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I Love You, I'm Sorry.

Summary:

Will Byers genuinely thinks that Mike Wheeler could never ever love him back. He keeps his emotions back, before starting to see mixed signals from Mike.

title inspired by "I love you, I'm sorry" by Gracie Abrams.

OR

Byler rewrite of Stranger things season five episodes 7 and 8.

Notes:

MY FIRST FIC!! Pls if theres anything wrong with it comment, I have no Idea what I'm doing lol.

Chapter 1: Familiar Taste

Chapter Text

Will struggled against a familiar vined wall, grunting, fighting as eerie vines crawled over him, making Will unable to resist from the pain. The same place where all of his nightmares, memories, and gut wrenching flashbacks took place. It was this place- the place he was in right there, except it wasn't a dream anymore. It was real. And it was hell. His vision was blurry, so he wasnt completely able to tell where exactly he was, but he knew he was there, there again, and he knew because he's felt it hundreds of times. When his eyes evened out, he saw a tall, what looks to be regular man, walking towards him. It was Henry. Vecna.

He groaned some more, using all of the strength in his body to fight. Fight away the memories, fight away the pain. Fight away, being a vessel for the man a second time. "Do you remember this place, William?" Henry asks, turning his head towards him on the last word. Vines spread upward, roaming his body against his will. It felt horrible. Feeling it again. It was like his dreams, but worse. Way, way worse.

"No," he whispered, remembering that day years ago. That day he lost the fight- that day that the demogorgen got him. He remembered getting slammed down to the ground, and pushed against the dreaded wall that he'd seen time and time before. He remembered the vine that suctioned to his face, filling his mouth with an awful, awful taste. The taste that sometimes he'd still have, left bitter in his mind. That taste was supposed to be gone. It was always supposed to be gone, yet it filled his mouth every single night. Sometimes it made him not want to sleep. Made him dread the night and the dark so painfully. He gagged at the memory.

"No. No, no.." he begged again, fighting back tears for his life. So much fighting- but what was it for? Maybe he wanted these horrible, hellish memories to be gone. Maybe he wanted to be gone. He tried with all force to shake his head. To get out of the dream. But it was real. It wasn't a dream. No, not anymore.

Henry continued to walk closer. It felt as if you knew you were about to die, but you couldn't do anything. Like, you see a killer, coming at you from a distance at full speed- but you just stand there, frozen, body unable to do anything for you. You just had to stand there and wait to get stabbed helplessly. "Does it," Henry starts.

Will cocked his head to the side with all of his power, watching veins crawl down Henry's arms as if it were the most normal thing in the world. "No." He grunted again, louder this time, knowing he was completely helpless. He was the frozen victim being ran at. More veins spread throughout henry's body.

"bring," Henry continued, "back," Will struggled more, suddenly more aggressive against the vines. Henry's vines finished consuming him. He was now in his full dark shadow form. He was now Vecna. "memories?" he asked, tilting his hideous head to the side. He was next to will. Right in front of him now.

Will grunted more, voice strained against the vines that were making him helpless. "Max," he gasped, "Holly..." he panted between words- vines beginning to strangle him more and more, making him more and more helpless. He still fought. He still tried. He wasn't going to let a noseless bastard hurt him. Not now. Not when his friends, his family, need him. "They got away, didn't they?" he asked, bitterly. But he knew. He knew that they did. They got away, and that was why Vecna was there, torturing him, instead of watching over his little pets. Will grunted, trembling as his muscles tried not to give out. "Did the legs slow you down?" he grunted, panting after each phrase. The vines were getting tighter, roaming all over. It was the most uncomfortable feeling- and he couldn't believe he felt it again. just when he thought he'd gotten rid of the feeling.

"You think you are clever, don't you?" Vecna asked, his evil and tormenting voice low. "But remember, I am the one. The one who invited you in." He added, showing Will the memory of that day in the field. The day that he felt him. The day that his body got evaded and controlled by Vecna- and got turned into a spy. "You were my vessel." He growled, "My spy," Will shook his head as Vecna continued. The thoughts were unbearable. The trauma that Vecna gave Will to forever keep was anything but a gift. "My builder." Vecna finally said, his vines crawling up Will's neck.

Will's face was full of desperation, internally screaming to be let go. Tears welled up in his eyes, but wouldn't fall. He gagged before echoing, "builder," full of confusion.

Vecna growled. "How do you think the tunnels came to be, William?" He told him. He stepped closer to Will, craving and feeding off of the uncomfort Will had. "You built them each and every night he slept." He blamed, lifting a hand to His face.

Vecna's hand stroked Will's cheek. He growled watching Will use his all to try and move away, grunting and struggling against the vines. He fed off of the way he was shaking his head, the way he was so helpless there. "There is much much power within you, but make no mistake, boy." he warned bitterly while will continue to struggle. "They are my powers. And they are stronger than ever before." He said, showing Will his heart. It beat fast with Vecna below it, hanging from his throne of vines.

"Now, at last, it is time. Time for my vessels to lead us to a new world." He explained to Will with such power, "a better world." he spat.

Will scoffed, tilting his head up. "Too bad. Your world will never exist now that Max has one of your vessels." He hissed, voice coming more and more weak as Vecna's vines explored his neck.

"There are ways to spook a fox from its den, William. And you are going to help me. You are going to be my spy one last time." He said slowly, watching as a tear finally fell from Will's eye.

Will grunted and shook his head, more tears falling. "No. Never." he snarled. He never thought this day would come. He never thought that Vecna would actually do it. Never get him. Not with the help of his family. His friends. Lucas, Dustin... Mike. It seemed as if realization hit him once he looked down, stunned as Vecna started to raise a hand. He gasped and his breaths grew faster as the dreaded hand approached his face.

"The more you resist, William, he more this will hurt." He growled one last time before will's vision went blurry. He tasted the familiar, haunting taste.

Will felt a sharp pain in his eyes. The sharpest pain, actually. His mind raced of hundreds of good and bad memories. Some of his dad. Some of him and Jonathan. Some of Lucas and dustin. But most of all, of Mike. Will genuinely couldn't tell if this was Vecna's doing- just to torture him- or if it was his own. He felt a warm, liquidy sensation run down his eyes. His throat hurt. Was he screaming? What was happening?

The next second, he was in a memory. He was in a field- the field that him and his friends hung out in during the summer of '85. The party was hanging out, it seemed- except, the others were walking away. Will crossed his arms to his chest. He knew this memory. Everyone was walking away, but Mike and Eleven. That summer was the summer that Will finally realized why he felt so different. Why he didn't want the girls in the party, why he just wanted to spend his time with Mike and Mike only.

Mike had been his ride home to everything. It was an arrangement that his and Mike's mom made. Of course Karen understood. Will didn't. He didn't understand why he couldn't bike home on his own. He didn't like having to third wheel Mike and Eleven every single day. But there he was in the field, Mike and Eleven behind him. He didn't wan't to turn around. He wanted to walk towards the party and ask someone else for a ride. He knew his mom wouldn't like that. He stood and stared straight ahead as Lucas, Max and Dustin hopped onto their at the bottom of the hill. Will felt like screaming. He also felt like crying. Sobbing, actually.

He turned around to see Mike and El kissing. Kissing- way too passionately. It was so incredibly gross. It looked like Mike was trying to eat her face off. Will felt like vomiting. He genuinely felt...like he was going to stand in front of his best friend and his girlfriend as they were making out and throw up in front of them.

He did. He puked in front of his best friend and his girlfriend. And they got startled. El ran to will and worriedly asked if he was okay. "I'm.. I'm fine. Please, can we just go..?" Will asked, turning around and wiping his mouth bitterly. Mike didn't say anything. He didn't look at Will without disgust.

When will turned back around, he saw Vecna. And suddenly he wasn't thirteen anymore. He was seventeen again. And heard Vecna's growls. They were still in the felid, before he jerked his head to the side and suddenly showed the two an image- an unfamiliar image. It was.. Will, his mom, Jonathan, El, Hopper, and.. Mike.. all in a room. The room was the living room in Hopper's cabin. All of them were siting down, Eyes around Will, who was sitting on the coffee table infront of them. They all looked emotional. Will had red, watery eyes. Joyce and Hopper were holding hands smiling to Will with encouragement. Jonathan looked supportive and sam with El- but a bit oblivious. Mike had a grossed out look on his face. He looked as if he had just watched Seth Brundle's transformation in 'The Fly' for the first time. He looked disturbed.

Will didn't recognize this one. This was the future. He had an idea of what this was. All he did was hope and pray that it wasn't what he thought it was.

"I'm just the same me." He heard his own echoey voice from behind. He flinched and turned around. He saw Mike and Will in the rain through the front door.

Mike put his hand on his forehead in disbelief. "I- I know! I just- It's not..normal." he told Will, sounding a bit guilty.

Future Will looked hurt. So did present Will. He practically flinched, and ran out to an unfamiliar car. He drove. Drove away. God knows where.

Will gasped as the memory drifted away. The hot feeling was now replaced with tears that kept spilling down his cheeks. He sobbed quietly, his mind spun with memories and future moments. He saw so much.. too much. He saw his future self sobbing- sobbing alone. Then, he was showed- the party. The whole party. Lucas, Dustin, Mike, El, and Max. No Will. He was shown about 10 more scenarios like this. All with no Will.

They kept coming. All of Will's friends were gone. Worried. They talked on the phone until gradually, Will kept pushing away his emotions, and all of them stopped calling. Will was alone.

Will's eyes shot open. Vecna wasn't to be seen. He was still in the vines. How long had it been? He gagged.

Will saw nothing but the dark atmosphere.

"Will!"