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It’s always a treat when Red gets to watch Blue battle.
Singles are the most common form of battle, and therefore the form that your average trainer would be most comfortable with. Because of this, it’s the format that most people challenging the Battle Tree choose to use, and thus Red will battle them once they’ve gotten far enough. Many of them don’t make it past him, but they seem grateful enough for the opportunity and insist they’ll be back for a rematch as they run off to heal their Pokémon.
Double battles, on the other hand, are a completely different breed. They require new strategies and things to consider that are completely absent from singles. They’re also far less common overall, so in general Blue has a few less kids to beat on any given day. Of course, Blue still gets to do plenty of battles, especially since many more people than they originally anticipated choose to do multi battles for the opportunity to face them both. He doesn’t seem to have any problems with having a bit less work, however, and frequently sneaks out of the area to go wander around Poni Island, often bringing Red along if he’s free.
However Red finds he loves watching him battle.
At first when he’s watching on the sidelines as Blue squares off with a promising young trainer, Red tries to do what Blue usually does when it’s the other way around, which is to take mental notes on the kid’s performance and what they could improve upon. Blue’s a natural mentor, but Red doesn’t think like that; most of what he does in the midst of battle is based on instinct and his synchronization with his Pokémon, not on specific strategies he’s memorized and practiced for years. When he’s battling with someone himself, he’s mostly just able to get a sense of a trainer’s drive and passion (which is always good to see, but it’s not exactly the material for the specific critique on certain moments in battle that Blue gives), but even that’s a bit more difficult if he’s not actively participating in the battle.
Plus, outside of the Battle Tree the main person Blue battles is Red himself, and when that’s happening he’s too focused on what their Pokémon are doing to properly watch Blue. So it’s natural, because it’s such a unique opportunity, and because he’s not good at overviewing the battle from the sidelines anyway, that when he has the chance he finds his eyes drawn to his rival without fail.
He absolutely lights up in battle. Like any good trainer should, Red supposes. He commands his Pokémon with full confidence in their abilities, with full confidence in himself, throwing his Pokeballs like a forceful gust of wind unbothered by anything in his path. When his Pokémon land a hit, he smirks, and even from far away Red swears he can see his eyes sparkle in the sun, and when his own go down, he grits his teeth before his face splits into a wild grin as he throws out another, excited by the change in the current.
And he just…
Red doesn’t know. Something about him is so captivating. Maybe that's how people feel when they watch Red. That’s probably how Blue feels.
But Red doubts Blue admires the way the dappled sunlight catches his hair, or how smoothly his body moves with each action, or how he wipes the sweat from his brow, or when a move sends a huge gust of wind toward him and his normally loose shirt clings tightly to his torso, or how there really is a genuine smile hidden beneath his smirk, because he earnestly loves what he does.
For a brief, fleeting moment, the rest of the world disappears and it's only Blue, burning brightly under the Alolan sun, and Red, who is in this moment not a legend himself but simply a witness to him and his glory.
He’s felt similar while watching him battle before in years past, this immense sense of admiration, but in Alola it suddenly feels different and so much more overwhelming. He doesn’t question it at first but it begins to weigh on him and gather until his revelations are so big he doesn’t know how to handle them. He starts to recognize that the bubble never seems to pop completely, even after the match is set and Blue comes over to ask Red what he thought of the battle as if he was paying attention to anything other than him. The inability to take his eyes off of Blue and the new things he’s noticed about his mannerisms start following Red wherever the two of them go.
There’s something fundamentally different about the way he regards Blue now and Red isn’t quite sure what to think of it, especially when new desires begin to arise in him. When they’re together but Blue isn’t looking his way, Red's hands twitch at his sides, struggling to process the want to touch, to feel, to be closer than this. He wants it so suddenly, so intensely, and the combination both entices and scares him.
But when Blue has his arm around Red’s shoulders as he waits to hear what Red thought of the battle, Red can’t do anything other than give him a thumbs up and a smile, and Blue smiles back in a way that makes his chest ache.
—
Blue looks extra nice today, which is in some ways a blessing but in many more a curse. He tends to do himself up a little more whenever they go out, mainly just because he can since on days like this there’s no need to be prepared for battle at every waking minute.
It’s a blessing because Red gets to look at him, his hair carefully styled in defined spikes unfettered by the breeze, his first two buttons undone with a short necklace between the collar, a small smile permanently etched into his features, a little extra light in his eyes. He holds himself casually, arm up on the back of his chair, like he doesn’t have a care in the world. He probably doesn’t, not right now, at least, sitting in an Alolan café on a beautiful sunny morning with his best friend. If only Red could be so lucky.
The main reason why Blue doing himself up nicely is also a curse is that when Red starts looking at him, he can’t stop. He’s infinitely more distracting like this, so much so that Red has half a mind to wonder if he’s doing it on purpose, but even Blue’s not that cruel.
“Excuse me, Mr. Oak?”
Blue looks up from his coffee cup, and Red looks up from Blue. The speaker is a young woman with pink hair tied into a short ponytail. Red recognizes her from when they walked into this café; she had been sitting a few tables away from them.
“No need for ‘Mr. Oak,’ just Blue is fine,” Blue assures her. He turns in his seat to open himself up to her, leaning one arm on the table. Red does not follow him and instead cautiously eyes the girl.
“Sorry,” she mutters meekly, her cheeks tinted the color of her hair. “Um, well, I know you probably get this a lot, running the Battle Tree here and everything, but could I get your autograph?”
Blue visibly perks up at that, even though he’s probably signed a million autographs since they arrived here. “Ah, sure thing! You got a pen?”
The girl nods and clumsily fishes in the pocket of her jean shorts and pulls out a light pink memo pad printed with pecha berries and a pen with an eevee molded onto the top.
“Cute,” remarks Blue as she hands it to him, which only causes her face to darken further. Red’s chest tightens uncomfortably and he feels it begin to pull his face into a grimace, which he promptly attempts to force down with a sip of his coffee. Why’d he get a coffee? He doesn’t even really like coffee.
(Because Blue likes coffee, and Red likes Blue, and Red didn’t know what he wanted so he defaulted to match Blue’s order, that’s why.)
Blue signs the memo pad with a sharp few strokes of the pen, a chorus now familiar to Red. He doesn’t even need to see it to perfectly picture his signature, carefully refined after years of being a prominent figure. Red expects to be asked to sign next, as was the most common next step to this, but after Blue hands the memo pad and pen back to the girl she simply thanks him and hurriedly walks back to her table. Red watches her go.
Blue sighs, presumably contentedly, settles back into his seat and returns his focus to Red. “Y’know, I don’t even think she knew you were there. Now there’s a girl with taste.”
Red doesn’t respond and Blue takes it as sass, chuckling lightly.
Staring into the abyss of his coffee mug, Red’s stomach twists again. Why did that make him feel so awful?
Maybe there was no point in asking himself, since he knew the answer. Red didn’t care if someone was a bigger fan of Blue than him, and he quite appreciated that she had just politely asked for an autograph and then didn’t bother them further. The interaction squeezing his insides in the way it did was a reality check, his body telling him: hey, stupid, don’t get in over your head.
None of Blue’s showing off is ever meant for Red. It’s meant for his fans, for strangers who look twice at him on the street. His reputation has always been that of a trainer who’s snarky yet charming. Red can want and want and want but he’ll always just be an outside observer, someone watching from the sidelines.
Red takes another reluctant sip of his coffee. It’s lukewarm now and the bitterness stains the back of his throat.
—
Red tries to imagine the type of girl Blue would like. It’s not something he’s ever thought about before, but after the interaction in the café, the idea of a girl like that begins to follow him everywhere. Blue would want someone who’s a lot like himself, he guesses, someone who can match his energy and keep up with him. She would love Pokémon, of course, maybe she was a trainer herself. And she had to be pretty. Bright eyes and long eyelashes, like him, a sweet smile, silky long hair and a great fashion sense.
The idea of her haunts Red for a few days before he drops the question one day as they make their way through the Alolan forest.
“How many girlfriends have you had?”
Blue stops in his tracks, and Red guesses he can’t blame him. It’s a bit of a personal question to spring on him so suddenly, but he has to know exactly how many versions of this girl there actually are.
“Huh? Why do ya wanna know that?” Blue looks at him in disbelief. “Are you selling stuff about me to gossip magazines or something?”
Red shakes his head. “Curious,” he says, pulling his hat down.
Blue sighs and his hands fall into his pockets. They’ve both completely stopped walking now, standing in the middle of the trail. The foliage brings out the green in Blue’s eyes. “I mean, I guess I don’t care whether you know or not,” he muses. “I just didn’t expect you to be interested in that kinda thing. Well, if you must know, it’s been three girlfriends,” he holds up three fingers on one hand, and two on the other, “and two boyfriends.”
Red only minorly short-circuits, and in the instant he’s caught off guard he loses control of his expression and his eyes go wide.
Blue huffs out an amused half-chuckle. “Why do you look so surprised? Was that more or less than you were expecting?”
‘Boyfriends?’ Red mouths. He hadn’t even considered that as a possibility. He’s not sure if that makes his feelings for Blue better or worse.
Blue’s eyebrows wrinkle and Red immediately wants to backtrack. “...Yeah? You, uh, you didn’t know?”
Slightly confused, Red shakes his head.
“Really…” Blue shifts his weight onto one leg, “I thought you…huh. Well, you know now. It’s not a big deal.” He shrugs casually and offers Red a small smile.
Red tries to return it, but he’s a bit preoccupied so it probably doesn’t turn out very well. Huh. So there’s a boy, too. What’s he like? Would Blue still want someone like himself? Is this guy a good talker, well-coordinated and organized, punctual and clever? Is he lean and confident with a smile that can light up a room? Or maybe he’s the opposite, quiet and spontaneous and a little awkward, dark haired, dark eyed…
No, that’s…that can’t be right. Ugh, stupid.
“What about you, Red?” asks Blue, and Red is actually grateful that he’s snapped out of his thoughts because they were wandering too far. “Ever had any secret lovers I don’t know about?”
Red shakes his head again, trying to drive the girl and the boy from his mind. “I don’t know how I’d get one.”
Blue snorts. “What? C’mon, dude. You totally could if you wanted to. You’ve got a ton of admirers already, you just don’t pay attention to them.”
“I wouldn’t want to be with someone who only likes me because I’m famous,” Red says. He kind of wants this conversation to end now, even though he’s technically the one who brought the topic of dating up.
Blue is evidently not sharing Red’s wishes, shifting his weight to the other side now. “Yeah, I get that, you want a real connection,” he says. “I mean, most of the people I’ve dated knew who I was, but none of them were, like, super-fans. I feel like that’d just get weird.” He wrinkles his nose at the thought. “Maybe when I start dating again I’ll look for someone who’s never heard of me at all, just for a change. That might end up a little better. Or maybe I’ll go for someone who I was already close with. I dunno.” His gaze flicks back to Red, something oddly serious hidden somewhere inside it.
Red doesn’t know what it is or what to do with it, so he just shifts uncomfortably in place and vaguely gestures to the trail in front of them.
Whatever it was in his eyes when he looked at Red disappears completely. “I guess we should keep walking, huh? Well, if you ever want any dating advice, I’d be happy to help.” Blue’s gaze carefully lingers on him for a moment longer, before he turns on his heel and starts down the trail again. Red waits for him to get a few steps away before following.
Red wishes he could ask him for advice, since Arceus knows he could use it, but there was no way he’d be able to do it without somehow revealing who he had feelings for. Blue’s really perceptive, so the fact that it seems like he hasn’t figured it out on his own yet is a bit of a miracle already.
But despite it all, he still wants so badly to tell him. They’d spent far too many years hiding from each other and bottling up their emotions, and Red knows that these feelings will eat him up inside if he doesn’t learn how to manage them or do something about them. But that’s just it—this is a different beast entirely.
Besides, even if Red could find courage in himself and a proper way to articulate his feelings, he had no idea how Blue would react. He’d reject him, for sure, but would their relationship be tainted at all afterwards? And if so, for how long?
It’s all way too risky, so he guesses he won’t say anything. This is still so unfamiliar for him.
Something twists in his chest at the thought. It’s the same feeling as when Blue complimented the girls stationary, he recognizes, that aching, longing one.
Red follows Blue down the trail. It’s fine. He’ll deal with it.
—
Red’s feelings still haven’t gone away, nor have they lessened in the slightest. In fact, they’ve gotten more intense if anything. Every minute Red spends in Blue’s presence simply adds fuel to the ever burning fire inside him that scorches his cheeks whenever they’re too close to each other, which is often. It tears up his insides, each reminder of his feelings carrying a painful aftertaste of how futile they are and the unreachableness of his wants. It’s beginning to grow suffocating.
The thing is, no matter the ache in his heart whenever he talks to Blue, looks at him or is even just near him, Red can’t find it in himself to stop. Part of it is common sense, of course, he wasn’t about to let his feelings, however permanent and painful they turn out to be, ruin the friendship they’d spent years building and repairing. His instincts tell him to run away from it all, to just try to avoid Blue until this blows over, but he’s determined to see this through, and the last thing he wants is to hurt Blue or make him feel ignored.
There’s another reason, too, though, a far more selfish one, and that’s frankly that the stabbing reminder that Blue will never be his isn’t enough to fully overtake the rush he feels whenever they’re close. Instead, they mix together to form an addicting, overwhelming concoction of confusing feelings and desires that results in Red being unable to pay attention to the movie they’re watching tonight in Blue’s room, instead just staring at his rival.
Blue seems similarly uninterested in the movie, though probably just because it’s not very good, and so he looks quite bored as he stares mindlessly at the TV. They were once sitting upright and leaning against the headboard but now they’re both basically laying down. Even in the dark Red can make out the distinct profile of Blue’s face, the rhythmic rise of his chest. He usually holds himself to a high standard, even if that standard is appearing casual and unbothered, but tonight he is truly tired and lazy and unbound.
He’s so easy to love. Too easy. How many others have seen him like this and thought the same thing? Red can’t bear to think about it for too long, because it causes poison to rise in the back of his throat, followed by guilt for even feeling that way in the first place, because who is Red to dictate anything at all about Blue, and—
“Hey, Red?”
He blinks his wandering thoughts away and is first met with the sight of his hand, which started inching closer to Blue amidst his thoughts. Red hurriedly draws it back to himself. Luckily, it seems Blue hadn’t noticed, as he isn’t even properly looking at Red. “Can we talk for a sec?” He asks tentatively.
“Sure,” Red says automatically, maybe too quickly.
Blue exhales and turns onto his side. His eyes almost seem to glow slightly in the low light from the TV and Red’s breath hitches in his throat, leaving his whole mouth dry.
“…I feel like you’ve been acting weird lately,” Blue says, his voice careful. “Like, weirder than usual. I’ve told you before that I want you to tell me if something’s bothering you.”
Red’s body goes a little colder.
“…Red?” Blue’s foot kicks Red’s shin after a few moments in order to get his attention, and get his attention it does, the minuscule bit of contact sending a shiver up his spine.
The slight quiver of his bottom lip catches Blue’s eye and the atmosphere shifts, slight but undeniable. Blue studies Red for a moment, his eyes focused in thought. Red is unable to break his gaze despite how hot he feels under it, the moment raw, the air heavy.
Blue’s hand gently brushes Red’s temple, the touch so subtle that he barely registers it at first. Red freezes and bites back another shiver, and Blue’s hand stays there above his rapid pulse, holding him in place.
“What’s wrong?” Blue asks.
Things are quiet for a few moments then, the agonizing, crushing quiet of things not yet said.
When Red manages to speak his voice comes out barely over a whisper. It sounds distant, like it’s not really him talking, but he finds the words slip from his lips easier than he would have expected. “I want to tell you…but…”
Blue shifts closer in anticipation, but the words keep flowing, powered by Red’s thundering heartbeat. Now he feels a need to be careful to make sure he doesn’t accidentally say too much. “...I don’t think you’d like it,” he settles on eventually.
The look Blue gives Red is so soft, so careful, so unlike the self he shows to the world but so familiar to Red. This is the self in his genuine smile beneath his smirk, the self in the kid who never stopped hoping Red would come back one day. It might be the one from his gaze that day in the forest as well, Red realizes.
Does he know he’s pushing Red into dangerous territory? Red is just one careful glance, one brush of fingers away from saying something he’ll regret tomorrow, if he hasn’t done so already.
Red’s jaw clenches. “I will tell you. Just…not now.”
Something unintelligible shifts in Blue’s expression and the other him doesn’t vanish completely, but a thick cloud of fog forms over it. He looks at Red strangely and pulls his hand away, but tentatively, as if he doesn’t really want to. “Okay,” he says simply, his voice sounding oddly hollow.
The atmosphere’s changed again but not into something any more discernible. They finish the movie in silence, Red staring holes into the ceiling. When it ends, he gets up and quietly goes back to his own room, only to continue to lie in bed and stare into the ceiling there. He brings his fingertips up to where Blue touched him and tries to imagine he’s still there with him, tries to imagine the subtle heat wafting off of him or his quiet breathing, how he probably still rolls around in his sleep and if they shared a bed they’d probably wake up tangled together in a mess of blankets.
It takes him a long time to get to sleep that night.
—
Red finds himself slightly dreading seeing Blue again the next morning, even though nothing really even happened. But maybe that was the issue. A stupid part of Red really had wanted to try to tell Blue everything last night. And, if Blue had kept watching him and waiting patiently, but there really did turn out to be no way to put his feelings into words, which there probably wasn’t, Red wanted to try anyway, find another way and kiss him right then and there in the light of a bad movie. And it seemed at one point that Blue knew that, but it was for such a brief moment that he could have easily hallucinated it.
Regardless, the two of them have work today, so after Red tries and fails to assure a concerned Pikachu that he’s fine, he inevitably has to abandon the comfort of his room and open the door to face his rival.
Blue is done up to his usual self when Red opens the door, a sight he’s seen so many times but never seems to get sick of. Strangely, today it throws him off slightly.
“Morning!” Blue says with a smile, doing his signature two-fingered salute.
Red’s only able to give him a nod of acknowledgement, startled by Blue’s chipperness and just how…normal he’s acting. Perhaps any other idea was just projection based on the false assumption that Blue had been affected by their conversation last night as much as Red was. Right. He really didn’t know what he expected.
They make their way down to the Battle Tree, Red trying his best to listen as Blue talks about nothing in particular to fill the empty space between them. But by the time the column of the tree comes into view and the shadow of its canopy stretches over their heads, he’s largely gone quiet. Despite his semblance of normalcy earlier, they can both feel the awkward way things ended last night starting to seep through.
It’s probably going to follow them around all day if they don’t address it, Red realizes, and Blue comes to the same conclusion. Before they get too close to the Battle Tree’s monstrous roots, Blue takes in a quick breath beside him and nudges his shoulder. “Hey, Red, real quick, uh, sorry if I seemed pushy or anything last night,” he says. Red turns to him but he’s not making eye contact. “I think I just made the wrong assumption. You don’t actually have to tell me—”
“I want to.” Red’s tone is firm and decided despite the lump in his throat. “I’m going to.”
Blue looks at him for a second, blinks, then nods. Suddenly he’s wearing the same strange expression he had last night. It bothers Red, because usually he’s at least decent at telling what Blue’s thinking, but with that look, he has no idea.
It doesn’t matter. Red’s made up his mind and he’s going to stick to it. He’s starting to think that whatever could come out of his confession couldn’t be worse than going on like this with his emotions constantly eating him up inside, with the silence stretching between them so tight it's bound to snap at any moment.
So he will tell him. Eventually.
—
There are a lot of trainers here today. but quantity very rarely equals quality, and so by the time the sun starts to set, Red’s only had to fight one trainer. He spends most of his free time sitting or wandering around with his Pokémon, exploring the area. Usually he and Blue would stick together and talk or have their own battles, but things still feel odd between them so they mostly keep to themselves.
At some point in the afternoon, Blue’s words from earlier this morning return to the forefront of Red’s mind. He said he’d made a false assumption about what was wrong with Red. Red hadn’t paid it much mind in the moment, too preoccupied with his own thoughts, but now…
Maybe Red wasn’t hallucinating after all? Maybe Blue did know what Red wanted to say, and he really was waiting for it. Maybe he had been unconsciously hoping he’d been right.
Red shouldn’t be getting his hopes up, but now he felt he had to at least ask about it, if only for the spark of excitement at the idea. Before long Red finds himself fixated on this alluring assumption Blue made regarding his feelings, and that’s enough to power him through the rest of the day.
When afternoon begins to turn to evening it’s time for them to head out and the two of them reconvene on the Poni Gauntlet. Everything feels quiet and lazy, the sea gently laps at the land and there isn’t a trainer in sight. A flock of Wingull are slowly making their way along the sky somewhere in the distance. If only Red felt nearly as serene.
“Not exactly the most exciting day, huh?” Blue says, tone light but thinly so, the awkward atmosphere from this morning yet to fully dissipate. “I watched a few matches, but…eugh. It wasn’t as fun when I didn’t get to do any myself.”
Red would have liked to watch Blue battle today, even if that would have made things worse. “Mmh.”
“Whatever, it’s over at least.”
Blue sets off without a second thought and Red feels his cheeks darken in anticipation. He might never be able to tell Blue how he feels, so he has to do this, at least, even if there was only a shred of a chance of him being right. He had to ask now, or he wouldn’t be able tomorrow.
“What was your assumption?”
“What?” Blue’s pace slows slightly and Red matches it.
“Last night,” Red clarifies. His heart is pounding. “You said you made the wrong assumption. What was it?”
Blue blinks and Red swears he sees some color rise to his face as well. “Ah. That.”
He fully stops now and turns to Red, who takes a moment to admire him against the backdrop of the sea and the sunset, fiery shades stretching across the horizon. Blue opens his mouth, then closes it, then bites his lip, then opens his mouth again, then closes it again, an almost hypnotic dance that Red follows each move of.
“Well, I guess I can tell you,” Blue says eventually. He smiles, dry, forced, and Red wishes he didn’t feel like he had to, but his need for an answer overpowers all else, so he just waits patiently.
“Arceus, this is gonna sound dumb… Well, I’ve noticed, once or twice, that sometimes when I’m interacting with fans or something, you’re giving them the stink eye.”
Ah. So he had noticed. Red pulls the brim of his hat down slightly, enough to quell his brief bout of embarrassment but not enough so he can’t see Blue anymore. Blue catches his gaze and the possibility of comfortable banter and teasing in the face of an awkward situation seems to spark some false confidence in him.
”C’mon, Red, you thought I wouldn’t notice?” Blue laughs breathily but it shatters as soon as it leaves his mouth, and, upon realizing, he looks off into the distance again, any semblance of confidence disappearing as quick as it came.
“...The first few times it happened I didn’t think that much of it, cause obviously, I know that kind of stuff’s not really your thing, but when you asked me about how many partners I had, I thought I saw that look in your eye again, and, I dunno, I think I started deluding myself into thinking…” He crosses his arms, blush climbing down to his neck now, something Red never ever thought he would see on him. Unfortunately, how intense Red’s gaze must be does not help Blue in the slightest and his voice is a bit shaky when he speaks next. “...Like maybe you…you know.” He gestures vaguely, but Red gets the message.
Loud and clear.
He takes a step closer to Blue, hoping that will be enough to let him know that he’s right, but Blue’s too caught up in himself now, words spilling out helplessly as he looks for a way to backtrack, oblivious to how needless it is. “Fuck, that sounded way worse when I say it out loud,” he says, growing stress so obvious in his unfocused eyes that it almost physically pains Red to see. Red’s fingertips twitch at his sides. “I guess I just thought I knew you well enough that my first hunch about what was going on would be the right one…!” He smiles again, but the cracks are even easier to see now. “I guess that uh, just goes to show how big my ego is, huh? Uh—Hey, Red, don’t worry about it, okay? Actually, forget I said anything at all, it didn’t come out right, I mean—”
Red’s hands land on his shoulders, warmly and solidly, and he’s cut off mid sentence.
Red doesn’t want him to feel like he’s done something wrong, like he’s said too much, because of how strongly the opposite is true. Red could listen to it all and more, a thousand times over. At the same time, on top of his concern, Red’s entire body is alight with excitement because it seems like maybe, just maybe, something he never expected to happen could be mere moments away. It’s a miracle he can still see straight.
“Blue,” Red says, and finally at the sound of his name Blue’s eyes refocus and lock with Red’s, still flustered at first, but he sees something in Red’s gaze that makes him go completely still. Red’s grip tightens on his shoulders and he still doesn’t move, even as Red struggles for words, “What would you do…if…if you were right…?”
They do not feel like two accomplished trainers whose names are known halfway around the world and back. They feel like two lifelong friends from the middle of nowhere whose friendship has been tested with worse, far worse than this, but in spite of that, or maybe somehow because of it, this still feels so incredibly scary. Blue’s reply is slow to come and careful when it does, but all the while brimming with the same excitement just below the surface. “If I was…you mean, if you…”
Red nods.
“Huh.” Blue’s mouth twitches up in a small smile, one Red doesn’t get to see on him often, subtle and shy yet completely and undeniably real. “I’d like that, I think. Yeah, I would…that would be nice.”
What happens next is something Red’s thought about time and time again, early in the morning or late at night or whenever there was empty space in his head it could fill, really. But no number of imagined scenarios and bittersweet thoughts could have ever prepared him for the real thing. Their faces inch closer slowly at first, silently and slightly awkwardly coming to the agreement to do this, both still a bit hesitant and unsure if it’s really happening, but once they’re close enough that their noses are almost touching and Red can feel Blue’s every shallow breath against his neck, he can’t take it anymore. The fire inside him swells and rises high and Red finally leans forward to kiss him.
The initial sensation on its own is so unbelievably overwhelming that Red slightly loses his balance, stumbling into Blue in a flurry of everything he’s been keeping to himself for so long. All of it spills out of him at once, in the pressure he exerts against him, the sigh that spills into his mouth, the way his hands almost unconsciously move up to hold Blue’s face. Blue, having significantly more experience with this kind of thing, quickly falls comfortably into the kiss and picks up Red’s slack, pushing against him in turn to keep them in place, slinging his arms around Red’s waist and pulling him close. They’re able to work together for a kiss that is kind of clumsy, kind of overexcited, but honestly still all Red wanted and more.
When they part, Blue has for a moment or two this kind of dazed expression and a slight glaze over his eyes, but it quickly fades as he blinks himself back to reality. His arms around Red relax their hold slightly, but stay there as the two of them catch their breath.
“Huh,” Blue says again, the blush on his face now finally starting to clear out. Red licks his lips and there’s something new there.
“Did you know?” is the first thing Blue asks, before lightheartedly scoffing. “Guess that’s a dumb question. You didn’t, right?”
Red shakes his head. “How long?” he asks.
“How lo…Ugh, way too long.” Blue lolls his head to the side slightly. “Long enough that I had convinced myself I’d gotten over it for a while. Clearly…clearly not. Uh, you?”
“Not that long ago,” Red says, then pauses, then rephrases, “I don’t know. Maybe longer but less intense.” He shrugs. “I don’t know.”
There’s a moment of silence then, but it’s far from empty, filled with contentment and relief at finally letting out things they’d both been holding in too long. There’s a new feeling in Red’s chest now as well, and he finds he prefers it much more than the aching one from before.
Eventually the moment ends Blue returns his hands to his own sides. “So,” he begins, “you wanna go back now, or…do you just wanna keep standing here?”
It’s a joke, but the idea of just staying here with the salty air and subtle breeze is tempting. Not more tempting, however, than flying back to their hotel, turning on another boring movie and getting a redo of last night.
Red pretends to think it over for a moment, then points in the direction behind them with a smile.
Blue mirrors his expression in earnest. “Perfect.”