Chapter Text
Will doesn’t fall out of love with Mike so much as he slowly learns to carry it without letting it show. And it works, at least at first.
Will was sitting on the floor of his room back in Lenora, fidgeting, as the cassette tape his brother had made for him when he was little played softly in the background. The tape always reminded him of earlier, easier days, when he was as careless as any child. Days when his biggest worry wasn’t the survival of his loved ones or the end of the world, but the next D&D campaign and the upcoming AV club meeting. Oh how desperately he missed those times.
As he played with the fabric of his shirt he found himself slipping into memories of Hawkins - of his friends, wondering what they were all up to. El’s muffled voice drifted through the wall from the room next to his, soft and gentle. She was, unmistakably, talking to Mike for what might have been the third time that day. The sound of the distant conversation pulled him out of his thoughts all at once and, sucking in a sharp breath, he felt his chest tighten before he could stop it.
He couldn’t help but feel a sting of jealousy and a wave of sadness wash over him. It had been 4 months since he last “heard” from Mike in what was a half-hearted phone call he received. Actually, he did not even receive a call, not directly – El was already talking to Mike and Will just happened to pass by and so she called him over, saying that Mike had asked about him and wanted to talk to him and well, that was about it.
It broke his heart — how Mike seemed to have forgotten about his existence, or how he simply didn’t care anymore. He missed his best friend more than anything. He was having a hard time settling into California – making friends, fitting in, trying, and failing, to make himself feel at home. He wanted someone to talk to. Not just anyone though. Mike. He wanted to talk to Mike. He wanted to talk to him about everything and nothing at all. He just wanted an excuse to hear his voice, to listen to his laugh, to pretend for a second that everything was normal. He wanted to tell him just how much he missed him and hope that he would say it back. It physically pained him that they barely interacted anymore and yet Mike was haunting every corner of Will’s life without even knowing it. Without knowing the hold he had on him and how much his absence was affecting him. Will could never say any of those things to Mike though and it tore him apart.
He didn’t know where it all went wrong. He didn’t have an explanation as to what happened between them and why they drifted apart so suddenly. Actually, Will would love nothing more than to find out what caused this sudden coldness that swept through their friendship, so he could try to, somehow, fix it. He would do his best, no matter the cost, because to him, his friendship with Mike was what was really important. Mike was more than a crush he so desperately tried to hide, more than the object of Will’s deepest desires, he was more than the boy he was in love with. He was so — so much more. Before it all, however, Mike was, first and foremost, Will’s best friend. He was the one person who understood Will, who supported and accepted him. The one person he could truly be himself with, the only person he felt he could really talk to — about everything. Or almost everything, at least. He was the only person who made him feel safe. But that was before it all changed, and now it felt like they were merely more than strangers.
He had long ago made his peace with the fact that Mike would never love him. Not in the way he loved him at least, not in the way he longed for him to. He knew Mike was happily in love with El and he was happy for them, he really was, after all - his one greatest wish was for his friends, for Mike, to be happy and if El made him happy then so be it. But that didn’t mean it didn’t sting, it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt more than he was willing to admit to himself. So he was doing his best and he was dealing with it.
Hiding his feelings — it became easier with time. Every time he told himself he was over Mike, every time those words chanted in his head, or in the rare moments he was alone and could allow himself to think it — to say it out loud even — every time the words were spoken, it started to feel more and more like the truth, like it was real. Or so he thought.
Now, almost 2 years later, he was realising just how far off the truth he was.