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That dream again.
“No! Stop! Please!”
That nightmare that repeats on an endless loop.
“I’m sorry Kyo…”
Both when he’s asleep, and awake, this fear torments him. It strips him down to nothing but his raw emotions with no smiles or pleasantries to hide behind.
“Don’t leave!”
It burns his scar, it itches the bracelet on his arm…
And in an instant, the vision halts but its ramifications echo throughout Kyo Sawashiro’s waking world.
He sits up in bed, in a puddle of sweat. His eyes dart around the darkness frantically, seeing nothing but shadows and vague outlines in the blackness looking back at him.
With a sigh, he rises from his position, and exits his room in a frantic frenzy.
First stop is Reina’s room. She’s sleeping tight and snoring as usual, Pristimon not too far from her on the bed doing the same.
He quietly leaves, careful to not make a peep loud enough for a mouse to hear.
Next is Makoto, slumbering peacefully, with Chiropmon watching over him from his bedside.
The bat-like creature looks to him, and delivers a silent nod, no words needing to be spoken between them. Chiropmon knows the human’s purpose here, and is aware it must stay a secret just between the two of them for the time being.
The newest member of Kyo’s family is his destination thereafter. Tomoro used to lock his door, making it hard for Kyo to ease his conscience without the need for more invasive tactics, but luckily at some point that stopped when the rookie cleaner finally accepted his place in the Glowing Dawn, so Kyo can peek in on him just like the others.
He’s snoring loud, much like Reina, with earbuds falling from his sleeping form and blasting music nearby. Gekkomon, the odd one of the bunch, has his tail wrapped around his Saponushi’s arm, snuggling it as if it was a beloved plushie or security blanket, all the while cartoonishly whispering to himself about hamburg steak and cheesy eggs.
Tomoro and Gekomon seem to be getting along so well lately, and that brings a smile to Kyo’s face. He wants so bad to drape a blanket over the sleeping boys, but he must be strong and fight the urge as he shuts the door behind him.
Kyo makes his way into the common area of the Glowing Dawn’s base and lets his body drop to the couch behind him. He pulls up an older looking handheld monitor, a model that isn't in much use anymore since Sapotama are capable of doing just about everything.The only benefit it has over modern technology is not being on a surveyable network the Ministry of Civil Protection can access.
He switches the screen on, and after taking a moment to load and process its directions, shows a live feed of the hideaway Kyo founded for all the Digimon Glowing Dawn has rescued from abusive or exploitative Saponushi.
The baby Digimon are all soundly asleep in their beds, save a few nocturnal monsters quietly playing on the bottom floor.
“Botamon… Curimon… Poyomon… Jyarimon…” he mutters to himself as he flips through the different feeds.
One by one, Kyo takes the next hour to check in on every sleeping Digimon. Once his mental checklist is complete, he lets out a tired sigh and switches off the monitor, letting it go from his grasp and gently letting it fall onto the cushion next to him.
“That nightmare again huh?” A familiar voice asks.
Turning his head slightly, Kyo sees the form of his big cat-like partner, Cougarmon, stroll into the room.
“Afraid so…” Kyo nods, donning his usual soft and gentle smile.
Once Cougarmon is in the room proper, he notices the small device lying within Kyo’s perimeters.
“Checking on the little ones too?” He asks, a pointedness lingering in his words.
“Yeah.. you know how I am,” Kyo laughs, “Wouldn’t be able to sleep a wink if I didn’t make sure they were all safe and sound,”
“...And what about-” Cougarmon starts.
“I checked on the others too,” Kyo answers.
“...I was going to ask why you never go to check on me,” the feline finishes.
“...Well that's because I know you’ll always be there. No need for me to check.”
“...Thats not some dig on how much I sleep, is it?” The Digimon laughs.
“Of course not! I’m jealous of how much you get to rest, you always look so peaceful,” Kyo chimes back.
Cougarmon gently picks up the handheld device sitting next to Kyo with his maw, moving it out of harm's way before taking its place next to his partner.
“What makes me different from the others? You know they would never leave you,” Cougarmon states.
“...No I don’t know that, not for sure” Kyo mutters, the smile on his face fading.
“But they look up to you-”
The Digimon is interrupted once again, but this time by the sudden feeling of his partner falling into his fluffy side.
“I’m not worried about them, Cougarmon. I’m worried about other factors- ones outside my or anyone else's control,”
“But I don’t understand, why worry about something if you know it's outside of your control?” Cougarmon asks.
“...”
Soon the sound of rhythmic breathing fills Cougarmon’s ears, leaving the question he had asked unanswered and fallen on unhearing ears.
Cougarmon opens his mouth to speak, but then stops himself.
Knowing his Saponushi must be exhausted, he settles into his spot on the couch, not wanting to move an inch and risk waking his sleeping partner.
“We’ll talk later…” he thinks to himself, “Later…”
…
When the morning birds sound their usual greetings, Cougarmon stirs in a half asleep twilight, before he is pulled awake by the realization his body isn’t weighed down by the mass of Kyo’s head.
Before he can wonder whether Kyo has returned to his room or gotten up with the sun, he has his answer with the sound of pots and pans clattering, and the smell of the human’s breakfast wafting from the next room.
With a rougher, sleepier start, Cougarmon stands from his static position and moves toward the source of the noise flooding his senses.
“Oh good morning, Cougarmon!” The leader of the Glowing Dawn chimes, responding quickly to Cougarmon’s presence as if he has a hyper sensitive detector in the back of his head.
“Good morning… You're up early,” Cougarmon greets back.
“Yeah, well I thought I’d make breakfast,” Kyo beams.
“Huh.. I thought it was Reina’s turn to cook,”
“It was. But since I was just laying around anyway, I thought I’d relieve her of her duties for the day,”
“Well thats-” Cougarmon starts.
“What smells so good, ya know?” The scratchy voice of Gekkomon interrupts.
“Kyo! You really didn’t have to do that! You need your rest!” Reina whines, entering the room right behind the two boys and their Digimon.
“Hey I don’t mind! Kyo’s food tastes way better than yours anyway, you know!” Gekkomon croaks.
“Quiet you!” Reina barks in retaliation.
“Its fine,” Kyo chuckles sitting down a plate, “I just felt like cooking,”
“Yeah but…” Reina starts.
“I said don’t worry about it,” their leader chimes, “Go wash up, everything will be ready shortly. The tea for Pristimon is almost done brewing, too,”
“Okay, if you insist,” Reina relents, leaving the room to do as directed.
“Kyo! Do you want help setting the table?” Makoto asks eagerly.
“I’ve got it, you can just relax. I need you all in tip top shape for today's mission,”
“R-Right,” Makoto nods.
As Kyo continues preparing the morning meal, the other members of the Glowing Dawn take their usual seats.
Cougarmon watches as Kyo works, hyper focused on the way he moves, the way he breaths, and the ever so slight droopyness of his eyes.
“...”
But before long his Saponushi faces his way, and Cougarmon silently breaks from his fixated stare, so as to not worry his partner. He plops down at his usual spot next to Kyo’s chair.
…
“Go! Wolvermon!” Reina shouts.
The group of adolescent cleaners and their Digimon give chase to a shifty looking man as they run through a vast virtual space with green skies, and various geometric shapes floating in the air. The man holds a duffle bag close to his chest, while the Digimon running alongside him, an adult level Revolmon, occasionally turns around and fires shots at the pursuing children from its gun-like torso.
“Right! Scatter Rocket!” The evolved form of Pristimon shouts in compliance.
After dodging a few shots from the firing Revolmon, the wolverine-like Digimon stops in its tracks and blasts a barrage of projectiles at their target. The human criminal is spared from the brunt of the assault, but is blown back to one side from the impact.
Seeing his Digimon partner is out of commission once the smoke clears, the man cowering in fear, stands to his feet and drops the bag in his possession, attempting to run in the opposite direction.
“Damn! Mako-chan, he’s trying to get away!” Reina shouts at the younger blond boy.
“Chiropmon!” He yells in response.
The bat creature zooms over to the escaping criminal, and without a moment’s hesitation opens its maw and lets out a high pitch squeal.
“Paralyze Echo!”
The criminal’s face contorts in agony as he falls to the ground holding his ears.
“Tomoro-kun, can you restrain him?” Makoto asks as he looks over data scrolling across the screen on his yellow visor.
“Yeah,” He nods.
“I got it, you know!”
Gekkomon jumps over to the knocked out criminal and jets out his long tongue, using it to hog tie the man’s hands and feet together.
“Aww secwure wuu know!” The green Digimon spits with a thumbs up.
“I’ll never get used to how unsanitary that looks,” Tomoro sighs.
…
As the group below wraps up their mission and takes joy in a job well done, they are silently watched from above by a man almost identical looking to the one now in the Glowing Dawn’s custody. The man sits atop a rectangular structure in the mirror world’s digital space, alongside a blue dinosaur-like creature wearing what looks to be military gear.
“Commandramon! Lock on the target,” The man orders.
“Yes sir,” the Digimon obeys, raising the gun in its possession and pointing it at the crowd on the ground.
The Commandramon focuses its sight, not on their child advisories, but instead on the man being held captive.
The army clad Digimon watches as Gekkomon releases the man from its tongue and Tomoro properly binds him with a thick rope.
Next, the Digimon sees Reina walking over and collecting a small Choromon, the de-digivolved form of Commandramon’s former ally.
“What are you doing?” The man growls coldly, “Take the shot!”
“...” The Digimon lowers its gun, the determined look on his face replaced with one of sorrow.
“That was an order! Take the shot! We can’t risk that idiot leaking all of our info! He’s a liability!”
“But sir… he’s your brother…”
“Oh the monster suddenly cares? Now of all times you’ve suddenly grew a moral backbone-”
“You make me sick!”
Before the criminal can fully wind back his hand to strike the child level Digimon, his neck is suddenly and swiftly locked into a choke hold by none other than Kyo, appearing out of a small rift Murasamemon tore in the fabric of the Digital plane’s space.
“...He’s your family, isn't he? And this is how you treat him?” Kyo asks with a chilling coldness.
The criminal kicks his legs as Kyo lifts him off the ground. He struggles to no avail as Kyo’s grip gets tighter and tighter.
“...!”
As the man opens his mouth, the Cleaner pulls back an arm and delivers a hard strike that makes both Murasamemon and Commandramon flinch in sympathy.
After the punch, the man goes limp and Kyo drops him to the ground like he was throwing away garbage in the street.
“I need to go to the Nirinso Shelter. Tell the others to clean up here,” Kyo says, turning from the unconscious man and going on his way.
“R-right,” Murasamemon nods before looking over at the Commandramon. Once it meets his gaze, the lizard Digimon nervously drops its weapon and puts its hands up in the air.
Directing the Commandramon to compress its data to reverent to its baby form, Murasamemon collects the Bombmon and Choromon and follows after his Saponushi, leaving the younger cleaners to secure the human culprits and turn them into the Ministry.
Once at the Nirinso Shelter, Murasamemon sets down the two Baby Digimon in his possession and watches as they hop along to mingle with the others that are scattered across the room.
Murasamemon looks around, seeing no sign of his Saponushi before being directed upstairs by a Punimon.
There, he sees his partner, sprawled out on the ground exhausted from giving all the e-pulse he could to feed the hungry Digimon that call this abandoned building home.
The big cat Digimon enters and Kyo looks over at him with empty, tired eyes, unable to get up from his vulnerable position, even if he wanted to.
But Murasamemon has seen worse. At this point there's no side of his Saponushi the Digimon hasn’t seen.
“Oh Murasamemon,” Kyo manages to let fall from his mouth.
“Seriosuly Kyo,” The Digimon sighs, bending down to push the hair from his human partner’s face, “Just look at you. I thought you said you wouldn’t let yourself get this worn out anymore,”
“Nagging at me like a concerned partner,” Kyo laughs half heartedly.
“I am your partner,” Murasamemon barks back.
“No, not like Saponushi and Digimon. You’re acting like a concerned wife with a drunkard husband,”
“What's the difference,” Mursamemon sighs with a roll of his eyes.
“Theres a big difference! At least there can be!” Kyo weakly chuckles back.
Cradling his partner’s head in one arm, and throwing his limp legs over the other, the muscular feline creature lifts Kyo off the wooden floor in an effortless motion.
“Let's get you somewhere comfortable,” the Digimon says.
“I’m sorry honey- the boys wouldn’t let me stop at just one!” Kyo slurs.
“You barely have the energy to speak, yet you can joke around just fine,” Murasamemon groans.
“Awww come on! Don’t be such a sour puss,” the Saponushi teases.
Taking him to a mostly empty, and dusty looking storage room of sorts, Murasamemon sets Kyo down on a lone couch in the center of the space.
Once he seems settled, the Digimon takes a communicator from the human’s trousers and pulls a blanket over his body.
His fingers too big for the man-made device, Murasamemon fumbles with the small earpiece clumsily until Makoto’s voice can be heard over its speaker.
“Hello? Kyo?” The young boy answers.
“It's Murasamemon. I just called to tell you Kyo over did it again. He probably won't be okay to walk until morning,”
“Understood. Thank you for telling us. Make sure he gets his rest,” Makoto says back.
“Don’t worry I will,” The big cat sighs before ending the call with the other Cleaner and tossing the earpiece onto a nearby surface.
“What was that?” Kyo asks, seeming dazed.
“I just called back home. I was just telling everyone you won’t be back tonight,” Murasamemon responds.
“You didn’t have to do that!” Kyo gasps, suddenly gaining a second wind and rising from his makeshift bed.
“Settle down!” Murasamemon urges, lying his partner back down.
“But what if they need me-”
“Those kids are strong, they’ll be fine” the Digimon reassures in a soothing tone.
“But what if- what if they-”
The Saponushi attempts to hoist himself up, only to be unable to summon the strength a second time.
“The past is in the past” Murasamemon states, “Your family isn’t going to leave you. Not ever again.”
Kyo lingers for a moment on the big cat’s words, recalling the dream from the previous night once again.
He was all alone. He was a defenseless child in a run down house, and then in an instant a dog for the government walking through life with no meaning.
He can’t go back to those times- those cold times before he found the warmth of family. Before he had anyone but himself to cook for. Before he was strong enough to save the Digimon used for nefarious purposes.
His head is spinning as he recalls that dream- that dreadful past.
That phrase echos through his mind once again.
“I’m sorry Kyo…”
“No, don't leave!” The man finds himself shouting as Murasamemon stands in the doorway to the storage room.
“I’m just going to get you some water. I’ll be right back,” the Digimon answers.
Though his Digimon has definitely seen him worse for wear, Kyo is still embarrassed by his sudden outburst.
Maybe it's due to his tired state that the young man's nightmare mixed with his reality- maybe he really is working himself too hard.
But if it's for his family, he’ll work even harder than this! If it will make everyone smile he’d give up every ounce of vitality pumping through his veins and through his soul.
Moments later, the Digimon returns with the promised refreshment. He helps Kyo sit up with a gentle hand, and guides the cup to his Saponushi’s lips.
“Thank you, Murasamemon,” Kyo says as the big cat takes the now empty cup away.
“You’re welcome,” the Digimon nods.
“Aren’t you tired?” Kyo asks next, gesturing towards his Digimon partner’s appearance, “It takes a lot of e-pulse to stay in that form, doesn’t it? Why don’t you revert back to Cougarmon?”
“I will… soon,” Murasamemon responds.
A silence fills the room. An uneasy kind where both parties are aware that the other has something on their mind.
Despite how close the two are, talking like this has always been difficult.
They’ve always been together, from Kyo’s rambunctious youth to now.
Murasamemon watched as Kyo’s life shifted and changed. He was there for every victory and defeat. For every step forward, and every poor choice that lead to unfortunate missteps.
Murasamemon knows all too well that he is the only being on this planet that can make his Saponushi open up. Kyo guards his heart, not out of mistrust or avoidance, but because he cares about others far, far ahead of himself.
Coming at this cautiously will just make Kyo close himself off more. It's best for the Digimon to just take a deep breath and say what’s on his mind, regardless of how awkward it might make him feel inside.
“Do you… remember when you were young-” Murasmaemon finally starts, “You were brazen, always rushed into things head first,”
“Yeah, I was so immature back then,” Kyo laughs.
“You said you just wanted to fight, regardless of how much it hurt you. You’d fight until you were bloody and bruised. You’d keep going until you couldn’t stand anymore,” The Digimon continues.
“...But fighting for no reason felt empty. Now that I have my family, people to protect, I can finally feel good after a job well done,” the human beams.
“...I see no difference between the way you're acting now, and how you were back then,” Murasamemon blurts out.
“...”
“Reguardless of your reasoning, recklessness is recklessness. You are the same child who ran himself ragged all those years ago, though now you put it under the excuse of doing it for ‘family’.”
“What are you-!” Kyo begins to counter, only to once again collapse under his own weight.
“See what I mean?” Murasememon insists, “I know how much your family means to you. But you're a part of that family too,”
“If it's to keep them smiling, I’d run myself into the ground a hundred times over,” Kyo calmly retorts.
“Well I’m not smiling!”
“...Huh?”
“Seeing you like this, it won't make me smile. Same with Reina, Makoto, and even Tomoro. None of us smile when we see you like this. If our happiness really is your goal, then you’d stop doing this to yourself!”
“You don’t understand!” Kyo barks back.
“How so? If you have something to explain, I’m all ears,” Murasamemon states back.
There is a moment of silence between the Digimon and human, and before long Kyo lets out a sigh and looks up at his muscular feline partner.
“You’re strong. Much stronger than me,” Kyo admits.
Murasamemon pauses, taking in Kyo’s response but obviously beginning to grow weary with his partner’s resistance.
“Makoto always says that he believes Digimon are like a window into their human partner’s ideal self. Or maybe, since I was born from your e-pulse, that means I’m a reflection of the strength you hold? Both theories hold water, but do you know what I think?”
“...What?”
“If you really do think I’m strong, and that's something you lack, then maybe I was made to fill in the gaps. I can be strong in ways you cannot, and you make up for the blind spots in my strength,” The beastman explains.
“...”
“What I’m trying to say is… lean on me. Let my strength be ours. Let me… let me hold on to you, so you don’t have to squeeze so tight.”
Kyo looks his partner up and down before letting out a playful chuckle.
“Did you mean that figuratively or….”
“W-Well… if you hate the idea, I c-can turn back into Cougarmon,” The flustered Digimon stammers, “I-I just did some research on ways to deal with humans in distress and I found a book that said touch can be a way-”
Murasamemon’s Saponushi lets out another round of amused laughter.
“What's so funny?!” Murasamemon shouts.
“Nothing! Nothing!” Kyo insists, “I just think its cute is all,”
Kyo’s laughter slowly peeters out before he begins to speak again.
“Thank you for worrying about me, Murasamemon. And I’m sorry for being difficult,”
“It's fine, as long as you understand…” Murasamemon huffs, avoiding eye contact with his Saponushi.
“I can’t promise I’ll stop acting like this. It's pretty hardwired into me at this point…” Kyo starts before Murasamemon catches his gaze and he smiles ear to ear, “But I’ll try. For you,”
Kyo scoots his body back and gestures for the big cat Digimon to join him on the couch.
“Not just for me,” Murasamemon starts as he climbs onto the makeshift bed, “For yourself too, and your family,”
The cat’s body pushes Kyo deep into the pillows on the back part of the sofa, barely enough wiggle room for him to breath let alone get comfortable.
“I-I’m not sure this will work Murasame-”
Picking up on his Saponushi’s complaint, the perfect level Digimon shifts Kyo, until the human is lying on top of him, cradled in his arms and gently pressed into his physique.
“...This is surprisingly comfortable…” Kyo admits after taking a moment to process the sensation, “I thought your muscles would be hard as rocks. But your soft fur more than makes up for that,”
“Are you trying to embarrass me?” The Digimon grumbles.
“No, no! Sorry,” Kyo laughs.
A wave of comfort and security washes over Kyo as Murasamemon’s grip tightens around his person.
He feels, at this moment, a storm could rage around him and he’d still be held perfectly in place.
“Hey… Murasamemon,” Kyo pipes up as he feels his eyes growing heavier with every passing second, “You know how last night… you asked why I wasn’t worried about you leaving my side?”
“Yes, what about it?” Murasamemon asks as a reluctant hand raises to pet down the back of his partner’s hair.
“It's because… you're a part of me- and you always will be…”
And with that, Kyo is out cold, like the last of his energy left him with those words.
“...And I’ll always be there for you Kyo. All you have to do is lean on me,”
…
Though that dream might come to torment Kyo every now and again, when he wakes up to see Murasamemon, and feels his embrace surround him… The fear stops in its tracks.
All it takes is one look at his partner. One look at his sleepy face and Kyo knows, everything is right where it needs to be.
He knows that even if the world would fall apart, this right here, can never be ripped away from him.
All he needs to do is let himself be held in place, and he drifts back into a peaceful slumber.
~Fin~