Work Text:
“You show that old tinker what’s what, sweetheart!”
Jim turns round in his chair so quickly he’s pretty damn certain he pulls a muscle, but he couldn’t possibly care less. Oh boy, this is going to be good.
Jaylah had just reported to him for duty for the first time ever, and her and Scotty were about to leave when that escaped Bones’ mouth. While shocked silence descends over the bridge, Jim does his utmost not to burst out into laughter - but it’s really, really hard.
“I’m - I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I just, I-”
Poor Bones. It's really no wonder he's trying to take back the term of endearment; Jim vividly remembers that one time he called Uhura sweetheart, and from the nervous glances Bones now casts in her direction, so does he. Uhura doesn’t notice; her eyes are trained on Jaylah, closely observing her reaction. Jim follows her gaze, and notices Jaylah doesn’t look angry, just confused.
Bones is still muttering his apologies. “Sweetheart just sometimes slips out, you see, but I never meant for it to sound-“ but Jaylah cuts him off.
“Explain to me this word, Leonard Bones.”
Jim can’t believe his own luck. With an ear-splitting grin spreading across his face, he turns to Bones, who is now about as red as Jaylah’s brand new Starfleet shirt. Jim can't help going “Yes, Bones - do explain.”
Bones glares at him before turning back to Jaylah.
“Sweetheart - you see, it’s not, y'know, something I mean in a condescending way -“ Uhura huffs at that, but Bones soldiers on.
“It’s an old-fashioned word, but I grew up with it. It means that you are, or, have, a sweet -“
“How would you know what my heart tastes like? I do not know what my heart tastes like, Leonard Bones,” Jaylah interjects.
“No, no - calling someone sweet doesn’t meet they taste sweet. It’s a way of expressing appreciation. It means the person is kind, and good. It means they have a beautiful soul.”
Jim glances over at Spock, curious to see what he thinks of this most illogical of explanations - but to his surprise, he catches Spock already looking at him. He averts his gaze when he notices Jim’s attention, but he could swear Spock looks caught. Or shy. Interesting, he thinks.
Bones is still going. “It’s a word to indicate friendship, and -“
Jaylah interrupts him again. “Is James Tee also sweetheart?”
Jim had done a stellar job of containing his glee up to this point, if he says so himself, but now he just loses it, as does most of the bridge crew. After a minute or two he’s composed himself enough to turn to Bones, though he’s still wiping tears from the corners of his eyes.
“Well, Bones - am I a sweetheeaart?” he asks, drawing out the last word, fluttering his lashes in mock-seduction.
Bones shoots him a withering glare, before turning back to Jaylah. “No. Jimbo here isn’t a sweetheart - he’s just a handful.”
Jim smiles; he can’t disagree with that. And he decides Bones has probably suffered enough; as much as he enjoys poking fun at his friend, he doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable. Or, well - not too uncomfortable.
“Okay everyone, Bones' unfortunate vocabulary choices aside, let’s get this show on the road. Mister Sulu, report please.”
While Sulu goes through the technicalities, Jim looks around his bridge. Uhura is shaking her head, but from where he’s sitting he can tell one of the corners of her mouth is turned up into a little smile. Bones still looks positively murderous, while Chekov happily winks at him. Spock, however, has turned to his station, his back straight and tense, and Jim is convinced the tips of his ears have turned ever so slightly greenish. Oh man. If just hearing the word explained has this effect, Jim wonders what calling him sweetheart will do. He can’t wait to try it out.
“Right, let’s get a move on, lassie.” As Scotty moves for them to leave the bridge, Jaylah turns back to Bones.
“I will see you later, sweetheart.”
Jim’s mouth falls open, and he can barely hold it together - but then she looks at him.
“Goodbye, Captain Handful.”
And then it’s Bones’ turn to bend double laughing.