Chapter Text
Books. So many books.
Bilbo had lost count of how many there were. And the thought of how many more he still needed only made him more despondent.
Not that he didn't love reading. At home in Bag's End, he had hundreds of beautiful books.
Home…
Bag's End wasn't his home anymore. Not after he'd chosen the Dwarves.
For Thorin.
He was his home now.
Not his hobbit hole. Not his armchair. His books.
But his beloved.
He was glad he'd stayed in Erebor. To watch the mountain slowly blossom again.
To hear old stories and create new ones.
He was also proud that Thorin had asked him to be his royal advisor. But if he'd known it would be so much work, he would have thought twice.
Though the answer would probably have been the same.
Dwarven culture. Language. Tradition. Economy.
How many more lessons did he have to take before he was deemed worthy? He'd fought a dragon! Survived the battle!
Thorin cured of his dragon sickness.
And yet… wasn't he good enough?!
Oh. And then he'd been so stubborn, helping Fili and Kili with their roles as princes. They were so young, with so many responsibilities.
And Bombur in the kitchen. He needed help cooking for all the dwarves. And…
Tired. So tired.
It tugged at his head and made it heavier. A headache. It was one of those headaches that Thorin had gently massaged away. His large, calloused hands on his soft skin. While he'd whispered softly that such a headache was far too much for his little hobbit.
And he couldn't carry Erebor alone.
Oh, Thorin.
Bilbo missed him.
Bilbo missed him so deeply.
But Thorin was busy being king. And Bilbo wasn't allowed in the royal chambers for… 'safety'. He could wear the poor king down. Yes, imagine that.
An exhausted king.
Bilbo suspected the old dwarves simply didn't appreciate their king courting a mere hobbit.
Oh. He would do anything to sleep now.
In a warm bed. With soft blankets. Preferably with his king beside him.
He stared at the candle on his desk. The fire danced softly in the gentle breeze of his breath.
Maybe if he closed his eyes for a moment…
Just for a moment…
He gently laid his head on the table.