Chapter Text
bzz. bzz.
A small orange paw turns the phone the right way around, taking a moment to process who was dialing. Not soon after, she excitedly picks up the call: "Hey, Aunt Trixie!"
On the other side of the call was a mass of sniffles of and sobs, Bingo hearing her taking one big breath before speaking. "Hey Bingo," she replied, her voice breaking through every syllable. Her gasps and hiccups, fighting for air amidst her cry, didn't help her case. "Is Bandit nearby, honey? Can- can you give the phone back to your father.?"
"Um.. my mum's next to me." The sound of the phone shifting around was loud against Trixie's car speaker. It took a moment, faint mumbles between two dogs could be heard before another voice would enter the phone.
"Trix? Everythin' okay?" It was Chilli, her voice clearly filled with worry.
"Chilli, I-I'm-" She paused, giving a heavy sniff and swallowing to regain her composure. "I'm swinging b-by your place, yea? If my kids can play with yours for a bit-"
"Hey, tell me what happened!" She felt close to tearing up herself, having never heard the woman in such a state before.
"I'll be there i-in five.. three.. just get Bandit on the phone.." Her voice got increasingly incoherent, flooded with tears. "..please." She broke once again, being heard weeping. She turned up the music volume to a faint level, trying to focus on the road ahead before she crashed. She looked in the rearview mirror, her kids in the backseat who were clearly concerned, but still scared to speak after Trixie's earlier howl at them to quiet down. "Are you two alright.?" she asked, to which she only received quick head nods in response.
A couple bumps and brushes played from her phone, hearing Chilli give someone, assumedly her husband, an anxious rundown about the little she knew. The microphone picked up the voice of Bandit, who spoke with a calm, though confused, tone.
"Trix? Ya' doin' alright?"
She took another shaky breath to try and calm herself, speeding up across the straight road on track to the Heelers' house. "Is Stripe there?"
"Mm.. no.?" He cleared his throat before continuing. "Did somethin' happen between you two?"
"..He didn't tell you.?" It felt a little shocking, her eyes widening as her foot began to press on the pedal even further. She could hear her kids whimpering behind her, the speed frightening them.
"Tell me what-?" There was some scrambling with the phone, other faint voices heard in the distance. Staying quiet, she could make out a voice as Bluey's, though the only voice clear enough to comprehend was Bandit's. "Yea, it's Trix - No, Bluey, I can't right now.. - It's - This isn't the time!" He yelled, taking the situation seriously.
"Bandit-" Trixie tried getting his attention again, looking at the houses ahead of her
"Yeah?" He responded almost immediately.
"I'll be at your house in a second.." She thought for a moment, looking in the mirror again. "I don't want the children to hear anythin'.."
"Got it." On the other side of the phone, he had practically leaped off his chair, running through the hallway and over the stairs. He found his wife in the living room alongside Bingo, notifying her that Trixie was nearby.
The two adults of the house both made their way to the entrance, acting casually in telling their kids that their cousins would be visiting. Bandit looked through the door's window, watching headlights start to near in the dark-blue sky. He opened and snuck out the door, escaping the stress bubbling through the family.
"Mum?" Bluey asked, a bit troubled at the scene.
"Yes?"
"Did something happen to Aunt Trixie?" She stood next to her little sister, hugging her slightly as they both looked up to their mum curiously.
"Uh, well.." Chilli pondered for a moment. "I don't.. exactly know what happened either.." She looked back out the window, taking a glance at Bandit hugging his sister-in-law as he helped get the children out the car. Trixie looked a mess. "I think this is an adult talk.. so maybe it's better for you all to go upstairs.."
"Mum- but I'm twelve-" Bluey argued.
"Please.." there was distress in her eyes, a pleading full of unease. It was an emotion neither of the children had seen from her, at least never this much of it.
The door opened, Socks and Muffin entering woefully. With a begging look from her mother, Bluey led all the children upstairs, giving one last glance of worry before giving them their privacy.
Chilli opened the door further, finding her husband almost dragging the sobbing dog closer to the entrance. The Red Heeler assisted in getting her through the door and settled on a nearby couch. She quickly left to get a glass of water from their kitchen, leaving the two to work some things out quickly.
Bandit held her, not knowing much of what to do, but still concerned about what happened to his little brother. Although he needed Trixie to calm down, the mystery burned in him.
"Hey.. Trix," he weakly said, barely gathering the attention of the latter. "Can you tell me what happened?" He spoke softly, reassuringly as he sat on the armrest next to her.
"I-I'm sorry," Trixie stuttered in-between breaths. "I didn't want him to- to- I didn't think-"
"Slow down- hey.. breathe.." He gave her a moment, hugging her from the side once again. Despite acting calmly, he had gradually become rather alarmed.
The dog took slow breaths, unable to control herself, but she knew Stripe mattered to his brother just as much as he did to her. She had to tell him before it was too late. "You- you know Stripe- he- he- hurts himself.."
All of Bandit's self-control immediately drained. It was the one thing he hadn't hoped for - the one memory he always wished to forget.. a bloody memory that haunts him any time he even thinks about his brother.
His embrace with Trixie suddenly ended as he forced the woman to look at him, an uncomfortable grip on her shoulders. His eyes were filled with angst, maw slightly agape as his breathing became heavy.
"Stripe..?"
"I'm sorry.." The grey-furred Heeler was barely able to mutter, she managed to stop crying, at least for the moment. "This is my fault.."
Chilli came down hurriedly with a glass of water in paw, noticing the new tense atmosphere around them. She slowed her pace, listening in on their conversation as they still hadn't taken note of her presence.
"I.. asked for a.. a divorce.." Guilt covered her face, closing her eyes slightly in a flinching-motion as if expecting Bandit to be enraged towards the confession. They hadn't really grown to be close friends over time, but she knew how much Bandit loved his brother. Calling him about this situation was truly one of her final options, but she swore to Dog she would rather take the hit than letting Stripe end his own life. "He's- he's gone- I don't know where he's went off to.."
"..what did he do to himself?" Bandit deprecated. At the moment, he didn't necessarily care that Trixie and him had ended things, nor any of the details of who did what - he needed to find him.. quick.
"T-there was.. blood. On his bed.." Trixie began to get teary-eyed once more, looking away to lock eyes with Chilli. She knew the only dogs who knew about Stripe's practice in self-harm was Bandit and herself; realizing she had let the secret loose managed to break her once again, tears dripping down her already matted fur.
Bandit had stood up, paw to his muzzle in disbelief as he walked a few steps away, unable to think straight.
"Y-you two divorced?" Chilli questioned, a bit shocked at the idea. The two had disputes every now and then, but never once thought they'd take that step to end it completely. She came forward, putting a paw on the top of Trixie's head as she hovered the glass of water in front of her.
"I never meant for it to happen-!" Trixie jerked. "I just had the papers - I never gave it to him, I-I was giving him an- a- another chance!" She cracked with every other word, shuddering breaths of disgrace. "I-I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry," she hiccuped, hunching over with her head in her paws.
Chilli couldn't respond - she didn't know what to think. She leaned over, placing the glass of water on the ground as she tried to hug the other, only getting pushed away.
"I don't deserve- I'm- I-" Trixie stumbled, drowning in her own tears.
The house was quiet, disturbed by the sobs and sniffles of the Heeler. Light was beginning to run low, the sun dipping beyond the mountains, casting golden rays through the windows. The children loomed quietly, eavesdropping down the hall yet disheartened at the scene.
"Trix," Bandit reappeared, his car keys in paw as he wiped his face. He tried to flash a comforting smile, but it was obvious he had been crying just seconds prior. "Have ya' checked anywhere e-else for him?"
She shook her head subtly, peeking through her fingers to look at the man. "I-I went to Nana's.. t-then to his house."
"I'll try lookin' for him.." he assuaged, plodding closer to the two women as he neared the front door. He embraced Chilli in a rigid hug, uncontrollably gripping her tighter through his stress and burying his face in his wife's neck to hide himself. With the feeling of starting to break again, he could only manage to pathetically whisper: "don't expect me to be back home tonight.."
"Stay safe.." Chilli whispered, clutching onto her husband's fur as she kissed his neck tenderly.
Bandit let go, waving goodbye as he slipped through the door. He looked through the crack, watching the Red Heeler comfort their guest, who still sobbed quietly into her paws. He shut the door, closing his eyes to take a breath.
It was a chilly night, the wind blowing against him. He didn't know how long he had, and that was what scared him the most. The fact that Stripe could be anywhere - what if he couldn't find him in time.
Bandit rushed to his car, trembling as he struggled to get his mind to focus on one thing. Where he could go first, who he could call, anything at all he could've started with. He turned on the engine, struggling to get his seatbelt to click. In the privacy of his car, he couldn't help but to just let everything go.
Tears rolled down his eyes as he drove around the cul-de-sac onto the road, wiping his eyes every now and then to keep his vision clear. The straight road felt like it looped, his mind going hazy. He just couldn't bear thinking about it.
He started to slow the car as he dialed his mum - the first dog he thought of - letting the sound of the ringing clear his head. He could barely focus on driving.
"Bandy?" A soft voice came through the phone.
"Mum- hey," he spoke clearly, a sign of distress in his voice. "Have ya' seen Stripe recently?"
"Well, Trix just picked up his kids from here," she spoke happily; untroubled. Bandit decided not to tell her anything unless things were for certain, it was better for her not to worry. "How ya' doin', Bandy?"
"Great. Um, could you answa' my question?"
"Oh- what's with ya' hurry? Did ya' find out about his divorce?" She snickered a bit. On the outside, she didn't seem particularly bothered by the fact, but she did feel some sort of concern about the situation.
"He told ya' first?" Bandit remarked. Though it did make sense, he always believed his brother was closer to him rather than their mother. Despite their quarrels, he and Stripe were always on the same team. If anything, he felt a bit dispirited.
"Ah, you know him. He said he'd be embarrassed to tell ya', thought you'd make fun of him or somethin' like that," there was a smile in her voice, making light of the situation she wasn't aware of. "Anyway. Bandy, when can I see my grandch-"
He hung up, taken aback by what his mother had told him. He didn't care if Stripe came to him first or not, but the thought lingered in his mind why his brother couldn't trust him enough. He had stopped teasing him so hard. He treated him kindly. He kept his promise..
Bandit's mind flashed back to that night, decades back. He was sixteen, Stripe just turned fifteen.
In their old house, living down South. He was still somewhat of a pest, but less often after he learned his own lesson to quit bugging Stripe - he knew he was being annoying, and he knew sometimes he crossed the line, but he was always willing to take steps back if he went too far.
It was close to midnight. Their parents were asleep in their room. Radley was out in college. The two youngest brothers owned rooms across from each other, and something just urged him to talk to Stripe that night. He knew his little brother was depressed, and he didn't exactly know what he was supposed to do about it. It just felt good to cheer him up every now and then.
Bandit slowly turned the knob of the bedroom, checking if he was asleep first and foremost. The light was on at his desk, Stripe's back turned towards the door. He opened it more to let himself slip in, the door creaking as Bandit flinched at the noise.
Stripe jumped, throwing something before hiding himself. "Shit- Bandit! Get out-!"
He chuckled a bit at scaring him so effortlessly, eyes locked on the door's distance from its frame as he tried to quietly close it. He could hear the whines of his brother behind him, muffled whimpers that Stripe couldn't hide.
"Bandit! Leave, now." His urgent tone made the older Heeler turn around, immediately spotting a splotch of blood on the desk, as well as Stripe's ears poking from behind the bed.
"S-Stripe-?" He immediately rushed across the room, searching for his little brother. "Hey- are you okay?" He couldn't grasp what the blood could've possibly been from. A nosebleed? Did he get cut on something? "Stripe-"
Behind his bedframe loomed the dark shadows, hiding the small Heeler somewhat effectively, at least the source of the bleeding. "Go away.." He quietly whimpered.
"Dude- what? At least let me help ya'," Bandit took another glance at the blood on the desk, still questioning it, before looking down at Stripe on the floor and offering a paw.
"Get out.. please." He had an anxious tone, gripping his arm tightly.
"I'm still your older brotha', Stripey.!" He said with a smirk, looking into the eyes of those hidden by the darkness. "Come on, I just wanted ta' talk with ya'."
The latter shut his eyes, hesitating as he leaned his head against his bedframe, paw still gripping at his opposite arm. His actions were starting to worry his older brother, clearly hurt.
Bandit crouched down, having trouble trying to adjust to the shadowy light so quickly, he took one of his brother's arms and swung it around his neck, bringing his body closer as he picked up Stripe, nudging him onto the bed. He felt something warm dripping onto the fur of his nape, not fully processing it in the moment.
Stripe looked ashamed. As soon as his brother let go of his body, he moved to cover his arm again, looking at the floor.
"Want me ta' help ya' there?" He pointed towards the clear injury, which he got a shameful head-shake in return. Bandit became a little irritated at his unusual lack of communication, sitting on the bed next to him, shoulder to shoulder, eying the obvious blood-stained spot. "What'd ya' even do?"
"Don't tell anyone.. Bandit."
"What?" He was genuinely confused, watching as his brother slowly removed his paw from the wound, uncovering multiple strips of-.. Bandit's soft smile dropped as he snapped his head towards the desk, seeing a pocket knife still unsheathed under the desk. His eyes darted back to his younger brother in shock. "S-Stripe.."
"Please.. please don't tell anybody.." He looked into Bandit's eyes pleadingly, shamefully. "Not Rad, not Mum, not Dad.." He started to tear up, the older brother still frozen in shock. He couldn't think.. he couldn't..
"Shit-!"
Bandit stomped on the brake pedal as the intersection lights flashed red.
His thoughts were flooded with Stripe and he couldn't handle it anymore. He cracked a window open, getting a breath of fresh air as he waited for the streetlight cycle to finally let him through. It was difficult to think, the Heeler still didn't know where he was driving. Taking a moment to recollect himself, figuring out where he was especially, he remembered a park they had visited just a year or two ago was coming up ahead.
It was the park he and Trixie had gotten married in: it would make sense for him to be there, wouldn't it? Grieving his divorce.. that's what he would do.. nothing worse.
He took a left turn, taking a parking spot close to the park-entrance, pausing for a minute to catch his breath. It was pitch-black out, the hopes of finding Stripe amidst the forested park was probably low. He looked around, Stripe's car nowhere to be found.
He hesitated on exiting his car or not; between wasting time or taking the risk on the small chance his brother was out here, he'd rather not spend the night walking through the park.
Bandit tapped on his phone again, dialing his older brother - Radley. He wasn't the type to answer his calls, still working a job overseas. His phone rang, filling the silence of his dark car. Before he knew it, the call passed.
He looked through his call history, searching for dogs that had any connection with Stripe at all. Pat lived next door and probably would've told him. Fido was most likely a no. Pat again. Nana.. - Chilli. - Frank - Pat - Stripe..
His mind wandered back to a call just days prior, one he was barely listening in on. It was practically the middle of the night, a Tuesday as well. Stripe asked him drunkenly to come over to his house.. it made sense now. He knew Stripe was somewhat of a drinker, but he found it odd that his tone felt so dark. He knew now.. Stripe wanted to tell him.
"Swing by whenever.. I need someone right now." Stripe- don't do this to me.! He remembered, despite the call feeling like a hazy blur, it came back to him like a bullet. A shot striking directly in his chest as he felt the fur around his eyes start to soak once again.
Bandit started to drive again, his thoughts scrambled again as he turned onto the main road. He felt numb and cold, his paws turning the wheel on their own as he started to drift away in his own heavy thoughts.
I told him I'd be here for him. I promised..
He rounded a corner sharply, his tires screeching along the way. A few cars honked at him as he started speeding up, going beyond the limit. His eyes were full of tears, barely recognizing the road he was on.
I promised.. he promised he'd stop..
A flurry brewed inside him, making him nauseous. Bandit thought of anything and everything - he knew he could never stop Stripe, but only in the moment. He knew he was supposed to be there for him before he committed even further. He knew it would be his fault. The lights of a bright gas station glared in his eyes, making him swerve a bit.
Please, Stripe.. I still need you.
Entering a suburban area, he began to slow down. He snapped out of his trance, familiar with the first few houses he had passed by - Stripe's house was just up ahead. It was at least two hours since Trixie had come here.. and- "Stripe's car-!"
Bandit quickly parked on the road next to the house, snatching his essentials before rushing out. He ran to the front door, unlocking it with the spare key Stripe had given him years ago.
Immediately, as he opened the door, he flinched at the strong scent of alcohol. It didn't stop the adrenaline pumping throughout him, legs moving on their own as he called out, panicked: "Stripe! Are you here!"
His tears continued flowing freely, losing hope. He walked through doorways, searching for any signs of the dog. "Stripe- please!" The house looked a mess, but he hardly noticed. Broken glass littered the counter of the kitchen, papers were strewn about in the living room, a wooden chair along with some smaller items were broken and piled into a corner, some cracks and holes in the walls around it.
"Stripe!" His shout cracked, his vision blurry. Glancing down the hallway, left and right from room to room, he made his way towards the master bedroom, its door slightly agape. The entire house was dark and quiet, but the room just up ahead emanated a frightening aura.
Bandit's fingers wrapped around the edge of the door, slowly creaking it open. "..Stripe?" To his dismay, he found nothing. His eyes immediately widened as he picked up the scent of blood, making the Heeler tremble to the point he gripped tightly against the door for support, legs weak.
His mind went blank, an empty stare as he crawled deeper inside the room - the smell of blood became more prominent.
Inching closer, he writhed at the ideas of how his little brother handled himself. He felt sick to his stomach. He could see it then: Stripe laying unconscious on one side of the bed. He could hear the young voice of the boy he knew so dearly, begging him not to come any closer. He could imagine the tear-stained sheets, the bloody knife, the lifeless body.
Bandit shook uncontrollably as he leaned his back against the mattress, unable to look behind him, unable to register if what he saw was true. He couldn't feel himself at all, coiling up in the corner between the bed frame and the side table. He couldn't help but cry.
Please, Stripe.. he was barely able to mutter, his eyes shut, shivers running down his whole body as he grieved. He didn't know what else he could do.
I can't live with you gone.