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Erica and Tina knew they couldn’t be together.
On one hand, Tinas family was one of the wealthiest in Hawkins, republican, and both of her parents were ignorant.
At dinner, Tinas parents would complain about the “damn immigrants” and “liberals”.
It rubbed off on Tina as-well- but she quickly realized that was wrong, especially after meeting Erica.
On the other, the Sinclair family was quite supportive. Her brother, Lucas being best friends with queer people, and her parents were open minded and supportive of anything their kids did.
They both knew not many people would support them, just listening to the conversations kids would have at school was enough to make them shudder.
Openly queer students were often mocked, bullied, and teased.
The worst part was that Tina and Ericas friends were also, not supportive of gay people.
Tina would try to fit in- laugh as the occasional “fag” joke to not raise suspicion. Even call some random geek a queer if she was around lots of people.
Even if it mean’t hurting Erica.
They would argue- argue over Tina acting homophobic.
“Erica, we’ve talked about this before. Im trying to not raise suspicion about us. We can’t risk people knowing.” Tina would snap- rubbing her temple.
“Tina- you know damn well. You can do that without hurting those people!” Erica snarled back.
“How? Erica. Its hard, really fucking hard. Im being peer pressured, constantly!” Tina spluttered.
“I don’t fucking know! How about- not laughing at fuck ass Jessicas jokes! And maybe adding in a ‘hey, guys! we shouldn’t make fun of them- thats rude’ Have you ever thought about that, Tina?” Erica hissed
“Erica- calm down, okay? ill try to stop- for you, for us.” Tina whispered, taking Ericas hand in hers.
It physically hurt them to not be able to love each-other loudly, make out at their lockers, hold hands when they walked down the halls together. Just like how the straight couples would, all out of the fear of being perceived wrong.
It wasn’t just that- the fact they were an interracial couple too was something they risked. Erica knew firsthand from Lucas that there would be whispers behind their back.
Despite all that, they still found the time to love each other as loudly as they could.
Even if it meant having to do small things like sharing quick eye contact, and holding hands whenever they could.
Things they could pass off as “Girlhood.”
Erica was frankly, sick of it.
She just wanted to be able to kiss her girlfriend senseless whenever she wanted to, and not have to look around and see if anyone would catch them.
Tina just wanted her parents to accept their relationship, something she knows will never happen.
At lunch, Erica and Tina were sitting together outside, with Tina resting her head on Ericas lap. They were at peace, their whole friend group appeared. Six girls came, six of their lifelong best friends.
Tina quickly sat up, fixing her hair and trying to calm herself.
“Whatcha guys up to huh? I saw that, that shit was gay as hell.” Jessica snickered, the other girls laughed.
“None of your business, Jessica.” Erica shot back.
“Awwh, wouldya look at that? The girlfriends are defending eachother! What next? You guys gonna give eachother aids?” Tessa laughed.
“What the fuck, Tessa.” Tina spat.
“Why do you think I would even do that weird shit? Huh? you take me as a dyke? And why would I date Erica of all people?” Tina bellowed
The silence after was deafening.
Ericas face fell.
How could her girlfriend say that about her?
Was she telling the truth?
She ran off, heading to god knows where.
Their friends looked in disbelief.
“Woah.. I didnt expect you to get.. that mad.” Jessica gasped.
“I.. I gotta go, see you guys later.” Tina said, running back into the school building to look for Erica.
She ran into the bathroom, hearing stiffled sobs and cries. She banged on the door- trying to get in.
“Erica- Erica.. please. Listen to me.” Tina pleaded
“*Hic* Just- just go away, Tina.” Erica got out, keeping her sassy tone even when she was crying.
“Come on- just, just listen.”
Erica begrudgingly opened the stall door, her teary eyes meeting Tinas stressed ones.
“Listen- I know, I know I shouldn’t have said that it was in the-“
“Heat of the moment? Thats what you’ve said, every single goddamn time!” Erica interjected.
Tina was speechless, she didn’t know what to say.
“It’s this cycle, Tina. You fuck something up, and come crawling back to me like a coward. And every time- I let you back in. Only for you to fuck up again!” Erica bellowed.
“It’s why we cant work.” Erica finished.
“W-what.. what do you mean? We- we work fine, Erica- baby, please.” Tina pleaded.
“No- we don’t. Tina.” Erica whispered.
With that- Erica wiped her tears and left the bathroom, leaving Tina alone.
Tina stumbled out of the stall, walking up to the mirror and resting her palms on the sinks edge.
‘God.. what have I done?’ She thought.
Tina thought hard- studying herself. She realized- realized that shes internalized the same hatred used against her and used it to hurt Erica.
“FUCK!”
-
Erica lay in her bed- just thinking.
She was coping, trying to convince herself it was okay.
She came to the conclusion that she had to pull away from Tina. At all costs.
Pulling away meant that her feelings would slowly go away- it would ‘be safer and better for us’ she thought. She was tired. Tired of having to sneak around in her own relationship.
Over the next few months, Erica distanced herself as much as possible from Tina and their friends, even if that meant spending much of her day alone.
Meanwhile, Tina was going batshit crazy.
She would go to school and zone out the whole time- go home and just sob for hours on end.
She missed Erica- so, so much , her heart felt like it had shrunk two sizes without her.
Her old ‘friends’ had abandoned her, and now spread rumors her and Erica and broken up. She was sad to admit the rumors were true, not that she would tell anybody.
She would pick spitballs out of her hair, have paper balls with “fag” wrote inside be thrown at her head.
It was driving her crazy- she wanted the rumors to end- rumors that she was gay, even if she knew they were right.
There was only one clear option to her.
Get back with Josh.
And get back with Josh she did, she baked a pie and showed up to his door crying, begging him to take her back.
Deep down, Tina knew the only person she truly loved was Erica.
Instantly, the rumors stopped, and it seemed like life was going back to normal.
Normal.
But Tina was missing something, or someone i should say.
Her life didnt feel complete without her.
About a week after her and Josh got back together, Erica stormed up to Tinas house, ringing the bell uncontrollably.
“Holy shit! Whos this pissed off at this hour!?” Tina yelped as she ran to get the door.
As soon as she opened the door, all her frustration melted away.
“Erica.. What are you doing here?..” She mumbled, her tone soft.
“Dont give me that soft shit, Turnbow. I wanna know, why the fuck are you back with Josh?!” She yelled.
“I-I dont know, maybe its cause we ‘dont work.’” Tina spat, all former softness in her voice leaving
“Hes just a distraction, huh?” Erica hissed.
“Yeah! Erica, he is. Hes just a distraction. Because I couldn’t get over you!” Tina bellowed.
A moment passed, neither of them spoke.
Suddenly, Erica leaned forward, capturing Tinas lips in a searing kiss.
The kiss deepened, months of being away from each other showing in the intensity of the kiss.
Remembering they were still in the doorway, Tina picked up Erica and ran up the stairs, running as fast as she could into her bedroom.
Ericas confrontation turned into a sleepover, the two were curled up together, Ericas face buried in the space between Tinas neck and shoulder.
“Il.. Ill breakup with Josh.” Tina murmured, breaking the blissful silence.
“I.. I distanced myself because I thought it would be better for us, but I guess I was wrong in the end.. I tried to play it safe.” Erica blurted.
“I don’t want to play it safe, I don’t care what anyone else in this world thinks if I’m with you, Erica Sinclair.” Tina mumbled.
“I dont wanna live in fear anymore.” Erica sighed.