Chapter Text
Mike furrowed his brows as he stared at the mirror, the reflection that bore right into him staring back. It felt as if was taunting him with his slanted posture, curls that coiled unevenly, and the perch of his empty lips. He could feel his gaze burn upon himself, a worm of pity stirring itself through his stomach until he felt his sides ache. He had no one to blame but himself.
In mere seconds he could feel his grasp on the sink tightening as everything came rushing back. As if he stood idly behind a gun, pulling the trigger with an instinct of fear. He hadn’t meant to. But words could kill. He had learnt that the hard way. What had it cost? Everything.
“It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!”
Mike shook his head as his hands slammed at his side, his eyes scrunching shut as the word was seeped from his lips. He hadn’t meant it. Not truly.
Will idly stood there. All words left on his tongue slowly traveled back down his throat in a mere swallow. There was no way to come back from that.
“Will listen I- did you really think we’d spend the right of our lives in my basement? Never knowing girls? Be realistic!”
The words endlessly stammered out of Mike’s lips, there seeming to never be an end to every blow that mercilessly fell upon the unrequited duo.
“Yeah well, I guess I did. That was my one last bit of reality left.”
Will’s eyes seemed to be growing glassy as the words barely came out above a hush. If Mike hadn’t been paying attention to the way Will’s lips trembled with each word, the rain would have drowned them out.
Perhaps it was better if he drowned. He wouldn’t have to stand here as he watched Will’s eyes fall upon him in a look he’d never seen before. Hatred.
“Will please I-“
“I’m going home.”
“You can’t go home! It’s raining!”
Will simply just stared back at Mike with his lips sitting in a frown. It sent daggers through Mike’s heart. He had done this. He had hurt Will. It never should have led to this.
“Goodbye Mike.”
Will didn’t even bother looking at Mike as the words came out inaudible. Part of Mike wished he would just reach out and grab Will’s wrist. His heart screamed to do something.
But it was too late. Will was already gone.
-
“Michael!”
Mike lurched backwards as he heard his name called from downstairs, her voice travelling from the kitchen as it wove its way up the staircase. His mother’s voice was straining with each syllable, a clear expression that meant she had been calling him for a while. A quick gulp had made its way down his throat.
“Coming!” He called back, his gaze finally averting from the glass in front of him. But his grip remained ever so tight on the sink that his knuckles began to bear white as his veins popped from beneath his snow white skin. Goddammit he really needed some sun. But he lost his.
He couldn’t dare to look back one last time at who he was as the words had processed through his fucked up head. Everyday he regretted it. He regretted who he turned out to be. He had never meant to hurt anyone, but it seemed that was all he did. All he deserved. Hurt. Hurt. Hurt
“Michael Theodore Wheeler! Your breakfast is getting cold!”
His mother’s tone had started to become harder, the pitch of her voice raising a slight octave that it had finally made him snap free from the thoughts that enclosed him in its tightening grasp. For once he was thankful for his mother's constant nagging.
As he cascaded down the stairs, he was met with the welcoming aroma of the hearty taste of bacon as the glistening smell of freshly flipped pancakes. He could feel his stomach twisting, but for all the wrong ways. He wasn't hungry. It seemed he never was anymore.
"Oh Mike you're finally up! We were starting to worry about you", his mother said as she stepped to the side of the stove where she had doughy batter lingering on a charcoal colored pan. His mother gave a quick notation to Holly, who was right beside her, to take over as she cascaded towards Mike.
"You never sleep in on weekends. Are you running a fever? It's nearly 8:30", she sighed as she raised a hand towards his head. He knew he wasn't the epitome of health, but he couldn't have looked that bad. I guess that's what happens when you're in love with-
"Good god Karen he's fine! He probably just stayed up too late on his goddamn whatever", his father said where he sat at the dining table, a newspaper in one hand as the other was occupied with a steaming cup of coffee. He hadn't looked up once as the words came out. He never did and he never would.
"Well heaven forbid I look after my children Ted", she snapped back. It was rare the two ever lost their temper in front of their children, but with Holly reaching an older age and their two other kids basically independent, they've let their "picture perfect" image slip behind walls.
"Mom I'm fine, I swear! Dad's right I was just- On my walkie talkie all night!" he quickly lied with what his father had left available for him to adjust into a believable story. Though he didn't even know where his walkie talkie was or if it even had batteries. He hadn't needed it when he started to ghost the party.
"If you're sure hun. . Just at least eat some breakfast and drink plenty of fluids", was all his mother could comply with. She let her hand fall from Mike's head as she placed a motherly kiss on her cheek before returning to her position next to Holly who was staring awfully hard at him.
He simply blinked a few times and by the third one his sister was already engulfed into a mother-daughter conversation with their mother. He took it as nothing as he took his own seat at the table. His father didn't notice. He hadn't even reacted to the squeaking and shuffling of the chair. He was practically invisible.
-
Breakfast had blown by smoothly. His mother and Holly had two more batches of pancakes to flip before Holly took her own seat as their mother finished the bacon before arriving at hers. Once everyone was seated Holly bragged about how her and Mary had pulled a prank Derek, their mother laughing, and their father behind his newspaper.
Mike just sat there picking at his pancakes with his fork as two strips of bacon sat at the corner of the plate, the stray crumbs beginning to float in the excess syrup. He felt isolated even from his own family. But he had caused it to begin with. Push. Push. Push. No one gets hurt.
"Mike you've got to eat something if you want to feel better, you can't expect to operate on an empty stomach", his mother finally voiced as she finally looked in his direction, a smile of pure concern spread across her softly aged features. Why hadn't he inherited her genes?
"Even your father agrees! Don't you Ted? How your son needs to eat?" she pressed on as her gaze traveled towards her husband who hadn't even flinched once at the mention of his name, newspaper still blocking his only view towards his family.
"Mhm yeah Michael, listen to your mom", was all his father had responded with, his gaze never surrendering from today's "breaking news". This was met with a sour expression from his mother before it softened once landing upon Mike at last.
"See, now eat before I make you do the dishes this morning" his mother teased in his direction, "you'll be too busy to hang out with your friends."
The sudden mention of his "friends" left a sour taste in his mouth. Were they his friends? He hadn't spoken to them in weeks. He hadn't barely even spoken to Nancy due to strong affiliation with the party. He didn't know whose side she even played for anymore.
"Ok", was all he had managed to say in regards to his mother's soft blown threat. To try and please her he let himself take one bite of bacon, trying to plaster the best smile to his ability as the dry meat washed down his throat. Luckily this was met by a soft smile and a little nod. Thank god.
If it made his mother this happy maybe just maybe he would try a few more bites. He'd hate for her to accidentally take it as him disregarding her food that she had worked so very hard on this early morning. It had been a weekly tradition for pancakes on Sunday ever since he could remember.
But he had been different all those years ago. Naive. Scared. In love. No. He wasn't. He couldn't have been under those circumstances.
Now he didn't even know who he was anymore. If he had anyone. He had his mother he guessed. Maybe Holly? A little of his father? Or did he ever have a little bit of his father? Did he? No. He never would either.
He had tried countless times in his youth to connect with his father, but he never could. He could never catch the ball. He could never throw the ball. And that's what hurt. He would never please his father as his only son. No matter what. He ruined everything.
-
The rest of breakfast had worked out smoothly. Well as smoothly as it could in the Wheeler household. Mike had managed to eat one and a half pancakes and both pieces of bacon. Now he and Holly stood at the sink as they washed dishes. He only found it fair as his mother requested earlier.
They stood there in silence as Mike dipped the plates and forks in soapy water, passing them to Holly who dried them and placed them to the side to be organized for later. They naturally worked as a perfect duo. It was refreshing after everything else.
"You know, you really worried mom earlier. She really did think you were dead", Holly finally piped up as Mike handed her the last plate, a dash of soap trinkling down his faded band shirt he so happened to have been sleeping in.
"Well she freaks out over nothing", he said rather stiffly as he let his fingers rub against the darker spot that aligned his shirt. This led to Holly meeting him with nothing more than a scoff and an eye roll, placing the final plate next to the others.
"I just mean, she has every right to be scared after everything. It would be a shame if we lost you", she said in a hushed tone as her gaze now traveled to the floor. This made Mike suddenly overcome with guilt as he placed a gentle hand on her should with an affirming grasp.
"I promise I am not going anywhere in like. . Ok you're stuck with me until I croak", he smiled lopsided, tilting his head to the side as Holly couldn't help but smile back, a quick giggle making itself from her lips. All that did was make his smile beam a little brighter.
"Pinky promise?" she quickly asked as she raised her right pinky, examining Mike with a not so imitating glare. Instead it just left him feeling full of guilt. Would he break this promise in the end? It seemed to be another trait he was good at.
"I pinky promise", he finally said as he looped his own pinky around his sister's. They both smiled fondly at one another before Mike leaned back into the sink as he flung a small wad of bubbles towards her.
An erosion of giggles finally erupted into the air as Holly leaned in as well and flicked them towards her brother. In the end they remained their in a soapy mess, giggles flooding all throughout the kitchen as the sun rose higher in the sky, basking everyone below.
-
Luckily it hadn't taken them that long to finish the dishes. Unfortunately they had quite the new mess to clean up. Though in the end Mike offered to take Holly to the arcade as one last charade to spend quality time with someone who actually liked his company.
They had opted on biking, even though Mike had thrown out countless times how nice it would be to walk, which was quickly vetoed by Holly. If there was anything she was going to do, it was going to be making the most out of the bike she'd gotten for her latest birthday.
They had finally made it to the arcade, placing their bikes along the rack. Ironically enough it was already littered with bikes. That struck Mike as off. Usually the arcade failed to boom with business on Sunday's due to church and other activities that followed.
Shrugging it off, he turned towards Holly who was already radiating with pure joy. Apparently there had been a new game here she had heard about from her classmate's and it was all they could talk about. Had to be really important if Holly gave a damn.
"I'm telling you Mike! The graphics are like top notch and nothing like the games you've played! And there's even a princess", Holly teased as she looked towards Mike with a devious smile worming its way across her lips.
All he could do was chuckle back awkwardly. If anything he was the princess that needed being saved from whatever hand he had dealt himself into. Though actually he might be the misunderstood dragon that perches itself between the long awaited princess and prideful knight. Yeah.
"MIIIKKEEE COME ON!" Holly whined as she dragged Mike further along, his foot having barely made its way through the door before he was met with such whiplash. When had everything suddenly changed? All the old games? Prizes? Staffers?
"Ugh we came too late. There's already a line" Holly huffed before straightening her posture and examining the group in front, "hey aren't those your friends?" Mike suddenly felt himself tense as Holly's words blurted themselves into the air, finally looking where she was standing.
He could feel his heart stop in that sudden moment, breathe getting caught in his throat. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
"Max!" Holly beamed as she ran towards her friend, the auburn haired girl turning at the mention of her name. Her eyes quickly brightened as she saw the blonde charging towards her, pulling her into a massive hug.
"Hey Holly! What are you doing here-" Max greeted before looking up, her expression quickly twisting at the sight of Mike who just stood there like a fir tree in the middle of the desert. Was he really that obvious?
"Mike." Was all Max muttered, which caused the rest of the party to tear their gaze away from the game. Well most of them. One particular party member was missing.
Mike winced as he watched Max's eyes narrow, Lucas just glaring with an arched brow, Dustin's beaming face mixing into a frown, and El with such a deadpan expression he wouldn't know how she had felt if he hadn't personally known her.
"Hi guys-" Mike mumbled awkwardly, swaying on his heels as he tried his best to give his most approachable lopsided smile as if he hadn't purposely ghosted and blocked these people from his conscious after the battle of their lives.
He was feeling pretty confident in trying to blurt a lie out of here. An excuse on how his mother needed him home for laundry. Or how his dad suddenly needed his son to mow the lawn for a few quick bucks.
"So how is-" He had barely managed before he noticed the last figure that strayed towards the back, his throat running dry as all words suddenly disintegrated against his tongue. No. It couldn't be. Could it?
"Will. . ?"
"Hi Mike. ."