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It’s not her scene. It never has been. But what else are you supposed to do when the girl you’ve been hopelessly crushing on for the last few months invites you to some stupid Halloween party that half the school is unfortunately also going to be at.
She’ll go for Tammy. Only for Tammy. She was so polite and sincere in her invitation Robin honestly believed she may have a chance. Stupid she knows but she’s 17 and dumb and tired of feeling like the only one in this town who has a desire for women.
She knows she can’t be the only one.
So she finds comfort in Tammy’s look, in her invitation and a nagging part of her is telling she’s definitely read all the signals wrong and this is just how people who aren’t socially awkward act with one another.
But she goes anyway, she’ll take whatever she can get from Tammy Thompson.
She dresses up as Tom Cruise from Taps. She’s pretty sure she’s the only person in Hawkins to even sit down and watch that movie but she already has a red beret sitting in her closet and every thrift store in this town has camo pants like they’re going out of style. Which Robin supposes they are.
She takes one look in the mirror before leaving and sighs. She looks boyish. More so than usual. It makes her wonder if that will help her chances with Tammy, if it would be better for both of them if one of them looked like a guy. Would it make people stare more or less? What if Tammy was really into girls and she liked her girls to look like, well girls?
She needed to stop overthinking or she knew she wouldn’t go at all. What a waste of an outfit.
She left the house with a quick ‘bye’ to her parents who either didn’t hear her or didn’t care, and she mounted her bike, her beret would have to act as her helmet for one night, and she peddled her way towards the other side of town until the bass of the music practically led her to the doorstep of some jocks house she didn’t know the name of.
Looking around for a place to dump her bike was a pointless exercise, the entire front yard was taken over by students and their keg stands as the grass was already hidden underneath red solo cups. With a sigh, Robin placed it next to the side of the house and just prayed it was still there in an hour.
The bass of the music was already setting her nerves alight, she wasn’t sure if it was the loudness of the stereo or the bright lights that made her wince as soon as she stepped foot in one of the most ornate houses in Hawkins.
A body had already bumped into her as a way of conveying how busy this party already was. Great. She must be late.
Pocketing her hands like the even the concept of accidentally grazing anything here would taint it forever, Robin made her way into the pool of people in search for the girl who had invited her.
She heard her before she saw her, Tammy always had a unique voice in Robin’s opinion. One that she caught others wincing at when she would talk a little high pitched when she got excited, but Robin always found it oddly endearing. Or maybe she was biased.
Probably the latter.
She thought she caught Tammy’s eyes over the throng of people, and just as she lifted her arm up in a greeting she was knocked off balance by some guy with a shaggy mullet in a leather jacket self declaring himself as the new keg king.
When she got her bearings once more, Tammy was gone.
Great.
She made her way through the bodies of people, ignoring the looks and the voice of someone muttering ‘chicks dressed as action man.’ Until she ended up in the kitchen, nervously eyeing up the choices of beverages.
Robin figured it was like picking between jet fuel and paint thinner and briefly considered how lame it would look if she just emptied out one of these cups and took it to the sink for some tap water.
Before she could even decide if she wanted to save her liver, a body was next to her, peering into the bowl of punch that Robin was almost certain its everyday use was actually a fish bowl.
“What’s in this?” The body asked.
When Robin turned her head to the side, the last person she expected to be speaking to her was Nancy Wheeler.
She was suddenly very glad she took so long on her decision to destroy her liver or not because she’s pretty sure even a single drop of alcohol would’ve made her into a bigger fool than she’s being now.
“Uhh—I’m not entirely sure. I was torn between straight up fuel or Hawkins labs toxic waste.” Robin said, idly tapping along to the music on her empty solo cup.
She watched Nancy’s shoulders move in a shrug, “Good enough.”
And before Robin could even say anything, Nancy was taking the solo cup from Robin’s grip and scooping up enough liquid that it was threatening to spill over the rim.
Nancy brought the cup to her lips, somehow managing not to spill a single drop as she took several gulps and left the cup empty and as light as it had been when Robin was holding it.
Robin’s mouth opened, closed and opened again ready to voice her concern but she was cut off by another body sidling up to them.
“Hey, hey, hey. Woah, Nance. Take it easy.” Steve’s voice cut through the sound of bassy music and plastic cups being thrown down onto wooden counter tops.
“We’re just being stupid teenagers for the night, wasn’t that the deal?” Nancy argued with a challenging look before dunking her cup back in for seconds.
Robin winced, trying not to think about all the cups that have had people’s lips all over being dunked back into bowl punch.
She watched Nancy bring the cup to her lips and drain more than half of it in a single gulp, witnessing a few dregs escape the cup and run down to stain her cheek before she wiping them away with her fingers, all while looking at Steve. Daring him to stop her.
She turned after getting no reaction from her boyfriend, bumping into Robin accidentally and turning back around to give her a quick once over.
“Tom Cruise in Taps, right?” Nancy said, taking in Robin’s costume.
And before Robin could even answer her, Nancy was already getting lost in the sea of people once more, hands in the air as Steve grunted and went off after her.
“Taps. Yeah.” Robin said to herself, or so she thought until a drunk guy next to her pointed over his shoulder.
“Tap is at the sink.” He said trying to be helpful.
Robin just sighed, picking up another solo cup and making her way over to the sink to get some water.
She was not drinking tonight. She had Nancy Wheeler to thank for helping her make that decision.
It wasn’t lost on her that Steve was also dressed as Tom Cruise tonight, even less surprising that he and Nancy were doing a whole Risky Business couples costume.
It made her think if women liked that? The Tom Cruise kind of guy. If Tammy Thompson would take one look at Robin dressed as Tom Cruise and find it attractive. Not care that she’s a girl at all.
That thought set her back on track. No more distractions from alcoholic beverages, from Nancy Wheeler’s or Steve Harrington’s, she was here for Tammy Thompson and she was apparently going to do it all sober.
Making her way through the crowd, a red solo cup full of water cold enough to make the hand holding it tingle a little, she finally sets eyes on Tammy once more.
This time their eyes do meet and Tammy is sending her a friendly wave before she gets scooped up in the arms of some guy on the basketball team and oh.
Oh because now they’re kissing and Tammy’s eyes aren’t on her because they’re closed and the same hand she used to wave at Robin is now tangled in dark hair and he looks nothing like Robin. Nothing at all.
She hears collective gasp from everyone and for a few seconds she thinks it’s because they’re watching this happen too, like they know how betrayed Robin is feeling right now, how they can’t quite believe it either.
She wants to yell, scream, cry and the worst thing is she knows Tammy doesn’t deserve any of those reactions from Robin. It's not her fault at all. It’s all on Robin for having hope. For thinking she isn’t alone in this town and there’s someone out there just like her. She was foolish to think that person was Tammy. Why would it be? When had Robin ever been that lucky in her entire 17 years existing.
She turns. Not being able to bear the sight any longer and she sees flashes of a red stained blouse, a guy in black reaching out to try and comfort the girl standing there dripping alcohol.
Robin wants to leave. Needs to leave but Tammy is right near the doorway and Robin doesn’t think she could even stand being in her orbit right now.
She feels trapped, nowhere to go and stuck in the middle of a sea of bodies who don’t seem to care about heartbreak and crushes and people like Robin.
The crowd parts to make way for a couple of people making their way upstairs and Robin sees that as an opportunity to escape from all the noise. From Tammy. She follows the path that’s been created, not even caring where it’s leading her and climbs the stairs one by one until she’s got her back against a wall covered in wallpaper that reminds her of her hippie grandmother.
She takes a few deep breaths, fiddles with the silver rings adorning her fingers, twisting them around exactly 3 times before moving to the next ring and so on. She repeated this motion until she realised she was hearing voices coming from the door right next to her.
“Bullshit…” A sudden loud but slurred voice.
A quieter one followed, clearly more controlled.
“No it’s not bullshit.”
“No you-”
Robin winced, realising who it was in there and how she’d managed to somehow find her way in the middle of both of their lovers spat in one night.
Selfishly she took some satisfaction in knowing she wasn’t the only one having a shitty night when it came to their love lives.
She stood there listening to them bicker, not because she wanted to, but because it was better than listening to the awful song that was playing downstairs that Tammy and her guy was definitely dancing to, when suddenly the door opened and Steve was storming out, muttering something under his breath.
She watched as he bounded down the stairs, one end of his sunglasses between his teeth like he was a teething baby, pushing away from his friends and suddenly he was out of sight.
The sound of fabric roughly scratching against fabric pulled her back to the door next to her, it had been left cracked open after Steve’s dramatic exit and Robin could see Nancy trying to wipe away a strain that was covering the entire front of her blouse.
Jesus, how drunk was she?
“You know, there’s probably a two hundred dollar bottle of vinegar in this kitchen of theirs that’ll knock that stain right out of there.” Robin joked, peaking her head around the door.
Nancy just looked up, still wiping, and made eye contact with Robin through the bathroom mirror.
“Great. Another Tom Cruise.” She whined, looking back down at her blouse before dropping her hands, completely giving up.
“And you’re Lana from Risky Business, right,” She said it more as a fact than a question. “Hope that blouse didn’t cost too much because yeah, wow, it’s completely ruined.” Robin said with a wince as she moved further into the bathroom.
Nancy scoffed, shoving the now stained towel into Robin’s chest. “You’re not funny.” She slurred, giving Robin her best scolding look she could possibly muster.
“I am incredibly funny,” Robin defended, tossing the towel into the sink, “you’re just in too much of a—” She gestured vaguely at Nancy’s reflection, mascara slightly smudged, blouse ruined, eyes a little glossy and unfocused, “—fragile emotional state. But this time, honestly, I wasn’t trying to be.” Robin said, holding her hands up in peace.
Nancy met her gaze in the mirror once more, jaw tightening a little. “I’m fine.”
“How drunk are you?” Robin asked, hands in her pockets as she broke Nancy’s stare to look around the bathroom. Eye contact was definitely not her strong suit. No matter how glassy the eyes.
“Enough to know it’s all bullshit.” Nancy garbled, reaching for the cup Steve had left on the bathroom counter before Robin’s eyes quickly fell onto the motion and reached out.
“Hey, woah, no, no. I’m cutting you off.” Robin said, taking the cup from Nancy’s loose grip and pouring the remains down the sink.
Nancy watched with a mournful gaze before her eyes fell back on Robin and hiccuped. “I don’t like Tom Cruise anymore.”
“Okay well, thank god I’m not Tom Cruise, right?” Robin said with a grin, settling down on the edge of the bath, looking up at Nancy.
“Who are you, exactly?”
“Robin.” Robin answered, scratching at her cheek, “from band.” She added when she got no reaction from Nancy.
She tried not to take it personally, she was drunk out of her mind after all.
“You,” hiccup, “You were in the school paper.” Nancy pointed out.
“The one and only.” Robin said, spreading her arms like she was a big deal.
Robin didn’t have the heart to correct her that she had been in the school newsletter many times. There was a whole spread about band and she had even been interviewed by none other than Nancy herself for it once.
She sat there just watching Nancy for a few moments, she was a mess, her hands would grip the counter every so often like it was a struggle to even stay standing and Robin knew she couldn’t just leave her like this.
She stood from her place on the edge of the bathtub and pushed the toilet lid down before moving in Nancy’s space, placing a soft touch on her arm as she guided her to sit down on the toilet lid.
“I’m gonna go get that dumb boyfriend of yours. Hopefully he’s cooled off now, he’ll take you home. Just—just stay there, I'll be back, okay?” Robin said, holding both hands in front of making sure the other girl would stay put.
Nancy doesn’t answer but Robin takes her silence as compliance, she reaches for the cup she emptied and drags it under the tap, filling it up with cold water before placing it in Nancy’s hand.
“Drink this.” She said and then she was turning and leaving, in search of Steve Harrington of all people.
The one good thing about Steve being ninety percent hair and ten perfect body is he’s easy to spot in big crowds. So when Robin makes her way back downstairs and doesn’t spot him after scanning the area twice, she knows she’s got a problem.
“Hey, you seen Steve?” She asks the drunk guy in the kitchen who unhelpfully showed her where the sink was earlier.
“Nope.”
At least Robin knows who’s officially the least helpful person at this party.
She moves out back towards the crowds of people and asks anyone who hasn’t currently got their tongue rammed down someone’s throat.
After a bunch of no’s and a maybe he’s upstairs with Nancy paired with an eyebrow wiggle that makes Robin’s stomach churn, she huffs and makes her way back upstairs to Nancy, already scared she’s left her alone long enough.
“Your boyfriend is an asshole.” Robin declared as she appeared back in the bathroom.
What she didn’t expect was Nancy to burst out laughing.
“You’re funny, Robin from band.” She slurred before draining the last of the water from the solo cup.
“I thought I wasn’t funny?” Robin challenged with a smirk.
After getting no reply, unsure if Nancy is too drunk to come up with a retort or if she just didn’t like being wrong, Robin sighed as she realised Nancy was now her responsibility.
Making her way to Nancy, she holds a hand out for the other girl to take, ignoring the way her skin tingles when Nancy’s surprisingly calloused hand makes contact with her own she helps her to stand.
“You drive here?” Robin asks, really hoping the answer is yes because there’s no way she’s getting Nancy home like this on her bike.
Nancy nods and pulls out her keys and hangs them off one finger.
Robin, well, Robin doesn’t have a license but she’s also at a house party that’s blaring music at eleven pm and full of underaged drinking so what’s one more crime?
She takes the keys from Nancy and pockets them before throwing one of Nancy’s arms around her shoulders and leads them out of the bathroom and down the stairs slowly.
Thankfully everyone is too distracted by making out or beer pong to notice the two girls stumbling their way through the crowd, Robin having to tighten her grip around Nancy’s waist, making sure she doesn’t get her attention diverted by some dumb drinking game.
They’re almost all the way out of the house and to Nancy’s car when a body moves in front of them blocking their path.
“You’re leaving already?” Tammy Thompson’s shrill voice cuts through the air.
Robin wants to scream at her. What reason did she have to stay?
“Gotta take my friend home.” She says, nodding at Nancy next to her.
“Oh, okay. Well I hope you had fun.” Tammy beams.
“Sure.” Robin is certain she’s had the worst experience out of everyone at this party and really won’t be in a rush to go to another soon.
Tammy goes to speak once more, but Robin is already moving her and Nancy along to the car Nancy’s stumbling steps are guiding them towards until she slumps against the drivers side door.
“Yeah, I don’t think so, Wheeler.” She puts her hands on her shoulders and walks her around to the other side of the car, pulling open the door and helping her climb into the passenger seat, narrowly avoiding an arm to the chin.
She looks towards the side of the house where her bike is thankfully still standing, and grunts when she realises it’s not fitting in Nancy’s car.
She’d have to come back somehow.
Clambering into the driver's seat, Robin puts the key in the ignition and looks over at Nancy, whose eyes are unfocused and glossy, before she warns her.
“So, I don’t technically have a license but something tells me my sober and inexperienced driving is better than your drunk and experienced driving but I would still advise you to put your seatbelt on.”
She heard Nancy grunt in irritation, before wrestling with her seatbelt and needing five attempts before it finally surrendered with a loud click into place.
“Great. Good. We love safety.” Robin said, clicking her own into place and pulling away from the curb, the radio playing some terrible pop song between them.
“Maple street, right?” Robin asked.
The only confirmation she got was a hum from Nancy, whose eyes were already sliding shut.
Robin drummed her fingers against the steering wheel, suddenly feeling jittery now the adrenaline of the last hour had left her body.
She supposed she should be selfishly thankful for this distraction, it’s probably saved her from wallowing away in self pity and a night of crying and screaming into her pillow over beautiful girls kissing guys who look nothing like Robin.
Another terrible pop song sputtered from the radio and just as Robin reached over to change it to anything but that, her hand got slapped away by Nancy.
“It’s rude to change station in someone else’s car.”
“I’m rude? You just slapped me!” Robin exclaimed, dramatically shaking out her hand.
The only answer she got was a mumble of something unintelligible as Nancy settled into the car door and closed her eyes once more.
Robin doesn’t know how much time had passed when she finally pulled up to the Wheeler residence, she just knows it took three more bad songs and several quiet snores from Nancy before she’s parking badly in her driveway and reaching over to unbuckle the girl's belt.
She takes the key from the ignition before walking around to Nancy’s side and pulling her from the car as carefully as someone with no coordination can.
Robin contemplates whether or not she should just knock and get Mrs Wheeler to handle the rest but she knows if she were in Nancy’s shoes the last thing she’d want is her family seeing her like this.
Fingering the keys in her hand, she pulls the one that most looks like a house key and slides it into the lock before carefully propping Nancy up against the wall next to the stairs and locking the door as quietly as possible.
Getting Nancy up the stairs is much harder than it had been getting her down. Robin is certain she’s still somehow asleep by the feeling of all her body weight now leaning against Robin and she knows she needs to wake the girl before they both fall.
“Hey, Nance,” Robin said, gently tapping her cheek, “you’re gonna have to do a little of the work here, I’m built more for sarcasm than load bearing.”
Nothing.
“Nance, come on. Before your parents wake up and think I’m kidnapping you.” Another tap to her face.
“You couldn’t take me.” Comes a mumbled reply and Robin immediately feels a little bit of Nancy’s body weight shift.
Thank god.
“Wouldn’t even try. You’re terrifying.” Robin said in a quiet chuckle. “Can you do the stairs?”
Nancy was still completely out of it but nodded and leaned only a portion of her body weight on Robin this time as they both made their way up the stairs towards the bedroom door that was cracked open.
Upon entering Nancy Wheeler’s bedroom for the first time, Robin ignored how painfully pink everything was and guided her down onto the bed in a sitting position, watching her immediately flop back into the pillows, letting out a sigh of relief.
Robin looked down at her for a few seconds, catching her glassy eyes before pulling her gaze away and catching a poster of Tom Cruise.
“Seriously?” She moaned.
She didn’t hear Nancy’s answer, wasn’t even sure if she gave one, she just made her way to the foot of the bed and pulled off Nancy’s boots one by one, being as delicate as possible, like one wrong pull would shatter the girl's ankles.
Placing them on the floor, she made her way back to Nancy’s side to check up on her, eyes closed, breathing even. Asleep. Or so Robin thought.
Just as she pulled away in search of a place on the floor to sleep, Nancy’s hand wrapped around her bony wrist, holding her in place.
Blue met blue. One steady gaze, the other glassy.
Then Nancy was leaning up ever so slightly, accidentally knocking the red beret from Robin’s head and pressing her lips to Robin’s cheek.
The kiss was gone almost before Robin could even register it, but the tingling it left behind clung stubbornly on her skin. Oh. Okay, then.
“Thanks, Robin from band.” Nancy mumbled before falling back against the softness of her sheets and letting sleep take her.
Robin just grunted and turned to look back at the poster on the wall.
“Why do you get all the girls?” Much to Robin’s surprise, he didn’t answer.
Pulling a spare pillow from the other side of Nancy’s bed, she found space on the floor that was most certainly going to leave her back aching in the morning but she was stuck here with no way home so it would just have to do.
If Nancy wanted to yell at her in the morning for crossing all kinds of boundaries then so be it, but Robin had had a shitty night as it is she was not risking a forty five minute walk home at midnight, thank you.
Smacking the pillow a few times, trying to get as comfortable as she possibly could, she eventually drifted off to sleep without even thinking about Tammy Thompson for the first time in months.
She had Nancy Wheeler to thank for that.
Morning came way sooner than Robin would have liked. Suddenly the floor was the most comfortable place in the world when the warm morning sun was pouring onto her from the open curtains.
She groaned at the light, reaching up to pull her beret over her eyes in hopes of shielding them from the assault, when her hands just ended up tangled in her hair.
“Looking for this?” Nancy spoke from the bed beside her, voice raspy but thankfully clearer than it had been the night before.
Robin jolted upright, nearly cracking her elbow on the nightstand as she twisted toward the sound. Nancy was stretched out on her bed, propped on one elbow, with Robin’s beret hanging just out of reach.
“Thanks.” Robin said, taking it from Nancy’s grip. She settled it back over her head feeling nervous under Nancy’s sharp gaze.
“I’m Robin.” She added, immediately hating herself for it, like she hadn’t spent the better half of her night keeping Nancy hydrated and standing on her own two feet.
“From band. I know.” Nancy said, a small knowing smile tugging at her mouth. Then, more curious than accusatory, “What are you doing on my floor?”
Robin hesitated, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly.
“Funny story. Can you drive me to my bike?”