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"Loop?"
Loop wasn't planning on getting attached again, honestly. They destroyed their connections just like they destroyed their wish and their cloak and their body and everything they had left after losing everything the first time. They were just going to go on this journey to please their stardust and then they'd find some appropriate hole to lay down in and die. They planned to be polite but distant with their former family. When the bonds of friendship began regrowing, like weeds, not planned in this barren garden, their first instinct was to rip them out. Be mean. But that was utterly unsustainable. These people were all so sweet. Loop could be sharp with their stardust, who had all the same things wrong with him as Loop, but their party, never.
And so, the bonds continued to grow. They were part of the family, again.
They didn't know how they should feel about it.
Mirabelle is perhaps the party member they're closest with. She's kind and easy to talk to and since their first meeting she seemed somehow...charmed? By them? No, that sounds ridiculous. Who would find them charming? But Loop's horrifying experiences ended up giving them a taste for horrifying literature. It was... comforting. To escape into a fiction where they're not the only one who's a clone or an abomination. So they ended up book buddies, and friends, and Loop is deeply grateful for her companionship.
And now she's looking up at them in their shared tent with big, pleading eyes and a frowning lip.
"What is it?" Loop asks. Is this the part where Mirabelle kicks them out of the tent to sleep outside? Because the bugs would be annoying.
Mirabelle shuffles in place anxiously. "Umm. I just wanted to say sorry. For, you know."
...What? "I don't know."
Mirabelle looks somehow both more and less comfortable when Loop says that. "Oh! You didn't notice? I guess I can just--hmhgh. It's just..." She looks at her nails to avoid eye contact. "I've been... ... Staring at you a lot."
"Oh." Loop blinks. They have no idea what that might mean for their friendship or what to say. Line, please~!
"I'm sorry! I know it's rude!" Mirabelle squeaks guiltily.
Mirabelle feeling guilty or bad? That won't do. Reassure her, Loop! "That's alright!" They wave a hand, brushing off her apology. "It's a natural instinct to stare at something like me, I know I'm rather hideous!"
A few seconds of silence pass, getting thicker and thicker as pooling molasses. Loop opens their eyes and Mirabelle has an expression of utter horror.
Oops...? "What did I say wrong?" Loop asks, shifting uncomfortably.
"I DON'T THINK YOU'RE HIDEOUS!" Mirabelle shouts. Loop flinches away. "Sorry, sorry. It's just...why would I think that!?"
Oh, they've really upset her. Loop thanks the stars she doesn't seem angry, at least. They think they might kill themself if she was angry with them. (They're not serious about that. Probably.)
"I-I just figured it's an objective fact??" Loop rushes to clarify. "I didn't think you were being mean or something. It's just...I'm not...human."
Mirabelle looks at Loop searchingly. Loop looks at the tent floor. "Sorry. I just... thought you thought that. Didn't mean to say anything bad."
"...Well. I think you're beautiful." Her voice is soft, almost reverent. Loop freezes. Uh. Hwuh. Huh? Mirabelle continues, "That's why I kept staring. And I never realized how lovely the stars were until I saw them up close on you."
Loop flails to find words. "Thank you...?"
Mirabelle misreads their awkwardness. She gasps and covers her mouth with her palm. "Oh, oh, oh I didn't mean it in like a romantic way EEK definitely not." Her eyes widen again. "NOT THAT THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU oh stars it's not that no one would want to date you it's--"
"Relax, Mir. I understand," Loop cuts her off.
(Mir. Madame. Zabeau. Those were your compromises, when you couldn't keep calling them by their titles and using the names you'd lost made you nauseous. Only Bonnie kept theirs.)
Mirabelle relaxes. "Okay. It's...I'm sorry you feel bad, Loop," Mirabelle says sadly. "I'm sorry your Change went that bad. It can't be easy to regret something like that."
Wait. She thinks this was--?
"This wasn't a voluntary change, this isn't Body Craft," Loop clarifies. Mirabelle's eyes widen with puzzlement. "I mean. I guess it's technically Body Craft? It's Craft on the body. But, it was, uh. An accident. A result of Wish Craft." Loop regrets sharing that much as soon as the words leave them. But it felt important that she know. That this wasn't on purpose.
"Oh." Mirabelle says quietly. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."
"Why be sorry?" Loop says, voice weary.
Silence descends on them. Mirabelle looks at Loop's face, and Loop keeps their gaze firmly on a wrinkle in the tent floor as grief sinks deeper and deeper into them. They miss their old body. They never appreciated it, but it was nice. Comfortable. Fluffy hair and calloused hands. Their stardust is cute. Loop used to be cute. They used to be human.
"Loop...may I touch you?"
The orbit of the world comes to an abrupt halt.
"I-If you want? Why?" Loop stutters.
"...I meant it when I said I thought you were pretty. Um, purely aesthetically," Mirabelle mutters. "I want to touch you, that's all."
"...Okay." Loop holds out their arm. If Mirabelle really wants that, they're not going to deny her. She's their leader, after all.
Mirabelle smiles, and, gently, touches her finger to one of their star-like speckles. She traces a line from it to another, and keeps doing that. Her eyes are bright, nearly childish with wonder, she looks at Loop's appendage like it's an honor to hold.
...She seems happy.
She begins to run her hand across their arm, almost like she's petting them and Loop shivers. Mirabelle looks up, questioning, and Loop nods. She smiles, and keeps going.
"It's funny. Your kind of...vibrating? Kind of like a cat purring," she giggles. She runs her hand back and forth and back and forth and Loop is struck with the urge to fall asleep with her doing that. "It's nice. Sensory funsies. Though it's probably impolite for me to use you as a stim toy..."
If Loop has a use, Mirabelle won't throw them away, so they're fine with it. (She wouldn't do that. Loop wants a use anyway.)
Mirabelle continues, sometimes stopping to trace the stars. Her face is soft and benevolent as the moon, her eyes shine with gentle joy, and she loves them.
She isn't supposed to love them.
This body is not meant to be loved.
It's not even human. You're not even a person.
She doesn't know what she's loving.
Loop yanks their arm away and holds it against their chest, scrambling backwards until they hit the tent wall. "You can't," they say.
Mirabelle, shocked by the sudden loss, holds her hands up. "Oh Change! What did I do? What did I do? I-I'm sorry!"
"You didn't--it's--you shouldn't--you can't," Loop stumbles through their words.
"What happened? What's wrong?"
Loop looks down on themself. Disgust churns through them. They want to see regular skin. They want to see their cloak, proof they were loved.
But they don't. They don't deserve it.
"...I was...changed to look like this...as a punishment," they mutter the admission and do not look at Mirabelle's face. They can't bear to see the horror. "I gave up on something important. Because I was a failure, I lost everything and the Universe made me look like this. I shouldn't--I shouldn't feel happy about it."
"Loop..." Mirabelle's breath hitches. "I'm so sorry that happened. You didn't deserve that!"
"I deserved worse." Loop doesn't know why they said that. They shouldn't have said that.
Mirabelle whines. "Loop...can I give you a hug?"
Loop gives a slow nod.
Mirabelle scooches forward and wraps her arms around them. Resting her chin on their shoulder, she squeezes, rhythmically holding gentle or tight, gentle or tight. Loop closes their eyes.
"I'm glad you think I'm pretty," Loop mutters. "I like it. It's...nice. It just hurts to be like this and not have a choice."
"Of course it does." Mirabelle pulls back, resting her hands on Loop's shoulders. "I'm sorry you don't like it. You deserve to feel pretty."
Loop closes their eyes. "Let me know if you have any ideas how," they mumble.
. . .
"I'll admit, I wasn't expecting this," Loop says as Mirabelle sticks yet another sequin to their bright star speckles. Little beams of light in various shades shine off them and bounce on the wall.
"Too late to take this back!" Mirabelle crows.
"Welcome to the Beauty Alliance," Isabeau says, sticking sequins to Loop's back. (They're being very normal about that.)
"Almost done!" Mirabelle sticks one last sequin to them. "Perfect! You're shining now, Loop! Isabeau, hit the lights!"
Isabeau turns off the Craft lights, and...
Oh.
The room is covered in shards of multishaded light that shift and scatter when Loop twitches or moves an inch.
"Twirl," Mirabelle whispers excitedly.
Loop obeys, and as they spin the room around them is a pirouetting kaleidoscope of light, light, light.
Mirabelle and Isabeau whoop, and Isabeau shouts, "Come on in, guys!"
Odile, Petronille, Bonnie, and stardust shuffle in. Their expressions become marvelling, especially once they shut the door and Loop is the only source of light again, a central star to be orbited.
"LOOP'S A DISCO BALL! DANCE PARTY!" Bonnie starts flailing their limbs about wildly.
"I have failed you as a caregiver," Petronille deadpans.
"DANCE PARTY!" Mirabelle grabs Isabeau and starts swing-dancing, and the two loudly shout the lyrics to something with a strong beat. Odile sighs fondly and she takes stardust to slowly ballroom dance, something better adjusted to her old limbs. Petronille tries to teach Bonnie to dance.
Loop twirls. They twirl and twirl and spin and spin and the light moves to their whim and their family is here, loving them, loving how they look,
And for a minute, they think maybe this was supposed to be a blessing after all.