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Oh, no. Ray was mad at him.
It took Joel a very long time to learn how to discern the signs of Ray’s anger. For one, Ray was a laidback, sweet guy that never held grudges, but at the same time confrontation didn’t suit his interests one bit, which led to the occasional crossed arms and snarky comments that were the clues to his annoyance. Joel, meanwhile, was a man with a horrible attention span and little consideration for certain small matters. Besides, as far as he was concerned, Ray was a little shit half of the time, so how could he tell when he was being a little shit for a specific reason?
But when you date someone, you start to pick up on their little quirks and mannerisms. By now, Joel considered himself to be an expert on the subject of Ray. And his senses were telling him that Ray was mad.
Maybe it was because of the way Ray was sitting on Joel’s couch, all hunched and cross armed and the smallest bit of a pout on his lips. Maybe it was the way he rolled his eyes. Or maybe the biggest clue was Ray shoving his hand onto Joel’s face, asking if he was listening.
“Yes, yes, hey!” Joel pushed the hand away from his face, realizing he’d spaced out this whole time. “I mean. No, I wasn’t, actually.”
Ray let out an annoyed groan, eyes turning towards the heavens. Joel began damage control. “I mean, I would be listening, but I was trying to figure out why you were mad at me.”
“Joel, I was literally telling you why I was mad at you just now.”
“Oh. Really?”
“Yeah.” Ray frowned. “You got all drunk at the bar yesterday and kept trying to make me drink. You do this every time you get wasted and it’s starting to get old, so please stop, okay?”
“Aw, is that it?” Joel scratched the back of his head, suddenly sheepish. “Was I really that drunk? I’m sure it was just in fun.”
“Yeah, you were. And there’s no ‘fixing’ me not drinking, all right?”
Joel went to counter with a smartass comment, but he decided not to in the face of Ray’s serious expression. “All right, all right, got it,” Joel conceded, raising his arms. “My bad.”
“No problem, man.” Ray inched closer to Joel on the couch, back to his usual self. “No harm done. I’m used to you being a dumbass.” Affectionately, he gave Joel a peck on the cheek, who just rolled his eyes.
“Oh, shut up, kid.”
The paranoia set in the next morning when Joel woke up two hours before Ray, realizing he had probably been a major douche of a boyfriend. Here he was trying to change something about Ray that Ray had no desire changing, all for his own selfish gain and satisfaction. Joel was trying to force something negative on Ray, no less. Truly, Joel was a terrible man unfit for the love and affection bestowed upon him.
Joel had a habit of staring intensely when lost in thought. Ray nearly jumped out of his skin when he woke up to what he called Joel’s “psycho look.” The younger man recovered in time to get ready for work.
At the office, Joel spent his time nervously rapping his fingers against his desk incessantly. Gus groaned every time he walked by, not interested at all in initiating social interaction, but Burnie walked by a few times as well and eventually took pity on Joel. He put his hand on Joel’s desk, leaning down a bit. “Hey, Joel, you’ve been looking even more stressed than usual. Everything okay, buddy?”
Joel glanced at him, working out how to respond. No one at work knew that he and Ray were dating, so Joel had to dance around the topic a bit. “How do you…apologize?”
Burnie raised an eyebrow, laughing a little despite himself. “You say sorry, you idiot.”
“No, I know, but let’s say, you already apologized, but it was a shitty little apology because you didn’t think you did anything too bad, but then you go to bed and realize what you did actually was pretty bad and you want to make a better apology?”
“Then make a better apology? I don’t really know how to answer this. I don’t know, give them an ‘I’m sorry’ present if you’re losing what’s left of your goddamn mind over it.”
“Presents are hard,” Joel muttered, but Burnie was already gone, his parting words being “Get to work!”
He leaned his head on his hand, his elbow on his desk. Joel looked upwards, as if trying to find inspiration in the roof. There were no great cosmic signs granted to him, but Joel figured, with his vast knowledge of Ray, he could manage some sort of present to show that he was really sorry.
Inspiration eventually struck him, and he began clicking furiously at the computer.
When he got home that night, Joel’s phone vibrated with a new text. He opened his phone to a text from Ray.
Did you really send me a bouquet of roses as an apology
Joel typed back sheepishly, yes
Soon after, another reply was sent.
You dork. I already said it was okay
But thanks
Love you <3
Joel let out an embarrassingly high pitched giggle, proud of himself. love you too, Ray, I’ll try to be less of a dumbass in the future
Impossible
Joel harrumphed at that. He expected his own apology present in the near future.