Work Text:
TICK! TOCK! TICK! TOCK!
You ever hear a sound that shouldn’t drive you a bit insane, but it does? Like, in a bad way? Well, I sure have. It’s happening right now.
TICK! TOCK!
Okay. Enough of this. Just close your eye and focus on breathing, Rags. Focus your mind on something other than…
Well, whatever it was that happened earlier.
TICK! TOCK!
…Oh, who am I kidding? That all wasn’t just 'whatever' happened earlier. It was a whole lot of 'whatevers' happened earlier.
Whatevers that have had my head spinning in circles for hours now.
TICK! TOCK!
…And oh, how I appreciate that dramatic background music you provide, Mr. Analog.
Seriously, since when did my bedside clock get so annoying? I mean, the one that seemed frozen at Spudsy’s was less irritating than this!
…Oh.
Oh, no.
Nope! Change the station! You are not thinking of Spudsy’s, Ragatha!
…Especially not the stupid snapshots starting to fly around in your head.
Me. Stumbling over my feet like the moron I am and crashing onto the floor, leaving the whole right side of my face aching.
Me. My pathetic reflection in the mirror, wincing like a baby as I try to stitch the eye button back in place by myself.
Me. So graceful as I trip over my feet, causing me to slam into his chest and cause us both to fall. All because I was actually attempting to…
Well, whatever it was I was trying to do.
…Wait. What was I trying to do?
Oh.
Oh.
Ew, that’s gross. So, so gross. That’s not what I was doing!
I mean, I still don’t know what exactly I was trying to do, but I know it wasn’t that!
Right?
…Oh, no.
What if he translated it as that?
What if he thought I was trying to flirt-
Nope. We are not thinking about that! Forget changing the station- turn off this train wreck of a show!
…Or at least focus on the other lead role.
Like him. Face-planting the floor when he comes barging into the ladies’ restroom.
Him. Holding my button eye far above my reach (curse those long arms). Him. Demanding me to sit down like I was a dog.
Him. Being just inches from my face. His cheeks blushing occasionally. His large, golden eyes focused on fixing my button eye.
…Man, do I still see his eyes. They are like windows- allowing me to look straight into his heart. I’ve always found them to be extremely expressive, revealing secrets he’d never say verbally. Pain. Worry. Loneliness. And gosh, I had to make myself swear to secrecy. Even against telling him what his eyes were telling me. And today, they screamed remorse and pain, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.
…Oh, and his hands. I can still feel them against my cheek as he stitched me back up. His fingers were so gentle and soft- it was crazy! Especially given he could’ve pinched the dickens out of me! And the fact he actually did a good job fixing my button eye? When he easily could’ve not cared? Even more insane!
It’s bizarre, I know, but I still see his long ears dipping a bit around the frame of his work visor. And how his black shirt and pants looked slightly baggy over his skinny arms and legs. Such a change up from his typical coral overalls.
I see him by the cash register, pushing buttons. Probably thinking of ways to push mine, too…
And gosh, do I still see him, feel him lying on the floor beside me. Laughing maniacally so deeply the ground shook.
Not laughing at me for once. Not at anyone, actually.
Just a free, real laugh I haven’t ever heard from him.
…You ever hear a sound that should drive you a bit insane but it doesn’t? Like, in a good w-
DING-DONG!
I rashly sit up from laying down in my bed. My eye jumps to the clock. It’s nearly nine. Who on earth would still be up this hour?
I hold my breath and rattle my brain. I haven’t asked Pomni to stop by; the blanket I’m making her isn’t quite done yet. Zooble?…No, he usually checks in early, especially after Caine makes him participate in an adventure. Gangle seemed too exhausted to even think after we got back from Spudsy’s. And the last I saw Kinger, he was raving about how he was going to spend the evening watching paint dry. Literally.
That only leaves-
Oh.
Oh, no-
“Oh, Raggy~! Be a dream and open up, would ya?”
I groan. Cue the attention-stealing lead role.
“If you don’t, I still have my key! And we both know I ain’t afraid to use it, baby doll!”
Baby doll.
Oh, thank GOODNESS he can’t see me blushing right now.
Seeing I have no options, I rise to my feet and lumber over to my room door. I make it a point to roughly open it, an intentional glare and scowl on my face.
Yup. It’s him. A premeditated smirk shining on his face just like always.
“What?”
The next thing I know, Jax is throwing something made of fabric at me. I’m a bit disoriented, but after untangling it from my face, I look it over.
It’s his overalls he’s always seen in. Only this time, one of the straps is disconnected from the main part of the clothing.
“Fix this.”
I look up to glare at him. For the first time, I notice he's wearing a back-up pair of overalls- ones a baby blue shade with green buttons.
He looks pretty good in them. More masculine. But something about the coral pair suits him better-
“You can at least say please.”
Phew. Thank you, mouth, for stopping that line of thought for me.
Unfortunately, Jax isn't fazed. He just leans an arm against the doorway and peers closer.
And gracious, are those golden windows shining so handsome right now.
“Yes, at least I can. But of course I won’t.”
I make myself roll my eye back down to the piece of clothing. Instantly, something seems off about the tear. It’s not on the strap itself, but where it’s attached; a difficult place to rip.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but it borderline looks intentional.
“How did you even rip-”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“Kinda does.”
“Why?” he defensively gripes before sneering. “It wasn’t for some stupid reason like when your button popped off-”
“Yeah, which was your fault!”
Immediately, the air shifts. His relaxed, haughty mien suddenly disappears and his jaw tenses. He looks ticked, like he’s mad I dared to bring that up.
“Just- can you fix 'em or not?!”
Jeez. Inside voice, Jax. Besides-
“Don’t you still have my needle from earlier-”
“No!”
He can barely get his answer out before his ears go flying backwards and a faint blush appears. Man, he looks ready to explode as his idle hands drop to his sides.
“But even if I do, who cares- ”
“Well, then I can give you some thread and you can go fix the overalls yourself.”
He hesitates. Majorly. He looks almost upset I’d even pointed that out.
…And dang. Now I am, too.
“Well, you owe me from earlier,” he presses with a growl, and rats- he’s totally right.
I sigh loudly and roll my eye again.
“Fine,” I growl, deciding the matter isn’t worth pushing. I take an extra look at the torn strap. “It definitely is a simple fix, so it should only take me a minute or two. I'll get to it and bring it by-"
"Wait. You mean, like, I leave it with you?"
"Well, duh."
"...Yeah, right. Like I'd do that."
I snort in shock.
"And why wouldn't you?"
He pauses to think.
"...’Cause you might jack it up," he sneers. "You definitely need me to supervi-"
"Jax, I know what I'm doing. I've sewn millions of times-"
"Yeah, well, you could still screw it up like you do everything else."
"Excuse me?!"
"You're excused."
Ooh, he is so insufferable! Especially when he smirks even deeper.
Seeing he isn’t going to take no as an answer (my gracious, he’s stubborn!), I hesitate, but finally sigh and move out of the way.
"Fine. Come inside."
I'm shocked he doesn’t move. Instead, he blows a raspberry and crosses his arms.
"I knew it."
"What?"
"You were just dying to spend time with me."
My cheeks heat up again as I growl.
"That's not why I'm-"
"Come on, no need to lie."
"I'm not!"
"Your face says otherwise."
Boy, does that shut me up. I mean, what do you say to that? I can’t argue with him and my face, too!
"Oh, shush," I say weakly. "We all know I can barely tolerate you."
…'We all know'? Does that include yourself?
…What a weird thing to think about, Ragatha.
I shake my head and make myself think positively. As positive as I can be when it comes to Jax, that is.
At least he’s not comparing me to a dog like he was-
"By the way, good job on sitting and staying earlier, Toto. Next week we'll work on 'Drop-It'."
…Oh, never mind.
Feeling proud of himself like the jerk he is, the rabbit strolls past me like he owns the place. I can tell he doesn’t want me to, but I notice as he looks around my room.
I'm just grateful he’s not touching any-
"Wait, you kept this?!"
…Since when has he become a mind reader?!
Because he is here, holding my-
Oh, rats!
I'm at his side in half a second, instantly reaching for the object in his hand.
"Give that back-"
"Chill, Balto. We haven't worked on 'Heel' yet."
Of course, he immediately holds the item up where I have to jump just to touch it (double curse those long arms).
"Jax!"
"Oh, keep your flea collar on," he dismisses as he pushes my grabby hands away. "I was just looking at it, babe."
Babe.
How can a simple word send my brain into short-circuit mode? Worse yet, why does it make my head fry like that?
Seeing my pleas are doing nothing, I finally come to a halt. I cross my arms and glare at him, but this does little to get his attention. Curiously, he just turns the item over in his hands as if we weren’t each wearing one earlier today and turns to smirk at me.
"Riddle me this. Why’d ya keep this, Dollface?"
His question does exactly what he means for it to do, because my face instantly feels like it’s on fire. I look away.
"I dunno… I just really liked today’s adventure."
"...Why? It was weird."
Yeah, it was…
And that’s not even including the actual adventure part.
"I guess I wanted a keepsake-"
He cuts me off by pulling the Velcro straps apart. He leans forward (oh, gosh... eye to secret-revealing-golden-windows again) and places the black visor on my head. After securing the work hat in place and reattaching the straps, he gently yanks the bill to the side.
"You look better with it on."
That isn’t a compliment. At all.
…So why does it almost feel like one?
Maybe it’s his tone. Or the way he just smiles. No smirk, no airs. Just a free, real smile-
"You looked better with yours on, too."
...Did I really just say that?
"Did I now?"
"Just a tad."
What is happening?!
Jax leaning in close to my face is what's happening.
"Hmm. Shame I didn't keep my Spudsy’s hat then."
"That is a shame. The world needs more of Jax in a black visor."
...Oh, this is gross! And so not me! Am I possessed right now?!
"Well, at least one of us is giving the people what they want."
"The 'people' being you?"
"Mmm...maybe."
Okay, enough of whatever this is!
...Wait.
Is this flirt-
I take a few steps back and rashly take the hat off with my free hand. With a blush, I toss it back onto my clothing dresser. Unfortunately, this knocks over a stack of-
Oh, double rats!
Please don’t go and pick those up. Please don’t go and pick those up.
He goes and picks them up. Of course.
I toss his broken overalls onto my sewing desk and take a swan dive toward him.
"O-oh! I’ll pick these up! You don’t need to, Jax! I’ve got-"
Oh, wonderful. He’s already collected a few. And worse yet, he’s looking at them.
Instantly, his smirk vanishes. Which is so odd- normally I love seeing that stupid sneer gone. Right now, it's all I want.
His face falls unreadable as he holds the items in his hands. I do everything I can not to snatch them out of his fingers, mostly because I don’t want them to rip. Not that I think he’d allow that to happen, though.
I can’t bear to look at him, so my eyes dance to the ground. I should collect the rest of them, but I can’t move. There’s something about seeing them all laid out over the floor -upside down, face up, backwards, diagonal- that feels weirdly good. Maybe because that’s how they are in my mind even to this day.
My eye sneaks back to Jax. He’s completely silent as he slowly goes through the stack, fingers sliding one frame to the bottom of another. It kills me, but his eyes say it all. Pain. Worry. Loneliness.
And he’ll kill me, but my big mouth starts to say it all.
"I miss-"
"Why do you have all these?"
I blink at him in surprise, especially when his eyes bounce from me to the white squares in his hands.
"What do you mean?"
Hopefully the ones he collected off the ground weren’t-
"A lot of these are duplicates."
Rats.
"Y-yeah-"
"You kept all your copies, right?"
"Well, duh."
"So why did you feel the need to keep their-…well, the other copies?"
Suddenly, I’m more irritated than uncomfortable. Jax has no right to question me on how I’ve processed everything. Besides, what’s the big deal? They’re 4x4 photos. They don’t take up that much room. And-
"I couldn’t just throw them out, Jax."
"Even though they are the exact same pictures?"
"...Yeah," I shrug helplessly and rub the nape of my neck. "I dunno. Their sets just feel like different photos than the pictures I have. I can’t explain it."
For a moment, he’s silent. But the second I look back at him, he snorts- and that smirk is back. I’m happy yet instantly irritated by its return.
He moseys over to my sewing desk and sits on the edge of it. I expect him to look my way, but he doesn’t. His eyes stay glued to the pictures in his hands- and all at once, his smirk shifts into a smile again.
"Oh yeah, I forgot," he muses. "You were always the sentimental one between the four of us."
I blink.
The four of us.
Now that’s a phrase I haven’t heard in a while.
My brain goes more scattered than the photos on the floor for a second. I can’t tell if I hate that or love that. Maybe a combination of both. Who knows.
All I do know is I don’t like the conflict bubbling up inside. So let me cause conflict on the outside. It’s way easier to resolve and deal with, heh.
“Well, at least I wasn’t the biggest jerk between us four.”
I expect (heck, even want) an evil eye shot my way. Instead, Jax shakes his head, eyes never leaving the pictures in his hand.
“I dunno. He sure had some zingers.”
My mouth twitches. I make my way over to my desk and sit down in my chair. Like a petulant child, I cross my arms and pretend to pout.
“Not to me, he didn't,” I snap. “And come on. You and I both know who your little sidekick was. Jeez, the mouth she had-”
…Oh.
Oh.
Rats.
Nice job, Ragatha. You definitely couldn’t win any lottery with this luck.
Because how fast his smile drops off his face… ooh, it slices me deep.
“Wait- I didn’t mean to bring...that was really stupid of me to-”
But I cut myself off when his eyebrows pinch and he looks away. Somehow that’s more painful than his worst glare.
His eyes look back at the picture in his hands. A thumb rubs over one side of the photo. And gosh, it hurts so badly to know who’s in that spot in the frame.
His expressive gold eyes start to blink. No, no, no…
Why does he almost look like he’s about to-
“Thread!”
He looks up.
“We need thread! To fix your overalls, heh!”
Brilliant observation, Ragatha. What’s next, the sky is blue?
But my sudden screeching has grabbed his attention again and distracted him, at least. Even more so when I’m up out of my chair and dashing over to my sewing dresser.
“I think I have a spool of coral thread, too, hahaha!” I practically yell again. And ooh, my voice is annoying when it gets this high-pitched. “Let me check!”
I hear his sigh in that melodramatic way of his somewhere behind me. For once, I’m relieved to hear it.
“Whatever. Just make it quick, Dolly. This is already taking longer than I want it to.”
I ignore him and mull through my sewing cabinet, each drawer neatly organized by supplies. I locate my box of thread and dig through it. I have tons of yellow and purple, but not a single coral thread spool. Must have run out of it at some point.
Wait. That box on the high shelf in my closet might have the color I need. I placed all my duplicate spools in there ages ago and shoved it up there to get it out of the way.
…Although now I’m questioning if I was the one who put the box up there. Because I jump on my tiptoes and try to grab it, but my fingers are just out of reach. I stand as tall as I can, and I can swear I hear my seams ripping on my plush back from stretching so far. But still, I just can’t get it.
I’m huffing by the time I get annoyed enough to turn and face Jax. Of course, he’s just sitting still on my desk, smirking again as he makes a point to stretch out his long legs.
The fact he’s been watching me make a fool out of myself makes me blush. Hard.
“You gonna help me get this box up here or not?” I finally snap, straightening my bunched-up dress. “It is your overalls I’m trying to fix, after all.”
He looks up in thought. Wait- scratch that. In pretend thought. Because I know this look way too well.
He clicks his tongue (man, that’s nails on a chalkboard sometimes) and shrugs.
“Nah. I’m having too much fun watching you try to reach it yourself.”
Ooh, he is so annoying! And curse those long legs!
“You’re tall enough to reach it, though!”
He snorts, which just makes me want to choke him. He has the audacity to reach over on my desk (my desk!) and grab my best sewing scissors. I swear to Mod, if he breaks them on purpose, I’ll scream.
“No need to get snippy with me,” he says in that snarky voice, opening and closing the scissors for emphasis.
Now, listen. I’m a gal who loves puns…
But right now, I hate them.
Almost as much as I want to smile.
I shake my head, thankfully stopping my mouth from twitching. Seeing Jax isn't budging, I realize I have two options: find something to climb on to reach the top shelf, or toss the overalls back at him and tell him to get gone. I’m so mad, I’m really leaning toward the latter.
…Wait…
I make myself smirk again. I’m sure it makes me look like I’m trying to pass gas, but it'll have to work.
“I knew it.”
He immediately takes the bait.
“What?”
“You were just dying to spend time with me.”
Instantly, he stiffens and his smirk disappears. Got his attention there.
“What? Just because I-”
“Come on, no need to lie.”
“I’m not!”
“Your face says otherwise.”
Boy, does that work. He’s tossing the scissors and pushing off that desk so fast I’m shocked he hasn’t given himself whiplash. His eyebrows are all pinched together and his face is a shade lighter.
“Shut up, Ragatha,” he hisses viciously as he pushes me out of the way. Gently, I must note. And since when does he actually use my name? “I can’t stand you. That’s public knowledge.”
I don’t say anything. Not that I can. His gloved hands easily retrieve the box (again, curse those long legs!), and now he’s shoving it at me. Spools go flying into my face and out of the box.
As I collect the fallen thread, I shoot him an evil eye, but it misses its target when he doesn’t notice. Still throwing his tantrum, he throws himself back down on the edge of my desk like the oversized toddler he is and crosses his arms.
I ignore his bratty behavior and stumble back over to my desk. After sitting down, I sift through the box. Ah! One large spool of coral!
As I pull my favorite needle out of my pincushion, I feel Jax watching me like a hawk. Maybe he wasn’t lying when he said he wanted to supervise me.
I don’t know why, but it makes me jumpy. Especially when he falls silent. He’s probably still upset from what I said.
But that isn’t a lie!…
Right?
Not that I don’t want it to be a lie…
Right?
“What are you doing?”
Pulled from my mental rambling, I blink at him. His hands are on the edge of the desk, and he’s staring at me again.
“What?”
“Hello? You just turned on your radio?”
…Oh. Gracious, I was so lost in thought my hands instinctively took over again.
I shrug and can’t help but smile.
“I like to listen to music while I sew.”
He snorts dismissively and fiddles with a stray spool of light purple thread.
“That’s stupid.”
“Why?”
“Just is.”
“That’s not a good reason.”
“Well, it is to me.”
I roll my eye. Maybe just to get under his skin again, I turn my radio up a little higher. It’s just a commercial, but I don’t care-
“Hey! Don’t touch my radio!” I growl as he instantly turns the volume back down with a smirk.
Ugh. Why does my radio have to be along the wall where he can reach it? I contemplate moving it, but from my stack of patterns to my assortment of scrap fabric patches, my desk is pretty flooded with supplies right now.
So there my radio stays. I swear it must be as annoyed as I am as I turn it back up, only for Jax to turn it back down.
“Quit,” I hiss, leaving my fingers over the volume dial so he can’t screw with it. “Or just leave-”
“Trust me, I’m itching to,” he snaps, voice suddenly defensive again. He tosses the purple spool, causing it to fall back behind my desk and probably unravel. Great. “So just fix my stupid overalls already!”
I snarl.
“I will once you let me concentrate!”
“Fine!”
“Fine!”
He crosses his arms, and I snatch up his overalls. My lord, he is insufferable!
I mean, I will never understand how Jax can change from one extreme to the next at a drop of a dime. Soft, harsh. Inviting, shunning. Cold, hot. Sometimes extra cold…
Sometimes very hot…
Especially in all black…
Blushing, I stiffly and quickly needle the thread. I pull it through roughly and create a small knot at the end. I force my eyes to stay off the rabbit on my desk as the beginning of a song starts to leak from the radio.
You come over when your wine’s all gone
Always catch me when I’m not that strong
Then you wind up staying all night long
Ain’t nothing new
…And my fingers suddenly lose their speed, epecially as I make the first puncture hole. I slowly pull the thread through, my eye glued to the string as I sit back in my chair.
Then I wake up with you on my chest
You got a way of making me forget
Girl, with you, the answer’s always ‘Yes’
Every time you call
My eye can't help it; it sneaks to Jax. I didn’t notice, but he’s silently leaned himself against the wall. He’s still, arms crossed. The curtains are drawn as his eyelids close.
Just what is he seeing?
Our banter earlier? The entire Spudsy debacle?
Or just…everything?
But I know, yeah, I know it’s a matter of time
’Til you walk, ’til you walk back out of my life
Leave me standing here lonely, feeling like a fool, hmm
Jeez, how haughty can you be to assume he’s only seeing you, Ragatha! He hates you!
Every time, every time you say we’re done
You come back to the love you were running from
Don’t know why, don’t know why I let you, but I do
…Still, I can’t help but wonder if that’s a lie, too.
Especially as his mouth twitches and his body slowly relaxes.
Guess I love chasing after you…
I make my eye go back to my sewing and-
Oh.
I’m… I’m done.
The rip was even smaller than I thought it was. And now, the strap is back firmly attached in place.
Huh.
…I guess he can take them and leave now. Like he want- well, like we both wanted.
My eye sneaks back to him. His hands are resting against his stomach, and he seems relaxed as he rest his head on a shoulder.
For some reason, his calmer mien is enough to make me to quietly set the overalls down- and to reach over to grab Pomni’s blanket, making sure not to disturb him.
And why am I quietly mouthing the next part of the song?
Wish I could quit you, but it feels too good
If I could turn it off, you know I would
But somethin’ ’bout you makes me think we could make it after all.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see his foot move. Then bop to the beat. His mouth twitches again. Or maybe it’s just mine.
But I know, yeah, I know it’s a matter of time
’Til you walk, ’til you walk back out of my life
Leave me standing here lonely, feeling like a fool
Fingers dance over the fabric, pulling the thread. All feels calm. Good.
Every time, every time you say we’re done
You come back to the love you were running from
Don’t know why, don’t know why I let you, but I do
Guess I love chasing after you…
My sewing and mouthing the words comes to a halt as the hook in the song rings out the speakers. I peer up at Jax. His broad chest inhales and exhales deeply, and I find myself matching his rhythm.
And to my utter disbelief, he actually lip-syncs the next words.
You come over when your wine’s all gone
Always catch me when I’m not that strong
Then you wind up staying all night long
Ain’t nothin’ new
He still hasn’t opened his eyes. Maybe I don’t really care what he sees anymore. It’s not any of my business.
The way it isn’t his with what I see when I do the same.
But I know, yeah, I know it’s a matter of time
’Til you walk, ’til you walk back out of my life
Leave me standing here lonely, feeling like a fool
Which honestly isn’t anything. The vision under my eye is blank, just as much as my mind suddenly is.
Yeah, every time, every time you say we’re done
You come back to the love you were running from
Don’t know why, don’t know why I let you, but I do
Guess I love chasing after you
Man, does that feel good.
I love chasing after you.
I know I’m smiling for some reason when I finally open my eye. My head had turned at some point, so when I blink, Jax is the first thing I-
Oh.
Oh.
He’s staring at me.
His smile is gone, but not in a bad way. His eyes are half-lidded, but there’s no smirk. His head is still resting on his shoulder, but his body is the most loose I think I’ve ever seen it.
The longer our eyes stay locked, the more secrets those golden windows share. Vulnerability. Safety. Happiness...
And I might just be crazy, but it looks like he’s inviting me inside. Like he wants me inside. Permanently, this time...
And gosh, do I want it, too-
His eyes flash. Mine does, too.
SLAM!
We’re both panting as our hands crash onto the radio’s power button, clicking the music off as the channel slides into the next song. Wide eyes avoid each other desperately as we stare at the small device.
“That song sucked.”
“Oh, defin- I can’t stand- I wish… yeah.”
We fall into a stiff silence, fixating on anything other than each other. My face feels like the color of my hair. Hands take over- and I hesitantly hold out the fixed overalls.
“Here you go.”
Jax blinks and slowly takes them. He pulls them into his lap, looking them over with pinched eyebrows.
“…Thanks.”
“You’re welcome…”
Anytime?
No. This is Jax we’re talking about.
...And gosh, if that isn't the problem.
“Guess we’ve even now, huh?”
Why does he sound as disappointed as I suddenly feel?
“Yeah.”
There’s a knot in my stomach as I fiddle with Pomni’s blanket. Eyeing the coral spool, I gulp. I don’t want to for some reason, but I hesitantly hand it to him.
“Here, take this," I direct gently. "That way you can fix your overalls any time they break.”
Eyebrows lowered even more, he takes the spool but doesn’t say thank you. Not that I’m about to say he’s welcome, either.
Unable to look at him anymore, I stumble to my feet and rush to find something else to fidget with. Anything to get me away from that desk and this heat and definitely these feelings. I try to leave my thoughts behind, but they follow me as I turn my back to him.
“That… that came out wrong,” I finally admit after a moment of deafening silence. “What I meant was you have the thread you now need to fix your overalls. But if at any point you need help, or if, you know, you just don’t feel like doing it yourself...I’ll always assist you. S-sorry if it came out like I wouldn’t.”
Silence.
“A-and if you want any of those other pictures, you can have them. Seriously, take as many of them as you want. I know you kept all your copies too, of course. But you… you can keep hers, too.”
More silence.
“I’m… I’m sorry I didn’t think to offer that until now, Jax. I guess I just… wanted to have something of hers I could hold on to. A part of her to keep close, even. Same with Kauf-”
I turn and freeze.
Jax is gone.
Just walked out of my room with the overalls and coral thread in tow. He had even shut the door without a peep.
Now my room is extra quiet. The knot in my throat, huge. Mind, super loud.
I give a shaky sigh and venture over to the photos still on the floor. I don’t dare look at them. Not that I can. My vision is too blurry.
I half-hazardly collect them into a messy stack and pick them up. I stand and go to set them on my dresser-
…Huh?
No, that can’t be right.
I set the messy stack down and get on my hands and knees. I look under my desk. Then my bed. Everywhere a few dozen pictures could’ve fallen.
But after searching and coming up empty-handed, I can’t just deny it.
One stack of pictures is completely missing…
And it appears I’m not the only sentimental one between the four of us.
The smile I’ve been biting back finally surfaces as I pick up the box of spools and turn to face my closet. Oops. I need to figure out just how to get the box back up onto the shelf.
…Wait.
Maybe I can go grab Jax and convince him to help-
What? No, no!
Ragatha, you don’t need his help!...He probably wouldn’t even assist you anyway! And even if he did, do you really want to owe him something again? It’s Jax!…
And gosh, if that still isn't the problem.
I roughly shake my head and look around my room. Okay, plan B. I venture over to my bed and start to shove the box underneath-
Huh? What’s this?
Feeling resistance, I lean down. Seeing some sort of fabric, I pull it out from under my bed. As I unfold it, I realize it’s a blanket of some sort…
…Oh wait!
I totally forgot about this! I was working on it for… well, her… before everything happened.
My eye and fingers run over the soft green and red fabric. A sad thumb rubs over the stitching and-
Wait.
I don’t remember using that color thread.
That…
Color…
Thread…
I’m not exactly sure why, but my mind starts racing to nowhere. It only goes silent the second my eyes land on my desk.
On my abandoned sewing scissors, to be exact.
…What? No!
Are you crazy?! You are not thinking of doing that, Ragatha! There are seamstresses all over the world who wish they had your selection of thread- and here you are thinking of destroying some of yours already stitched into a quilt? On purpose?
No. No. I’m not doing that!
...I eye my bedside clock. It's only a little after nine, though.
Rats. That's all my body needs to know to completely rebel.
Because my feet pick me up. My legs carry me over to the desk. One hand holds the quilt, the other picks up the scissors.
My throat clears itself as my hand snips the coral thread holding parts of the blanket together. My fingers yank the string for good measure. Looks like a terrible accident if I ever saw one.
“Oh, no,” my mouth decides to say- lying through my teeth. "That's too bad. Now I have to get this fixed."
…None of that is me or my decision. Just so we’re clear.
It’s against my will that I’m rushing out my room door, only to turn back and grab my radio. It’s also not my idea to zip into the hallway and dash to stand before Jax’s room door in less than a second.
It is, however, my choice to gulp nervously as my hand raises to knock and-
Oh!
Jax has opened the door just as my hand makes contact with it.
Heh. How awkward.
We share a stunned silence as our wide eyes lock for a second. Slowly, my eye dances down to his hand. He’s holding…
A dictionary?
Where in the world is he going with that?
Apparently he doesn’t want me to ask, because he immediately hides it behind his back. His aggravated scowl is framed by blushing, embarrassed cheeks, but I don't focus on that for long.
On his head, he's wearing-
His Spudsy's hat?
Wait. So he did keep his, too?
And that realization makes my mind go rambling.
Why did he do that? Did that adventure mean something to him, too? And why is he wearing it now? Is it because he knew I kept mine? Or is it because I said the world (I might be 'the world') needs more of him wearing it?
Is he happy to see me? Does he want me here? Does he think it's weird I just showed up-
"What?”
His voice tries to come out sharp but it doesn't. It's like it can't. It's hard to explain, but underneath is a clear invitation he doesn't want to verbally extend but can't force back.
And for whatever reason, that instantly make my mind cease thinking. My body, relaxed.
Ah. The silence feels good.
Maybe it's my call that I smirk again and gently toss the quilt at him.
“Fix this. Er, please.”
Jax looks over the blanket for a moment. I’m shocked he doesn’t bark at me. In fact, he doesn’t say anything. Not that he needs to.
His vulnerable, safe, happy eyes say it all as he smirks and moves out of the way so I can come inside.
“How did you even rip-”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“Kinda does.”