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Mike Wheeler was bad at feelings. He knew this from his years with El. He knew it the first time Will yelled at him in the rain. He especially knew it when he stopped picking up the phone after his friends moved.
It wasn't a purposeful choice; that's what he tells himself, at least. He just got busier and busier around the time Will typically called. It wasn't only Will's calls he was avoiding, but those hurt the most to ignore, making him clench his teeth until the ringing stopped. His chest felt like it caved in on the first day that it didn't ring at all. There were nights when he would stand in his living room, staring at the phone. He knew he could call at any time. Worse, he knew Will would answer.
The first time seeing Will Byers again happens both far too soon and far too late for Mike's heart. Lucas and Dustin, back in town for summer break, go to see Mike unannounced. They force their way into his home, survey the sparse decor, and stretch out across his couch like they've been there 1000 times before. Lucas talks about Max, his scholarship, and how much he enjoys his courses. Dustin keeps interrupting to talk about his classes and his new friends who are nerds like him. As they run out of topics, Mike sees them get twitchy, Lucas and Dustin making tense eye contact. Eventually, Dustin looks away.
"Hey man, um, we were wondering if you've spoken to Will in a bit?" Mike can feel the anxiety rolling off Dustin, his speech slow, as if he's trying to keep Mike calm.
It doesn't work.
"I've been busy." Mike doesn't think he sounds defensive, but the look on Lucas and Dustin's faces makes it seem like he does.
"Yeah, totally. We were just wondering if you were going to the celebration in a few weeks? Like if you're busy, don't worry about it, but y'know, the Byers are putting on a thing for El's birthday, and I think they'd want you there." Lucas rubs the back of his neck as he speaks, voice hitching on El's name.
Mike manages to give a non-committal answer despite his breath catching in his throat. Dustin and Lucas don't seem surprised when he rushes them out with the excuse of work. Stumbling up his steps, he runs it through in his head. Can he face Will? Can he face El's loss in such a way? Can he sit and talk about El without feeling guilty for what he didn't say?
As he pushes open his bedroom door, he sees the painting hanging on his wall. A joint effort between the two most important people in his life. He loved El, really, he did. He just didn't love her the way he tried to, his eyes wandering to Will without his permission. Watching the way his hair moved, the way his eyes lit up when he talked about D&D, the way his lips looked when he pouted. The night before Will left for New York, he had caved and kissed Will so hard he saw stars. He couldn't forget how sweetly Will looked at him before leaning into another kiss. Then Will moved, and Mike was alone again.
He had to go.
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Present Mike curses past Mike as he enters the Byers's home. He walks along the wall and settles awkwardly with a drink in the corner.
Mike nearly chokes on his drink when he sees Will across the room. Will has changed, grown out his hair until it wisps along the back of his neck, his lips shine with a pink gloss, and his clothes are soft and lightly coloured.
He knows the exact moment Will spots him because the boy freezes, cutting himself off mid-sentence. Will slowly turns back to Jonathon, says a few more words, then walks Mike's way.
Mike feels like he's going to crawl out of his skin as he figures out what to say. Should he apologise? Beg? Run? He never decides because Will is in front of him before he can think a coherent thought. His arms are crossed, and his shoulders are tense. His big doe-eyes look up at Mike, and Mike can't help but notice how long Will's lashes look.
"I didn't think you'd come," Will says, cutting right to the chase.
"I didn't really either-" Will scoffs, and Mike rushes to correct himself, "My writing has kept me busy, I didn't know if I'd have time."
"You never have time anymore." Will mutters, shoulders drawing in tighter, " Whatever, Jane would've wanted you here, so I'm happy you came."
Mike wants to comfort him; he wants to hold him and never let him go, tell him he didn't mean to upset him, and confess everything he’s been running from. He doesn't do that. He watches Will walk back to the larger crowd and grips his glass until his knuckles hurt. It doesn’t make it better.
He ghosts around the edge of the party, making small talk with people as they approach him. He can't keep his eyes off Will as the boy plasters on his best hosting smile. Their friends begin clapping rhythmically, and Mike moves his focus to the doorway between the living room and the kitchen. Joyce walks in with a round cake, decorated with pink icing and multi-coloured candles, as everyone begins to sing Happy Birthday. Mike feels like there's cotton in his mouth as he watches the cake get placed on the table. A looping script spells out "Happy 18th Birthday, Jane." He watches as Hopper comes up behind Joyce and rubs her back, giving her a reassuring smile. Will and Jonathon join them, reaching out to Joyce as she covers her face in her hands, shoulders shaking slightly. Jonathon pushes Will forward, and everyone cheers as he blows out the candles. Hopper cuts the cake and begins to hand out pieces to the gathered crowd. Lucas holds his plate in one hand and Max's hand in the other, rubbing her thumb soothingly. Dustin passes slices to Steve and Robin, who thank him quietly. Vickie leans into Robin's side as they head back to meet Nancy on the couch they had been inhabiting all evening.
Mike feels like he's behind a pane of glass, looking out at his closest friends and family. They are grieving together, and he is not. His stomach rolls. He feels frozen as he watches the scene in front of him, which is why he notices immediately when Will slips out through the back door. After a moment of hesitation, he follows after. Will leans against the railing, his head on his forearms. Mike comes up beside him, knocking gently on the wood to not startle him. Will's head shifts, peeking an eye out to see Mike, before turning back into his arms.
"It's a nice party," Mike says, but Will doesn't respond. "She would have liked the cake. Joyce made it, I assume? She always did like your mom's baking. She mentioned it a few times in her letters and-"
"What are you doing here, Mike?" Will cut him off, voice muffled in his sleeves.
"Uh, Lucas and Dustin invited me?" Mike said lamely.
"Oh, so you actually talk to them?" The animosity in Will's tone took Mike by surprise. Will finally stood up, his eyebrows creased and shoulders tense.
"Wh-what?" Mike took a step back, his voice unsure.
"You don't talk to me for a year, and suddenly you're at my house and acting as if nothing happened. It's not fair." Will takes a step forward, closing the distance between them again.
"It's not on purpose. I've been busy." Will scoffs and rolls his eyes—a strained smile on his face.
"You've barely tried to speak to me the entire night." Will took another step forward, an accusatory finger pressing into Mike's chest.
"It's been an emotional night," Mike speaks softly, trying to placate Will.
"Oh yes, I forgot you were the only one grieving." Will seems only to get more annoyed, teeth clenching.
"She was my girlfriend, Will," Mike says firmly.
"She was my sister!" Will yells, voice cracking, his lip trembling, "I have been miserable, I can't sleep without nightmares, I keep going to talk to her only to find her not there, I can barely pay attention in class, and the one person I thought would always be there for me left! Can't you at least tell me what I did?" It's only in this moment that Mike sees the light purple staining under Will's eyes, how glossy and unfocused they are. Mike forgets to breathe, his chest seizing as he realises what he's done. How he left his sweet boy behind, so caught up in his grief that he didn't notice Will's struggle.
Mike slowly brings his hand to Will's cheek, thumb brushing along Will's undereye. Will looks up at him as his lip begins to tremble more. He clenches his eyes and lets out a strained breath.
"I'm sorry, baby. You did nothing wrong. You're so good. C'mere." Mike leans down, pressing a kiss to Will's forehead and bringing the boy closer. He feels his thumb get wet as Will's body begins to shake, and clipped sobs start to fall from his lips. Mike continues murmuring comforting words to Will, kissing along his face as Will catches his breath. Will's eyes flutter open to make eye contact, his sniffles dying down. He reaches his arms around Mike's neck and closes the distance. Mike presses into Will, moving his hands to Will's waist. He only lets Will pull away to breathe for a moment before pulling him back in for another kiss. He holds Will as tight as he can. He never wants to let him go.
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Inside, the remaining party gathers around the window, watching the scene outside.
"Oh, thank god." Lucas breathes a sigh of relief, "I could not handle the tension any longer."
"I was hoping Will would punch him," Max said. Despite her words, a soft smile sat on her face.