Chapter Text
I hate Darry, I hate him, I hate him! All I could think about as I ran from the house was how badly I hated Darry. A hollow feeling was growing in my stomach, and my heart felt like it was being pulled downwards. I tried my hardest to ignore the hot tears, hearteningly spilling from my eyes and slipping out. I should just run out and leave this god damn town, it's not like Darry would care. I bet he’d like it to, I bet he’d be glad. I had made my way to the vacant lot when I spotted Johnny sitting there, knees hugged tightly to his chest. He glanced up at me with his big brown eyes. He had bruises all over him, and they were bad. His face was cut up badly. A bit of blood was dripping out of the cuts on his face. I slumped down next to him. I couldn’t bear to look at his face, it made a bigger pit in my stomach form. It wasn’t fair. I didn’t deserve this and he didn’t deserve it. Johnny was only sixteen, he didn’t deserve any of this.
“I hate this.” I spat out coldly and glared down at the pavement. It was dark outside and freezing Johnny and I were shivering as we sat there. I tried my hardest to not cry. I hate it when I cry. Johnny slowly took off his jacket wincing with every movement as he gave it to me. There were even more all over his body. Miscolored nasty bruises, and welts on his skin. It was sickening as I watched it I felt like throwing up. They were fresh and swollen. I could feel the acid creeping up my throat.
Johnny glanced down. He looked smaller then usual as he held him self. I could see swollen cuts on his wrists ranging rom day old to minutes old, they were deep and messy. I had to swallow my own vomit. It was horrible. I let out a shuddering breath, my eyes were watering. I reached out towards him and huddled closer to him gulping.
His blade clattered out onto the silver pavement. It was speckled with little crimson droplets. Johnny glanced down keeping his eyes down.
“Why?!” I croaked out. It must’ve been louder than I intended because Johnny flinched back like a scared puppy; his eyes were shaky. It made my stomach lurch, and the sense of sadness in me was getting bigger.
“Feels good…” Johnny mumbles quietly. I felt my heart pull apart, and I couldn’t stop the tears from trickling out. I pulled him closer to me. He was small in my arms.
“You’re crying…” Johnny muttered out how voice is strained. He reached up to wipe a few of my tears away. Darry’s words are still running through my head. “Do you ever use your brain!?” I can’t tell if I was crying because of that or because of Johnny. I think it was both, honestly. I just hugged Johnny tighter as I sobbed out. I can hear him start to cry a little two.
The wind blows past us, reminding me how cold it was outside. I don’t know how Johnny stands to sleep out here all the damn time, but if I lived in a house like his, I think I’d sleep out here too.
Johnny and I just kind of sat there crying silently.