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Nothing has been going right lately.
It had been minor things at first.
At one of the warehouses, Lighter accidentally placed crates in the wrong shelves, resulting in him having to transport them to the correct ones. Lucy did tell him off, but she shrugged afterwards since it hadn’t affected anything other than his time, and they eventually laughed it off.
The next, forgetting to pick up a shipment, which delayed their work by a couple of hours. Caesar simply told him it was alright, everyone knew he could be forgetful and it wasn’t anything too important. They were able to make up the time difference.
Just minor issues, none of which raised any flags.
Up until it did start affecting him.
When mislabelled crates resulted in a delay that almost cost them a hefty commission, the piles of reports that hadn’t been worked on which left them scrambling to finish up the paperwork before inspection, the increasing amount of mishaps that occurred due to his sudden negligence.
Many were starting to worry, and so did Lighter.
He wasn’t sure what was going on, nothing he did was going the way that it should. It was as if his touch had become cursed, a series of unlucky streaks that laid problem after problem for everyone else.
Although they tried to assure them it may have just been a bad week, how it happens to the best of them, it only served to leave him anxious.
And then it happened, his worst nightmare becoming reality.
“Caesar!!”
He heard Lucy scream, Burnice and Pulchra scrambling to cover for them as the young blonde went to recover their wounded leader alongside Piper. It all happened too fast; a grunt sneaking up on him, poised to slash him at his blind spot when Caesar had pushed him aside to bear the brunt of the attack.
They had to retreat, carrying Caesar to her feet as they ran for their vehicles. Lucy taking charge, quick to place their leader in Steeltusk whilst the others tried their best to fend off anyone chasing after them.
Throughout all that, Lighter felt numb.
His feet refused to move the way it did, his punches too heavy even for him, nothing going through his mind other than the blood splattered across him.
Not of his own, but someone else.
Someone close to him.
Everything was a blur afterwards, going through the motions of Lucy’s commands. Once Blazewood came in sight and they were able to rush first aid for their Calydon leader, it all came rushing to Lighter at that very moment and he had to step outside, hurling his guts out at what had occurred.
He was hyperventilating, anxiety-stricken and guilt-ridden.
Someone was injured because of him.
Someone had almost died because of him.
All because of him.
Him.
“Just fuck off and LEAVE ME ALONE!”
By the time he snapped out of his dark thoughts, the girls stood in front of him with wide eyes and gaping mouths, stunned in silence.
What did he just say?
Why was everyone looking at him?
He looks at his own hands, gloves stained in dried blood and dirt, his vision becoming blurry from the light and queasy from emptying his guts earlier.
Without another word, he turned around and ran off before anyone else could approach him, their calls deaf to his ears.
His feet carried him back to his house, the only sanctuary he had.
From there, he locked himself up.
Ignored all knocks and rings of his door, left calls unanswered and messages unread, never leaving his barely decorated hovel he called home.
As if Lighter Lorenz had disappeared completely from their lives.
Lighter didn’t know how long it’s been since he last talked to anyone afterwards, night and day passing through his window like a blur.
The visits stopped, his phone died so he hadn’t received anything in a while.
Maybe everyone finally gave up.
Right before he figured he was finally going to waste away into nothingness, he heard it.
A soft rap to his door.
Just like before, Lighter was going to ignore it, knowing they’ll give up again eventually. At least, until he heard a familiar voice.
“Lighter? It’s me, Wise.”
Now he was sitting up straight, staring at the door incredulously.
Wise was here.
But why?
After what feels like forever, Lighter gets off his couch and slowly makes his way over to his door, hesitantly reaching for the knob to open it. The door creaks open, the light from outside blinding his vision until it settles and he sees the glimmer of silver strands and teal ocean-like eyes.
“Hey, Lighter.” Wise greets him as he smiles.
“Proxy…?” His voice sounded hoarse, coughing.
“Yeah, it’s me.” The other responds, peering into the slightly ajar door, “Can I come in? Please?”
Lighter didn’t know what compelled him to do so but he stepped aside, opening the door fully to let the proxy into his home. Closing the door behind him, he could see Wise dressed more casually than usual, forgoing his usual jacket and shirts to a more plain shirt fit for the summer weather.
It was unreal to see Wise in his home, wondering how he even knew where he lived.
As if sensing his question, Wise turned to him with a small smile.
“The girls told me everything.” He said, hands behind his back, “So this is where you live.”
Figures they had told him, a little annoyed they had bothered Wise for something like this.
The proxy scanned the room, fiddling with the red scarf laid atop his couch, untouched for who knows how long. His jacket laid beside it, tossed aside and forgotten.
Lighter could see the concern flicker in his eyes, now looking over at him with that worried smile as he picked up the red scarf.
“I’m sorry for the sudden visit, I just… wanted to check up on how you were doing.”
Lighter simply shook his head, grumbling some kind of incoherent response, scratching his head. Wise’s smile died slightly, seeing how dishevelled he had become after closing himself off from everyone.
The young proxy sighed, placing the scarf back down.
“Is everything alright, Lighter?” He asked again, concern etched on his brow, “You know you can tell me anything, I won’t tell anyone.”
“It’s nothing.” Lighter answers, a little too hastily. He grimaced, then sighed.
“There’s nothing to tell, so you should leave, Wise.” He brushes him off, walking past him, “Sorry for making you come all the way here.”
Although he tried to go to his bedroom, Wise grabbed his wrist, keeping him where they stood.
“That doesn’t sound like nothing, though.” Wise kept pushing.
Lighter sighed again, frustration creeping in.
“Seriously, Wise, there’s nothing to say. You should leave.”
He tries to usher him back to the door.
“Now.”
“But Lighter–”
Lighter pulled his wrist back, stepping away from Wise with a pained expression. He didn’t need this right now, unsure why he even let the proxy in when there was nothing he could do.
“There’s nothing here for you, so stop pushing.” He turned away, mumbling under his breath, “Not like you’d understand anyway.”
Something pulls the back of his shirt, glancing back to see it was still Wise, determined to stick around.
Lighter had to applaud him for holding resolute, if it hadn’t bothered the shit out of him.
“Let go and leave. I’m not asking you this again.”
Wise shook his head, “No.”
“Wise–”
“Not until you tell me what’s going on.”
Lighter clicked his tongue, glaring down at him, getting increasingly impatient.
“I told you, there’s nothing! Stop looking for shit when there isn’t any!”
Wise was getting worked up, pulling at his shirt still. He was fuming, refusing to do as he was told.
“It’s not nothing when you won’t talk to anyone, Lighter! I heard you won’t talk to anyone — not Caesar, not Lucy, no one!”
The world was conspiring against him, going against his wishes to be left alone to rot in this dump. Every single person refused to leave him be, including the silver-haired proxy standing in front of him.
It was pissing him off, pushing Wise away from him who stumbled back.
“Get the fuck out.” He growls.
“I swear to fucking whoever, just leave before you make me do something I’ll regret.”
There was a chill in the air. The threat had clearly caught Wise off-guard, this being the first time Lighter had ever been so hostile towards him after how amicable and friendly they had been before.
Despite the threat hanging between them, clearly intimidated out of his wits, Wise shook his head.
“No.”
The room was still, silent enough to hear a pin drop.
“No?” Lighter repeated, his expression darkened.
Wise stood before him.
“No.”
He sighed shakily, Lighter able to see his hands trembling but he held firm nonetheless, with Wise raising his glare back at him.
“I’m worried about you, Lighter. I am.” He pleads, “Please, just talk to me! Anything at all!”
Lighter only shook his head, unable to stand this stupid farce anymore.
“Like I said, there’s nothing! Even if I did, you can’t help me!” Lighter’s voice grew louder. He wanted this conversation to end, to go back to his misery, “I just want to be left alone!”
“But how would you know that I can’t? You should at least let me try to help you!” Appealed Wise.
“Because…” Lighter faltered slightly, shutting his eyes tight and shaking his head, “... because you can’t! It’s not something anyone can do anything about!”
“You won’t know until you try, Lighter!”
“It’s not that simple!”
“What’s not simple? Tell me and I’ll try to help!”
The situation was getting intense, overwhelming him. His anxiety and stress was reaching its peak, his chest heaving with every breath he took.
“You’re not going to enjoy listening to it! It’s my own problem!”
“Then why won’t you tell me anything?!”
“Because you won’t UNDERSTAND IT!”
His explosive shout reverberated across the house, shocking Wise to his core as he flinched. Lighter had never raised his voice before, not to the girls and not to Wise either.
Yet Wise glared at him, fists clenched.
“I can’t understand it because YOU won’t tell me!”
“Because it’s none of your fucking business, Wise!”
“It is my fucking business when you disappear off the face of the earth and stop responding to anyone’s messages!” The younger one countered.
“Oh, cry me a fucking river! So what if I haven’t been talking to anyone, maybe I wanted to be left the fuck alone!” Lighter lashed out, getting all up in the other's face, baring his teeth.
When he tried to walk away, Wise grabbed him by the shirt and forcefully pulled him back with whatever strength he could muster.
“Wanting alone time is one thing, locking yourself up without telling anyone is another thing entirely, Lighter!”
“What are you, my mother?! Don’t you fucking preach to me about this kinda bullshit!” Lighter was raging, grabbing Wise by his wrists to pull his hands off him.
The proxy refused to let go, the fire in his eyes burning and glaring darkly at him, fingers digging into his shirt. This was the first time he had ever seen Wise angry, but that meant nothing when all Lighter wanted was for him to just leave his house.
Wise scowled, pulling him back in.
“Maybe I wouldn’t act like one if you’d stop being such an immature prick!”
“Oh, so now I’m an immature prick? Yeah, real fucking classy there, Wise!”
“Fuck you, Lighter!” Wise cussed at him.
“If you hate me so much, then leave! Don’t let the door hit you on your way out!”
“I’m not leaving your sorry ass!”
“Why the fuck not?!” Lighter scoffed, “What reason could you possibly have in staying here after all this?!”
“Because I love you, you fucking idiot!”
That made him pause, stunned.
“What?”
Tears pricked the corner of Wise’s eyes, his hands shaking as he gripped Lighter’s shirt.
“I’m here because I’m in love with you! Because I can’t stand seeing the man I love be in so much pain and suffering! Because I don’t want to see you hurting all by yourself!”
His hands were balled into tight fists, wrinkling the fabric in his grip. Tears fell and plopped on the wooden floor, staining it dark.
“Do you think I would do all this if I didn’t care? At the very least, I wanted to stay by your side, to make sure you’re alive and well.”
“To not disappear.”
Lighter was rendered speechless, the fight in him slowly leaving his body at this revelation. To see Wise opening his heart, appearing so fragile and vulnerable. The numbness he felt was fading, heartstrings tugged at the sight of Wise’s tears after finding out the young man was crying for his sake.
“How could I leave you when you’re hurting?” Wise tearfully tells him.
“But,” Lighter chokes, his voice quivering, “I was being so harsh to you. Why would you still wanna stay after all the things I said?”
He hiccups, as if words were caught in his throat.
Tear-stricken and pitiful, Wise raised his gaze at him.
“Because I want to stay by your side.”
“Wise…”
The young man’s grip on him loosened, hand sliding down his chest. He seemed so small now, yet tried his best to keep his wits together and insisted on staying put where Lighter was.
“I care about you, Lighter. I care about you so much to not let you destroy yourself like this.”
When had he become so cruel and callous?
For how long had the pain and anxiety numbed him of his empathy?
Reaching out, he pulled the trembling figure into a tight embrace. Both of their legs gave away, sliding down till they were sat on the floor. The quiet sobs and the damp feeling on the front of his shirt left him ridden with guilt.
“I’m sorry, Wise.” He attempts to apologize, unable to forgive himself if he doesn’t, “I’m so, so sorry.”
They held each other for the longest time, room silent except for the sounds of muffled sobs and gentle comfort. Lighter realized how far down he had fallen, to have hurt someone to the point of tears and they still chose to stay by his side.
He doesn’t deserve to beg for Wise’s forgiveness, but he will apologize with every breath regardless.
“I’ve been so mean to you. To everyone.” Lighter spoke softly, keeping his voice low, “I was so caught up in my own shit, I pushed all of you away.”
Wise tugged at his shirt, the small shudders of his shoulder every time he sniffled.
“... You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, I’d never push you to do that.” He says, getting choked up, “But I still want to be there for you, just like how you’re always there for me.”
Lifting his head, Lighter could see the hurt in his ocean-like eyes, the tears still falling down his damp cheeks and the strands of silver hair clinging to his skin.
“So please, don’t tell me to go away. Don’t tell me to leave.” Wise cried, barely holding himself in.
“Don’t tell me to go when I want to stay with you.”
Fresh tears kept dropping, Wise unable to stop himself from crying his heart out.
Lighter couldn’t hold himself back either, joining him as his own fell down. They wept and sobbed, letting themselves drown in the sadness. He pulled the distraught young man back into his arms, fingers buried into silver strands and an arm so tightly wound around a thin waist.
Time ticked by and although life outside moves on without them, they stayed where they were to comfort the other.
They didn’t want to let go, to separate, fearful of the other somehow fading away from their sight.
So they stayed, and stayed, until their consciousness slowly faded to black.
It was late into the evening when Lighter began to stir awake.
His body twitched as he woke up, slowly opening his bleary eyes to see the faint outlines of his home, blanketed in darkness. He casts a side-glance out the window, wondering how long he had been asleep. The sky had darkened considerably, only the barest sliver of light still visible beyond the horizon.
When he turns his sight back, he finds Wise resting peacefully in his arms.
Somehow, they had fallen asleep just like this, with Lighter leaned back against the side of his couch as they sat on the floor.
Lighter could tell his body was sore, this place not being the most comfortable spot to be sleeping in when he had a perfectly good couch right behind him.
But he stayed still, not wanting to disturb Wise from his slumber.
Gently, Lighter caressed his cheeks, the puffiness of his eyes more prominent than before. Although the room was dark, he could see the corners were red from how hard he cried earlier. His smaller hands clung to his shirt, refusing to let go even in his sleep.
His words from earlier echoed in Lighter’s mind.
Wise had come because he cared — because he was in love.
His confession had come abruptly, out of desperation to pull Lighter back from the dark depths of his anxiety-induced depression. Lighter hadn’t expected it, to find out this way of Wise holding romantic feelings towards him.
Thoughts circled in his head, of how awful of a person he had been to have made Wise confess in that type of situation.
His own feelings aside, he needed to make up to the silver-haired man for the trouble he had caused.
For now, he should move Wise to a more comfortable spot. Carefully, Lighter tried to loop an arm under his legs and pick the sleeping figure up into his arms. Unfortunately, this had jostled Wise awake enough to sleepily open his eyes and looked around confused.
“Ah, sorry.” Lighter apologized.
Wise yawned, rubbing his eyes as he was gently placed down with his feet on the floor. Lighter did keep hold of him, letting him wake up properly until he was awake enough to stand on his own.
“What time is it…?” He tiredly asks, another yawn escaping.
“Not too sure, the sun had already set when I woke up.” Lighter answered him.
Now awake, he could hear how parched Wise sounded, likely dehydrated from all the crying he did earlier and their earlier arguments. He guided Wise to sit at the small table by the window, opening it to let some fresh air in and handed him a glass of water alongside a cool damp cloth for his eyes.
Wise thanked him, sipping the water and placing the cloth over his eyes.
Lighter sat across from him, letting him rest and recuperate. They didn’t speak for a while, just staying still in awkward silence.
When the cloth slipped off the proxy’s face, placing it down on the worn table, Wise sighed quietly and the silence continued. Lighter could see his eyes were still puffy, but better than how it was before.
Noticing this, Wise gave a small smile, grateful.
“How are you feeling?” Lighter asks carefully.
“I’m fine, a little better after getting some water.” Wise replied, “You?”
Lighter gave a vague shrug, “I’m… doing okay, I think.”
“That’s good.”
Silence stretched between them again, only the sound of the fluttering curtains heard. After a brief moment of hesitation and gathering up his nerves, Lighter spoke up.
“I guess I should… talk about what’s been going on… with me.”
“You don’t have to talk about it if it’s too hard, Lighter. You can tell me whenever you’re comfortable.” Wise reassures him, worry etched on his face.
Lighter shakes his head, “No, no, I’m fine. I… want to talk about it.”
They sat there in silence again for the longest time, Lighter gathering up his nerves a second time before he exhaled, not realizing he had been holding his breath.
His face was buried in his hand, the other fiddling with the rim of his glass cup.
“Things have just been… off with me lately.” Lighter finally spoke, sighing forlornly, “I can’t seem to do anything right. I’ve been messing up even the easiest tasks and what’s worse,” He chokes up, flashes of everyone’s faces in his mind before he shakes it off, “what’s worse… is everyone being so goddamn patient with me. It’s much worse than them being disappointed in me for not being able to pull my own weight.”
“But Lighter, why do you think that?” Wise asked carefully.
“I just–” He ran his fingers through his hair, frustration seeping out, “I don’t understand why they would be. To someone like me. Like, I messed up! Be angry, be upset, be disappointed! Something–!”
His hands clenched into fists, shaking.
Wise appeared to worry over him, his eyebrows furrowed and the look he had, as if he was the one who felt hurt by this admission.
“Lighter,” He starts off, concerned, “do you feel like you have to be punished for your actions?”
Lighter hesitates, wanting to protest but finds himself unable to deny the truth, especially not towards Wise.
“Isn’t that the right thing, though? I caused so much trouble and… and I even got someone hurt because of it.”
“Oh, Lighter…”
Seeing his companions — his family — in such a state because of his mistake, had almost lost their lives. Although they had come out of it alive, it wasn’t unscathed and the blood on his hands that time left him hurling in disgust once they were out.
It terrified him.
Flashes of his past would appear in his mind, how it reminded him of his sins from years ago. What if it happened again? What if his mistakes cost another life again on his watch?
Resentment and anger and pain was the only thing he could accept from the others.
“I should have been the strongest.” Lighter mutters, his vision becoming blurry and dark, staring at his scarred hands as it trembles, “That was my one job, my one purpose. To keep everyone safe, to watch over them, to take on jobs so they wouldn’t be in danger.”
Fists slammed on the table, the frustration taking over, “But what’s the point of being the strongest, of being the so-called Champion, if I can’t even protect the people close to me?!”
“Why be kind to me when I could’ve almost killed someone?!”
His mind was becoming a jumbled mess again, the dark thoughts sinking its teeth into wherever it could latch and sending him spiralling into a dark abyss. Everything was slowly melding together.
Right when he was about to crash out, a small hand reached over to hold his own.
“Lighter…” A gentle voice calls.
When he forces himself to look up, he froze.
Wise had tears in his eyes again, cascading down his cheeks. The hurt reflected in those deep blue oceans, crying for his sake. Crying for him.
“You’ve been suffering by yourself all this time.” He says, his voice quivering, fragile.
“Wise…”
Wiping away his tears, sniffling, Wise calms himself down the best he could. It took a bit of time, his sleeves becoming damp.
He took a deep breath, steady.
“You’ve been trying your best to handle everything all alone, thinking this was for the best so that no one else gets hurt except for you.” Wise traced over the scars on his hands, each of them a memory of everything he had to deal with over the years, “But Lighter, doing this doesn’t just hurt yourself.”
Lighter couldn’t look away, seeing himself reflected in his eyes.
“You hurt the others around you by doing this. Seeking punishment because you think you deserve it only hurts your loved ones more. Why do you think they were being kind instead of being upset with you?”
He had to think about it.
When Caesar had patted his shoulders with a determined smile despite her bandaged state.
When Lucy told him they were going to get back at the other gang for this.
When Burnice handed him his sunglasses and tried to cheer him up.
When Piper patted his back as he was throwing his guts out to make sure he was okay.
When Pulchra had given him an awkward tap of her fist on his chest to encourage him.
They never blamed him, never treated it as if it was his fault. Instead, they surrounded him to make sure he was alright, caring in their own ways.
“Even though scary things happened, they knew you were struggling to process everything. Instead of getting upset or disappointed, they wanted to help and be there for you.” Wise pat his hand gently, reassuring, “They care about you a lot because just like how you consider them your loved ones, they think the same of you as well. They love you, so instead of punishing you, they want to look after your well-being.”
Wise smiled softly, choosing his words carefully to help Lighter understand what being surrounded with love meant. To have people who think the world of him, as family.
“You’re important to them, Lighter. That’s why.”
Deep down inside, Lighter knew. He had known all this time and chose to not think so, wanting to keep a distance where he could protect the family he has now without having them worry about him.
But he couldn’t deny how often they reached out to him anyway, waiting for him to come to them one day.
“Do you… really think so?” Lighter ask, swallowing.
Wise nodded, “I know so.”
“Still,” He frowned, “they’re probably mad at me now for causing all this trouble. Especially when I yelled at them and pushed them all away.”
“Hmm, probably.”
Lighter looked up, confused.
Wise chuckled at his reaction, “They’re not going to punish you or make you feel bad for this, your feelings matter to them, after all. But…”
“But?”
“But they will get mad at you for being an idiot for not confiding in them, telling you to trust them more and to come to them whenever you have a problem.” And he smiles, knowing exactly how their friends — Lighter’s family — were like.
“And that’s the best kind of being mad at you, because they care about you enough to be angry over your well-being.”
That does give Lighter some thought, and he couldn’t deny that Wise was right. It was a difficult thing to swallow, however, to let someone into his bubble, really be a part of his life and close the distance he had tried his hardest to maintain.
There were still doubts, still the trepidation and the fear. Yet as Wise patted his hand, smiling at him reassuringly that everything was going to be okay, Lighter figured he should try to better.
Not just for everyone, but for himself, too.
Then if he was finally going to take a step forward, then maybe now was as good a time as any.
Starting with Wise.
“Thank you, Wise.” He thanked him, careful and considerate, “And I’m sorry. For what I said earlier and… and for making you cry.”
The blush blooming on those pale cheeks caught his attention, an unexpected reaction with Wise humming so softly with a small nod.
“I forgive you, Lighter. And I’m sorry too, I said some things I didn’t mean as well.”
Lighter shook his head, finally letting himself smile a little, awkward as it was.
“You have nothing to apologize for, I… needed to hear it.”
The tension from earlier slowly dissipated, leaving behind only the lightness in the air, the weight slowly taken off his shoulders once he properly talked it out. Everything became much clearer and brighter, letting him finally breathe after so long.
They sat there in silence, letting the moment settle between them. Wise had let go of his hand to pull apart the curtains more, letting the moonlight set the room aglow.
The summer breeze blew the cool night air in, though soon autumn will settle and nights will become colder in the Outer Ring.
Lighter glances at the young proxy sitting across from him, his silver hair flowing with the wind and glistening eyes staring into the farthest distance of the Outer Ring dunes. His confessions from earlier echoed in Lighter’s mind, which had caught him off-guard earlier.
It wasn’t necessarily a secret he held special feelings for Wise, maybe he had simply just never told anyone about it.
Many times, Lighter showed his feelings without trying to push for anything, only wanting it to be known because he wanted Wise to know, even if it may not be reciprocated.
So to find out Wise did, in fact, feel the same way made his heart flutter.
He was a little curious about something, though.
“How long have you had…” Lighter pauses, unsure of how else to say it but goes for it anyway, “... feelings for me?”
Wise hums, the light in his eyes staring out the window almost absentmindedly. He takes a while to answer before he finally opens his mouth.
“You’re gonna think it’s silly.” He chuckles, looking a little embarrassed.
“Try me.” Lighter smiles.
It was cute how shy Wise had gotten, the slight pink on his cheeks and the small smile he tried to hide behind his hand. He flushed when he noticed Lighter staring back at him, waiting patiently.
“Do you remember when we were at that playground?” Wise starts, “You asked me what I wanted to do and I just said we could play with the sand on a whim.”
Lighter nods, “Yeah, I remember that.” He couldn’t help but laugh, “That was a long while ago, Wise. You’re telling me you’ve had feelings since then?”
Wise puts his hands together, half covering his face while being so utterly shy about it.
“Well, I think I might’ve had a crush on you before that, but…”
“But?”
He lowers his hands, twiddling his fingers and fiddling with the ends of his sleeves. There was a look in his eyes, how it held endearment and fondness as if he was recounting a very precious memory.
“That might have been the moment for me.” Wise smiled, his gaze finally landing back on his own, “When I saw you making that cute little sand sculpture of Eous, having fun playing in the sand and just laughing at the little things together.”
He leans back on his chair, the subtle moonlight beaming down its glow on his profile.
“I thought to myself, ‘ah, this feels right’ and realized then that I wanted more of this.”
Wise huffs a soft chuckle, sounding so sweet, “Like I said, silly, right?”
Lighter thought back to that moment in time. When he had gotten a message while in the middle of a brawl, casually punching someone in the face while he was texting Wise back. It wasn’t something he usually did, not even for the girls, yet he answered immediately the moment he saw who it was from, danger be damned.
How could Wise think of himself as silly when Lighter himself had done sillier things without realizing his own feelings?
“Not at all.” Lighter responds, soft and quiet.
“It’s not silly, not in the least.”
How adorable and precious it was to see the silver-haired proxy so flustered beyond belief, yet equally happy all the same when he smiled so genuinely.
“Thank you, Lighter.”
There was more Lighter wanted to say, more that he wanted to talk about, to tell Wise. The words, however, wouldn’t come out. He knows why, and reaches over to gently take Wise’s hand in his own, ocean blue eyes widening.
“I know I’m asking for a lot but,” He firmly holds thin moon pale hands, redness visible with each joint of his fingers, “can you wait for me, Wise?”
Wise blinks his eyes, how it darts back and forth between their held hands and Lighter’s gaze.
“Wait… for you?”
“Yes.”
By now, the moon had surely reached the peak of its height. How it shines the most miniscule of light inside the dark room of his home, the gentle cool breeze of the night swaying the curtains and the strands of their hair.
Lighter could see those pretty teal eyes slowly understand in real time what his words meant, the shortness of his breath as if his heart was pumping in increased measures.
“Is it… what I think it means?” Wise asks, blushing, “Can I take it to mean what I want it to mean?”
There was uncertainty in his voice, almost like he thought this was too good to be true.
And Lighter wanted to make it come true.
“Yes, you can. Please do.”
Lighter plants a kiss on those reddened fingers, made obvious by the paleness of his smooth skin. How he could hear the hitch of Wise’s breath, felt the slight tremble of his body from his hand and the small nod with the quietest of hums.
Maybe soon, they could do more. When there was less to worry about, less to deal with.
“I still have a lot I have to make up for, a lot of people to make up to.” He pats Wise’s hand, gently caressing it with a thumb, “As I am right now, I need to work some things out and fix everything that I broke along the way. But when I’m done and everything is clear again…”
When he lifted his eyes, all he could see was Wise.
“Can I come see you?”
And when the young man in front of him tears up, this time with a smile on those petal soft lips, Lighter felt the pull of his heart yet again.
“Of course!”
Both of them smiled and laughed, content.
The night went on for them, unable to sleep as they conversed late into the hour in the dark with only the moonlight to keep them company. After the sun rises, they know they have to part ways until the time is right.
So until then, they will spend the night together, sharing warmth and opening hearts.
It was a cold winter day on Sixth Street.
Wise had been outside the storefront when he heard the crunching of snow, turning his head to see a familiar face in a warm leather jacket and red scarf.
“Hey there, Wise.” Lighter greets warmly, smiling.
He brightens, running into the older man’s arms.
“Lighter!”