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My friends call me slow pretty often.
I am, I admit it. But my slowness is selective! It only shows up for difficult things, obviously—like arithmetic—but honestly, I’m not that slow.
Still, my slowness allowed me to notice a few things my friends completely failed to see.
It wasn’t obvious to them, but to me, it was always there, between the lines.
I’m not that dense! It would be an understatement to say I didn’t notice—the signs were painfully clear.
The long looks across the common room—who did they think they were fooling? I think Sirius genuinely believed he was being subtle.
The admiring smiles.
The “occasional” jealous glances.
The looks full of desire—*ahem*, Sirius Black absolutely drooling over a shirtless Moony.
I knew what love looked like—I am the last romantic of our friend group, after all—and I knew how it felt, though maybe it was different for them.
In Lily’s words, love is felt differently with different people; everyone has their own love language. And if Lily said it, then that was final.
And again, no matter what love language they were using, it was all terribly obvious.
The hand touches when they thought no one was paying attention.
Sirius’s fingers always gently brushing through Moony’s hair after the full moon.
The way Remus got almost soft and possessive with Sirius a week before the full moon.
Even though it was obvious to me—and honestly, to anyone—Sirius thought it was all coincidence, that Remus would never like him that way, and blah blah blah.
He was the hottest guy at Hogwarts, Gryffindor’s resident Casanova, heir to the House of Black, and yet he didn’t have a single ounce of confidence when it came to romance. And of course, he came to *me* for advice.
Because I’m such a great friend, I accepted and tried to think. But considering my current relationship with Lily, it had been incredibly hard just to get a non agressive hello out of her without earning a kick to the backside.
I had to win her over through sheer persistence—and with a serenade. Lots of letters. Ten for every month.
And never giving up!
So even with all the difficulties, our love story happened by a miracle. And because of that, I knew they could at least manage a kiss.
And I knew the perfect occasion.
★
There was a party in the Gryffindor common room because we’d won the Quidditch match.
And I must say, it was priceless to see Regulus’s face—Pads’s younger brother—when Sirius caught the Snitch after I whistled and called him a good boy.
Maybe he was cringing at our friendship, or maybe he was just mad about losing.
After Sirius moved into my house, I thought I’d never see Regulus again. Turns out, I see him quite often!
I also thought their relationship would fall apart—they argue sometimes—but I know Sirius loves him too much to let him go.
Anyway, Regulus thought I never kept my promises. But I do—and I do so proudly!
He doubted me, so we made a bet.
“If Remus confesses first, you’ll have to wear black clothes for a month.”
I hate black clothes. That was one of the reasons I was sure I’d win.
Obviously, I bet on Pads—that he would confess first—because he would eventually. Or… maybe I threatened him a little.
After Sirius freaked out, nearly cried from fear, had a panic attack, fixed his hair again, and about two thousand other things, he decided he was ready.
At parties, it was tradition for one of us Marauders to sing karaoke, and all the houses loved it.
And of course, they especially loved it when Moony sang—particularly after two glasses of Firewhisky. He gets lighter than a feather. Sirius loves that. A lot.
Since we’d planned the schedule, tonight it was Six’s turn to sing. He usually did covers of rock bands he and Moony liked.
But tonight he’d sing something different—something just for our Moony, to set the mood for his confession.
Of course, Moony would’ve loved being asked out with a song from one of those singers they adored, but I convinced Sirius that composing a song for Remus would be a great idea.
I just didn’t expect that he already had one ready.
Speaking of our moon-struck boy—he was wearing one of those oversized, grandpa-style jumpers like always, and I held back a smile. I completely understood Pads; I’d even admitted to having an innocent crush on Moony back in our fourth year.
Sometimes—very frequently, actually—Padfoot got breathless just from watching Moony for too long, something that should’ve been trivial.
I teased him relentlessly about it, and it’s *hilarious* watching him try to explain himself when Remus is nearby without noticing—*and they still call me slow!* Sirius stutters, turns red like a tomato, his stick-thin legs wobble, he practically faints from embarrassment, and Remus doesn’t notice!
It took a while for karaoke time to arrive. During the day, we enjoyed sweets and lots of celebration.
And it was impossible to miss Sirius orbiting around Moony like he was the sun.
Which was funny, considering that in our group, Moony was the moon.
But he was the other light that illuminated Sirius’s life. I didn’t mind sharing my spot.
When karaoke finally started, I slipped away to talk to Lily—another hardcore Wolfstar shipper. Get it? Wolf, because Remus is a werewolf, and Star, because Sirius’s name comes from a constellation.
My future wife was incredibly wise and knew everything about everyone, like some omniscient being.
I loved her for that.
“Hi, love!” she smiled, and I felt my heart do a somersault. “Could you please ask Rem to pay attention while Six is singing?” I begged, pressing my hands together and making puppy eyes.
“You’re plotting something,” she said—not a question, but an obvious statement. “Fine.” She sighed in defeat.
“And keep him away from alcohol,” I added. “He needs to stay sober to figure it out.”
“Okay…” She raised an eyebrow but shrugged, heading toward our little wolf, who was already going for his first butterbeer, ridiculously happy. “Remus John! Drop the drink. Now!”
I laughed softly as I turned toward the stage, only catching, “BUT LILYYYYYYYY,” which I knew came from our wolf.
I could sense Pads’s nervousness from miles away when I climbed onto the stage with him and placed a hand on his shoulder.
“Are you trying to give me a heart attack, Prongs?!” he exclaimed, like I’d just kicked his puppy.
“You’re the one who’s way too nervous, champ,” I laughed. “Look, you know that even if you asked Moony out with a crumpled note, he’d say yes, right?”
He shook his head, laughing. It seemed to help, and he pulled himself together.
I strummed the guitar deliberately as encouragement—otherwise, they’d never get anywhere.
Wolfstar had never been real, and Merlin, if it happened, I’d die internally.
They deserved to be happy, just like Lily and me!
“Hey, Remus!” he shouted, trying to make his smile extra charming. “This one’s for you!”
I smiled so hard my cheeks hurt, watching Moony’s expression shift from pure admiration to confusion—and then embarrassment.
I noticed Remus’s shy gesture of pointing at himself and glancing around as the spotlight landed on him for confirmation. I gave Regulus a thumbs-up; he shrugged and walked away.
“Is there another Remus here, folks?” I asked, stealing Sirius’s microphone.
And the poor—pun very much intended—Remus’s face turned red from all the attention. It paid off for all the years I’d endured that couple.
“NOOOOO!” I heard Peter yell, followed by enthusiastic screams from Marlene, Lily, and Mary.
I saw Pads’s loving expression—he was staring at Moony; yes, he’s that gay—shift into a sulky one, while still being just as red as Remus.
“Can we do this properly? Please?” he asked into the mic, faking irritation.
But he wasn’t really annoyed—I knew that. He was happy.
He was confessing.
Honoring his inner Gryffindor.
“YES!!” the crowd shouted—grinning, euphoric Gryffindors everywhere.
Remus didn’t answer, though. And since his reaction was the only one that mattered to Pads, he looked even more nervous, like he was about to speak—but Remus started walking toward the stage, head down, slow steps, the spotlight following him until he stopped just a few feet away, facing Sirius.
When he finally looked up at him, his scarred face glowing under the lights, he whispered—and I was certain.
Absolutely, undeniably gay, my friends, my loves.
“You can.”
That was all the confirmation Sirius needed.
“Hey, Remus!” Sirius began again, while I kept playing. “Been waiting here for years, and that took me too long…”
The song was hilarious—praising Moony to an absurd degree. Sirius even worked in our dream of joining the Order of the Phoenix.
There were references to the Whomping Willow, Remus’s low self-esteem—it was perfect.
When the ridiculous—*affectionate*—song ended, Sirius dropped the microphone and whispered the rest of what we’d planned.
Only I knew what he was supposed to say—assuming he stuck to the script.
But seeing Moony’s eyes shine with every word, his cheeks pink, that soft smile appearing… it was a dream come true. Mine and Sirius’s.
I had no doubts—they were made for each other.
I couldn’t have been happier for my best friends—until my happiness dramatically withered, even though I knew it would happen eventually.
Moony whispered something back, holding Sirius’s face gently.
As if to confirm my worst fear, the crowd began chanting, “KISS! KISS! KISS!”
They wouldn’t do this to me. They wouldn’t leave me third-wheeling. That would be a total betrayal of their cupid… right?
That’s what I thought.
But when I saw their faces inching closer, those stupid, red expressions, about to share their first kiss right in front of me—
“Guys, wait a second!” I stopped them, pulling Sirius away. I heard him grumble and Moony try to pull his boyfriend back—which worked, because Merlin, he’s basically the Hulk when it comes to strength, and my Quidditch-trained muscles were no match.
Remus managed to lift Sirius onto a table, knock over butterbeers onto a few unsuspecting Hufflepuffs, and effectively turn me from a “third wheel” into an Olympic torch.
“REMUS JOHN?! What kind of indecency is this?! Look, I support you, I love you both, but for the love of Merlin, do not make out in front of me! …PADFOOT?! STOP GRINDING ON MOONS!! STOP IT!! PADS! NO! REMUS!! MY POOR INNOCENT EYES! STOP!!”