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One thing about Mondstadt was people liked to believe in ghosts and fairies.
They liked to blame a ghost for a fallen leaf.
They liked to thank a fairy for the full blossom of flowers.
They liked to pray to the winds if a messenger bird arrived early, instead of thinking maybe the bird was well cared for and able to fly fast.
And thank the stars if a ship travels faster than usual, instead of trusting the captain's skill.
And that's exactly how, Kaeya ended up in Jean's office on a Friday morning, listening the tired Acting Grandmaster complaining about the overflow of multiple reports about ghosts in the Knight's headquarters.
"What do we even tell them? You know we can't dismiss these because there are multiple of the same complaint." Jean said as she let out a loud sigh and closed her eyes with a single hand, leaning on the desk.
"Jean, come on now, they are literally complaining about the HQ being haunted. Are we going to take this seriously, like, for real?" Kaeya answered. He was staring at her so done that Jean couldn't help but chuckle.
"I know, I know..." she took a slow sip from her morning tea, savoring the taste. "Though, each one says the exact same thing. Do you really think it's a coincidence?"
"If you truly believe something, you know how your brain does everything in its power to show you signs that it's real. These rumors have been going on for a while, so I'm thinking that they influenced each other into believing it."
Jean hummed in response. "True indeed."
"That gorgeous piano came in with more trouble than aesthetics, I'll give it that." another voice cut in on the conversation. "Though I must say, even as a witch myself, I do find it quite absurd, Jeanie." Lisa pulled a final book from the shelf, stacked it on top of the others, and walked over to Kaeya.
"See, Lisa agrees." Kaeya replied as he took the books Lisa offered from her hands, and walked over to the large meeting table to put them on it.
"We should still come up with a reply, though. It's the procedure."
"I'll scribble a few things when I'm free this afternoon, Jean. Just come over here and check these, yeah? The weekly captain meeting is in 15 minutes."
Kaeya checked the time as he signed off on the last report about the so-called ghost haunting the Knights of Favonius headquarters and playing the piano at the hall, gift from a rich Fontainian businessman who was feeling generous after the deal he made with Mondstadt.
Kaeya knew that the man was going to send something. He was the one who accompanied him to the Dornman Port after all. The man told him over and over how grateful he was to Mondstadt for the opportunity and wanted to show his gratitude with a special gift.
However, even he, Kaeya Alberich ex-Ragnvindr, an excellent judge of a character, couldn't foresee that the man would send a custom-made grand piano to decorate the grand hall in the headquarters.
No one has played it in public since the shipment.
Well, the knights weren't even sure if there was anyone who knew how to play in the ranks.
Except for the ghosts, of course.
Well, Kaeya knew better than that.
Not that the ghosts weren't real. They were real for sure. He knew very well that other nations with different layouts of ley lines let the ghosts wander around to some extent.
However, it wasn't the case for Mondstadt. Mondstadt's ley lines didn't allow that.
The ghosts couldn't be tied down to the land of the freedom.
The spirits didn't get lost under the gaze of the Anemo Archon. They safely made their way to the afterlife.
Even though it was hard to believe that the drunk bard he clinked glasses with occasionally, was actually capable of ruling a land properly. Or ruling in general.
It was hard to believe that little liar was capable of anything at all, actually.
Though, who he was to judge?
He was no better.
In fact, the archon wouldn't be able to hold a candle to Kaeya, at all.
They were both lying about their identities, sure. But lying to prevent tyranny and lying to not get outed as a traitor were different things.
Traitor.
A word made to define him.
A traitor to Khaenri'ah, because he chose love and acceptance over the lives of thousands.
A traitor to Mondstadt, because of the Abyss running through his blood that will force him to turn his back on the land he loves dearly.
He was doomed to fall, doomed to betray. No matter how hard he tried to break the chains of fate, he ended up tangled in them.
There was no way out for him.
Though, wasn't that what he deserved after all the lies and half-truths he told to all the people who showed him true and unconditional love for the first time in his lonely, miserable, pitiful life-
"Hello? Earth to Kaeya?"
He flinched ever so slightly, though it was almost impossible to hide it from Lisa's watchful gaze.
"Ah, Lisa. Just in time. Could you please take these to Jean? I'm done with them; they won't disturb us about the so-called ghosts for a while." he tapped the stack of letters on the table, and held it out to Lisa.
"Sure I can, sweetie. You've been burning holes into that wall just now, though. Is everything alright?" worry was evident in her voice.
"Oh, absolutely. Just the Friday fatigue. I'm eager to sip some nice wine in front of the fireplace, in some very comfy pyjamas, you know." he laughed it off.
Lisa chuckled as response. "Very well. Don't stay past the clock then, cutie. I know you do that a lot more than our dear Jean knows of." she winked.
"Will do, will do." Kaeya waved a hand towards her.
"Also, what did you write in these?" she gestured the letters.
"Nothing fancy. Just that we are indeed aware of the ghost, and we will call a professional exorcist from Liyue in no time. And that the ghost is harmless, and there are multiple knights who can confirm it."
"Well, that surely solves the problem." she nodded. "I shall get them to Jean then. Take care!"
He watched her leave his office as he picked up his pen once more. What Jean didn't know couldn't get him in trouble after all.
And that included his self-assigned off-the-clock activities.
Kaeya left his office a little past eleven. He thoroughly checked every office on the second floor, to make sure no one was doing any late-night work, like he was doing minutes ago.
It was clear.
He slowly made his way downstairs.
The highest risk was Jean. The Acting Grandmaster seemed to not know of the basics of humanity, as he often found her passed out on her desk, definitely not drooling on some important documents, and woke her up to get her home, or at least get her to rest on the couch in her office.
To his luck, her office was empty, the lights were turned off, and the documents were sealed away in the safe.
The first floor only consisted of her office, the library, and the solitary confinement room anyway.
The solitary confinement room was only occupied by Klee, and they would never leave a child alone in a room to spend the night, of course.
The library was never locked. But Lisa also never stayed more than her work hours. Mondstadt's crime rate was pretty low, so locks were usually unnecessary. Except for The Abyss, of course, but their lovely Darknight Hero took care of those.
And the criminals people knew that if one were to commit a crime in any part of Mondstadt, their one and only Cavalry Captain would breathe down their necks in no time.
Confirming that he was alone in the headquarters, he turned his head and locked his gaze on the beautiful, black, and shiny grand piano sitting at the end of the hall with all its glory.
His feet took him across the hall before he could stop himself.
His fingers grazed against the surface of the glossy keys.
He swore to himself a day ago, that a few days of indulgence would be enough, and that he would never touch this thing again.
Yet, here he was.
It's just that, it was a bit too cruel of a fate for a custom-made gift to collect dust in a corner, that was all.
It's what he's been telling himself. And it's been too long since he last touched a piano. Before Father Master Crepus died certainly perhaps.
Anything related to his old life was buried under piles of ash, and he was too afraid to be bathed in black if he tried to dig them out.
It was just, too painful.
But he would let himself have this. Just this much. Life owed him that much.
The life owed him so, so much, but who he was to say that he deserved it?
He tested the weight of the keys, too afraid to play too loud. He hoped that the knights on patrol duty wouldn't hear anything. The walls were usually enough to absorb the sound, but as it's been reported as 'piano-playing ghosts' by civilians on more than one occasion, sometimes people did hear it.
Whatever.
It was the last time he would be playing anyway. There was no need to overthink it.
Since it was officially the last time, unlike what he's been telling himself for the past week, he decided to play something special.
A piece he never dared to play outside of the manor he once lived in as a happy child with a loving family.
Cadentia Stellarum.
The Falling of the Stars.
It was a piece Master Crepus had heard in a musical in Fontaine, and begged the orchestra for the sheet music. He had happily returned from the backstage with papers in hand, Kaeya remembered. He had been there on the trip. Both he and Diluc were there, actually.
After they had returned to Mondstadt, little Kaeya promised their father that he would play this song perfectly one day.
And he did.
It was a difficult piece. And he was no place near that level at that time. He tried a few times, yet couldn't play it. After a few weeks of trying, little Kaeya eventually gave up on the piece and forgot about it.
Until a few years later.
A sixteen-year-old Kaeya found the sheets and remembered his promise.
Obviously, he was undoubtedly better at playing. And after one or two weeks of practice, Kaeya played the song to Diluc, their father, and the staff perfectly.
It was a day before Diluc's 18th birthday.
Master Crepus could only hear the song one time, by his son's hands. If he could still call himself his son, of course.
He wasn't sure if he had the right.
Actually, he was sure that he didn't have the right.
There was no way he remembered the notes, of course. It was just muscle memory he had to rely on.
The first few notes felt strange. His hands didn't want to land on the right keys, it seemed.
'Hmm... I'm pretty sure there was a B in between these. Not a C.'
'Yup, that's correct.'
'Wait, that F needs to be sharp. Weren't all the F's played sharp throughout?'
He shifted his finger on the black key instead.
Note by note, his hands remembered the piece slowly.
He made mistakes in the first try.
A slip of a finger landed on the upper note.
An accidental sharp on a natural note.
A flat sounding too low on his ears.
Eventually, he found the rhythm.
It was as beautiful as he remembered. Almost haunting, captivating the listener with every star that fell with the melody as the song progressed.
The repetitive left hand in some parts resembled a star falling down the sky. That's where the name of the song came from.
The opening passage left a bittersweet taste in mouths, slow but breathless. Like a light dying slowly, with the flame in the lamp losing life further and further.
The keys danced along with his finger like a waltz, in sync, fitting together like the pot and the lid, yet they were never meant to be.
The song slowly built up higher and higher, until it reached the climax. He put on all the weight he could on the crescendo, the heart of the piece that made every listener get lost in melody.
A final arpeggio for the final fall, and his hands rested on the ending keys.
He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, and felt the pain in his heart die down, slowly, to a more bearable level.
The song wasn't longer than 10 minutes. Yet it felt like a lifetime. Memories flooded in like a dam broke, and he couldn't hold back a singular tear that left his eye.
He caught it with the back of his hand before it could fall.
"Didn't know that you still played."
Kaeya would forever deny that he flinched hard before sharply looking back.
"What are you doing here? Isn't the HQ the place of your murder fantasies?"
Diluc only stared back, face painfully neutral.
'As expected.' Kaeya thought, and turned back to the piano. He suppressed a sigh as he closed the fallboard and stood up.
"It was beautiful."
Kaeya stilled for a moment. "Thank you." he looked at his not-so-brother.
Diluc must have sensed the question before Kaeya could ask.
"I heard the 'ghost of the Favonius'. It's the hot topic in the tavern these days."
That made sense. Why didn't Kaeya think of it earlier?
"Well, as you can see, there are no ghosts in here." he replied. Except for the ghosts of their shared past they ended with flames, tears, and blood, of course.
Diluc only hummed in response.
Kaeya stared at him for a while.
"If that's all, Master Diluc, it wouldn't be in the best interest of the Knights if I let a civilian wander around in the headquarters in the middle of the night."
"I don't care about the best interest of the Knights." Diluc replied without missing a beat.
"You would care if I forcefully escort you out the door." he couldn't hide the slight shift of anger in his tone.
"I can lift twice your weight."
"The handcuffs I will be putting on you don't have anything to do with my weight."
"You can't arrest a civilian without any reason."
"You are trespassing on a government property; that seems like a wonderful reason to me."
"The last time I checked, any citizen of Mondstadt can enter here without permission."
Kaeya exhaled loudly as he glared at Diluc. He hated to be the one losing, but he didn't have the mental capacity to play this game tonight.
"What do you want, Diluc?" he asked, all masks gone from his voice.
Only then, Diluc's expression showed something other than a blank stare. Something Kaeya couldn't even dare to think about.
"..." he looked down a bit, before carefully speaking up. "I knew that it could only be you. The ghost, I mean."
Oh. He came to... listen to him play?
No. That couldn't be right.
"I wanted to listen." and there went his hopes for a stoic Diluc who solely came seeking him out just to unleash his wrath on him for playing a piece in the memory of 'his' father. It would be easier to deal with than whatever this was.
He wanted to curse out the entire universe sometimes.
Why? Why now? What changed?
They were supposed to hate each other. They were supposed to sharpen their words and use them as knives to stab each other straight through the heart. They were supposed to be strangers on the best days. And for the worst ones... He didn't want to go through anything like that for a lifetime.
Not that he could ever hate Diluc. His brother. One and only big brother. The very one who shed light on his darkest nightmares, stood beside him through every rock on the road, and taught him how to live like a true child.
Kaeya wasn't very successful at that. But it was the sentiment that counted.
He didn't know how to deal with the caring side of Diluc anymore. He watched it from afar, sure. He watched how he interacted with the local kids. He watched him offer Bennett free training for a pyro vision. He watched him offer Razor a cup of grape juice after the boy rested around the winery after a run.
He watched how the shine in his eyes returned once more after an adventure with the Traveler.
The shine he stole four years ago with his unbearable selfishness.
How he had forcefully taken it into his hands, elbow-deep in filth, and crushed it beneath his foot without talking a second glance.
He was unforgivable for it. If the abyssal blood in his veins wasn't his choice and he couldn't be held accountable for it, the atrocities he committed that night were certainly his fault and unforgivable.
He deserved to be exiled, executed, annihilated for it.
"Kaeya?"
He didn't realize that he was burning holes into the floor. He was doing that a lot today, wasn't he?
"Hm?"
He hated how Diluc sent his mind to static with just a few words.
"You... Did I cross a line?"
He hated how vulnerable Diluc sounded.
"No... It was just-" he let out a breath and pressed his lips into a thin line. "...unexpected."
Diluc's face showed a slight hint of guilt. He didn't know what to make of it.
"I understand if... you don't want me to-" he sighed "I would want to-" he stopped once again.
"It's okay, Master Diluc. One can simply appreciate art without forcing a compliment for the artist. You don't have to say anything else. I understand it's hard to." Kaeya assured, and attempted to walk past him. He didn't have the heart to stay and see the relief on Diluc's face.
"Kaeya, no-" he lunged towards Kaeya and caught his wrist. "That's not it." he said, almost afraid to express it out loud.
Kaeya eyed his gloved hand, gently wrapped around his wrist, for a moment.
"What is it then, Diluc? You are unable to stay in the same space with me longer than five minutes without me getting on your nerves. You physically can't speak more than ten continuous sentences in a dialogue with me. I understand why, so it's okay. Don't force yourself because of that noble heart of yours."
Diluc closed his eyes for a second.
"Kaeya, I know we are not on the best terms, but it doesn't mean that I think poorly of you, okay? It's just- hard to get past the things I remember when I look at you. I don't hate you. I can see it in your eyes that you think I do."
Did he really think that Diluc hated him? Well, he certainly told himself that it's true, but, did he 'really' think like that?
Maybe so. Maybe not.
Diluc must have sensed the inner turmoil Kaeya had, so he spoke up once more.
"Listen, I don't think this is something we can talk about in the hallway of the Favonius Headquarters. Or rather, the place of my murder fantasies."
Kaeya chuckled involuntarily.
"How about you come over to the winery this weekend? The piano we had in the manor wasn't sold away; I had it moved to the winery. You could play to me and Adelinde again, and we would have as much time as we want to talk." he offered, as he took a step closer to Kaeya.
Was this really happening? The subject of his best dreams, Diluc offering their fractured brotherhood another chance.
He felt himself nod absently.
"Okay."
He would think that the ghost of a smile he saw on Diluc's face was nothing more than an illusion of the light, but he knew better than that.
"Is Saturday alright?" Diluc asked, voice painfully soft.
If Kaeya had any crumble of refusal in his body, it would have melted away with those three simple, mundane words.
"Yeah."
It's not that he was incapable of speaking his mind. When it came to words, there was no other more skilled than Kaeya in the entirety of Mondstadt. Perhaps Venti, when he wasn't drunk out of his mind.
But at the moment, he wasn't even sure he could answer any question, even one as basic as his name.
Luckily, his brother (he was allowed to say it, right?) sensed the situation, and didn't push it further.
"See you on Saturday, then."
Kaeya hummed in response, as his wrist was set free as Diluc intended to leave the building, moving towards the exit.
"Diluc."
He wasn't sure what possessed him to take a step forward.
But if the seven archons and the Celestia combined powers to hold Kaeya in place at that moment, he didn't think that they would be able to stop him.
There were some things he waited for a long, long time.
Like his father. He waited for him to return for most of his childhood, after realizing that, it was just never going to happen.
Like his secret. He waited for it to be exposed mercilessly to rip his life off of his battered and bloodied hands. Was it going to be the adoptive father who loved him like his own son that would kick him out of the peaceful life he had in Mondstadt? Or would it be the very same Mondstadt who accepted him as their own, not knowing that he was from the land of godless sinners?
Like his brother. He waited for him to return from his killing spree in Snezhnaya for four years, staring at his vision left behind, his heart only beating when the vision continued to burn.
And now, he waited for a simple hug, over the past five years after their father (again, he was allowed to say it now) died, yet could never ask for it because of the constant conflict he had with himself. A simple hug and the reassurance that everything would be okay.
He hesitantly wrapped his arms around his brother's back.
And oh boy. Did it feel as warm as he remembered.
He didn't know what he expected, though he still felt surprised when Diluc didn't push him away and reciprocated the hug.
If his self-contol wasn't built solid with the constant back-and-forth dance he had with the bandits and Fatui all the time, he would crumble in his brother's arms and let out the tears he forcefully held in for all his life.
But his tears weren't for tonight. He wasn't going to do that to Diluc. Not now.
Maybe another time, when he isn't feeling like hiding anymore.
Maybe one day, his brother would be able to reach those tears through the masks he crafted over and over his shattered heart.
"I'm sorry." he whispered. For what, he didn't say.
For all the thoughts he had about self-control, he couldn't keep the apology in.
Diluc only held him tighter as response.
"I'm the one who should be."
He broke the hug and looked straight into his brother's eyes. "Wha- No, Diluc. I'm the one who-"
"Kaeya." Diluc cut him off. "Saturday, alright?"
"Yeah. Yeah, okay. Saturday it is." he sighed.
Diluc gave him one last pat on the shoulder, and turned to leave.
"Goodnight, Kae."
Kaeya hadn't felt this light in years.
"Night, Luc."