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1. Your Evil Pet Butt Plug: A Guide to Proper Care and Handling by Anonymous for BlueBeards_Wife

   Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling  

   • Explicit
   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • M/M
   • Complete Work

   19 Feb 2026

   Tags

   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
   • Harry Potter
   • Draco Malfoy
   • Luna Lovegood
   • Hermione Granger
   • Ron Weasley
   • Pansy Parkinson
   • Neville Longbottom
   • Ginny Weasley
   • Blaise Zabini
   • Bill Weasley
   • Curse Breaker Draco Malfoy
   • Quidditch Coach Harry Potter
   • Private Investigator Harry Potter
   • Sort Of
   • Sentient Number Twelve Grimmauld Place
   • Comedy Horror
   • Humor
   • Bad Communication
   • good communication
   • attempts at good communication
   • your honour they're trying
   • Sex Toys
   • Butt Plugs
   • Top Draco Malfoy
   • Smut
   • Eventual Smut
   • Masturbation
   • Anal Sex
   • Blow Jobs
   • Anal Fingering
   • Light Dom/sub
   • (very light)
   • FOF: Draco Tops the Scream King 2026
   • Minor Pansy Parkinson/Ron Weasley
   • Smart Draco Malfoy
   • Neurotic Draco Malfoy
   • Draco Malfoy is Bad at Feelings
   • Harry Potter is Bad at Feelings
   • Light Bondage
   • (only in one chapter sorry)

   Summary

   What Harry wanted: to spend a lazy Saturday morning in the garden, with his cup of coffee and nothing to do. What Harry got: a cursed butt plug, sent by a vicious owl and accompanied by a threatening note. A cursed, semi-animate pet butt plug that hovered at arse-level and veered wildly between ominous and adorable.

   Or: Harry avoids the embarrassment of going to his crush (one Draco Malfoy, a curse-breaker, who could certainly help him) by developing a new hobby as a sex toy investigator.

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   63,454

   Chapters:

   23/23

   Collections:

   1

   Comments:

   13

   Kudos:

   106

   Bookmarks:

   24

   Hits:

   2,297