Chapter Text
"It's all my fault."
"You see it...don't you."
"The way I look at you."
"The way I talk to you."
"And the way it happened. "
"It's all my fault; I'm the one responsible for this and this alone."
"Blame me."
"Punish me."
"And get rid of me at once. I'm such a fool to even keep around or is this my punishment. To keep me alive; to suffer this."
"Its only reasonable."
That's all I wanted to say in this moment that no matter what I do; I will fail because it's my fault, and I'm not exactly wrong in this context, but this was not like the other times when I have failed.
There was no fixing it this time. A utter waste of time for some one like me.
i didn't deserve their mercy or empathy. They would still help me but this was the end of it, all of it.
"No more tries."
"No more time."
"No more hope for me."
"It was officially over even though it had felt like it only started."
It felt like the stress dissipated only for the feeling of failure and dread to take place, and spread all over my body.
like a parasite, I was slowly starting to die or at least it felt like it.
I later cried my heart out on the floor wailing from the pressure of earlier like a child; well I am but just one that is expected to act like an adult and I have the same expectations as one too.
My episode continued that night. All I wanted was to scream, and run even to the extent I almost did numerous time's before this.
Knowing this would happen.
Yet after staying up as a habit I soon made myself exhausted with the idea.
"I'm really tired; do you think I could fall asleep now that's its over. I probably don't deserve it but it would get rid of this grief....right? I'm so stupid."
Later I fell asleep regardless of the situation but that was my very first mistake.
It only got worst from here. A episode that introduced my demise but hope for the future.
" Hello, could you wake up. We don't really have time for this"
A strange voice called out to me from the outer world. It sounded like a man or quite possibly a woman trying to be a man.
"Huh"
After my half asleep response there was murmuring around me. like bee's or bugs humming next to my ears.
The voice spoke again but with more malice, to only insult me.
" your really how your resume described you. Lazy, irresponsible, and stupid. I mean i can just see it on your face."
Ouch.
"-and i expected you to look like your picture but you just look like some kind of wild rodent showed up at my door."
A wild rodent, now their getting creative or I really do.
"not to mention It also say's here your fifteen, how could you already screw up your life this badly?"
No comment.
They just kept going with the insults until I woke up.
Though it ultimately ended in violence...
"You little piece of-"
they yelled as they smacked me senseless while trying to wake me from my deep sleep.
Soon I awoke with pain, confusion, and scared.
"Gasp, w-, huff, what are-, huff, you doing?!"
I was hanging from my collar that was being death gripped by a man. The man looked about my age (for a second before suddenly looking 10 years older.) His hair was magnificent though. It was light color of purple mixed with coal, almost like purple ink how it was draped all around him.
His face was even harder to describe when it looked like a man always changing his age and gender; even his birthmarks/moles.
I think he also had purple eyes to make his hair pop more but it was really hard to focus on anything at this point. Besides my mind was boggled from the intense wake up call.
"Who- who are you and where is here?"
I looked around to see a well decorated office or maybe a library? Anyways it looked ancient but was in pristine condition. It diffidently looked like it had been taken cared for regularly.
"Oh so your finally awake, good."
I was instantly dropped; My head rang from impact. Probably not a good sign.
Not even a breath later I had trouble coming, again.
"Tie him up, make sure he doesn't get away, again"
I was then bombarded with rope and peoples hands trying to keep me still. Later they succeed in tying me up in rope.
"What do you want with me?! Let me go!"
"Ah, sorry no can do, and ill tell you in a second just be patient"
He turned around and went to a pile of papers, the man soon started to look through them thoroughly. This was absolute BS; I shouldn't and don't want to be here, this sucks.
"What am I even doing here? You can at least answer that, right?"
He turned around all excited like with papers in hand.
"Sure! Now lets begin the interview, shouldn't we."
"Interview?"
I asked confused, he immediately respond as if I had just offended him.
"What?! No one had told you! you are applying to be a shifter, right?"
That's when I realized.
This was most diffidently a dream.