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"Oh, no offense Sunset"
"None taken..."
At this point Sunset started feel like those two words had become her catch phrase, whether she like it it or not.
She knew she hadn't always been the best person, nor the easiest to get along with, but ever since the fall formal Sunset really had been trying to do better. Honest.
So why does it feel like no one sees it. Why can't people just try to trust her.
Sunset already knew her thoughts would slowly drift to darkest parts of her mind, they always did. It was unfortunately very common past time her brain did on sleepless nights like tonight. Which was also an uncontrollable past time, due to her mildly chronic insomnia, whether she liked it or not.
She was currently laying awake on her sleeping bag, on a cleared out spot on Twilghts room. It had only been a week since that whole forgotten friendship situation. And to properly wind down from then, the girls all decided to have a slumber party. Since they've never slept over at Twilght's yet and her parents and brother were on vacation, Twilight's place seem like the best option. Sunset also agreed that this would be a good chance for everything to simmer down, and hopefully, as ironic as it would be, just forget it.
So why was she now feeling like this?
Shoving the blankets of her, she sat up in her sleeping bag and looked around the room.
On one side of Twilight's bed was Applejack , Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie all knocked out in their sleeping bags. While on the other side with Sunset was Fluttershy, Rarity, who both of which were sleeping. Then lastly Twilight's and Spike snuggled comfortably together in Twilight's bed.
Sunset then glanced at the clock on night stand.
2:34
She hadn't even slept for a full hour and was back to struggling to sleep again.
She let out a quiet sigh of frustration and clenched her fists.
'Get it together Sunset'
Sunset told herself. Bringing her hands up to grab her head angrily.
She was being stupid. Her friends loved and cared for her, right? They wouldn't purposely hurt her, or turn on her, or just throw her out.
Throw her out like some old peice fruit you had forgotten to toss in the trash on the counter. A forgotten fruit that had started rotting. A forgotten rotting fruit that had apparently overstayed it's welcome next to the other fruit. A fruit that wasn't actually rotten. A fruit that had cut off it's bad bits to be just had good as the other fruits. A lonly fruit trying to show that it was just as good as the others. A broken fruit that was just as good, if not sweeter on the inside. A fruit that wasn't at all ever rotten. All it ever had was some now covered bruises.
But...
They had. Hadn't they?
Twice already.
The first time, she had thought she had already proven herself. Shown that she really had changed. By helping them beat the Sirens.
But the second there was any doubt, she was left behind and shunned.
Alone crying in the hallways of the school. Called a liar. People laughing at her, 'attempt at sympathy', which was anything but that. All because of some fake Mystaples account.
And now for the first time, Sunset had realized they never actually apologized to her.
Her breath hitched.
With this newest ordeal still fresh and hurting in her mind. She's come to realize that maybe, she wasn't the problem.
It hurt knowing there might be some kind of seed of doubt in her friends trust with her. And it hurt more knowing theres always something that could take her friends away from her in just a blink of an eye.
And that fills her with anger and grief.
Her chest tightens as tears prick her eyes.
Sunset then gets up and rushes to the bathroom. Closing the door but not bothering to lock it.
If she was going to start balling her eyes out over stupid trivial things, she sure as hell didn't want to be seen or heard.
So here was Sunset Shimmer. Curled up in the a sad corner in the bathroom. Anger turned sorrow. Not wanting to think her friends don't care about her.
Because they do care, and Sunset knows that. But some times it just doesn't feel like it. She wanted to say something about it, she really did. The but firey haired girl was just scared, scared they would leave again. And she knows she shouldn't. It was stupid. She was being stupid.
But her tired brain wasn't letting her think straight. Not that it wasn't right about some things.
She hugged herself tighter, shoving her head down deep in to her knees. Trying to muffle her oncoming sobs.
Sunset had always hated crying. It was never something she did much. Even as a filly. It was useless and weak. It never solved problems. It just showed people your too sensitive. And she never liked to show how sensitive she was, even her short temper was a form of sensitivity. It showed how things got to her in the worst way.
She was crying hot tears, wishing it would stop. Wishing everything would stop. Her thoughts. Her crying. Just EVERYTHING.
Will she always be punished for her past mistakes? Did she not deserve to be loved. Even if that's all she ever wanted?
She shook her head in anger, fists balled on her head. Tear stained face scrunched in a pained expression. Head throbing slightly.
There was creak from the bathroom door as it slowly open.
"Sunset....?"
Sunset jerkes her head tword the voice. Blue eyes met purple.
Twilight.
Fuck.
Her eyes widen. Sunset quickly ducks her head, practically springing up from the floor. Hands frantically wiping tears from her blue eyes. Damn, she was so stupid, she was such an idiot. She should've locked the door.
"I-I was just going to bed s-sorry."
Sunset didn't want to notice how horrible her voice sounded and hoped Twilight didn't notice. Even though she already new Twi would.
Sunset wished it wasn't obvious but tried to make dash out the bathroom passed Twilight. She didn't dare make eye contact. She REALLY didn't want anyone to see her like this. Celestia this was embarrassing.
Unfortunately for the fire haired girl, she didn't make it far. Sunset hadn't even made it passed Twilight when she felt a hand firmly grab her wrist.
"Sunset, are you ok?"
Twi's hand still holding Sunset's wrist. Yeah, she wasn't letting go any time soon.
"Sunset..."
They both stood there frozen for what felt like, to Sunset, an eternity. She should've known this would happen. Sunset let out a shaky sigh.
"I'm fine Twilight, I was just going back to bed o-"
"No Sunset, your not fine! We need to talk about thi-"
A rage suddenly filled her chest.
"NO TWILIGHT! WE DON'T, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"
And as quickly as that rage came it left and so did the hand holding hers. She looked at Twilght. Twi's eyes looked teary and she was holding her hand as if burned.
Of course she had to go do it again.
Damn.
For once during this short confrontation, she didn't care about herself.
-------------------------------------------
This could of gone better.
Twilight hadn't calculated the outcome of this confrontation. Well not the reaction anyways.
To be completely honest Sunset hadn't even been what had woke her up. It was actually because of another one Spike's squirrel chasing dreams. She hadn't even known, let alone heard Sunset crying. It was so quiet. Which was also concerning to Twilight.
Ever since she been friends with everyone, she had noticed herself that it was kinda an unspoken thing that Sunset was practically the leader of the group. She was usually the mediator, had a bit of a short temper but usually didn't let that control her since she mostly keeps level headed. The only time Twilght had seen her lash out at some one was at the Frendship Games, which was directed at Twilght her self. Although, looking back at the whole interaction, she now realized that the outburst was mostly from a place a fear for her friends turned to anger.
And the only time she seen Sunset cry was when her memories were being practically ripped out of her head, wasn't pleasant to watch, and definitely was worst to experience.
Definitely not something that Twi would like to see again. Definitely not.
So seeing Sunset curled into herself in the corner of the bathroom, shaking, and silently choking on her own wet sobs, was more than shoking. It straight up scared her.
She wanted-no, needed to help her. Sunset was always there for her when she needed it, every time without fall, always. She had wanted to do the same.
She did try...she really did.
Maybe she was to direct?
Or was she too pushy?
She should prob-
"Twilight, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to. Are you ok."
Twilight was then pushed out of her worried thoughts and brought back to reality. Nowlooking up, finally getting a good look at Sunset. And dear sweet Clestia, she looked awful.
Her face was tear-stained, and her eyes were red with dark circles underneath them. The look on other girls face was one of concern. But Sunset's concern was not for herself but for Twilight.
Why? Sunset was the one hurting. So why was she apologizing to her.
Twilight wasn't going to think about that right now. She took a breath and move her hand forward.
---------------------------------------------------
Sunset felt a hand on her arm. She flinched slightly at it. It cleary wasn't something she was expecting. The purple skinned girl probably knew that to.
Damn, she was so tired. Tired of this. Tired of her thoughts.Tired of everything! She just wanted it to stop. Why couldn't she just be okay? To FEEL okay?
She breathed, breath shaking a bit.
"Please Sunset... I know something's hurting you...and you don't have to tell me everything, I promise I won't tell anyone okay, I just need to know...are you okay...?"
"I-I do-"
The amber girl's voice went dry, and her voice hitched, throat and chest feeling an unfamiliar pain.
"N-no, I'm not okay"
Her voice manged to say before dropping to her knees, Sunset's arms wrapped around her self. Tears began to fall once again.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me, I don't, I'm sorry..."
She was so stupid, crying like a 6 year old, a child, for no reason. She was pathetic, so, so-
She then felt Twilight's arms around her and opened her eyes, she hadn't noticed she had closed them, seeing Twilight hugging her.
"Why...?"
Sunset whisper.
"Because, your my friend. And you were always there for me when I needed it. I'm just returning the favor."
Twilight's only reply was a thought full 'hm' from Sunset as a response.
Sunset wasn't ok, not right now, not tonight. But for once that night it was okay. Because she didn't have to be. And that was okay.