Work Text:
Sunday, November 5, 2017
"Kasahara-kun," Professor Ito poked his head into my room, "I'm going out to run some errands. Did you need anything from the store? Anything special you want to eat?"
I glanced up from the book I was reading, stifling a yawn. "I don't really need anything. Oh, but if it's not too expensive, would it be okay to get a box of those cookie dough protein bars? I don't need them or anything, but they're an easy snack for track club..."
The professor looked scandalized by my implication that I was being a bother. "Of course I'll get those for you, it's important to have a good snack for your workouts! Do you need anything else?"
I shook my head. "No, I have everything I need at school. Thanks for asking."
"Okay, then I'll be out for a couple of hours. If you get hungry, there's still some leftovers in the fridge, or maybe we can go eat when I get back. Okay?"
"Sure, that sounds great." After a moment, I offered a half-smile, not wanting him to think I didn't appreciate the offer. "I'll hold off until later, then."
"Yeah, I want to try that new ramen shop... well, I'll be going now!"
I waited until I heard the apartment door open and close again behind him before setting my book down with a sigh. Is this what normal people are like? Am I ever gonna get used to this...?
The couple that adopted me rarely asked about my needs, though they were pretty generous about providing the basics for me. I was never without stuff like school supplies or clothes, and most of the necessities were the nicer, more stylish and popular variations. I was never teased for having cheap-looking things, though thinking back on it, that was probably more for their sake than my own; they didn't want to look bad in front of their peers and the kids of those peers. And when their business was going well, there were occasional treats like special meals and video games. But there was never the casual discussion of what I wanted or needed; they just got me what was necessary or what they thought I'd like without asking for my input.
I set my head down on the bed with a sigh, closing my eyes. I'm sure Professor Ito grew up with a nice family that genuinely cared about him. Mr. Suzubishi too, from what I can tell. This must be normal.
Still, I couldn't quite accept the idea that these two people, unrelated to me in any way, would go out of their way to do things for me. It wasn't an attempt to win me over or anything like that. They were just genuinely nice and enjoyed doing things for others without expecting anything in return.
"I can't do that," I muttered, pushing myself up off the bed. I wasn't expected to do anything around the apartment aside from keeping my room reasonably clean, but ignoring chores that needed to be done felt strange. My adoptive parents had always gone on and on about their 'expectations' for me, not just with the programming, but with maintaining the house as well. Most of the chores had fallen to me, because they were busy working on their business. Maybe that was why I hated being neat and clean now; too many hours spent picking up after other people who weren't exactly paragons of cleanliness themselves. If I ever had to scrape dried food off of plates again in my life, it would be too soon.
Heh, kinda seems like Professor Ito is the same.
The apartment was always spotless when Mr. Suzubishi was around. For some reason, he loved to clean and do chores, washing all the dishes by hand, sweeping and vacuuming the floors, dusting the shelves, and doing the laundry, all without help from anyone. In fact, if anyone offered to help, he insisted that he found the repetitive tasks relaxing and almost meditative. It was similar to the appeal of knitting, the satisfaction of a job well done.
Yeah, rich people were definitely weird.
Professor Ito, on the other hand, hated cleaning and chores. It wasn't much of a problem when Mr. Suzubishi was on short business trips, but the most recent one had been extended a few times, and it had been almost a month since he'd headed off to America. The apartment was starting to resemble my dorm room, minus the dirty socks all over the floor. Though maybe there would be socks all over the place if I wasn't visiting every weekend...
Well... since I'm living here, it's only fair to help out a little.
I stretched and yawned, then headed out into the hallway. The professor had been complaining about the laundry, so it wouldn't hurt to take care of that. He'd been using the washer as his laundry basket because the actual basket was stuffed with clean clothes that had been sitting since god knew when. It took only a few minutes to gather up the few items that hadn't made it into the washer and start a load, and then I grabbed the basket and hauled it into the living room.
I dumped everything out on the couch and began sorting it into piles by type. Man, he really goes through a lot of socks... and all of them are handmade. Is it really okay to put these in the washer?
My face colored a bit as I uncovered the first of many pairs of underwear, plain grey briefs in a size that was too small even for me. I made a face and picked them up, shaking them out and laying them out flat on the couch. No big deal. We're all guys here, so who cares, right? It wasn't like my underwear had never gotten mixed in with theirs, and there were clothing mixups all the time at the school. At least here, it all belonged to adults who didn't get gross and sweaty.
The pile shrank faster than I expected as I separated t-shirts from work pants, and it wasn't long until I was down to a jumble of underwear and socks. I sighed and dug in, carefully stacking the colorful socks in pairs, smoothing out the briefs as I added them to the pile, and then--
"The hell is this?!"
My mouth fell open as I stared at the translucent scrap of fabric in my hand. It was so covered in frills and lace that it took me several moments to identify what I was holding. The second I realized, I dropped it with a gasp.
"Oh my god, why are there panties in the wash?!"
My eyes went round. Holy shit, is Professor Ito cheating? I can't believe it... he doesn't seem like the type to do something like that at all! But why else would these be in here? They can't have gotten mixed in from somewhere else, right? It's not like the shared laundry room...
I swallowed hard, staring down at the incriminating frilly underwear. But with Mr. Suzubishi away all the time... I mean, he just threw it in the wash like it was no big deal. Do they have some sort of open relationship? Heat gathered at the back of my neck, the tingle foreshadowing the sweat that broke out a few seconds later. No way, Mr. Suzubishi is so stuck on the professor, he'd never share...
Shit, what was I gonna do? The only option was to jumble everything back up and stick it back in the basket, and pretend I'd never touched any of it.
No, that wasn't true. I could confront the professor about it, but...
What am I gonna do? I'll feel awful if I keep it a secret, but if I say something, it'll completely destroy their relationship, won't it? But Mr. Suzubishi will find out eventually, and if he finds out that I knew and didn't say anything, he'll be so disappointed...
"Ugggh," I pressed my hands to my head, "I don't wanna be responsible for this..."
Not again. Not another couple that couldn't get along, fighting around me at first, then dragging me into it like I'd somehow caused the problem just by existing. Hell, I'd probably take the brunt of the blame for 'snooping around' and finding the evidence. This would be so much worse than a fight over money and a failing business; for a couple that never had to worry about mundane stuff like cash flow or the comfort of their lifestyle, their relationship was everything. And it could be destroyed so easily by something as simple as a pair of lacy panties.
I glared at the semi-transparent fabric as if it was to blame. My throat tightened. It was so stupid. How could anyone do something so sneaky, especially someone like Professor Ito, who seemed so innocent and carefree? You'd never guess from his cheery smile and bright manner that he was actually the kind of guy who would cheat on a lover who obviously adored him.
The whole idea of it made me feel sick to my stomach. I didn't know Mr. Suzubishi that well because he was always traveling for work, but despite his harsh words back when he'd introduced me to Professor Sakaki months ago, I felt pretty confident in labeling him as a nice guy. He was always laughing and smiling when the three of us were together, trying hard to include me in conversation but letting me escape when I got too uncomfortable. If I seemed upset about anything, he tried to offer advice, and if I was tired, he let me sleep.
He was even more indulgent when it came to Professor Ito, cheerfully taking on all the housework and cooking while encouraging the professor to relax. Every time he returned from a business trip, he showered the professor with gifts, both purchased and handknit. And it wasn't uncommon for me to catch him watching Professor Ito with a fond expression on his face.
I knew that all relationships had their bumpy parts, but theirs seemed genuinely happy. It was completely different from how my adoptive parents had behaved, the happiness they shared while times were good quickly deteriorating into blame and screaming matches once the software business had started to fail. On the rare occasions that Mr. Suzubishi and the professor disagreed about something, the worst that happened is that one or the other would go sulk for a while before coming back to apologize. I couldn't remember my adoptive parents ever admitting to each other that they had overreacted or made a mistake.
Honestly, it was pretty surprising to me that an adult, and especially one in a position of power like that, could be so patient and humble. I knew he was under a lot of pressure, not just because of work, but I assumed there was family stuff he had to deal with too. He was the only child of the company head and next in line to inherit the entire group. It didn't take a lot of thinking to realize that there was a lot of public image stuff he'd have to deal with eventually. Maybe he was already being pushed to go on dates with the daughters of other rich businessmen, and even if his family had no idea that Professor Ito existed, he would have to deal with that eventually, right? It seemed extra cruel that someone like him, who was trying so hard to work at a relationship that was going to cause nothing but trouble in the future, would end up with a cheating lover.
And though he hadn't said anything directly about it yet, I knew that I was part of his grand plan to produce an acceptable heir without needing to marry and have a kid. It was way too early to think about serious things like that - after all, I barely knew Mr. Suzubishi at all, and my first impression hadn't been a positive one. But now it seemed like my reluctance to broach the subject didn't matter. The whole thing was going to fall apart before it even started, thanks to Professor Ito's stupid, shallow actions.
"Stupid panties," I mumbled, giving them the evil eye for a few seconds before picking them up again. Maybe I'd toss them back in the basket and pretend it had never happened. Maybe I'd stop visiting on the weekends, not wasting any time getting to know a couple that was going to fall apart eventually. I didn't want to watch it happen again, knowing that I should have spoken up.
Tears stung my eyes, blurring my vision. But I could still see well enough to realize that something was weird about the shape of the underwear in my hand. Baggy in the front, like they'd been poorly made, or gotten stretched out somehow.
Huh, that's weird.
Before my brain could stop me from doing something so monumentally stupid, I made a fist and put it inside the panties, pressing my hand into the front. Yeah, it really was misshapen...
"Good lord," I groaned, pulling my fist back out as if I'd been burned. "They're roomy in front..."
The panties had space for a guy's junk.
And now that my arm was out of the way, I could see the little custom tag that was attached to the back of the underwear. It was a simple blue silhouette of a teddy bear.
I sighed a deep and ragged sigh, and my shoulders relaxed as relief flooded my body. No one was cheating at all. It was just another weird sex toy or whatever.
Now that's pathetic, I'm relieved by Professor Ito's man panties. Manties? God, I need a break...
I shrugged and put the weird panties on top of the pile of normal underwear. Honestly, now that I wasn't freaking out, I had to admit that they were pretty well-made. I never would have guessed that they were handmade without noticing the, uh, special shape and the custom tag.
Well, good job with your sewing, Mr. Suzubishi. I guess...
I finished folding up the rest of the clothes and layered them neatly in the basket. Before finding the panties, I'd been considering putting everything away for the professor, but god knew what else I might find in the bedroom he shared with Mr. Suzubishi. One shock per weekend was more than enough.
It was only after I put the laundry basket back on top of the dryer that I figured out what was still nagging at me. Mr. Suzubishi has been away for weeks now. There's no way the professor could have held off on doing his laundry for that long; in fact, that was one of the chores he did a couple of weeks ago. He wouldn't have folded that stuff right in front of me if those weird panties were in there, so... what the hell?
My eye twitched as I remembered something else from just one week ago.
Kasahara-kun, I'm having trouble with the webcam on my laptop. I need it to talk to Kazuki while he's away. I know you're relaxing right now, but could you take a look at it for me?
I covered my face with my hands with a groan, mumbling into my palms, "My potential dads were having Skype sex all week. Kill me now."
~~~
"I'm home!"
My spine stiffened as Professor Ito's cheery but tired cry echoed throughout the apartment, and I rolled off the bed, hurrying from my room out into the hallway. As expected, the floor around him was covered in plastic bags, and he was a bit red in the face and out of breath.
"You didn't have to carry it all in one trip," I lightly scolded. "I could have helped."
"Ah, well," he paused to take another breath, "it didn't look like all that much when I got it out of the trunk. I didn't want to bother you... and I didn't want to make two trips." He made a face. "But carrying it all the way here..."
"And the elevator's undergoing maintenance today, isn't it? I forgot about that." I leaned over and picked up half of the bags. "Really, you should have called me."
"But you've been studying all morning..."
I shook my head. "I'm just reading a novel. It's not even for class, it's something I borrowed from Yuki."
"O, oh... haha..." Professor Ito looked embarrassed. "W, well, reading is important, so I'm glad I didn't disturb you. I'm just a little out of shape, I guess."
It's more than a little, I thought with a smile. "Mm, it looks like you bought a lot of stuff." The professor followed me as I hauled my half into the kitchen, and we both began unpacking the bags. There were the expected staples, tofu and rice, bottled tea and coffee beans, but I was surprised to find three packages of strawberries in with the vegetables. "That's... a lot of strawberries..."
"Oh, is it? That's the amount I always get." The professor didn't seem fazed at all and just continued emptying the bags onto the small counter. "Ah, here we go, your protein bars!"
I reflexively accepted the offered bag, eyes widening as the unexpected weight of it made my arm droop. "This is... way more than one box."
He smiled with a little nod. "Yeah, they were on sale, so I got two boxes of each flavor so you can try them all! And there was a special offer, a free sports drink for every two boxes of protein bars, so of course I couldn't pass that up. I hope you like lemon flavor, that's all they had left..."
"Wow..." I was at a loss for words, but finally managed, "Thank you, Professor Ito."
"Haha, it's nothing! I hope you enjoy them."
My face flushed, not because I was embarrassed by being treated so kindly - though that was a small part of it - but in shame. How could I have doubted him, someone so considerate and friendly, so pure that the thought of intentional malice had probably never crossed his mind? It would be like doubting Yuki. That made my cheeks darken even more, heart sinking further as I remembered how I'd been keeping my distance recently, ever since he tried to tell me about falling in love. Sure, we still talked every day, laughing and joking during homeroom, whispering to each other during class, eating together at lunch, and doing homework together after school if we had time, but it wasn't the same as before. It was mere friendship without the intimacy of what had truly felt like a family relationship. We had been brothers, and my stupid crush and weird jealousy had ruined it.
I sighed, lowering my eyes. You really suck, Tomo. How are you going to fix this mess?
"Kasahara-kun? Is something wrong?"
Ugh, he was just like Yuki, able to pick up on a shift in mood as naturally as everyone else could recognize a change in temperature. "Uh, not really, I was just thinking about school stuff..." At his look of concern, I quickly added, "Nothing bad, just trying to remember my practice schedule for the week, basic things like that."
"Oh, good idea." He brightened up a little. "Do you need a planner? I'm sure Kazuki has an unused one stashed around here somewhere."
"Ah, thank you, but I already have something that works for me."
"Oh, of course, that makes sense." He almost sounded disappointed as he went back to unpacking groceries. "Hmm, that's strange, where are the potatoes... oh, did I leave them in the car?" He dashed off before I could offer to go get them, but froze a moment later.
I blinked. "Er, Professor Ito, are you okay?"
"You, you folded the laundry..."
My face exploded into flame. "Y, yeah... Um, I thought, because I'm here causing some mess, it's only fair for me to help out a little..."
The professor turned back toward me, his face at least as red as mine. "O, oh, but... you don't have to do things like that." His words spilled out in a mad rush, worse than his usual speedy manner of talking, so fast that it was hard for me to keep up. "I, I don't mind cleaning up. Even if I'm not very good at it, and I don't really do it often. Um, I can always get a cleaning service to come in here right before Kazuki gets home. You don't have to feel responsible for any of my mess. If things get so messy that you're uncomfortable, please tell me, I'll take care of it right away. I'm sorry, I'm used to living by myself when Kazuki isn't around, so I kind of forget to keep things presentable."
He paused to take in another breath, and I seized upon the opportunity to cut in. "No, I respectfully disagree. This is my home too. I need to do my part."
Professor Ito stared at me, two emotions warring for dominance on his face: the embarrassment that was driving him to overexplain, and the surprise that kept any words from coming out. After a few moments, the surprise won out, that expression quickly morphing into a happy smile. "Oh... you really feel that way, Kasahara-kun? You can really call this home?"
His hopeful, not-quite-believing tone made it hard to reply, "Well... yeah, I guess... haha."
The professor's smile was brilliant. "I'm really happy you feel safe here, Kasahara-kun."
I shifted nervously from one foot to the other, embarrassed by his words and the way he was looking directly at my face. "Er... yeah. Oh! How about I go get the potatoes from your car?" I snagged the keys from the counter before he could protest. "I'll be right back!"
~~~
"And that's why I have a million boxes of protein bars. So you can have one if you want."
"Ahaha," Yuki laughed weakly, reaching out to accept the box of peanut butter bars I was offering. "That's... a really incredible story, Tomo."
"Tell me about it," I sighed, leaning back against the side of my bed. We were both sitting on the floor in my room, studying English at the low table. Normally, we'd go study in Yuki's room since it was always cleaner than mine, but he'd just received a huge care package from his parents, and the entire place smelled like a bakery. If I spent more than five seconds around all those treats, I'd end up stuffing myself silly, and with a track meet coming up, I couldn't afford that big of a slip.
"Still," Yuki immediately busted into the box and pulled out a bar, "I can't really imagine Professor Ito being into something like... that." His cheeks pinked as he struggled with the wrapper. "I mean, doing stuff over the computer or whatever is pretty normal when your lover is away, but lacy--"
"Don't even say it," I groaned. The last thing I wanted to hear today was the words lacy panties coming from my best friend's mouth. Especially in connection with one of our male teachers. "I'm gonna have flashbacks to touching that for the rest of my life."
Yuki took a huge bite of the protein bar, his anticipatory expression soon turning to one of... well, maybe disgust was too strong a word, but definitely distaste. It took him a few moments to chew and swallow, and he pouted at me. "Ugh, Tomo, you didn't tell me these were gross!"
"Yuki, it's a protein bar. What did you expect?"
"But they look like candy bars!" He glared at the bar in his hand as if it had betrayed him on some sort of intimate level. "It's even coated in chocolate!"
"No matter how you dress it up, it's still a protein bar," I said smugly.
Yuki's huffy expression was almost funny, and I smirked at him, daring him to respond. He looked like he was desperately trying to think of a comeback but was coming up blank, and I took a sip of my lemon energy drink.
"Ugh... well, no matter how many frills are on Professor Ito's panties, he's still a guy on the inside!"
I nearly choked. Somehow I managed to swallow the salty drink instead of spraying it all over the table and our homework. "Yuki," I coughed, glaring at him with watery eyes, "what the hell does that have to do with anything?"
He blushed. "Uh... I dunno... I just wanted to get back at you, I guess."
"Well, please don't do it by saying stuff about Professor Ito. He's really nice."
Yuki ducked his head. "Sorry, Tomo, I just got carried away... I don't think any less of him or anything. I mean... it's kind of weird, and I'm sorry you found something like that again, but..."
Geez, what was I doing, being mean to Yuki when I was the one who was always complaining dramatically about the quirky stuff I found at the apartment? My shoulders slumped. "Sorry, Yuki, it's my fault... I got carried away first, talking about this stuff in the first place."
"Oh..."
I glanced up, and Yuki turned his face away, but not before I caught a glimpse of his disappointed expression. "Yuki... wait, I'm not saying I won't tell you stuff anymore. I just... I think I went too far this time."
Don't get mad. My chest tightened. Don't leave.
He nodded, biting his lip, but didn't say anything for a while. "No, it's okay. I'm just kind of grumpy about something right now, and then this gross protein bar..." He stuffed the half-eaten bar back in the box and shoved it across the table. "I can't believe you didn't warn me first..."
My heart sank as I realized that he wasn't going to tell me what was bothering him. That probably meant it was related to dating. "I'm sorry, Yuki, I really thought you knew what to expect from a protein bar. I'll remember that you don't like them."
It only took him a moment to recover his cheer, and he shook his head, smiling. "It's okay, thanks for thinking of me. Anyway, I have plenty of other snacks right now!"
"No kidding, your room looks like the cooking club's pastry booth at the school festival..."
After that, we went back to studying for a while, but I couldn't shake the feeling that our relationship was going to continue falling apart unless I made a real effort to do something about it.
It's not too late to reverse it, right? I thought, stealing a glance at Yuki as he worked on translating a short passage, the tip of his tongue peeking out in concentration. A little jolt of electricity tingled in the pit of my stomach, and I lowered my eyes again. I need to get over this.
But I had no idea how.
~ end ~