Adult Content Warning
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Summary
Shane presses his forehead deeper into Ilya's body, breathes through his nose when he feels the stretch in the corners of his mouth and his throat closes up from the intrusion. The patch of coarse hair there scratches his nose and chin. He tries to swallow some of his spit, but all that failed attempt does is make him drool even more when he gags, his tongue involuntary pushing up and outwards to clear up his passageway but he would not take Ilya out of his mouth.
Instead, he closes his eyes and takes another deep breath through his nose, recalling all the breathing techniques he learned in therapy, in training, in his experiences being intimate with Ilya. It should be easier now than when he's fully hard, but that sinking feeling of failing stings Shane's eyes all the same. It's one thing to fail at something — at being like the other guys, at winning a game, at getting a joke — but it's another thing to feel like he has failed someone.
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Shane wants to help Ilya takes his mind off something. Even though he doesn't want to tell him what it is.