Chapter Text
It had been a little over a month since the last time she saw them. She told them about her resignation from Emerson and how tired she was from school. But she didn't tell them about the nightmares. She didn't tell them how every night she wakes up terrified just thinking and remembering the last years of her life in a war against interdimensional monsters, the very monsters of her world dressed in green and the monsters that are still in her head, trying to drive her crazy. She has been focusing on her work, working triple shifts, using her house only to sleep from time to time, even if she constantly looks for an excuse not to do so. It's not that she wasn't tired; in fact, she was, she was exhausted from doubling shifts, tired of memories, tired of thinking, of existing. But to stop doing it, to stop working, to remember... to exist, would mean letting them win. Let the Mindflayer win.
About to get in the car to start her trip to Philadelphia, she realizes that she will have to drive for six hours alone with her mind, that she has also not slept well the last few nights, and that she barely stands up with a couple of cups of coffee and a few cans of energy drink that she carries in the co-pilot's seat.
You can't let them win.
She could give up a quiet and peaceful trip if that meant not traveling alone. She went back to his house looking for the phone, hoping it wasn't too late.
The phone rang 3 times before listening.
"Shit! Who is it?" An agitated voice replied.
"Hello to you too, Robin"
.
"Nance! No, I'm sorry, hello. I'm a little late, and I didn't buy my bus ticket on time, and now I have to get to the station earlier so I can buy one that arrives on time. And then the phone rang, and I ran to answer, but I stumbled upon... I'm sorry, no, you're not interested in this. What did you need? Tell me you're not going to cancel because I just convinced Harrington to cancel a..."
"Robin!"
"I'm sorry, I'm a little nervous, just... just tell me."
"I wanted to know if you needed me to take you."
"That doesn't get you out of the way like... an hour?" Robin asked, confused.
It wasn't that she didn't want to travel 6 hours with Nancy Wheeler, but it didn't seem like a great idea for her fuel, or her car, or her desire to drive.
"Don't worry about that. Besides, apparently you need it right now. And I... I need the company."
"Well then, do you need me to go somewhere? Shall I wait for you here?"
"Smith College is fine. I'll see you in an hour or two."
The call was cut off, and Robin didn't move from the phone for a couple more minutes. Nancy was his friend; they had gone through a lot of things together, which gave them a connection that they could never have with any other girl. That is, for a moment with Vickie, she believed that sharing the trauma would unite him more to her, but in the end, she just gone. Maybe Vickie wasn't ready to carry it. Robin also sometimes felt that he couldn't with that burden.
She has always been an anxious mess since she was a child, always biting her nails, talking non-stop, and feeling too much. But since she met the whole troop that was fighting against Vecna... it's as if all the things that used to make her anxious were so, so small. Except, of course, women. No matter how many pretty girls there were in Smith, each of them give her goosebumps.
But none like Nancy Wheeler.
.
Six hours on the road (seven and a half for Nancy), three uncomfortable silences, three cans of Red Bull later, they are finally arriving in Philadelphia.
"Hey Nance, are you sure you're okay? You've been shaking the last hour." Robin asks, worried.
"Have you ever tried the Red Bull?"
"Eh, no. My mother never let me take it, but I could try." Robin's hand extended to the bag with the cans, but was quickly stopped by her driver's trembling hand.
"Don't do it. I think I know why your mother wouldn't let you take them," he said, laughing a little.
"I talked a lot all the way, didn't I?" She asked, while her smile faded a little.
"No! No, I mean, yes, Robin, you talked too much, but it's... it's okay. You helped me not to fall asleep, and... yes, I'm fine. There’s just too much Red Bull in my body right now, so I hope your uncle's house is nearby because I have to pee soon."
Robin smiled. Was she nervous?
"Nancy Wheeler, did you just digress a little, or am I just going crazy?" She smiled playfully.
"You were already crazy, Robin Buckley." He smiled.
.
Robin's uncle's house was small. The bathroom, which was the first thing Nancy paid attention to, barely had a toilet and a small bathtub with the sink almost stuck between them. The water was cold, and that helped wipe his face to clear his sleep. Jonathan was just leaving New York, and Steve would arrive in two more hours. Nancy observed that there were only two rooms, and one of them had a lot of stacked furniture, while the other had barely a single bed. The kitchen had what you needed with a stove, a refrigerator, and a microwave oven, while the living room had two long armchairs, a reclining single sofa, a coffee table, a fireplace, and a large TV. It wasn't really that bad; the only problem was that they needed extra space to sleep. Nancy thought for a moment that she wouldn't really need it considering that she woke up every couple hours.
"You can get some sleep while Steve and Jon arrive. I know you're tired."
"I'm not going to leave you alone. I'm fine."
"I know... I know it hasn't been easy. For no one really." Robin began. This time, her voice was softer. "I've talked to Steve, you know? He has nightmares. Steve Harrington, King Harrington has nightmares almost every night. I have mine, my... my nails are destroyed Nance" She extended her hands towards Nancy. "I've always bitten them, but they were always little things that my mind turned into giants, and now... now all those little things are actually little things, insignificant compared to the memories of those nights. The kidnapping of the Russians, the disaster in Starcourt, all the shit we live in the Upside Down with those vines, Eddie's death, the abyss... but the fear... fuck, Nancy, fear is always there. The constant fear of those damn things coming back, or the fear that prevails in memories, you know? I was afraid of dying when those things trapped us on the walls of the Creel's house, and I was afraid when we left Will and Joyce in the abyss, and when you offered yourself as bait and I saw you run towards that canyon... I was so terrified." There were a couple of tears spilling and her eyes were red and watery. "The point... the point of this is, that if Steve and I who were not emotionally involved at the beginning do not stop feeling afraid, I can't imagine what you and Jonathan feel. Your siblings were direct victims of Vecna, your parents, Mike, you. What Vecna did to you, what he showed you. I mean, what I mean by all this is that I think it's okay if you're not okay. And I didn't say anything before but I know you haven't slept because the nights are horrible, because, because I have my own horrible nights and I haven't slept much either, and I'm sure Steve and Jonathan won't either and..."
"Robin, breathe"
The tallest young woman stopped. She sighed while her hands trembled and she let himself fall on the sofa, covering his face. Nancy knew immediately what to do. She sat next to her and put an arm around her shoulders, while resting her head on her, letting a couple of tears fall as well.
"I know. I'm sorry I can't open up so easily. I know you're the only ones who can understand. It's just that... everything has been so overwhelming. But we'll be fine, the two of us, the four of us."
"I know, I know, just... my mind always takes the most... catastrophic side of things."
"I've noticed it."
"Thank you, Nance, for the ride, and for being my friend. I don't have many of those," she said, smiling through tears.
"Thanks to you, Rob."