story.
John could feel his own future self's gaze starting to weigh on him, causing his shoulders to sink as he could only look up to (John).
(John): do you really think it would be that simple to get over?
John: ...no, no, i didn't. but...i have to get over it sooner or later. it's just...i don't know what my dad would want from me. from either of us, really.
(John): and that's what i had to struggle with. the truth is that it's always going to be hard to figure out what dad wanted from us, but i know one thing now and he wouldn't want to spend all of our time thinking about what he would want.
John: what makes you say that?
(John): everything dad did was for us to be able to be strong and make something of ourselves.
John: well, what does that look like? that's what i'm wondering!
(John): it could be anything, that's the thing! dad didn't lay down some huge plan for our future! he just wanted us to live our lives to the fullest! he'd want us to give the world what he gave us.
John: you mean, like...shaving cream and pies?
(John): no, dude. hope. hope and the drive to make things better even if we don't know how things will turn out. it's...it's complicated, but you remember back to the future.
John: uh, yeah?
(John): that wasn't a question. of course you remember! in any case, it's like that where marty goes back in time to talk with his dad in 1955. in this case, however, i'm talking with myself in order to try and make things right.
John: well, what do you expect me to do? i'm barely even an adult at this point!
(John): you just have to do what you can!
John: well, how can i know for sure if what i'll do is what dad wants?!
(John): BECAUSE HE'D WANT US TO DO WHAT MAKES US HAPPY!
(John) stifled himself when he realized he was yelling. He could see his past self starting to shrink. With his own lip quivering, (John) proceeded to give John a hug. He could feel both of himself trembling.
(John): i'm...i'm sorry, man.
John: i know, man.
(John): as much as i want to be strong...it really does hurt to remember that he's not here to help us.
John: did...did it ever stop hurting?
(John): it...it didn't and just sitting around didn't help with that either. that said, it doesn't have to stay that way.
John: how, then?
(John): again, we'll have to make our own choices because that's what dad would want. i know it's going to be hard to figure out what to do beyond some bullet points in the meteor, but if we put our minds into it, we could really figure this out. things already turn out somewhat complete in my timeline. imagine what could happen if you and i managed to do more in building this place.
John: do you really think i could add that much more to it?
(John): i know you can.
John: huh...well, if i have to start with one thing...
John then looked at his phone.
John: want to take a photo together?
(John): oh, sure. why not?
John glanced at the picture of his older self, smiling shakily as he slung an arm over his younger self's shoulder, with a soft smile. Looking at the picture it was... REALLY clear that neither of them were doing okay. But... maybe that was the important thing. To remind him of why he was doing this, he guessed.
John: okay, so we're trying to do something more to help build up the world with everyone else. how?
(John): yeah, that's the hard part of this, i think. what do we even bring to the table? oh man, i think i just remembered part of why my depression got so bad...
John: hey, you're the one who just came here to remind me that our dad wouldn't want us acting like this!
(John): right, you're right. just kind of kicking myself; classic egbert move, right?
John: yeah... well, it's not like everyone's gonna be invested in directly building stuff up, right?
(John): true, from what i remember, dave, jade, and karkat basically sat around doing pretty much nothing.
John: really? karkat and dave i can kind of see, but jade? she's like crazy super smart and stuff!
(John): i think the retcon stuff we had to pull to save everyone and how it left her all alone might've messed her up a bit...
John: okay, adding 'be a less shitty brother to jade' to the list.
(John): we have a list?
John: i mean, might as well, right?
(John): ...what about our piano playing?
John: um, what about it?
(John): well, we never really got super into that with everyone, but... playing on the piano was always really calming. it just made me feel like i could FEEL things better than otherwise. maybe we could do something with that?
John: you mean... be a musician? not a prankster or comedian?
(John): a good joke is great, but if you don't feel funny, it's always gonna fall flat. music... music will always share how you're feeling, and let other people understand that themselves.
John: okay, that's a great point.
As John began adding his notes to the list he'd decided to make, (John) leaned back, staring up into the sky. He... he was pretty sure he could feel it. The way this Retcon was impacting the world around them, and time moving forward. He... didn't think he would survive this. Or rather, he was pretty sure he'd wind up absorbed into this John. He didn't mind the idea of that, honestly. He smiled softly, before grimacing as something came to mind.
(John): okay, i also think we might need to have everyone address gamzee.
John: him? why would we need to address anything about HIM!?
(John): i know he's dangerous and crazy, but that's kind of why we need to address him.
(John): like, i'm pretty sure the only reason we were able to keep him docile was because of vriska.
(John): and given everything that karkat and the others mentioned about the kind of crazy shit he got up to and how he somehow wound up at that creep caliborn's side, i don't wanna trust that we can just leave him locked up indefinitely.
John: okay, that's fair. and as creepy as he is... honestly, the idea of just leaving a guy stuck forever in a fridge is really uncomfortable.
(John): right?! like, i know why we did it the first time, but still!
John: so messed up. so... we just bring it up to everyone and see what the plan ends up being?
(John): makes sense to me.
John: okay, so what else do you think we should do?
(John): hmm... i think you should keep an eye on jane and dirk...
John: sure! but why?
(John): i don't know if it was because of crazy timeline bullshit or something else.
(John): but i don't think winding up alone and disconnected from everyone was good for either of them. especially not jane.
John: what, did she fall in with a bad crowd or something?
(John): ...
John: oh man...
John: okay, keeping an eye on those two and making sure they don't end up alone, got it.
(John): honestly, maybe extend that to keeping an eye on everyone, but mark those two as like, special attention or something?
(John): it really feels like we all just let ourselves drift apart, and... i think it was getting worse before i came back, you know?
John: no problem. honestly, hanging out with everyone... might do me some good too, with everything.
(John): and you know things would get better if you do. just imagine all the fun you could have. all the pranks you could pull, all the games you could play, all the movies you could all watch together!
John: yeah...hell yeah! alright, i don't know what's gonna happen to you, future me, but i'm gonna make things right!
John: let's gooooooo!
(John) watched himself as he flew off towards the meteor. He looked at himself for a moment. He wondered if this was the part where he was meant to fade away. He poked himself. Hmm. Still solid. That said, given how Retcons work, SOMETHING is supposed to happen to him. Perhaps he could just try to teleport to back where he was, but that would undo this, wouldn't it? Or would it? He recalled teleporting into future points of the timeline where he helped saved Vriska and that didn't solve anything. Maybe he'll just teleport to where this timeline would lead and then he'll fade out. Only one way to find out.
*POP*
With his future self gone, John immediately flew into the Meteor. He could already see some of his friends already exploring it. It was already very familiar to most of them, namely Dave, Karkat, Terezi, and so forth, but Jade felt unfamiliar. In fact, John ended up focusing on her first.
John: hey, jade!
Jade: oh hey john! i take it youre excited about going through the meteor too?
John: i mean, yeah, but that's not what i was thinking. after we figure out what to do about building the planet, do you want to like...hang out?
Jade blinked at this. She didn't know why, but her ears twitched excitedly at the thought.
Jade: are you sure youd want that?
John: of course i do! we got some long overdue sessions on ghostbusters 2 mmo to get through after all!
Jade: oh wow! i mean i havent played that in a while but i could go for that!
John: yeah and we could do it at your place! we could alchemize some snacks and wed be good to go!
Jade: ill definitely think on it! thanks for the offer though john!
John: you're welcome! i'll see you later!
Jade: byyye!
John would float away, but as he looked back, he would see that Jade was doing little jumps of excitement. She was trying to hold it in, but John smiled as he just now realized that this is the first time he saw Jade...or well, this version of Jade be this excited. If this is just one change he could bring, who knows what else he could change. As if on cue, he bumped into Jane.
Jane: Oof! Hey, watch where you're going!
John: oh, sorry, nanna-er-jane! jeez, i thought i got over that.
Jane patted her own face.
Jane: I mean...I don't have wrinkles on me, don't I? Oh shucks, do I have wrinkles?
John: oh, no! you look great! i guess it's just now that i realized that besides roxy, i haven't had the chance to hang out with you and the others.
Jane: Come to think of it, yeah, it seems like Roxy and Jake are the main two getting everyone's attention. I mean, it's weird that Dirk's not getting much attention, but I can see why not many people wouldn't pay me much time. It's not like i have much to offer...
Jane started to look down. John would feel a tremor go through himself as he watched this. He could see a layer of sadness within Jane, a far cry from how jovial she was as his Nanna. At this rate, with what his future self said, that bad crowd may be coming soon. John had to do something.
John: hey, don't say that about yourself! you got a whole bunch of stuff to offer and it's not just because roxy said that! i know this because you did a lot as my nanna! i mean, from what roxy told me, i did a bunch of weird stuff as your poppop, but you still helped a lot.
Jane: You really think so?
John: yeah, like the egbert family has pranks in its dna thanks to you! well, you and sassacre, but you did a lot of the heavy lifting to help my dad learn the prankster's gambit to the point where he passed it down to me!
Jane: Well, I do suppose it would be fun to teach some pranks. That said, I can't really say I'm not into that. Do you think maybe, I should...try investing in baking-?
John: no.
Jane: What? But I love baking! Are you saying I shouldn't try to make a living off of that!?
John: oh, it's not that i'm saying you shouldn't bake! it's just...maybe you're better off if you don't try to make it into a business.
Jane: Well, what else could I do?
John: hmmm...tell you what? once we get everything here started, we'll plan things out! hell, i could try and help you bake while we figure things out! uh...can we bake some cookies, though? i know it's weird, but i haven't gotten over the cake rampage that happened during my thirteenth birthday.
Jane paused for a moment and as she had the mental image of John being surrounded by a bunch of rampaging layered cakes, she couldn't help but giggle.
Jane: Well, it would be awfully nice to have someone with me in the kitchen! It's been a short while since Roxy helped with the baking and who knows if Jake or Dirk would be willing to help?
John: hey, i'm sure jake could help plenty and about dirk, maybe he could help us figure out exact measurements?
Jane: Hmm...you know what? He would relish such a challenge, wouldn't he?
Dirk: I would relish what now?
The two started, mutual Heart Clench Combo's unleashing as they fell victim to Dirk's epic Suburban Rap Ninja skills. A most excellently deployed prankster's gambit. They traded appraising glances, before giving the stunt the applause it deserved.
Dirk: Thanks, but seriously. What are you guys talking about?
Jane: We were just talking about doing some baking together. Even if it's a bit convoluted because of all this blasted ectobiology, we are family.
John: and we were wondering if you and jake might want to get on it? i think you'd be a whiz at getting those exactly perfect measurements down.
Dirk: Me AND Jake? I appreciate the offer, but... I dunno, shit's been awkward.
Jane: Ah, because of the breakup? Yes, I suppose that... would be a damper on things...
John: well, it's not like the two of you have to bake together to start with. it's not like jane's only gonna be baking this one time and stopping forever.
John: it just, i dunno, feels like it'd be a nice way for you guys to stay connected.
John: i know that when jade and i were on the journey here... it felt really miserable at times because rose and dave weren't around. like something was just, you know, missing from us.
John: i just really don't want you guys to go through that too, now that we've won, you know?
Dirk: I think I get it. Or at least have a more concrete idea than you yourself seem to.
John: guilty as charged!
Dirk: And... even if he hurt me, it's not like I wasn't hurting him too. Even apart, he's still one of my best friends... fuck it, let's do this. We're gonna bake the best treats this new world has ever seen, hands down.
Jane: That's the spirit!
John smiled, watching as Jane and Dirk just started palling around, and started calling over a nervous Jake to talk it over... and how Jake's self-conscious slowly began to fade as they started talking to him about what they had in mind. It had felt... wrong, seeing him trying so hard not to look miserable. But seeing him there, with that Classic Harley, or English in his case, smile on his face... it was nice.
He breathed deep. Okay... now for the tricky part. He moved over to where Dave, Karkat, Rose, and Kanaya were talking things over, with Roxy and Calliope chatting between themselves slightly off to the side. He felt so insanely awkward even TRYING to talk about this... but what could he do? This really did need to be addressed.
John: hey guys, you got a second? i think we kinda need to talk about something.
Kanaya: Well We Do Have Quite A Bit Of Planning To Get To On What We Are Going To Do In This New Earth
Rose: Indeed, Kanaya and I are planning to get to work hatching the Matriorb to help the newly seeded Troll Race begin reproducing more naturally going forward.
Karkat: WHAT NO ONE IS TRYING TO SAY TO YOUR FACE EGBERT IS THAT ONCE AGAIN YOU HAVE DISCOVERED A PROFOUND TALENT FOR STATING THE FUCKING OBVIOUS! NO SHIT WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING!! WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT A LOT OF SOMETHINGS!! SO IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING SPECIFIC THEN QUIT TRYING TO BEND US OVER TO PLAY THAT GROSS HUMAN MATING RITUAL AND JUST SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!?
John: well... what are we gonna do about gamzee?
Dave: what do you mean whatre we gonna do about him hes gone now aint he?
Kanaya: No No I Do Believe That Finally Addressing The Problem He Represents Is A Splendid Idea
Karkat: WELL FUCK MY WASTE CHUTE WITH A RUSTY STABBING IMPLEMENT AND CHURN UP THE RESULTING BLOOD SPLATTER INTO A GRUB SMOOTHIE, YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY FOUND THE MOST AWKWARD POSSIBLE CONVERSATION TOPIC EGBERT, GOOD JOB!!
Rose: I must admit some... apprehension on why you've chosen now to address this, John.
John: yeah, i dunno it just feels really, really wrong to just keep him stuck in that fridge.
John: i get why we did it, he's dangerous and crazy and all... but i'm pretty sure it only really even worked because we had vriska around, and she's not around anymore.
John: and with all the crazy stuff you guys have talked about him being capable of and the fact that i saw him hanging out with who i'm pretty sure is young lord english in the future...
John: i really don't think that just keeping him locked up perpetually is even an option, honestly?
John: so that's my question; what are we gonna do about gamzee?
John winced as the metaphorical bomb he'd lobbed at the group landed. Kanaya had a cold, quiet look on her face as she struggled to master her expression into something not... murderously violent, while Karkat looked just utterly miserable. As if John had singled him out on his birthday to wish him an Un-happy Birthday song before informing him that all the preparations for his Birthday had been stolen by other kids to spruce up THEIR parties and the stores had nothing left to make up the difference with. Dave and Rose... just looked uncomfortable, glancing towards one another as they silently compared the reactions of the two Trolls. And Roxy and Calliope had both stopped chatting, with Calliope watching their group intently.
Kanaya: I Believe The Solution Is Obvious
Kanaya: Makara Has Evaded Punishment For His Crimes Long Enough And If Confinement Is No Longer Viable Then Only One Punishment Remains
Kanaya: Execution
Rose: Kanaya... are you certain you want to go that far?
Kanaya: I Have Never Been More Sure Of Anything Short Of Dating You My Love
Karkat: I... I DUNNO WHAT TO EVEN SAY ABOUT THIS. HE IS, OR WAS, MY BEST FRIEND. I FUCKING TRIED TO KEEP HIM CALM, TO BE A TRADITIONAL MOIRAIL FOR HIM, BUT IT'S LIKE NOTHING I FUCKING DID REGISTERED LONG TERM!! I DON'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW IF HE'D EVEN PRETEND TO LISTEN TO ME ANYMORE.
Karkat: HOW THE FUCK WOULD WE EVEN KEEP A GUY LIKE THAT UNDER CONTROL!?
Karkat: I REALLY DON'T WANT TO AGREE WITH KANAYA ON THIS, BUT... MAYBE-?
Calliope: U-Um, pardon me! if i might interject on this matter?
Everyone froze, glancing to where the Cherub girl had planted herself next to them, Roxy placing a hand on her shoulder supportively. Calliope glanced up towards Roxy with a warm smile, before swallowing.
Calliope: i am aware that gamzee is the soUrce of many ill feelings among yoUr groUp.
Calliope: i woUld ordinarily say it is not my place to intervene bUt... i think we shoUld give gamzee another chance?
Karkat: OKAY, WEIRD CHERUB GIRL THAT I STILL DON'T KNOW THAT WELL, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? YOU MEAN JUST, WHAT, LETTING HIM GO!?
Kanaya: I Must Also Protest This
Calliope: this world is a fresh start for all of Us, to be the things that the natUre of the game meant we never coUld be.
Calliope: and for all the havoc he caUsed, gamzee himself was bUt a pawn in that game, filling the role he was shaped to occUpy.
Calliope: in the end, he lost. or rather, his role has been fUlfilled. shoUld he really not get the chance to become more than what the game deemed he coUld be?
Karkat: ...
Kanaya:
John: i don't have a problem with it.
Karkat: EGBERT-!!
John: but... if we do this... he's your responsibility.
Calliope: mine?
John: yeah. like, none of us... really like or trust gamzee anymore. we can't just set him loose and expect him to behave.
John: so if you want to do this, you have to be the one watching him, getting him to behave, and trying to fix his broken brain.
John: because none of the rest of us want anything to do with him like that.
calliope: i Understand, and i shan't let yoU down!
Calliope: ...thank yoU. for believing in me.
Karkat: UGH, I CANNOT BELIEVE I'M ACTUALLY CONSIDERING THIS... BUT IF YOU ACTUALLY THINK YOU CAN GET THROUGH TO THAT LUNATIC... PLEASE.
Kanaya: I Do Not Like Or Trust This
Kanaya: But If You Are Insistent Then I Shall Spare My Words
Kanaya: Just Keep Him Out Of My Way