Work Text:
Mornings in the palace were never quiet.
“I. HATE. YOU!”
“WELL, NEXT TIME YOU SHOULD THINK ABOUT IT BEFORE TAKING THE LAST MUFFIN! MY MUFFIN!”
Columbina screamed back at Childe as she stuffed the last chocolate chip cookie in her mouth, making her look like an overgrown hamster.
“Come on! The muffins were uneven!”
Columbina and Childe kept bickering in the background.
Moving up the table, Pierro and Capitano sat across from each other.
“So,” Pierro began, one hand already massaging his temples “You gave a name to those…things?”
Capitano nodded for nth other time this morning, replaying the conversation too many times “This is Furfur, this one is Crocell, Raum is here, Vepar is this little guy and, last but not least, meet…” a bit of suspense “Frank.”
Frank weaved at Pierro.
If you watched closely enough you could see smoke coming out of Pierro's head. “From now on I'm having breakfast with Fire Water and muscle relaxers.”
Pierro was now massaging his temples with both hands “And now you tell me you are teaching them how to write?”
Raum looked up from the sheet of paper where he was writing very shakily ‘hi’.
Arlecchino joined the fight for the cookies, obviously taking Columbina's side, screaming every insult she could think of at Tartaglia, who was also trying to destroy everyone's eardrums.
Pulcinella gave a low chuckle before coughing “Ah, young people are so full of life…Tartaglia, be a dear and pass me the sugar.”
And like a lever being switched, Childe demeanor did a complete 180°, he stopped screaming, got up and brought the sugar bowl to Pulcinella; if Childe had a tail he would be wagging, Capitano swore.
But he couldn't care enough and he turned to feed another bite of pancake to Frank.
Then, everything happened as if time slowed down.
Pulcinella took a teaspoon of sugar from the bowl.
At the same time, Furfur jumped on the table, taking with them a big green bowl.
Pulcinella stirred his coffee.
Vepar and Crocell helped Furfur set up the bowl, now it looks suspiciously like a shield.
Pulcinella brought the cup closer to his mouth and not even half a second later he spat out the coffee, his eyes comically bulging out.
Everyone immediately quieted down and all five gatos slowly emerged from behind the bowl-shield.
Pulcinella took a deep breath “I think someone put salt in the sugar bowl.”
Capitano knows what will happen now, they're going to blame each other, he will keep quiet about Raum disappearing last night.
—
One late night, Columbina crawled out of her room in search of a great treasure!
Sweets.
Singing takes a lot of energy, what can I say?
She tiptoed into the kitchen, but found she wasn't alone; all five gatos were already munching on some cookies.
She squinted her eyes, thinking, before whispering “What's inside?”
One gato got up and wrote on a suspiciously conveniently placed piece of paper with an even more suspicious pencil.
“Did you make these?” Columbina inquired further.
The gatos all nod proudly, offering the plate to the girl.
She very slowly reached for the cookies on top, sniffed it just in case it was poisoned and while glaring at the gatos, she took a bite.
A single tear drop fell from her eye.
The gato disappeared before she could do anything.
“I was betrayed” more unshed tears collected in her eyes.
She should have noticed the empty pack of raisins on the table.
—
“Capitano, with all due respect, what the fuck do you have on your helmet?” Signora stopped in the middle of the corridor, she really regretted not having a kamera with her.
“Oh, this?” Capitano removed one of the googly eyes from the helmet “The gatos really liked them and put them on every object they could find.”
Before Signora could start laughing, a racket came from down the hallway, like a whole stand of weapons falling down on a poor guy that let out a scream far too similar to Childe's.
Capitano and Signora looked at each other, silently hoping the other would break the silence first.
“Was it…” Capitano decided to go first, begging with all he had she wouldn't understand the gatos did this “...your doing?” wow, smooth Captain
“Yes.”
Ok, he didn't expect this.
“Now, you'll keep quiet unless you want Pierro's anxious ass following you around.”
Capitano stayed quiet for a bit; he was taken back, he never saw Rosalyne like this (Maybe he did, but they don't talk about that).
“If you don't, I'll tell Pierro what they did to the sugar that morning.”
So we are blackmailing too, now.
“You wouldn't, also, who told you that?”
“I wouldn't, also, the gatos told me.”
If Signora could see his eyes maybe she could understand his feelings a bit better and not feel like she is having a conversation with a rock.
“How-”
“Capi, dear, they never talked to you?”
“I'll take that as a no.”
A few hours later, a terrible scream was heard from the same corridor, a poor maid found Capitano catatonic in the darkness and so began “The Night Knigh Vengeful Ghost” rumours.
—
“You know, I misplace things more and more often these days, Dottie.”
Pantalone sipped his hot tea, sat across from him, Dottore, who was already halfway through munching all the pastries for the tea party later that afternoon.
“Huh?” Dottore looked up at him “The fuck am I supposed to do with that information? Crush your skull open to cut up your brain in thin slices and find out what's wrong with it?”
Pantalone looked down at the sweets, all sense of hunger suddenly disappearing “charming.” He snarled.
Dottore shrugs “Maybe you drink too much tea and coffee, how many did you have today?”
Pantalone shrinks back in his chair in shame “Not many,” 21, 13 mugs of tea (not counting the one in his hands) and 8 cups of fontainian coffee, it's not even 3 P.M.
Dottore hummed but it quickly turned in a small indignant cry when his hand was swatted away from the pastries.
“Enough chit-chat, I should get ready for the party,” Pantalone stood up, dusting away imaginary crumbs “come on, the door's that way, Dottie.”
And in less than 5 seconds he was pushed out of the office with only 2 more sweets he managed to snatch at the last minute.
How rude of the Banker to kick him out, OK, it's kind of fair, he did break into his office, but they're like best pals, it's normal, he was so overreacting…
.
.
.
Ok, maybe he was stalling; to getting his lab he had to take a very particular corridor, one he's been trying to avoid for 4 days now, crashing on Pantalone's divan.
The corridor in question was recently protagonist of a rumour: two weeks ago a maid was found unconscious in the middle of the hallway, when she woke up she started to rumble on and on about a dark figure in the shadows towering over her, the corridor stretching and warping, the figure, that she described as a dark Knight, reaching out for her just before she fainted.
Being a man of science, he normally wouldn't believe ghost stories, if he didn't see THE HALLWAY FUCKING STRETCHING WITH HIS OWN EYES.
There's definitely a logical and scientific explanation but he wasn't so sure of science since he started his experiments on the gatos, they seemed to violate everything he ever knew: he would cut one in half and the two parts would immediately fuse together as if nothing happened or rarely became two separate individuals that mirrored each other movements before reforming as one, and every single time they would giggle and act like it's a fun little game.
In the corner of his eyes he saw one of the little white shits going towards that cursed corridor.
He stopped his train of thought to look at the creature before grabbing it by the ears; they could be useful if any idea come to him on his walk to his lab, hoping to forget about the rumour.
It was after 10 minutes of meticulous thinking he realised the trek to his lab was taking a bit too long, he sighed slowly, knowing he was fucked.
*Sweet Tsaritsa, have mercy.*
He now noticed how the walls looked like they were breathing, the floor had a heartbeat of his own, everything seemed made out of white marble, no other sound was heard and definitely nobody heard him, beside the gato, scream when a pale hand covered in white bandages grabbed his shoulder, like nobody heard his body fall when he was knocked out
—
“WHY DID HE SCREAM?!?” The woman screeched, louder than Dottore; all her hair was raised as she stared wide-eyed at the man she just knocked out cold.
Frank got out from under Dottore, who squished him when he fell, and jumped on his back “My brothers! We slayed the evil titan!” He announced proudly, the “walls” and “floor” started to melt and take back the forms of the other four gatos who all started cheering.
In the meanwhile the woman got down to her knees to see if the man was still breathing. He was.
Vepar turned to her, still giggly from their prank “What are you doing here, mama?”
She snapped her head towards Vepar, still taken back, her cat ears slowly going back to their relaxed position “I was coming to check on you guys, you rarely come home these days.” Vepar shyly turned away “Sorry…”
“But, I do have something to ask you,” Mama scratched the back of her head, looking back down at the doctor “Who is this?”
Somewhere, in another wing of the palace, Arlecchino, Sandrone, Signora and Pantalone were hosting their tea party.
Signora chuckled “You know, this reminds of someth-”
Arlecchino teacup falling and shattering on the floor silenced everyone; she looked like she had the biggest revelation of her life, which was true “Clervie didn't have imaginary friends…” she said slowly “she met the gatos.”