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It's not like Shiki's particularly invested in thinking back to certain things and then crowing in delight about them. But seeing Kougasaki act more inclusive with the team makes something sing inside Shiki's veins. He kind of wants to do a happy little dance, because hey! Isn't this development because of him! He's totally not being insufferable and narcissistic about this either! It's absolutely true that Kougasaki has started to be friendlier... well, less cold towards the others after all his efforts to thaw him out.
And sure, a great part of it is that Kougasaki's actually a little softie deep inside. He would never admit it in a million years, but it's true. He's so tsundere like that, unable to honestly speak out about himself and his likes. He's plenty mouthy about his dislikes, calling others 'idiot' and what-not, but he's an even bigger idiot, isn't he?!
...Well, not bigger than him at least. Kougasaki's not that much smaller than him, but he's leaner and lighter. Shiki would know. As his roommate, he gets to see him in various stages of undress often. The scars all over his body do nothing to deter one's eyes in looking closely at his muscle lines or at his pale skin. It's not Shiki's fault that he ends up looking at him closely. In fact, it actually is Kougasaki's fault for being so... Kougasaki. A pretty boy through and through, but with such an acidic mouth, and also such an endearing side when his hair outs him on his love for sweets.
But anyway, Shiki's getting distracted.
Things had gone to shit, basically, because of the conflict between Onis and Momotarous being made public, but things have entered a lull now. It's rare to have a chance to relax. It gets to a point when they might actually get to actually celebrate finishing their first year at Rasetsu without the party getting interrupted.
See, Kougasaki's not brushing everyone off when they delegate things to be done to prepare for the party.
See, Kougasaki's even smiling when Yusurube gets him to help carry some boxes—huh? Kougasaki, smiling? Kougasaki, smiling at Yusurube?
Since when have they been this close???????
Shiki bounces to his feet, suddenly very invested. Beside him, Homare squeaks out an apology for being such a nuisance that she couldn't even let him brood and stare at Kougasaki in peace. Shiki would usually freeze and ask as to why Homare would Say That, but he's too focused on sneaking around and tailing the two lovebirds... no! Friendbirds! Kougasaki wouldn't fall in love when he's too busy wanting to be stronger so he could defeat his old man. He's too much of a frigid beauty to be like the hormone-addled members of their class. And even if he wanted to fall in love, he wouldn't fall in love with someone like Yusurube, who probably doesn't even know about the sordid details of his backstory, and definitely hasn't seen his crying face, and—
—Wait just a moment.
Has this started ever since that time, when they got Yusurube back from that bastard? It figures that they'd share a bond, given that they're both dealing with the loss of their sisters. What, so is this some siscon bonding thing? That is a relief, but also very annoying, because doesn't that mean that Shiki can't relate to them? Is Kougasaki really stingy enough to only smile at people with sisters? Man, why is he so annoying?!
(Yaoroshi calls out to him while he's trying to maneuver behind tables so he can follow Kougasaki's faint smile: "What the hell are you doing, skulking around like you're constipated? Do we need to beat someone up?" He's Too Busy Thinking to pay a close attention to the words, thus robbing him of the opportunity to deny the bit about looking constipated. He has a Very Healthy Body, thank you very much.)
It's not like Shiki's a freak who wants to receive smiles from Kougasaki. But it's a little bit like... yeah, like the duck imprinting thing. He's the one who stubbornly reached out to Kougasaki. He's the one who's had to deal with the other's scowls and uncooperative ass. He's the one who persisted in knocking down those walls, and he's the one who's had to hide away in a public restroom just so he wouldn't end up publicly succumbing to tears, no thanks to Kougasaki opening up about his past and assaulting his tear ducts.
It's not like he's entitled or anything, but he's just... It's just... Doesn't he deserve to be the one Kougasaki smiles at the most?! Isn't he The Rival and The Roommate? No offense to Yusurube, but he's the one who Kougasaki should feel closest to, right?
It's not like he wants to be the only one to see Kougasaki's smiles either. He's not selfish like that. Kougasaki looks really good when he's smiling, so it would be like, downright criminal, if that sight is kept under wraps. But it should still be Shiki who'd get to see it first and foremost, right? It's not like there's anything wrong with his logic, right??
After all, Shiki's already taken in so many humiliating losses of his face in front of the other man. All of his silly moments, and Kougasaki has the nerve to claim that they're not buddies or something. Urgh, he's so annoying!
And especially annoying is the fact that Yusurube is saying something that causes Kougasaki's shoulders to actually shake—
—Is Kougasaki laughing? Kougasaki "I'm so above it all and the world owes me a gazillion yen in debt so bow down to me" Jin, laughing?
Before Shiki knows it, he's zipping through the distance between them, summoning flames and slicing the space between his two classmates. He looks super-cool doing it, he's very sure, because Yusurube's eyes almost fall out of his face, his glasses askew. Satisfied with the reaction, Shiki smugly turns to Kougasaki, ready to forgive him for laughing with someone else if he'd like, look at him all starry-eyed. After all, the last time he's had to do this, Kougasaki's half-fainted from his scumbag of a father, and he didn't even see him go ablaze in his rescue. He... probably didn't even see Shiki wipe off his tears. Maybe. Probably.
But now, Kougasaki's thankfully not crying anymore. It really doesn't suit him. He looks pretty, even in tears, sure, but there's just something Very Wrong about it. The annoying smug face looks best on him. Because that way, at least Shiki knows that there's nobody else who's daring to hurt him or insult him. He's the one who's had to endure Kougasaki's prickly thorns; he's the only one allowed to mock him.
...Ah, but he's getting distracted.
Especially since Kougasaki's not laughing anymore, but he's looking at Shiki like he's looking at some weirdo. "Why are you making a spectacle in the hallways? Do you want Muda-sensei to kick your ass?"
He wilts, just a bit. "He's... out with the Principal, I think." He hopes that the meeting takes a long time, because he's definitely going to get whacked in the head for using his flames inside the school hallways for non-emergencies. Well, he'd argue that seeing Kougasaki play favorites is a matter of grave importance.
"Huh. Then why are you rushing around like an idiot?"
"I look SUPER COOL okay?! There's nothing idiotic about this!"
"Only an idiot would argue against being called an idiot."
"I'm very sure that's not true?!" Man, Kougasaki is so annoying! How can he be so blind and not see that Shiki's there, looking very cool, and therefore should be a recipient of smiles, laughter and maybe even ten compliments?!
Yusurube clears his throat. "...Uh, Shiki-kun, do you want to help carry the boxes?"
Kougasaki, annoyingly enough, makes even tongue clicking look so... Kougasaki. All pretty and shit. "This dolt has zero delicacy. He can't be careful enough with these things."
There's a non-zero chance that this is simply a way to deliberately goad him. Of course, there's a bigger chance that this is just Kougasaki being his usual Kougasaki self—and by that, it means that pulling nice words from him would be much harder than mastering the berserk mode from the get-go. Absolutely impossible, but that doesn't mean that he's going to give up so easily.
Shiki bares his teeth. "I can be careful when I want to, oi!"
"Pigs would sooner fly." Red eyes would look sinister on anyone else. On the other man, it just makes him look especially annoying and in need of a beating. It only seems to highlight how nicely red his lips could get. And really, ever since he has started to wear his mask less and less whenever he's in Rasetsu, that redness is a seeming magnet for the compass of Shiki's attention.
"You have first-hand experience," he fires back, ignoring the way Kougasaki stiffens and the way Yusurube gasps dramatically behind them. "I was very gentle with you back then, okay?!"
Yusurube shrieks something about the two of them being "traitors" and "jumping ship to join Rokuro".
Shiki really can't care about such statements now. Especially since Kougasaki's face is taken over by a fierce blush, as he points at him, all prettily enraged. "Let that go already, damn it! Forget it! Or else, I'll knock your head off so you'd have amnesia!"
"How could I ever forget about it!" It haunts him, catching him off-guard on random moments. He'd be doing his own thing and he'd suddenly remember the sight of Kougasaki's face streaked with tears, eyes swollen and nose red. It really doesn't suit him. "You heard me, right! You were pretending to be Sleeping Beauty, but you heard me, right! I said I was gonna poke fun of your crying face, didn't I!"
"Who the hell are you calling 'Sleeping Beauty', idiot?!"
"Is there anyone else who I could call that, huh?!"
"You're always saying such weird shit! I ought to glue your mouth shut!"
"You're just a sore loser, not wanting to admit that I was gentle as hell with you!"
"You're spouting nonsense!" The blush flows downwards, creeping down Kougasaki's neck. "And there's nothing gentle about it! Not that I was conscious for it!"
He roars, "Then pay close attention now!"
In contrast to his voice that practically reverberates throughout the entire island, he's absolutely, totally, completely Gentle with his actions when he steps forward and invades Kougasaki's personal space. Serves him right, really. All that denial about how Shiki treated him back then, catching him in his arms, laying him down on the pavement and wiping his tears. He's going to show him, damn it.
Shiki is quick to approach by the side. He stretches out his arm so he could grab Kougasaki by his chest, right palm resting over a thunderous heart. Reminiscent of that day, Kougasaki is all frozen today too, only a lot stiffer compared to the limp state he was in back then.
...Back then, he couldn't bear to see such a proud figure fall down face-first into the pavement. Kougasaki may lose a fight, but he couldn't lose his determination to keep moving forward. Shiki couldn't bear to see his efforts and determination be crushed underfoot.
In the same way, he couldn't allow his own efforts be swatted away and ignored by this man.
He maneuvers them in a manner similar to a dance, whirling them together so that he has Kougasaki trapped in a half-embrace. He moves his right arm so that he's instead cradling the other's nape with his palm. Kougasaki today doesn't have tears for him to wipe away, but he uses his left palm to cup the other's cheek anyway. There are no tears for him to wipe down over the other's clothes, so he keeps his hand there, thumb drawing small circles under the other's eyes.
It's not tears, it's not a smile, it's not laughter, it's not a starry-eyed look. But the expression on Kougasaki's face now is more alluring than any of those combined.
"You look really nice like this," he ends up blurting out before he could even catch himself. Well, it's embarrassing as hell, but Kougasaki looks even more flustered, so it's still his win! "See, aren't I being super gentle with you?"
Kougasaki sucks in a deep breath, before punching him in the stomach. "YOU IDIOT! You made me drop the box because of all your nonsense!"
Before he could protest about how it's not his fault that Kougasaki is so easily distracted, he's dumbstruck by the way Kougasaki turns an even deeper shade of red before hightailing away.
".....................How can he look so cute, it doesn't make sense!"
Yusurube clears his throat again, as if to announce his presence now that it's only the two of them left. "Shiki-kun, do you, uh, need to get some supplies from Kyouya-san? Or does this mean that we need to get some earbuds so we can sleep at night?"
Shiki turns to him, eyes blazing. "You didn't see that, right?! You didn't see Kougasaki looking all... urgh!"
"I saw nothing, so please don't even think of giving me amnesia!"
Satisfied with that response, Shiki focuses on himself. If he ends up wailing and curling into himself like a shrimp while his face is buried on his hands, well, there's nothing much he can do. After all, it's not his fault that Kougasaki's expressions are so interesting that he wants to hoard them all for his own eyes only.
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