Chapter Text
There were two things that stayed in his mind the longer Illuga was in the hospital.
First, was the amnesiac spell that had taken over his recent memory.
The bedrest he had been pushed into did nothing to ease the ache in his mind whenever he tried to recall what had happened. Each attempt was only met with more unease and fleeting images.
And with it all, only two images struck his mind. A vivid pink moon, and raindrops falling.
Indecipherable things, with no meaning apart from the cold feeling they brought to his chest.
The second oddity was the lack of a blue-haired gentleman by his side.
Of course, he hadn’t expected Flins to remain by his bedside the entire time he recovered (he pushed away the thoughts that yearned for the image of waking up to Flins at all), but what worried him was the fact that he hadn’t shown himself yet.
It wasn’t wrong of him to assume that they had a close relationship—he hadn’t spent all this time taking Flins out for them to not get closer—and the lack of his presence entirely left a cold feeling in his chest.
He had been awake for five days, and in the hospital for two weeks. On the visitor log sheet, among the names of his friends, a familiar, cursive writing was nowhere to be seen.
His friends had dropped by whenever they could.
Ineffa and Aino, who had made krumkakes for him.
Lauma, who came into town to wish him well.
Jahoda, whose metal arm nearly broke his when she squeezed too hard and Nefer just behind her, a worried and contemplative look on her face.
Even Aedon sat by the window every day, and Illuga was grateful for the nurse who let him in to settle in his lap and peck at his fingers.
But never Flins.
Five days turned into ten, and even when he was finally cleared to walk carefully (Jahoda had come to help, and Nefer was very enthusiastic to smack that into his head), Flins never came.
It wasn’t as if Flins didn’t know, with all that had happened. Of the few things he could say with certainty, it was that he was with Flins before the incident occurred, and one of the first things Jahoda had told him was her own memory of the night.
‘I could not believe my eyes- I wouldn’t have known it was Flins if I didn’t catch the hairpin you gave him! I didn’t even see you- but I saw blood and thought he was injured so I ran after him.
I had to run all the way across town! It didn’t make sense that he could still move that fast but when I asked the desk guy if he had checked in, instead of Flins he said that it was you being treated.
I didn’t get to see you until hours after, but when they finally let me in-…
…Never do that again. Neither you nor I know what you did but don’t! Do it! Again!’
He knew his job was dangerous, but he never truly understood it as such. Being a safety officer was something he associated with helping people, and very rarely, that involved subduing others. He had scars on his body from mishaps over the years, but he never knew of something he couldn’t handle by himself or with others before.
The large scar that was sure to mar his body would be his new reminder of that.
When he had first looked in the mirror, it was hard to reconcile the image he was faced with. Heavy bags remained under his eyes, regardless of how much he had been sleeping recently. His skin was much paler and bruised, and his neck to torso down was swaddled with bandages.
He faintly wondered how big the gash was underneath, how discoloured the scar would be, and whether it would affect his ability to move, but he shook the thoughts away.
Both he and Jahoda had squinted their eyes at the mirror, until she brightened and dashed away, returning just as quickly. ‘Here-’
He felt a weight on his ear, and when he looked back up, a familiar red jewel adorned the left side of his face. ‘They had to take it off when they were disinfecting you or something.’ Her lips quirked, and his lifted in turn.
‘Thanks.’ His voice was lower now, a slight rasp following his words that didn’t go away after the first few days, but Jahoda grinned all the same.
‘No problem! One step closer to getting out of here!’
It was day twelve, when she pointed towards the nightstand and asked, ‘Do you have any idea what this is for? I’m 99% sure Flins left it, given its whole… everything. What’dya think?’
Illuga could only agree. The silver metal framing the lantern shone as familiar as the accessories speckled along Flins’ clothing, and the unique, blue flame that shone within matched an image in his mind that he could place with certainty, yet couldn’t quite recall.
It was one of the first things he had noticed when he woke, the flame flickering in nameless patterns during the day and dimming down at night. The sight was comforting, but the thoughts it brought on were not.
Where was he? Was he okay? Why hadn’t he visited-
Day after day, from fifteen to twenty, when he was finally allowed to walk on his own (as if the others would allow that), he had begun visiting the courtyard to give that poor nurse a break from Aedon dashing by and scaring him every day.
He spoke slowly, adjusting to his own body and praying silently. ‘If you find Mr. Flins… stay with him for a while and give him company.’
Having much time to think and collect his thoughts, it occurred to him. The hospital was quite a crowded place, and indeed one of the furthest places in Nasha Town from Flins’ home. It must be out of his ability to visit Illuga at the moment, and that was okay. That was the reason Illuga had begun meeting with Flins in the first place, after all.
Flins must be quite lonely, with Illuga injured and unable (unallowed) to visit him. Illuga spoke the wish once more, petting through Aedon's feathers. ‘Keep him company, maybe try to push him into going out with you.’
He ignored the ache in his chest.
Day after day, Aedon returned, with no change to his routine or attitude.
Day after day, Illuga came to accept that apart from the lantern that remained on his nightstand and the frostlamp flower which stood by the windowsill, that Flins wouldn’t come.
That was alright, he knew about Flins’ aversion to coming into town, this was understandable.
His chest felt tight, and he preferred to blame it on the bandages wrapped around him.
There wasn’t much to do while waiting to recover besides ruminating on his thoughts. He was left with much more time than he was used to and nothing to do besides think. He had assumed sleeping would be a reprieve, and yet,
Chills struck through his bones, pinpricks stabbing his numb skin and rendering him unable to move. He was unable to breathe with no reason why, except the faint feeling of a weightlessness to his chest and being jostled around. Echoes rebounded in his ears, but the words twisted into meaningless screams, leaving him only with painful noise.
A vivid pink moon, and raindrops falling.
A vivid pink moon, and raindrops-
A vivid pink moon, and teardrops-
A vivid pink moon-
The colour was piercing, and so deeply removed from anything he would consider ordinary. The image alone shouldn’t have meant anything, who had ever heard of a pink moon?
But then… why did the very thought of gazing at it once more scare him?
Fear, fright. When was the last time Illuga had truly felt such things?
He was intimately familiar with the sight of it on other people, whether over small inconveniences or dangerous events, but on himself? He couldn’t recall the last time he had been afraid, and perhaps that’s why whatever had happened scared him so deeply.
He was with Flins before, and he had been injured somehow. That was important. Had they been separated somehow? Was Flins also injured and Jahoda hadn’t noticed- no, surely not.
Illuga had never purposefully avoided being around people on his own, but the whispers that he began catching from people passing by grated on his ears.
‘How did Illuga end up in here? I haven’t heard of any major incidents recently.’
‘Did you hear? People saw a trail of blood leading from the forest to here!’
‘There are so many people talking about it- I hope Illuga’s okay, but I just wonder…’
‘Where is Flins?’
‘I’ve never seen him around unless he’s with Illuga. Not that I care- it’s just, I swear none of us knew about him until Illuga brought him in.’
‘He doesn’t live in Nasha Town, nobody knows where.’
‘He’s just so… unsettling. I don’t know why Illuga keeps hanging around him.’
‘I wonder why he hasn’t visited yet? He seems quite attached to Illuga, and gentle too…’
‘Maybe, but… we don’t really know him, after all.’
‘Whatever Illuga was trying to do with him must have backfired, and that’s why he hasn’t shown up.’
They were hushed words from people passing by, carelessly spoken and something he shouldn’t care about.
But the very thought made his hands shake, and he almost curled into himself, instead digging his hands into the bench.
They didn’t know him. They had probably only heard of Flins through whispers and rumours.
What gave them the right to speak on Flins at all? To even suggest that Flins would do anything that would hurt him-
Aedon's wing flapped over his hands, and Jahoda huffed, shooting a stink eye toward the open door before linking her arm with Illuga’s. ‘Idiots. Come on, let’s go get drinks or something. Ineffa should be coming by later today, and hopefully she’ll manage to sneak the gift we’ve been trying to bring you in.’
She hurried him to the opposite side of the courtyard, pushing open the doors and guiding him along. He managed a small smile at her words, but a thorny sensation still clung to his chest.
Flins… where are you?
He caught the stuttered, quiet rambles that left her mouth, angrily gesturing and cursing out the people who had passed by earlier, and he couldn’t stop the huffed laughter that left his mouth.
When Ineffa and Aino came by later, a confused smile took over his face when the young girl threw a giant fish plushie at him. Jahoda’s expression widened dramatically, and a million expressions passed over her face at once as she gestured at Ineffa and Aino.
‘You look confused.’
‘I am confused! What gave you the idea-’
‘You said a fish, Jahoda. We got him a fish!’
‘Indeed. You never specified, so I bought the first fish we found, alongside the other items we were picking up.’
‘I meant food guys! Food! What’s his favourite dish? FISH. THE FOOD.’
‘A fish plushie is way cooler.’ Aino huffed, walking over to squish the tail. ‘I know Illuga agrees.’ Jahoda’s incredulous rambling was cut short by the smile on his face as he held the toy, and she buried her face in her hands.
A month after he first woke, and just over six weeks after he was first admitted, he was released. He was well enough to manage himself, and his friends had made plans for a celebratory dinner, giving him enough time to head home first and rest.
Amid the countless things that had built up in his head over the past few weeks, one clear thought prevailed.
Illuga bid farewell to his friends and made off toward the railway, a silver ringed lantern attached to his hip and a clear destination in his mind.