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A regret for later

Summary:

Albert never planned on staying.

But between alcohol, exhaustion, and the comfort of someone new, he lets himself have a moment he knows he’ll regret.

just not yet.

And the way he liked it hurt him more.

Notes:

Hai guys!!

I made this a while ago as well but I barely had anything written down so I continued it!! (⁎˃ᴗ˂⁎)
Originally this was going to be a bit different with it being more smut implied but I can't being myself to write smut yet (T_T) I will stay truthful to my Lime ways ( ꈍᴗꈍ )

Also this was gonna be about the " Jake I look like the first time we met" thingy but I didn't know how to make it make sense, so I just took parts of it and mixed it with shame by Mitski (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

So just that I suppose!! Enjoy ᐠ( ᐢ ᵕ ᐢ )ᐟ

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Albert couldn't believe he had agreed to this.

 

 

 

He and Lana were just chatting as usual.

 

Albert couldn’t recall what they were talking about,but it was probably about what they would do later, or tomorrow.

 

They kept on talking for a while. Until she got a call, Lana excused herself and answered the call.

 

While Lana was talking on the phone Albert just looked at his. Not really paying attention.

 

After somewhat zoning out, he felt a light tap on his left shoulder.

 

Someone, Albert couldn’t quite remember, had asked them if they wanted to go to a party ‘not far’ from his house.

 

That's when he made that dreadful decision of accepting.

 

⸻ ✦ ✧ ✦ ⸻

 

Now he was at a random party waiting for his girlfriend to get out of the bathroom so they could finally leave.

 

His eyes somewhat started scanning the place. Seeing so many people in one place made him overwhelmed, especially if he was near said crowd.

He wasn't usually overwhelmed by crowds but him not knowing anybody was starting to get to him.

 

All he could barely see were the somewhat yellow walls,that probably weren’t painted that color before, and some tables with chairs by their side that almost nobody was sitting down on.

 

He began feeling dizzy with a pounding headache and a feeling that made him want to throw up all the alcohol he had consumed.

 

god this couldn't get any worse

 

He stood still with his hand scratching the back off his neck.

 

The music was unbearable and extremely loud. probably loud enough that the noise could be heard outside the building.

 

It caused a ringing in his ear to slowly appear, and he began to feel disoriented with his knees weakening.

 

So he opted to sit down at a nearby table and later on tell Lana to find him there.

 

As he began walking towards one of the tables he couldn’t help but feel even more dizzy.

 

His brain took some time to process what his eyes were seeing.

 

He wished to get there quickly, but suddenly his plans were ruined, as he felt a harsh bump on a major part of his body, crashing against someone's shoulder.

 

Albert lightly shook his head, trying to get a bit more oriented.

 

“ God…sorry “ he muttered, feeling worse by the second.

 

The deafening music made it so Albert couldn´t hear what the other guy said. but he just assumed it was something like “ don't worry “ based on his facial expression.

 

As Albert continued to walk through the crowd to reach the table, he felt a light tap on his shoulder.

 

“ Are you…alright? “ the same man he bumped into seconds before asked.

 

“ Yeah, i'm fine. “ mumbled Albert quietly before continuing to walk away,stumbling and tripping upon walking

 

before he could even try to move at least half a metres distance the guy approached him once more.

 

Albert felt a bit of irritation when the dude stopped him again. Nonetheless he turned his head back in a somewhat slow 

 

“ I don't want to annoy you but you walk like a baby taking his first steps..” a small chuckle escaped while he talked “ you sure you good? “ he followed, his words somewhat pushy, but not forcing.

 

A rough chuckle escaped Albert’s mouth as well. “Yeah, I guess I had a bit too much to drink,” he said, continuing to talk even though it hurt, with his voice coming out breathy and raspy.

“ You’re headed to a table right? “ a small smirk marking the man's face.

“ That’s the idea “ responded Albert.

“ Mind if I come? “ He asked, a light up soft smile overtaking his smirk.

“ I could use some company “ Albert responded, somewhat forgetting that he was actually going to leave.

 ⸻ ✦ ✧ ✦ ⸻

Some time had passed since the two had begun talking.

Both of them didn’t really do much but talk about random stuff or they’re lifes.

 

Albert hadn’t heard from Lana in a while. It was either because she’d left without saying anything or because his phone had died, though he didn’t think much of it and kept talking with the man, now revealed as Jake, as they continued drinking.

 

Although he was already sick of the taste of alcohol, having someone somewhat tranquil made the headaches he would get not so bad. 

 

It wasn't like he didn't want to hang out with Lana, it was just that being surrounded by a lot of people he didn’t know and drinking excessively made him overwhelmed. 

And his drinking didn’t make it any better.

 

But talking with someone made him sort of ignore the other things that were in the room; the people, the irritating music and the smell of alcohol and substances filling up his lungs.

 

The substance infected his brain and way of thinking, acting and such.

Not really thinking straight he drank a bit more and asked about Jake’s life while also telling him why he was here.

 

“ So where is your girl? “ Jake asked when he heard about Lana. Hiccups appearing in between his words

 

It was a question Albert couldn’t really answer at the moment, making him worry about her again.

 

“ ah,..im- not sure” he muttered out. stumbling on his words, trying to form a thought of a possible answer.

 

“ You’re lost dude...” Jake laughed,breathy “ You should go ask someone “ 

 

“ Yeah, I suppose, “ Albert said as he struggled to stand up. 

 

his vision spun as he jumped up from the chair, forgetting how wasted he was and how that would affect his actions. and his task. 

 

He put his hands on the edge of the table, leaning on it for support.

 

blinking until the room stopped spinning for him. When it did, he scanned the room for Lana. 

Even though the room stopped spinning everyone's shadow seemed mushed together, making it hard for him to try to spot her. 

 

It was useless to scream for her, and Albert didn't like the idea of pushing through the crowd to find her. 

So he opted for the ‘easier’ option, asking someone. 

 

He waited until he saw a somewhat recognizable face and tapped their shoulder. 

 

“ Yeah Albert? “ asked who Albert could only suppose was Lana's friend. 

 

“Is.. Lana here? “ he asked. His voice giving a clear hint. he needed to get hydrated 

 

“ Uhh, Lana left a while ago, “ said the person with a weak smile. 

 

They mumbled something before heading off somewhere, leaving Albert just a tad less worried about her, but a lot more worried about what he'd do now. 

 

Albert turned his head towards Jake, a drunken face with the obvious hint of discomfort. 

 

“She's not here right? “ Asked Jake. A half empty glass whiskey in his hand, bringing it to his mouth followed by him getting up. 

 

“Yeah she's…” Albert didn't finish his sentence. 

 

“ I can take you, “ said Jake as he leaned closer to Albert. Hiccups still present through his words

 

Despite the clear signs that he should NOT go with him he accepted. 

Probably by his impulsive thinking, and the want of going home to throw up in his bathroom. 

 

Jake had a smile plastered on his face when he saw Albert accepting. 

 

He proceeded to lightly place Albert's arm around his neck and grab his waist, a soft grip so Albert had support to walk normally without tripping. 

 

The light grip Jake had on his waist made him feel flushed “ it's just because of the Sudden touch, nothing… else “ Albert mumbled to himself, barely audible. After all, he was drunk and tired. Why else would he be flustered?.

 

Jake kept holding on tight to Albert, making sure he wouldn't trip and end up falling. 

 

Maybe it was the alcohol that made it seem as if Jake was holding him really tight or Albert's own imagination, but not tight as in a bad way, but the type you would hold your partner. 

 

“I shouldn't have drunk so much.. “ was the excuse that covers up every feeling Albert had at that moment. 

 

As he focused on his surroundings instead of his thoughts he realized they were at Jake's car.

 

Albert crawled out of Jake's touch to lean on the car, as Jake struggled with his keys.

 He may be a tad more sober than Albert, and can handle himself pretty well but he was still tipsy. 

 

Jake finally was able to open the door for Albert, waiting for him to sit down before he did that himself. Going around the car to the driver's seat, shutting the door and starting the engine. 

 

Once everything was ready he checked for any incoming cars and headed off to where Albert had said his home was. 

 

⸻ ✦ ✧ ✦ ⸻

 

“ So that's just kind of… my job? “ Albert giggled, throwing the can of who knows what he was even drinking now out the car window. 

 

“ That's awesome dudeee! “ exclaimed Jake, amazed at what others saw as dumb. 

 

Laughs filled the air broken up by added jokes and chit chat, most of the time they didn't even know why they were laughing. The environment is calmer and somewhat peaceful for Albert. 

 

Finally the rest he needed. 

 

It's not like he wasn't a party guy but certain things could make him stressed, especially if he's alone. 

So he felt glad that he could continue his ‘sip and tea’ with Jake somewhere quieter without ruining the fun. 

 

A small silence filled the room, Albert breathed heavily as if the air in his lungs were squeezed out, the continuous laughing made him lightheaded and breathless. 

 

Sometimes he felt as if the constant banging in his head had stopped even though it didn't, he truly was having fun. In his own way. 

 

“ y'know “ said Jake, pausing before his scratchy voice spoke again. 

 

“ I was like… nervous trying to talk to you “ his voice mumbled but still understandable. 

 

“ Whaatt?? “ Albert vocalized. 

 

Jake chuckled, a broken up sound. 

“ You looked.. Uhh charming? “ he uttered, seeming somewhat flustered

 

“ Maybe it was just the alcohol, I dunno, “ Jake continued. 

 

“ You could've said anything man, why'd you worry? “ Laughed Albert 

 

“What was I going to say? ‘Boy you better bring that ass over here and give me a smooch!!’ “ 

Jake said, laughing some more. 

 

“ Fair enough, “ Albert responded. 

 

The same small silence filling the air. 

 

“ I wasn't lying though “ said Jake in between hiccups. 

 

Albert turned his head sharply at Jake, a confused expression on his face. 

 

Jake got the hint and continued “ about you looking handsome… or whatever “ 

He muttered something under his breath after that. 

 

“ h-handsome? “ Albert stuttered by not knowing what to respond. 

 

Albert's face changed from a light tint of pink for the alcohol to a crimson red, a prickle of heat behind his ears. 

 

Was he flustered?, no… no no why would he be ?

 

It was just a compliment from a… new found friend. 

 

“ Just blame it on the alcohol, it's messing up my brain anyway.” Albert thought, pushing himself to believe it once more. 

 

Neither of them said anything, not even about something else. Just sort of left it at that. 

 

It's not like Albert minded, but he just didn't know how to feel. It's not like he knew why his body reacted like that for someone he didn't really know.

 

“ I'm sorry “ murmured Jake, fearing that he made it awkward. 

 

“ Ah- don't worry. “ Albert struggled to form his words, stumbling on some. 

 

He turned his focus to check his phone. Disconnecting it from the charger Jake had given to Albert.

 

To his somewhat surprise, there was nothing, not a single message from Lana or her friends.

 

Albert was a bit worried but didn't think something bad had happened to her. Maybe she went with one of her friends, she wasn't really in driving conditions anyway.

 

He just hoped she got home, or somewhere, safely.

 

 

The vehicle halting abruptly stopped suddenly. Making Albert quickly wake up from his thoughts. 

 

Launching forward from his seat, he was lucky he put on his seatbelt. 

 

“ We're here! “ exclaimed Jake. His voice was unintentionally loud. 

 

Albert opened his mouth like he was going to say something, most probably about how Jake suddenly stopped or anything. 

But he was out of breath and didn't really know what to say. 

 

Albert proceeded to try, and fail, to unbuckle his seatbelt, his fingers barely coordinating to be able to do it. 

 

And to his somewhat barely surprise Jake slid his hands near Albert's buckle pushing on the button.

After failing like three or four times he managed to unbuckle the safety belt. 

 

Albert opened the car door. Feeling a refreshing breeze hit his face as he tried stepping outside. 

 

He stood up, his legs shaking, barely being able to maintain balance by himself.

 

He closed the door behind him and rested his body against the car, making him able to stand up without wobbling so much. 

 

Jake came around the car, maintaining more stability than Albert. 

 

He quietly moved next to him. Placing Albert's arm around his neck once more, and putting his hand on his waist. 

 

Same gentleness, softness, coziness and all. 

 

Albert was still not able to shake the odd feeling off. 

Maybe it was just the feeling?...it's definitely not Jake. 

 

 

He moved around with Jake. Lost in his own mind again, staring at the hand on his waist as it dropped to his love handles. 

 

The soft touch sending shivers down his spine. 

 

Still looking at it, maybe as if it were to magically change for Lana's delicate hand. 

 

Or maybe he didn't want that. 

Not like he has been sure of anything this whole time. 

 

Albert looked in front of him, the door basically right up to his face. 

 

He grasped the doorknob, it felt cold. Different from the humid air. 

 

Albert reached for his keys in his pocket, barely missing the keyhole before managing to unlock and open the door. 

 

He freed himself from Jake's grasp, stumbling towards his couch falling on his side on top of it. 

 

He felt as if his eyes desperately wanted to shut on their own, but he didn't want to fall asleep before Jake left. 

 

Lana was still in his mind, but he felt a bit too tired to really do anything. 

 

And he knew if she needed to she would call him. 

 

It's not like Albert didn't trust her, he did so he let her be. 

 

“ Do you need water? “ said Jake as he sat on the couch's armchair.

 

Jake's hand on Albert's ankle, same

delicate touch as before. 

 

Albert mumbled a barely audible yes, slowly nodding his head as he agreed. 

 

Jake stood up, leaving warmth where his hand was. Along with leaving Albert a strange feeling of want for his missing touch. 

 

As Albert closed his eyes he heard Jake's footsteps around his house, mostly because Jake was looking for his kitchen. 

 

Sometimes stopping to possibly look around. 

 

He could hear how he stumbled and almost tripped a few times as he walked, a mix of soft and harsh footsteps against the floor. 

 

The dimly lit light disappeared as he closed his eyes. 

 

A few seconds later he felt a slight shake on his shoulder. Making him open his eyes. 

 

Jake stood in front of him, a half empty water bottle in his hand. 

 

“ Here, “ said Jake, “ I drank some, hope you don't mind. “ he followed. 

 

Albert sat up slowly, his vision blurring as he did. 

 

He took the bottle from Jake and opened it, drinking the rest of the water. 

 

He placed the empty bottle on the coffee table, barely turning his head at Jake. 

 

The water made him feel better, his head stopped pounding as badly as it was before. 

 

He looked over at Jake, whom was looking at him as well. 

 

They exchanged glances and long periods of eye contact. 

 

Not really saying much. 

 

Lana slowly fading out of Albert's mind, with Jake becoming more of a focus. 

 

“ I- “ blurted out Jake, a singular word already making Albert know what Jake was trying to say. 

 

Jake glanced at Albert and the floor, his nervousness showing. His fingers fiddling. 

 

Albert on the other hand stood still, thinking about it. About his feelings at that moment. 

 

 

Shame. 

 

 

Shame is what he felt. 

 

Shame in even thinking about it. 

 

Shame on him for wanting even though it wasn't right. 

 

But nonetheless he stayed still. Looking up at Jake as he seemed closer every second. 

 

He let the warm linger longer than it probably should have. Letting the quiet stretch, unbroken. 

 

He let himself have this moment. 

The only time he felt at ease unlike the whole entire night. 

 

The guilt and unstoppable shame bubbles up inside him, blocking his thoughts. 

 

But the feeling of want and knowing that it'd be enjoyable, even something that would make him feel good, was bigger. 

 

The way it already felt good at that very moment was what he didn't want to think about. 

 

But 

 

 

Even if the good feeling would last a moment. 

The regret, with deep shame, could come later. 

 

Notes:

So THAT just happened (°0°)!!

Hi Vicky Hi valen ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎