Chapter Text
You went outside to find your blue-haired friend. You wanted him more than that, but humans had such odd customs when it came to dating, and you didn’t know what to do to get him to stop being scared of you.
When you were little, you didn’t have friends. Everyone was scared of you. You and your endless power.
You would’ve been a good friend. Maybe.
You called Lilia “Father” because yours must have not wanted you, and you called Lilia’s child “that thing” because he meant nothing to you.
He calls you his big brother now, as if he can’t remember how your eyes bore into him when he first climbed into your lap. You call him Silver because it’s his name, and try not to use your magic on him when he steals your things.
Silver makes a friend named Sebek, and you try to repent for your earlier sins through him. He worships you like a God.
Lilia watches you three as he takes more and more pills for his problems.
Your friend dotes on his own brother endlessly. Calls him nicknames, ruffles his hair, appeases his childish whims. Rumors reach your ears, and tell you he built his brother from nothing but metal, as an ode to the version of him who died.
He’d probably never talk to you again if he heard how you used treat Silver.
Idia. His name is Idia. Professor Trein called out his name, and he raised his hand, and now you know that your friend’s name is Idia Shroud. You keep saying it, flapping your hands while you do. It stays in your mouth like the aftertaste of ice cream.
Idia cried about something. You know, because you felt his cheeks, and it was wet. He flinched when you did it.
“Apologies.” You say. “I saw my younger brother’s friend cupping his cheek, and I assumed it was a friendly gesture.”
Idia knits his eyebrows together. “You-you have a younger brother?”
You nod. “Silver.” Your hand is still on his cheek. “And sometimes Sebek.”
You two stay like that for a while. You think it’s a while anyways. He suddenly shakes his head, and leaves without a word.
You didn’t realize that he didn’t know you two were friends until you asked him to come over, and he wondered why.
“For we are friends.” You reasoned. “That is what friends do, is it not?”
“We’re… friends…?’’ He looked stunned. You must have looked hurt, because he went wide-eyed and started shaking his eyes. “No, it’s not that I don’t wanna be your friend, I mean, it’s not like I have any myself, but, uhm, tell me next time maybe?” He had an awkward grin, and his hair started going as pink as his cheeks.
You thought it was pretty.
Lilia's hands shake as he helps button up your shirt. You wanted to look nice, and he wanted you to be happy.
Silver came in to adjust your hair. Sebek is just there to sing your praises.
“Oh, you look lovely, Malleus.” Lilia says, “Silver, when are you going to start courting?”
Silver sighs. “I'm not sure, father. For now, I'm happy with simply staying with you, and we'll grow old and wrinkled as you point out people you'd think would be a good match for me.
Lilia chuckles and pats him on the head. “Oh dear. Well, I'll try to start pointing out people soon. We don't have that much time anymore, you know.”
That should have been the first sign.
Idia brings his floating voice box. A tablet, he calls it. They don’t exist back home. He says it’s because it makes talking easier. You hated talking when you were little. You would point and sign and write, but you hated opening your mouth. Another chance for you to ruin the conversation. To misinterpret.
To make grandma wish her daughter was still around to fix this.
He brings board games. One is about grotesques. He calls them gargoyles, which isn’t right because grotesques don’t have a purpose and gargoyles do, so you correct him. When you look up, he’s flapping his hands in excitement.
You reach out for one.
He goes still.
Grandmother let you stay at Lilia’s house all you want, because you weren’t being good enough for her. Too loud, too curious, too much.
“Get out!” She’d screech. “Get out!”
“But Grandmother, please! I’m so lonely, and no one will play with me!”
“What nonsense! You are a prince, and here you are complaining about being ‘lonely!”’ She screamed at you for a while.
She wasn’t a mean woman. Sometimes she’d hold you by the hands, and point to the different flowers in the garden, or read you books about the different courageous knights she happened to know.
It must have been your fault. You looked too much like your mother to make her comfortable, and she looked…she looked so tired.
Lilia was the opposite. He answered all your questions, and taught you about kindness, and love, and most importantly: everything you know about gargoyles.
When you sneered at Silver, he let you feel the soft skin, and choose his name. When you cried because the only other kids in the castle were making fun of you, he stayed right next to you as you told how much it hurt.
When he started getting too old to do magic, you shrugged and went on, because you were, at the end of the day, a selfish prince.
The little Shroud, Ortho, comes up to you, asking if you’ll play with his big brother.
“He’s lonely.” He says, quietly. “Please come play with him. He looks sad.”
“I’m lonely too.” You say, even if it’s not a princely thing to admit, and let him drag you along.
Idia Shroud is turning on his bed the way Mother must be turning in her grave to hear about how easily you catch feelings. He immediately sits up when he sees you and Ortho together.
“What is this?” He asks.
Ortho hugs him. “I found you a friend! Now you won’t be lonely!”
You give a small bow. He gives a small wave, before using his hands to communicate with his brother.
He later tells you that he was scolding him in sign language for wasting your time.
“You didn’t tell him you didn’t want me as a friend?”
He gives you a strange look. “Why would I say that?”
You didn’t have any friends growing up. There were no children, and you were scary. Too much power, and no charm.
“That’s… that’s just what I typically overhear others saying when their parents ask them to play with me.” You look away.
You feel him put his head on your shoulder, warming you up. You smile.
Lilia is your friend/father/mentor and he’s going to leave you and your baby brother and his friend/your new younger brother to die.
Your friend can open the underworld.
Maybe he can keep Lilia out of it.
You weep at his feet, begging for him to try. To do anything.
"I'm sorry, Malleus," He says, holding your hands. "I'm sorry. I know it's hard. I know."
He cannot stop him. You cannot stop him. Nothing will stop. You will live forever, and the boy with blue hair and wet cheeks will leave you behind.
You will live forever, and your father has lived too long.
You will live forever, and your sweet baby brother that you used to hate will be buried in the forest he loves so much.
You have too much magic and no one who loves you. You place the roses everywhere, wrapping them around the railings, and the windows and the gargoyles.
People don’t notice the thorns until they’re asleep on the floor with a pricked finger and no more use for time.
Your baby brother doesn’t smile. Why should he? You're his big brother, and he knows you hated him, because you had to go and let him see his past in his dreams. You wanted him to see how much Lilia loved him, how stopping time is a good thing.
Instead, he's sitting on the floor, quivering.
He wakes up Sebek, and Sebek wakes up Idia, because they’re still young and scared.
“No!” You bellow. “Go back! Go back to sleep! Don’t you want to live with me forever?! Don’t you want eternal peace?” You lift a hand, getting ready to blast them back to sleep yourself if you have to.
Idia holds Sebek, Silver and his own brother close to his chest to stop you from hurting them.
“Malleus!” He calls out, voice warbling. “Malleus! Don’t you dare hurt them! I don’t care what you do to me, but if you even dare look at them, I swear to the underworld I’ll kill you!”
They’re shaking in his arms.
You’re scaring them. They love you, and you’re scaring them.
The vines start to fade away with your magic. You’ve used too much, and you’re horrifying.
He stretches his hand out to you.
You’re in the abyss. It’s dark, and there’s nothing here but a small fire and the inside of a cottage.
Sebek is playing with Ortho so that Idia and Silver can play cards.
Lilia stands next to you, wiping tears from his eyes. “Poor baby. It's not your time yet.” He gestures to the cottage. “Look at them. Malleus, you have all you want. You have people who love you.”
“...But…you loved me first. When no one else did.” Your voice cracks.
He takes your hands. “Look at you. Growing up so fast… I'll still be there. You'll always remember me. I know that you will. That's how I'll live on. Through you.”
He kisses your cheek and starts to walk away.
You stretch your hand out to him.
Idia grabs it and pulls you back into your body.
Lilia stands in front of the stairs turning the roses into a flower crown for Silver. He notices you and grins.
You fall into his arms.
“Make sure you thank your little blue haired friend. He pulled me out.” He lets out a sob. “I'm so happy, Malleus. I'm going to see my babies grow up. I can still make them happy. I still have time.” Silver and Sebek hug both of you. You have your father back. He's not going to leave for a long, long time.
You wept at Idia's feet, begging again, this time for forgiveness. For getting back what he never will. For scaring him.
He got on his knees in front of you, and brought you to his chest. He didn't say anything.
You went outside to find your blue-haired friend. You wanted him more than that, but humans had such odd customs when it came to dating, and you didn’t know if he was mad at you for bringing the dead back the way he never could.
Your little brother smiles more, and calls you big brother. It’s odd. You ruffle his hair. His friend/your new little brother doesn’t hold you on such a high pedestal anymore. It’s odd. You hug them both, and let them play with Ortho.
“Are you not scared of me?”
“Why would I be?”
He said it so curiously, as if nothing had happened. As if you hadn’t almost tried to kill him.
He smiles, the small shy one he always has. You don’t want him to be shy with you. That means he’s scared. So you kiss him. He giggles. You kiss him again and again until he’s giddy, and you are too, so you pull into the bed and lie there, looking at him.
“Would you forgive me, if I asked you to?”
He nods. “Only if you forgive me.”
“But you didn’t hurt me.”
“And you didn’t hurt me.” He pulls you to his chest. His heart is still beating. “I’m still alive. You stopped when I told you to.”
You see Ortho’s charging port from the corner of your eye. “...Shroud?”
“Yeah?”
“How is it that I'm able to save Lilia’s life, but… Ortho…”
He looks up at the ceiling. “It was your magic. You must've given him some of it when you didn't notice. I didn't have enough magic to do that for Ortho.”
You take his hand and squeeze it. “I'm sorry, Idia.”
He goes back to being quiet, wiping away at a single tear drop. It reminds you of something.
“That day, when you were crying. What caused it?”
Suddenly he's giggling and he can't stop. “It’s so stupid. So stupid. I thought, oh god. I thought you were in love with someone else.”
“I wasn't!”
“I know that now!” He keeps giggling. “You know who I thought you were in love with?”
“Who?”
“Silver.”
You laugh and hug him.
"Silver!" You call out. "Could you tell father that I'm going on a date with Idia, please?"