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Darkened skies loomed over his head, as his feet pedaled against the grain of his bike. He breathed in the cool air on this November night. It had been 15 months since the rift had opened in Hawkins, 15 months since his entire party was in one central place and 15 months since he discovered who he truly was.
Mike Wheeler was many things, a storyteller, a leader, a friend, but on this particular night he realized that he was also scared. No one was supposed to have fears especially when Vecna preyed on that particular aspect of people.
So Mike presented himself as someone everyone could depend on: a brother, a son, a friend, and once, a good boyfriend However, he knew he had failed as that last thing 15 months ago, when he knew who he truly was.
Breaking up with El not only felt right, it worked for everyone. He did not have to hold her back as she took on her superhero role and trained to take on her enemy. He also did not have to play a role he knew in his gut didn't feel right.
You crossed my mind
A few miles ago
Turned on your street, thinking I'm headed home
So on this night, he biked down a familiar road, but it wasn't towards his house. No it was to his home, a home he had built years ago deep in his soul. A home where he could be his true self, the one that allowed all that quirkiness to tumble out and not be ashamed of those feelings he had been feeling since he was twelve.
He gripped the handle bars as he leaned back and took in a deep breath. He leaned forward, and the bike wheels spun faster as it glided down the familiar winding path. It was exhilarating playing with the idea that tonight was the night, the night he let go of his fears. The night that he knew he couldn't be a crutch in his friends’ plan to finish Vecna.
However, his heart did hammer in his chest as he got closer to his home. Tonight had to be the night, he decided it when he couldn't breathe late at night, fearful that Vecna would creep into his mind. The way he had done with Max, and showed him his fears. It was torturous enough to pretend.
It's late in the night
I hope you're alone
And nobody else is there holding you close
No more pretending for him, tonight he would confess his fears, that his strongest fear was also his strongest feeling, love. Tonight Mike would tell his best friend Will Byers he was in love with him, and that it was killing him to not be with him.
Killing him in the sense that since Will came out just a mere six months ago, and Mike's heart exploded. When Will confessed to his friends his true self, Mike felt the hairs on his neck stand up, and goosebumps scattered across his arms. He could taste the thick air on his lips and his throat clenched. His knees buckled as he tried to hug his best friend, as Dustin, Lucas and El hugged Will after coming out.
He couldn't move, and the awkwardness thickened the air even more. He could see Will’s face contort with pain, but Mike did not want him to think it wasn't because he was accepting of Will. It was that Mike’s biggest fear and wish came true all in a mere few seconds.
The crushing look on Will’s face was too much for Mike to take and he engulfed Will into the tightest hug he could muster up. In those few seconds Mike swore his heart would give out as it pounded against his chest. His breathing lapsed and the scent of Will Byers filled his nostrils of dewy grass and fresh linen. Something Mike would crave as soon as they parted, a craving that had grown with every tick of a clock.
A craving that ached his soul, especially when someone else had the opportunity to bask in it. A guy Will met in art club, someone who did not quite mesh with the rest of the party. It was like a stab to his heart every time he saw them together, the only time Will could be out is when they hung out in secret. Mike had to be supportive, a best friend, an ally, but inside Mike was falling apart.
He fucking couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't take another second of torturing himself. Especially since El discovered what Mike was hiding. He could remember the moment that transpired just a week ago.
He was sulking away as El practiced on her pumpkins and he tried to come up with a plan. One that would stop Vecna, anything to get his mind off of Will who had just slinked off with his boyfriend before El had to practice. El could see Mike’s eyes dart away from them and then darkened. So she approached the subject with the tact that Joyce had been training her in.
“You don't like him do you?” El pondered as she placed a pumpkin on a scarecrow.
“What?” Mike asked.
“Will’s boyfriend?” El pushed.
“What! Of course I do!” Mike was astonished and El recognized the tone right away.
Fear.
“He seems nice Mike, he makes Will happy, why shouldn't we accept that?” El asked.
“I am very accepting of Will,” Mike scoffed.
“So why do you do that? Stare, then shutdown, and then throw yourself into my training? Do you want to be with Mike?” El asked.
“What El, no … wait that sounds meaner than I wanted to. El I care for you, I just want to make sure we’re all safe, it's like my D&D games, I just need to make sure everything goes according to plan, so we are all ok,” Mike said and rubbed his face.
“Mike … friends don't lie, something is up with you,” El said and walked over to him.
“Just worried about how this guy fits in with us, he doesn't know us, he doesn't know the truth, the Upside Down, he just doesn't fit,” Mike shrugged.
“Why?” El pushed.
“He's just not right,” Mike mumbled.
“Why?” El pushed further.
“He's just not,” Mike sighed.
“For Will?”
“For any of us,” Mike said.
“Mike … you know … I see the way Jonathan looks at Nancy, and the way Mom looks at my Dad. It's how I used to look at you … it's how you look at Will,” El confessed.
Mike didn't admit nor deny her confession. Instead he plopped himself down onto the grass and placed his face into his hands.
“You know Vecna feeds on fears, if you just admit it” El said moving on.
“I can't El,” Mike whispered.
His throat clenched just like it had six months ago, he couldn't say the words aloud because admitting he was in love with Will Byers was something he wouldn't be able to hide anymore. It wouldn't squish down in his chest with the fears of losing everyone. Coming undone was simply not allowed. So El didn't push any further, she threw an arm around Mike’s back and leaned her head on his shoulder. She knew he needed a friend, more than anything at that moment, and it was a perfect moment until a twig snapped and both of their heads turned to see Will with a look splashed across his face, one they couldn't decipher but he walked away before either could question it.
So tonight as Mike biked down that once familiar path to the Byers, he knew he couldn't take the gnawing feeling that ached his soul. The cravings had grown, especially since Will had become distant in the week. As he could see the small home that the Byers shared with Hopper and El, Mike braked his bike.
What the fuck was his doing, why wasn't he going forward. Why wasn't he turning the bike back around? Why did he strand in the middle of an empty road, with a heart that hammered against his ribs and chest.
And I tried to love again
Now I'm right back at your door
I know in the end
He could see a warm glow in one window, a faint shadow passed by, and Mike could feel the hairs on his neck stand up. That figure, Mike knew exactly who it was, he knew it by the way the wind knocked him out. It was Will.
His knuckles whitened as they tightened around the brakes of his bike as he gripped the bike. His feet firm on the ground, stopping himself from running into those familiar arms and being captivated by Will’s scent. Instead he stood firmly in that spot for ten minutes waiting to see the shadow pass by once more. He waited until he could feel the rain patter on his face, and then drench his jacket and shirt to his skin.
Mike Wheeler had it bad, so bad he was risking pneumonia and the rain soaked him. That heaviness grew with every second, and then he saw the same shadow. He knew Will was alone, it was confirmed, it had also been confirmed when El mentioned it earlier at training with the party.
Nothing … and no one was stopping Mike except himself. Yet his feet pulled him forward as Mike stared at the Byler’s home. It was like it summoned him as he pushed his bike through the mud in front of the Byler’s home. He felt drawn to the idea of just finally feeling free. As he stopped right in front of the cabin door, he could hear Will shuffling around inside.
Mike’s heart sped at the thought of being alone with Will to let him fully in. His chest rattled and he could hear the blood rushing in his ears, the mere thought, the mere feelings had just become too much and tonight he just needed to let it all out. Yet Mike didn't knock, he stood frozen, and he could feel his skin begin to feel iced by the rain. It wasn't until the yellow warmth enveloped him as Will opened the door holding a trash bag. The bag clattered to the floor as Will could see Mike standing there clutching his bike soaked to the bone.
“What the hell! Mike?” Will said and grabbed Mike into the cabin and the bike fell to the floor.
Will slammed the door shut and pulled Mike further into the cabin. Will shuffled around the room, searching for something as Mike Wheeler stood frozen in his living room. Will grabbed the long red fluffy towel off the pile by the fireplace and rushed over to Mike. Will’s eyes searched Mike’s, to question why didn't Mike knock or say anything. It wasn't until the soft cloth touched Mike that smacked Mike back to reality.
“Will!” Mike chattered and realized he was shivering and his teeth clattered.
“Mike what the hell? Are you ok?” Will said softly, in a way that made Mike’s stomach somersault.
Mike looked down, he had a few inches over Will, and could see in Will’s eyes that he was scared.
“Yeah … yeah - I … fuck … yeah,” Mike stuttered.
“Okay you're freezing, come on take this off,” Will said and reached for Mike’s jacket.
Mike could feel the goosebumps raise against his skin as Will peeled the heavy material off his shoulders. Will’s fingers caressed at the soft skin of Mike’s neck and Mike had to suppress the sounds that wanted to spill from his lips.
“Mike you're soaked, take that shirt off, I’ll get you another one,” Will said and rushed away to his room.
Mike slowly peeled the shirt off his body and could feel the warmth of the fire tickle his skin. He placed the shirt onto the side table and could feel his body tremble but it worsened when he looked up.
Staring eye to eye
I can't look away
Spent so much time apart, still nothing's changed
I find nirvana inside of your love
Across the room, Will Byers was looking at him with a look Mike had never seen before. It excited him, an excitement he felt on roller coasters, or when he used to jump from swings at the park as a kid. The kind of feeling that twisted his inside and exhilarated his entire body. Mike’s eyes met Will’s who swallowed hard.
“Here,” Will said raspily and held the shirt out to Mike, keeping a distance that Mike ached to crush.
Mike wanted to reach out and grab the shirt but the way his heart raced at the thought that maybe … Will wanted him as much as he wanted him. Mike’s hand trembled as he reached out for the shirt and his fingers brushed against Will’s. A jolt of electricity they both tried to ignore but their faces said otherwise.
“Thanks,” Mike said and held the shirt clutched into his hand.
“Mike, what the hell are you doing here?” Will questioned.
Mike didn't put the shirt on, he wanted that look in Will’s eyes to stay. The craving had grown, it had become palpable. Mike knew he had to say something, but sometimes words weren't enough. Sometimes it was actions that spoke the loudest. He took a step forward and he could see Will gulp.
“I have to show you rather than tell you,” Mike said and closed the gap between them.
Despite his fingers feeling like ice, Mike grabbed Will’s hand that was trembling. Mike could feel his own tremble at the fact that what he was feeling was jolting him the same. Mike placed Will’s hand on his chest, right by his heart.
“You're freezing, you're going to get sick,” Will whispered. It was still raspy.
Mike didn't care, he didn't care anymore, because he knew the way Will’s eyes didn't meet his. The way his heart pulsated at the fingertips of Will’s finger ever so lightly. The way he could hear his own breath gasp for air as the gap between them closed.
“You say I am the heart of the party, but Will you're mine,” Mike confessed.
“What?” Will stuttered finally meeting Mike’s eyes.
Mike watched as those golden eyes vibrated in confusion, passion, and ache.
“I am in love with you,” Mike confessed.
“What!” Will said and Mike could feel Will’s fingers press into his skin. It was as if Will was trying to hold onto something so Mike placed his hand over Will’s.
“This,” Mike gestured to his heart and could feel Will trembling.
“Belongs to you,” Mike said, surely, positive, happily, freely.
Will let out a shudder and Mike leaned his forehead against Will’s. Will shivered and Mike could feel the electricity build between them as his lips grazed Will’s ever so lightly. The graze was tantalizing and Mike knew he was pushing boundaries. Yet he couldn't stop himself but he couldn't close the gap, he wanted Will to, he needed it.
His request was obliged as Will pressed into Mike. It was slow and light but it quickly turned into a battle between the two. As if they could not get enough between them, Will’s other hand found its way into Mike’s curls and he pulled at the ends. Mike could not help but grin against Will’s lips as this kiss rejuvenated everything inside him. It wasn't like he was freezing just moments ago, no his body was on fire. Mike placed his other hand behind Will’s head holding him in place, pulling him closer, trying to meld their bodies into one. Will pulled away slightly and traced his lips against Mike’s jawline and Mike couldn't help but let out a moan. That one sound unleashed some in Will and Mike felt Will’s lips back on his own. Will’s fingers pressed into Mike’s chest, pawing at his heart, trying to captivate it for himself. However, Mike already knew it belonged to him but god how he wished he had known sooner. If he had known what this bliss was, that the craving he had so bad was just going to get worse. He was addicted to Will Byers, he was in love with Will Byers, and Will Byers wanted him back. The kissing had slowed down as they needed to breathe, and their chest fell into sync with one another.
“Mike … I am sorry, I -”
“Never! Apologize, It's always been you,” Mike said.
“Come here,” Mike whispered, and sealed the gap between them.
Mike Wheeler knew it was always Will, it was always going to be him.