Chapter Text
Miraculous ladybug(™) the super heroine sighed and sniffled deeply as she looked out over the city. She had had an Excellent victory today over the evil villain Le Fromagereurer, an angry cheese connoisseur with a stutter who had tried to turn all of paris into cheese…….. piece. by. piece. And yet despite her fulfilling life, her rad powers and her Totally Hot bodysuit that made her butt look great………
The renowned miraculous ladybug was deeply, deeply sad to her very heart.
‘Ah, tikki, je suis triste,’ she whispered, because she was french, before remembering that of Course tikki was totally hiding up inside her earrings right now. What a fool she was being! if only tikki was here to hear her sigh her sadness…….
If only somebody understood
her life seemed perfect. Too perfect. little did her Hundreds of Fans know that she was brim full of
unrequited love
The subject of her unrequited love was none other than this totally hot boy in ladybug’s class at school. thats right ladies and gentlemen the heroine of paris was still totally in school. get rekt ladybug haters you’re bein beat up by a fifteen-year-old girl. But anyway this totally hot boy was like, so nice , and he was totally a model and he spoke, like, SIX languages, and he did fencing and he was so nice and
Ladybug sniffled.
‘What are you yowling about, my Lady?’ said a voice behind her. Ladybug nearly jumped off the rooftop she was sitting on. but of course, it was none other than her Good Friend, Just-Friend, and Completely Platonic Partner……..
C H A T N O I R .
‘oh shit, it’s you!’ ladybug phewed. ‘You frightened me, chat noir.’
‘You really do look a bit purrrrrr thetic sitting by yourself,’ the hot man-god said grandly. Ladybug was so annoyed! She stared at his perfect hair and beautiful green eyes and wished that he would leave her alone and take his tight leather suit and his perfect butt with him.
‘What are YOU doing here, chat noir?!’ ladybug said. Hastily she wiped away the tears from her eyes. nobody must know she had feelings.
‘come on,’ said chat noir, smirking. (ladybug smirked back but just a little bit. wouldn’t want him to get the wrong idea.) ‘you can tell me, ladybug. are you by any chance crying about how you’re secretly in love with me because tbh that’d be really great not that i’m in love with you or anything ha ha ha…’
Ladybug stared at her friend. Chat Noir turned his head quickly to look at the sunset and fake act all nonchalant.
Well… Chat Noir was her friend. Maybe she could tell him. Not the specifics that would be too dangerous- BUT.
NEVERTHE LESS.
ladybug would like to talk about it.
‘It’s a little silly,’ she admitted, looking at her lady-spotted toes as they dangled 300 feet in the air. Did i mention the ‘rooftop’ was the top of the arc de triomphe ‘cos it WAs. ladybug and chat noir were just fuckin chillin on the roof of the arc de triomphe pretending like the traffic wasn’t staring at them as they had their little deep and meaningful. That’s just the kind of shit superheroes do ok.
But anyway ‘no, no, i’m pawsitive it’s not!’ said chat noir earnestly. He grabbed one of her hands to be extra platonical and supportive and friendly and not romantic at all. ‘Im sure its very impurrtant to you, my lady, and if it is impurrtant to you it is impurrtant to me.’
Ladybug facepalmed. (with the hand noir was holding before so she just kind of. Hit herself with chat noir’s hand but like im sure the gesture was appreciated) ‘chat noir’
‘...Yes?’
‘Pls stop with the fucken puns for like two seconds i’m baring my soul here goddamn’
Chat Noir’s ears drooped. ‘That’s fair. So what is this terrible secret that upsets the protector of Paris?’
Ladybug took a deep breath. ‘There is this… boy, chat noir. His hair looks kind of stupid but i know i could work past that if he styled it differently, and he has lovely eyes, and he is kind and funny….’ she sniffled - she had not thought talking would make her so emotional - ‘and i don’t think he will Ever like me like i do him. It is a little crushing. I am feeling it tonight, i guess.’ she wiped her eyes on chat noir’s tail. Chat noir looked vaguely affronted.
‘Sorry,’ she said thickly.
‘No, no, it’s… it’s okay,’ chat noir said absently. ‘I understand.’
Truly, he did, for chat noir was in love with none other than the beautiful lady Bug herself. How could he not be when she had such a perfect butt?
‘What is his name, ladybug?’ chat noir asked. He wasn’t sure what he was thinking, only that he wanted to know. ‘Purrhaps i can… try to convince him how great you are?’
Ladybug considered. was there any harm in telling him? adrien was famous and shit. He was a real life model had she mentioned that yet? Any girl from all over the city could be in love with him, so there was no real risk to telling him! Right?
Besides, ladybug was enjoying all the soul-baring she was doing. It felt cleansing.
‘His name is….’ ladybug took Another deep breath. How well-ventilated she was tonight.
‘His name is adrien agreste.’
Chat noir fell off the roof.