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Realistically, Tim knew what was happening, he wasn’t stupid. It made a lot of sense given how much damage has come to his neck, that he would be wary of anything getting too close to it. Which sucked, because now Tim can’t wear a tie for more than an hour without needing to take a break and ride through a panic attack. Tim knew that psychologically speaking, his mind and body are just trying to keep itself safe, but still, it’s fucking annoying.
There is a long list of things that have royally fucked Tim’s throat up. Screaming, especially if being tortured for long periods, messes with your vocal cords. Strangulation, always a fun one to feel your airways being forcefully closed with a humongous hand crush your trachea. Jason slitting his throat, he’s playing that up a tad, but still he has a scar because of it, and finally the bullet that went through the back of his neck and out through the front. That wasn’t a pleasant experience and he is honestly shocked he can still talk.
Admittedly he does strain himself if he talks for too long or too loudly. He avoids it as often as he can. He also avoids anyone coming close to his neck. He hates it when Dick, Jason, or even Steph sling an arm over his shoulder, or if they decide to headlock him for whatever reason. If he sees them bracing for it he evades and changes the form of contact.
He never wanted to tell his family or friends about this. They all went through similar situations and they were fine. Even though the bullet through the neck was a bit more recent… He just wanted things to go back to normal and for him to stop being so hyper vigilant of his neck. It was a tiresome task. But it was working, so much so that he even started to let his guard down slightly.
When he was learning how to drive with Bruce, who was being a complete ass about his car (he’s rich and Tim is too, if he crashed they could pay to get it fixed), he had failed to realize Damian was behind him. That was until he felt the sharp bite of cold water hitting the back of his neck, the little brat used the jet setting on the hose so it stung a bit more. Dread pools in his stomach while his brain starts to move by itself. Without thinking he holds his hand against his neck to keep himself from bleeding out. His breath hitches and he tries to calm his breathing as his hearing turns to static around him. He stares at the ground in front of him as he processes what happened.
After a few minutes when the ringing and adrenaline subsides, he drops his hand from his neck. He can feel his shoulders pull up towards his ears, and the heat rising to his face. Of course, he didn’t get shot again, but the thought makes the knot in his stomach lessen. He blinks a few times, his gaze lands on Bruce and Alfred with worried looks, and Damian who looks unbothered but his small tells show he is confused and the downturn of his lips mixed with the slight furrow of his brow show worry and maybe even guilt. Despite their rocky start, they have been getting along recently. Tim had always wanted a younger sibling, he felt better knowing Damian hadn’t planned this to actually scare him.
“Sorry, I freaked out there. I’m fine now.” The silence was heavy. He hated as they stared at him trying to come up with a response.
“Was the reaction to the water a result of your neck injury from a few months prior, master Tim?” Alfred, the ever-knowing man, asked. Tim nodded, he didn’t want to explain it or even talk about it more than he had to.
“I’m going to change and also take a break, is that alright, B?” He doesn’t want an answer as he turns around and heads back inside the manor. He felt crawling in his skin as the last of the anxiety refused to leave. He needed a moment to himself to calm down. To remind himself that he wasn’t shot through the throat, that he wasn’t dying, that he could still talk, that he survived, and that he wasn’t a disappointment to Bruce.
He slips into his room and closes the door behind him. Sliding down to the floor with his back against the hardwood. His head hangs low as he brings his knees up towards his chest. Breathing shallowly as he presses his hand against the scar tissue on his neck. He can feel the slight rise of skin and knows it is definitely a little red from irritation. He sits there for who knows how long before he’s calm down enough. Standing and drifting mindlessly to the bathroom attached to his bedroom, he grabs a towel and dries off his hair and the back of his neck before turning back into his room and changing his clothes. He slips on a softer, more comfortable shirt with a lower neckline and a pair of sweats. Moving to his bed and flopping down on his face, Tim lies there blankly for a while before a knock at the door jolts him back to reality.
He looks up at the door and sees Damian peaking in. He looks pensive but clearly trying to put up an indifferent facade.
“What’s up, Dami?” Tim asks once their stating contest goes on for too long.
“I wanted to apologize for earlier. I did not mean to trigger you and cause you to have a flashback.” He fidgets with the hem of his shirt and Tim can’t help but smile softly as he holds out his arms.
“Thanks Dames, I know you were only trying to mess around. Now come here.” Tim waits for Damian to process what he said and tries to find a lie. Once he’s determined that Tim won’t try anything he shuffles into his hug.
“Just try to stay away from my neck next time, would ya?” Tim says after a long moment that the two are still hugging. He can feel Damian nod against his chest and he smiles.