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Hyunsuk is having a midlife existential crisis. He’s turning the big age of 30, time passed like a fucking express train that he didn’t even realize that much time had already passed. Music had been his life, still is. He had never been that bothered before by having any love life or the lack there of. He’s still hungry, still pushing for improvement with his passion but as he attends yet another wedding as another friend ties the knot, he is left to ponder and do some self-reflection.
He was left in a daze as he climbed the stairs, coat long discarded in his hand, buttons undone and tie loosened.
“Why did you take the stairs?” Hyunsuk paused in his step and snapped his head up to see Jihoon at the top of the stairs.
“How did you know I was taking the stairs?” Hyunsuk squinted his eyes at him. He can practically see a pair of dog ears and a wagging tail on the younger.
“You said you were already coming up so I waited to scare you by the lift but no one’s coming up so I figu—
“Do you wanna get married?” Hyunsuk cuts Jihoon off.
Jihoon was caught off guard and laughed. “Suddenly? Where did that come from? Do you?” Jihoon brought the question back to him.
Hyunsuk slouched and pouted as he continued up the stairs, “Marriage? I used to like the idea, back when I was younger. But I have never really thought it through because I always thought that’s where everyone will end up eventually you know?”
“Aaaand?” Jihoon raised a brow, tugging Hyunsuk’s discarded coat from his hand and throwing his arm around the older one who leaned in to him, sighing heavily.
“But that’s not really the case right? Not everyone gets married.”
“True, did they pester you at the wedding when you’ll be settling down?” Jihoon opened the door and went in first so he could prepare Hyunsuk’s indoor slippers, helping the elder out of his shoe who grumbled his thanks, ruffling Jihoon’s hair when the younger bent down for his shoes in appreciation.
“No.” Hyunsuk chuckled, “I think even they gave up asking.”
“So, what brought this talk on?” Jihoon followed Hyunsuk as he flopped down the couch.
“Do we have a beer?” Hyunsuk stood up for the fridge and Jihoon followed him with his eyes.
“And now you even wanna drink on it?” Jihoon asked in disbelief. Scoffing as Hyunsuk returned with four cans, handing him one which he accepted and opened but not for him, he handed it to Hyunsuk who set the rest on the table and also opened a can for Jihoon.
“I’m just in the mood for it.” Hyunsuk shrugs as they exchange cans despite having the same drink, sitting back down next to Jihoon.
They were silent for a while, casually taking sips on the drinks they’re nursing when Hyunsuk broke it, “It’s just… the thought of putting myself out there and just thinking of the uncertainty is already making me tired. I guess it really had been so long that I pondered on it, so long that I have already fallen into a comfortable routine and have made peace with myself and I don’t want anyone breaking that.”
Jihoon nods in understanding, listening to the elder. “Besides, how do you even know it’s love?” Hyunsuk continued.
“You don’t.” Jihoon takes a sip of his beer.
“What do you mean?” repositioning himself so he’s facing Jihoon on the couch.
“Hyung, it’s not like any of us has better experience when it comes to that department. But for me, I don’t think anyone knows it’s love. I think they just know where they want to be and the feeling follows.”
“But how do you know it’s that type of love?”
“When you want it to be.” Jihoon chuckles as Hyunsuk scowls at him for making it more confusing. So Jihoon elaborated. “People make excuses. They say people’s rationality is thrown out the window when it comes to love right? That’s because no matter how wrong it might be, people insist it’s love. When couples have a nasty break up, some proclaim they never loved the other anyway when they say the opposite when they were just starting. Therefore, it’s that type of love when you want it to be.”
“Ah, molla.” Hyunsuk took a big gulp of his drink, changing position again so he could lean his head on Jihoon’s shoulder. “I’m already married anyway.”
“What? To your work?” Jihoon laughed.
“To you, silly. Aren’t we mom and dad?” Jihoon stiffened but Hyunsuk didn’t take notice.
“You have to divorce me if you really want to get married for real, ok? Don’t worry, I’ll take custody of our children.”
“Children who might get married for real first?” Hyunsuk laughed at Jihoon’s statement.
“Hyung, wanna do that pact?”
“What pact?”
“If I reach 30 and we’re still both single, let’s get married for real.” Hyunsuk straightened up and looked at Jihoon who was looking at him seriously.
“I’m turning 30, and you turn 30 next year. You do know that right?” That’s his issue? Jihoon’s heart thumped. He just winged that but Hyunsuk’s actually considering it?
“Yeah, so? Marry me next year.” Hyunsuk cupped Jihoon’s face and pulled his face closer to inspect it then sniffed his breath, “are you drunk already?”
“Let’s seal it then.” Hyunsuk wasn’t able to move when Jihoon closed the gap.
“Ya!” Hyunsuk jumped up in surprise after being frozen in place. The “seal” was just a peck but is 7 seconds long.
“You’re the one who invaded my personal space.” Jihoon shrugged, leaning back casually and drinking his beer as if his heart wasn’t about to flow out of his throat.
Hyunsuk stood there, gaping at Jihoon and then quickly snatching the beer out of the younger’s hand. “Alright, that’s enough beer for y—“ the beer was more than half full.
“I’m serious hyung.”
“It’s marriage Jihoon. What you're proposing is marriage.” Hyunsuk sputters, slowly sitting back down and putting the cans on the table.
Jihoon just grinned. “Didn’t you say we’re married already? We’re just making it official.”
Hyunsuk laughed, feeling dizzy. “You’re crazy.”
“And you tolerate it.” Hyunsuk rolled his eyes but didn’t deny.
“It’s not even legal here.” Hyunsuk mumbled under his breath, making Jihoon grin wider. The things he’s worried about. Jihoon shook his head.
“What are you chuckling at?” Hyunsuk huffed.
“Nothing, just thinking about how this—us being married for real— already passed your thoughts.” Hyunsuk’s cheeks tinted pink.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Hyunsuk looked away. “And who knows what happens in a year? You can get a girlfriend or I will.”
“Sure. But our deal is still on, right?” Silence. Jihoon grinned and grabbed the can.
“What?” Hyunsk turned to Jihoon who grabbed his hand.
“I don’t have a ring yet, so this will serve as our promise ring ok?” He says as he slips the pull tab ring from the can on his right ring finger.
“It’s not advisable and sustainable so I’ll get you a chain for it so we can use it as a necklace later.”
“Psh, you have so many things up your sleeve.” Hyunsuk pulled his hand away but didn’t take the makeshift ring from his finger and wore it as a necklace the next day which he never took off until Jihoon’s birthday when it was replaced by a real ring.
_
“A year ago I asked you how do you know it’s love? You answered, “you don’t, just when you want it to be.” For me, how I knew it was love was when I didn’t have to question it any longer. When I didn’t have to wonder if you’d like something, how you’d like your eggs in the morning—“food, you scoundrels!” The members laughed— whether it's the right or the wrong thing, maybe that’s why they say you’ll just know cause I know now, I just do. Jihooni, take this ring, as the sign of my love…” Jihoon’s eyes glistened with unshed happy tears as Hyunsuk slipped the ring on his ring finger.
“Love transcends beyond belief and me being here doing this ceremony is proof of that. I mean, as if being same sex isn’t hindrance enough— even the officiator laughed— us having different beliefs actually didn’t worry me knowing how you respect me and I, you. But you must know if I must, I’m willing to convert.” Hyunsuk shook his head with a smile, “but thankfully that’s not necessary.” Hyunsuk giggled, nodding. “Hyunsukkie, take this ring, as the sign of my love…” Jihoon’s voice shook as he tried not to cry.
“I now pronounce you partners for life.” Whoops and cheers from their “children” echoed at the chapel where they’re officially married.
“Do we really have to?” Hyunsuk eyes the children as he tries to lean back further from Jihoon.
“Of course, we have to seal it. It’s not like we haven’t done mor—“ Jihoon was silenced when Hyunsuk—who was pulling away from the kiss— kissed him full on the lips to shut him up but before Hyunsuk could pull away, Jihoon grabbed his face to hold him in place and licked his lips to gain entrance.
“You’re too young for that.” Jeongwoo covers Junghwan’s eyes.
“You’re only a year older and it’s not like I haven’t caught you and my best friend making out.”
“Hey!” Doyoung flushed while Haruto laughed out loud.
“Kids.” Junkyu shook his head, rubbing the back of Yoshi’s back who was full on sobbing.
Jaehyuk just grinned, arms thrown around Asahi’s shoulders who’s busy capturing the moments of the couple.
💜❤️
For you, how do you know it’s love?