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Fire. Fire was surely the single greatest thing Touya had the power to create- it was the bright thing that defined his worth and if his skin needed to become the gasoline to fuel the flames of a selfish dream passed to him, then so be it. That's what he seemed to decide on attaining after his quirk had awakened.
Nevermind the burns and the redness, itchiness of the ever-numbinh surfaces on his body; he had a convinction in his mind. Get better and better and-
"Stop using your quirk!"
"Go play with the kids your age, hm?"
"Touya!"
Why did Endeavour suddenly sound so irritated? Wasn't he supposed to be proud of him? Actually, why would he be? He's a failure. That must be it, yes! His flames aren't strong enough- Worry not, he'll get better!
The single worst Touya could believe in was the twisted goal his father had ingrained into him far too strongly and far too soon. It didn't matter that he forbid Touya from using his quirk- he was a child, with something that he felt gave him warmth and seemingly nothing to stop him.
How would you feel if you saw your family entrust a fire to you, giving you warmth and something to live for, only to tell you "Hey, put the fire out."
Why would the fire matter? Because it burns him?
That shouldn't be important! Because that's what he was made for! He must fit the conditions of becoming strong, a hero surpassing all, otherwise he would only...
Actually, then, he would be nothing more than soot and ash that has no value nor worth. Simply hollow nothing.
Touya felt empty. He felt hollow, confused, having grown used to whatever fiery turmoil his emotions had been since, say, he attacked Shouto.
Had he even apologised to him? He probably should. He doesn't really blame his little brother. After all, it isn't his fault he was born. It isn't his fault he's the perfect child.
And Touya is the defect that wasn't supposed to be. Really, what did he expect? His father's warmth? After failing him over and over again? That man's a maniac anyway! His mother's gentleness? She's cold and far too distant-
His siblings? "You told me this hundreds of times...let me sleep..." Why would they care? There's no reason for them to. Touya has an inkling of how they see him. Probably nothing worth their time. Natsuo, Fuyumi... Shouto...oh, Shouto, if you'd be in my place, how would you feel? You'd feel better, than I, right?
Since you're oh-so-great. Since you're made of gold. You have everyone's eyes on you! Tell me then! Tell me how much brighter would I have to burn to feel truly warm again- huh?!
Touya never really realised he was mumbling to himself. He didn't really realise he was half-awake. And he absolutely didn't realise that the addressed 5 years old child absolutely heard his blabbering and he was just as confused as his elder brother.
Touya had what you would call a manic obsession that grew and shrunk depending on his mood.
Right now, logic was buried under heaps of distress, the teen only seeing what he knew as absolute.
Firstly, he knew it was cold. He hated the cold.
Secondly, he barely slept well- he dreamt more and more about all-consuming flames. Although he loved fire, he didn't want to bring harm with his flames, not really.
Third, burning felt right. Pain was secondary to the twisted sense of accomplishment and warmth whenever he raised the output of his quirk. It was everything he wished his family would love too.
But if they had no time left for him- time being the greatest possible show of care for a child, teen even- then he himself would have no regard left for the self either.
Four, it was 2 in the morning.
Five, Touya's mind was convinced he must be dreaming. Delirium resulting from quirk overuse was a fascinating side-effect. He didn't know what his plan was. But...this was a dream, wasn't it? Since he can't sense his limbs well. Yes, this must be imaginary. Then, he could go to...say, Sekoto peak? And train! Wait, if he has control over the dream...he could just imagine his family there, with him! Wouldn't that be great?
Or selfish. Doesn't their love need to be earned? Work for the attention Touya! Work for it! And if this isn't a dream, you'll be none the wiser!
Such was the voice that kept the boy walking up the hill. That cursed hill he invited his father to-
Will he come? It's 2am. But he's still a son- so, as a child, surely, he must be loved enough to be seen one more time?
Just one more time. Once more. Again. Over and over again, he'll try and work his way to-
To what? What's at the peak? The sun isn't even up- it won't be up for another 5 hours or so.
Then Touya himself will become the sun- doesn't the flame-kindling love the sun?
Take that Shouto! And Endeavour! I'll surpass both of you in the nighttime!
And then, he reached the peak.
Todoroki Shouto wasn't one to stay up late, yet for some reason he couldn't fall asleep. Be it because of the unusual brightness of the crescent moon or the colder-than norm temperatures- he could not sleep. The child was awake.
And he soon saw his brother pass the door of his room, heading to the front entrance to the house. He was donned only in his pjamas- a knee-lenght pair of pants and a slightly oversized shirt. He'll freeze if he goes out like this!
Then, Shouto didn't really think about Touya's ability to create fire or his resistance to cold. He simply didn't want his brother to catch a cold.
Everyone's so worried about him already! Maybe-
Maybe he could catch up to him and give him his coat! And even ask him if he could play with him- teach him some new things! Maybe he'd be more fun to train with than the old man!
With that in mind, little Shouto made his way to the coat rack and immediately faced obstacle number one: he was but a wee child and the coat rack was for grown-ups.
Meaning he would either have to find a stool or...
He remembers Fuyumi losing something once and replacing it with an ice construct. Ice is flashy and cool- so it must fit the practicality too!
Mission fetch-a-coat was therefore initiated- with Shouto carefully focusing on an image in his head.
His palm refused to even so much as cool down. He pouted, trying again, this time imagining the ice leaving his body.
All the managed was a minor bit of frost.
By the time he managed to make a small ice ladder, barely holding on, cold irritating his left hand faster, he was sure Touya was far ahead. He would have to be very-very fast to reach his brother now!
Right then, the child got ahold of a pair of coats, the ladder melting into a puddle of water. He would deal with that later-
He quickly put his boots on and ran out of the door, frantically looking for a familiar head of white hair and blue eyes.
The man with said features sat atop a rock on the peak.
Touya found that despite whatever he had set his mind to, his body was refusing to cooperate.
He wasn't sleepy, but he wasn't energised either.
He felt weirdly numb, he couldn't decide if the cold was even affecting him with his resistant body- then again, resistance wasn't immunity. He probably really should've bought a coat.
Moving around didn't do much to quell the urge to burn.
Why did he have that again? From a distance, it seemed like he was on top of his own little world. But power was meaningless.
No one to show it to...no one to share it with...that kind of fire better go out. No use fuelling such a lonely existence.
Loneliness...was he himself lonely? Was Shouto lonely? Was everyone around him just terribly lonely?
If anyone asked, he wouldn't have been able to explain the sudden onset of thoughts.
He wanted, desperately so, to turn back a bit to the urge to burn- it was familiar and unresolved.
If he'd just resolve it, would it finally go away?
Ah, yes. He was going to show his brilliance. That's why he's here.
Parade of the pyromaniac teen.
He raised his hand, then arm, to shoulder-height and watched with a small smile as red flames started dancing on his palm, light reflecting in his blue eyes.
Shouto didn't think the hill would be so far away. In hindsight, what else would be expected of a child?
To his credit, he decided to keep going anyway, following the familiar tracks of his brother's shoes. Left and right and is that the smell of smoke?
"Touya-nii..?"
Was he in danger?
"It's alright! Why? Because I am here!"
Would Shouto be able to say these words too now?
No matter, that could come later. Now, he needs to run-
"Run Melos!"
"Melos? What a silly book..."
"Eh? Why do you say that Touya?"
"There's no way the king just changed like that overnight."
"Is that so? Well...I think I see what you mean now."
He remembers overhearing this particular exchange between Fuyumi (who read books above her grade level) and Touya who was a bit younger than the guys his grade, having started school earlier. He was confused then and he's still confused now. He'll asking niichan to explain it to him when he gets there.
Why did that memory pop-up again?
Ah, yes. He has to run!
Whether it was the adrenaline or the determination, he reached the hill a bit faster now, just in time to see a flicker of great blue light.
Touya was focused on turning the heat of his flames up- watching as orange turned to blue- like all his melancholy and soul spilling out into a new form-
It's still not enough. Father's still not here. He-
"Touya-nii!"
The shock and surprise the sudden interruption instilled in him was enough to dwindle his focus and turn the flames to sparks.
"Shouto? What the hell are you doing here?!"
The child puffed, breath visible as he held up a familiar coat to the taller one.
"I-it's cold out...I... bought you...coat so... you don't freeze!"
Touya just stared at his grinning idiot of a brother.
And he did not know how he felt. He didn't know how to feel.
He knew it wasn't hatred that burrowed itself deep into his chest, but he also didn't yet learn a word for it.
He crouched down in front of the child who tugged the coat towards him.
He wanted so badly to yell, sob, burn, incinerate everything in sight to release whatever irrationality had posessed him-
He wanted to confront his little brother.
"Shouto...playing the hero again...what...is it that makes you better than me? Is it because I nearly burnt you once? Is that why you're here? Do you hate me? Do you just want to make- me feel- are you trying to make yourself feel better? Why are you here?!"
His rambling wouldn't have made sense to anyone, let alone a kid.
"I told you! I didn't want you to be cold!"
Shouto seemed to be getting frustrated too.
Touya held his gaze for a while before yanking the coat away from him with a tsk. Shouto poked his tongue out at him.
"You could at least thank me you meanie!"
"You're the mean one you-"
"Am not!"
"Yes you are!"
He wanted to shrug the coat off.
But it's warm. It's just simple practicality. No way in hell was he going to accept help from a snotty brat probably trying to one-up him.
That would make the most sense.
The way down the hill was hazy. Touya faintly felt something tugging at his hand.
"Hm...?"
He looked down to see Shouto holding his hand.
"It's cold still. I don't want either of us to be cold."
"And you think holding hands will fix that?"
"I heard penguins hug to keep warm."
"If you try to hug me I will throw you off the hill."
"Meanie!"
"Same to you!"
"Why is your hand so weird?"
"Huh? It's rude to say stuff like that you know!"
"Answer my question!"
"I just burnt it while washing the dishes is all."
"Liar! Fuyumi did the dishes this week!"
"I never said it was this week."
"...oh."
But it was still a lie.
Touya turned away and tugged the coat's zipper higher up as the chilly winter wind blew.
He sighed and looked at the house slowly peeking out from the trees and horizon, slowly realising that if he was to find anyone in the house awake now, he'll be in trouble.
This wasn't a dream, just pure delirium.
That morning, Touya and his brother made their way back to Hell.