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Isabeau zipped the tent closed, adorably bouncing on his heels like an excited child. Siffrin feels their gloves against their teeth, and realizes they were trying to bite their nails.
"Are you sure this is okay, Isa?" he checks, cringing as his voice squeaks on the last syllable. "I...I'm still not sure what my answer is. I don't want to...lead you on."
Isabeau turns to Siffrin with a patient smile. "Yes, Sif, I'm sure. I'm a big boy! I can decide how much to guard my heart!" He thumps a fist over the aforesaid organ. "I know you might not reciprocate, and I'm okay with trying this anyway! Worst case scenario I get to kiss someone really cool and cute at least one time!"
Oh.
...Siffrin hides their blushing face in their cloak. Stars, how does Isa always say just the thing that makes them melt like an ice cream cone in the sun?!?!?
Because he is the sun.
"Okay. Okay. Um. Cool."
Isabeau grins, also blushing like fury, and shuffles over, still on his heels. Siffrin mirrors him, eye on Isa's face. When the eye contact becomes too much for Isabeau, he fixes his eyes on Siffrin's knees. He looks so...cute and exposed, like this. Hugging himself, grinning like a fool, face splashed with shade. Siffrin wonders, what would happen, if...?
Gently, they let themself fall forward juuust enough to knock his knees against Isabeau's and keep them there.
Isabeau's eyes snap up, wide, and his face somehow gets darker. "Eek!"
Oh, that is precious. Like watching a little puppy catch its own tail. Siffrin chuckles, feeling light and free as a rubber band flying. "Having fun?"
"Yyes, normal-style," Isa replies, nodding so quickly it looks like it must hurt his head.
"Cool." Eye contact manages to sustain itself. Siffrin gazes into Isabeau's dark, handsome eyes. Like black holes that could suck them in and keep them safe forever. "So...do you want to try?"
Isabeau's pupils dilate excitedly. He nods.
All right. Kissing time.
Eagerly Siffrin surges forward, pressing his lips against Isa's, parted ever so slightly, tasting lip gloss and smelling the traces of coffee, warm bordering hot and--
A palm against their chest--
They're pushed away.
...They feel hollow. Horrible. Disgusting. Of course, of course this happened, why did they think this would be nice--
Isabeau covers his face, releasing a string of piglike squeals.
Concern for him overrides their self-hatred temporarily. "Isa? Are you okay? What did I--"
"SIF THAT WAS SO AMAZING I THINK I'M GONNA COMBUST."
...Oh! Oh!!! Oh, okay. That's good. They didn't break him.
Isabeau takes a few deep breaths. "Okay. Okay. Sorry, that--I should've--that was so good it was?? a lot at once?? Sorry for pushing you, Sif???"
"Isa, it's fine, I'm glad you stopped when you needed to," Siffrin replies, smiling.
Isabeau is still breathing and squeaking. Gingerly struck with inspiration, Siffrin removes one glove, then the other, then holds his hands out.
Isabeau peeks through his fingers, notices the offer, and then stammers, "Oh! A-Are you sure?"
Siffrin nods, tamping down thrilled impatience. Isabeau carefully lowers his hands, intertwines them with his, and they both shiver at the contact and smile.
"Can we..." Isabeau makes a strangled sound. "Try kissing again? But, uh...lips fully closed?"
Siffrin detaches from Isabeau's hand just long enough to give a thumbs up.
"Okay! Attempt! 2!"
The two lean forward again, closed lip against lip. One...two...three... They pull apart.
Isabeau lets go of one of Siffrin's hands to fan his face. "Ooh boy...you're a good kisser, buddy. Have you done this before or something?"
Siffrin shakes their head. They're not in the mood to get a headache. If they have, it's been excised from their memory as surely as whoever they were kissing.
...
"Well, you're really good at it!" Isabeau says, happily oblivious to their homesickness.
Ah. Here's an opportunity. Siffrin smirks, and Isa's eyes sparkle with anticipation. "I can tell. It's kiss-tal clear."
It's a bit of a reach, but Isabeau guffaws dependably. Siffrin squeezes his hands, watching his chest jump up and down.
This is good. This is... Really, really good. Their heart feels full. They feel so safe, and loved, and unguarded.
...They can't help but recall the Favor Tree. The horrible things he said to one of the most wonderful people they've ever met.
They look up. Isabeau is frowning. "Something up?"
Siffrin bites their lip. Isabeau is looking at them so openly, concern and care written across his face. Like he could still trust them after what happened.
...Well. Maybe they can make it right? At least a little?
"Isa, when we talked on the House roof, you said, um. I could say nice things to you later? To balance it out what I said before? And, um. I'd like to say nice things to you? Now?"
Isabeau's eyes light up. "Oh! Sure, go ahead."
Okay. Okay! Say! Nice things! It's easy! All he has to do is be vulnerable! Tell him what they love about him! Crack open their ribcage and pull their still-beating heart out and let him take a gander at it! Stars, this is going to be so blinding hard.
But...but it's for Isa. Yeah. Siffrin takes a deep breath. They can do this.
"Isa, I...I, um. Didn't really... know anything about myself, when I met you. I didn't know what I wanted, or what I liked. I didn't, um. Feel like a person." Isabeau's eyebrows furrow sadly. Siffrin ducks their head. "But, um. Then I started making puns. And you...laughed. And I..." Siffrin absently runs their finger along Isa's dark, calloused knuckles. "...I felt like I finally had a way to make friends. To be, in this world." They take a deep breath. "Thank you for bringing laughter into my life. You're brave, and kind, and funny, and amazing, and you taught me a lot about love. I'm proud to know you."
They finally dare to look up, and Isa is crying.
Isa is...crying? Huh!?
"Did I say something bad? Are you okay?" Siffrin asks, letting go of Isabeau's hands and holding them up like an awkward bank robber.
Isabeau responds by lurching forward and hugging them, face against Siffrin's shoulder. It's a bit difficult to manage with the size difference, but Siffrin manages to shift into a comfortable comfort-giving position.
"SIF THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL."
...Oh!
Siffrin squeaks. Isabeau giggles wetly, and they... rub his back? How To Comfort Friend?
After a bit, Isabeau pushes away, schooling his expression back to his usual and swiping the tears away like an actor clasping back on a mask. "Oookay." Then he's looking at Siffrin with eyes positively shining, and Siffrin almost forgets how to breathe. "Thank you, Sif. I think I needed to hear that."
Siffrin gives a thumbs up. They're still feeling a bit wobbly after all that vulnerability...but strangely lighter, too! Like they could float up to the sky and roll around in the clouds.
Impulsively, they tackle him to the ground of the tent and rest their chin in his chest. "You said we could cuddle?"
Isabeau stares, then laughs with disbelieving delight. "Sif! You just grabbed me and told me exactly what you wanted! That's awesome!"
It is! Except Siffrin feels a bit like they're going to be taken out back and shot for the crime of having wants.
Isabeau hugs them again, and the two snuggle until the pounding of their pulses fades to something sleepy and comfortable.