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How are you supposed to feel about your best friend's girlfriend who is a ragdoll who she met in a virtual hell with no escape and if you spiral you risk turning into a horrible monster and getting sent into a room where you reside for all of eternity with the others who met your same fate?
Jax wasn't too sure.
But he was leaning towards not good.
He mostly got to know the ragdoll through Ribbit.
Every thought about Ragatha (the name of the ragdoll) was in relation to them.
He didn't see her as a person. He saw her as his best friend's peppy, annoying, mildly attractive girlfriend.
A girlfriend that was no good for Ribbit.
Why would you choose to have a girlfriend in such a dire situation? Where your very existence could be altered just based on your mental state? The entire idea of their relationship sounded like it would lead to both of their demises.
The bottom line was that they cared too much about each other, it was dangerous.
At first Jax didn't talk about his conspiracy when it came to dating Ragatha.
If he did, he'd have to talk about his idea about the danger of close relationships here.
And then, he'd have to talk about his whole philosophy when it came to living in this place.
He didn't have to explain himself though. Ribbit was very familiar with his game. She didn't want to play it anymore. She had issues with it.
So of course, she had the genius idea to just blow up about it one day.
"You act like you don't care about me! OR ANYONE!"
"You're always getting these ideas in your head and assuming things!"
"When have you EVER ACTUALLY talked to Ragatha!? LIKE A NORMAL PERSON?"
Jax didn't refute any of their claims. They were all true. But why couldn't they see that he was adapting and doing what was best? The circus wasn't a place to talk about feelings and go ahead and DATE one of your fellow captives.
"You can't keep seeing her!" He yelled.
"I'm looking out for us both!"
When Ragatha overheard their argument, she attempted to break it up. But what stood out to Jax was that she didn't deny anything. She knew she was wrong for being in a relationship with Ribbit.
Ragatha was just like him, just instead of masking by acting careless, she masked by acting like she cared too much. It was her defense mechanism. It was idiotic. He saw it in full force. She was a parasite. He could tell by the way she looked him in the eyes, and the way she spoke, telling him to "please calm down," and that "everything is going to be okay."
Why did she feel the need to lie all the time? No wonder Ribbit was so unstable.
Jax told the couple how it was. They were toxic. It wasn't going to work. By the end of the argument, he finally got through to Ribbit, her face full of resignation.
She walked in the direction of their rooms. When Ragatha rushed to follow her, she shouldered past her, saying something Jax was too far away to hear.
The next day, the couple didn't talk. Or the next day. Or the next day. They didn't do adventures together anymore. They stopped talking completely. Jax saved them both. He'd been so pleased with himself.
And then, she was gone.
She was here one day, and then the next, gone.
Jax couldn't register it. The abstracted glitchy figure. The multiple glowing eyes. It didn't look real. It was a hallucination. It had to have been.
How could it happen? How could it possibly happen? Everything was fixed. He saved them! HE SAVED HER!
Watching Ribbit be sent down the cellar felt surreal. Ragatha's crying rang in his ears.
He tried to convince himself that Ragatha was crying because she'd been caught, and it was her who caused Ribbit's abstraction and Jax was just too late to stop it.
But, deep in his heart, Jax knew it wasn't true. He knew Ragatha was a good person. She was crying because she lost her love, and it was all his fault.
He had to admit that he really knew nothing about her.
He started trying to read Ragatha the next couple of days. Really read her, not make assumptions.
He realized it wasn't difficult to pay attention, but it was difficult to see the pain written all over her face.
Was that disgust on her face?
Was she about to get sick?
She looks so empty.
She looks at me like she doesn't trust me.
Of course she doesn't trust me.
I hate the way she looks at me.
It was too much to bear. He had to do something.
One evening, after an extremely tiring adventure, Ragatha sat down on the circus floor. She did it often, ever since Ribbit was sent to the cellar. She sat right where the floor had opened and Ribbit was sent down.
Jax looked around. Everyone was leaving. Everyone being Kaufmo and Kinger.
He was starting to think Kaufmo hated him. And he was starting to think Kinger was putting the pieces together in his mind to really understand what happened.
He looked back to Ragatha, who's head hung low.
God, he had to do something. Not everyone could hate him.
He walked over to Ragatha, standing right by her.
"Raggy?" He said. Could he still call her that?
The ragdoll lifted her head. Her eye looks lifeless. It pierced his heart.
"Can I still call you that? Raggy?" His voice shook.
She gave a tiny nod. He tried to smile at her, but he felt more like he was grimacing. But he pushed on, crouching down beside her.
He scolded himself in his head.
Raggy? What he's going to say isn't playful though.
He sits down fully. His smile fades as he studied her expression. He has to do this right.
"Ragatha," he spoke quietly, "We're going to take care of each other," he said.
Ragatha just stares at him. Jax scolds himself again. WE? She can't even take care of herself. She definitely doesn't want to take care of me.
"F[@#$&]ck," he whispers, looking down at the floor, before lifting his gaze. "I'll take care of you now."
It just leaves his mouth like that, and it came so naturally to him but he's unsure what he even means by it and he doesn't even see how she reacts to it because he's already wrapped his arms around her and his vision is swimming. He feels her plush body shudder from the contact, and fear spikes within him. He's scared. He doesn't want to pull back and look at her face at see that she's scared too.
But then, he feels her soft arms wrap around him and squeeze him. Tight.
His eyes widened before they fluttered shut. He's warm all over and so so relieved. He gently rubs circles with his hand against her back.