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Green and Purple awkwardly stood across the room from Second whose hands were wrapped around a steaming coffee mug.
“I’m not gonna ask him. You go ask him.”
“I’m not gonna ask them either…! Maybe if we just wait for him to finish his coffee then we’ll-“
“I can hear you two from all they way over there. What the fuck do you want from me?” They tilted the drink for a sip.
Green took a shaky step towards him, “Well… Me and Purp really want something to really make this relationship feel complete. So, buddy chum boy, we want-“
”We want you to give men the ability to become pregnant.” A sentence so fast and outrageous Second spat out the scalding brew. They clenched the back of his chair, coughing and wiping his mouth absolutely dumbfounded
“What- what the…”
Green shrugged, “Tis’ the truth.”
Second stomped up to the two idiots and grabbed them by their collars, “Do you two know how insane of an idea that sounds? Do you know what horrors millions of mammals go through on a daily basis for months to contribute to their population?”
“No.” Purple’s pupils shifted from one side to another, “Do you?”
The orange stick was dumbfounded once more, he knew about pregnancy as a whole; being the Star of Cycles and all that jazz, but what they had to go through was an experience they could not replicate for themselves.
“Alright.” He sighed, “You win.”
“What?” Green coughed, “Just like that?”
He stood up, half-empty mug in hand, “Yup. Wish granted. I mean, I would do anything for you guys. Just give me a day, or two, and in the meantime; you two can do the sideways tango, the hoo-ha,”
“Orange,-“
They began to walk backwards, further and further away from the couple, “The boom chicka bow-wow,“
“Second-“
“The night of passion!”
“Second! We are the only ones in the house, you can just say sex!” Purple finally finished his sentence.
They scanned their surrounds to confirm. The house was indeed empty, “Ah.” They smacked their lips, “Well, I’ll be off!”
>Two weeks later…
The happy family was having breakfast with Purple over, when Green whizzed down the stairs with an ecstatic grin.
“G’morn, Green. You seem to be in a good mood this fine morning.” Blue greeted.
He giggled, “That’s because I have some great news to share with y’all!”
The room went quiet.
He raised his arms in jubilation, “I’m pregnant!!!!!!”
The room burst into confusion.
“HOW?!”
“This is a joke.”
“Oh stars…”
Second couldn’t take the noise and took matters into their own hands, “Everyone, calm down!” A green shockwave shutting everyone up.
They sighed, picking up the remote, “He’s not the only one…”
They turned on the television, then clicked on the nearest news channel.
“Breaking News. Gay couples across the Outernet have reported signs of pregnancy in one or multiple members in the relationship.” “Many have gotten positive results after a test. And this video from renowned YouTuber, @Greenzilla4, also known as hero: Nuclear Symphony, explains this preposterous mystery. The footage goes as follows:” The screen flipped PowerPoint style to the idiot’s video, “What’s up, Grasshoppers! It’s been a while and I have some exciting new to share with you all: I’m pregnant! Okay, okay, I know that sounds insane, but here’s the story.” Green rambled on how he and Purple wanted a kid, so they both got their good buddy The Second Coming to change the genetic code of all mammals so everyone had the chance to bear a child. “So, uh, yeah! Pretty crazy. I hope you guys can understand if things can get a little crazy here. I will reward you sweet peoples with the sight of the child! Stay safe and wear protection! Greenzilla, OUT!” Yellow shut off the screen, then eyes turned to Second. “Okay. First of all, how do you rewrite the genetic code of all mammals? Is it like lines of actual code?” They shrugged, “I just do what you do.” “I DO NOT REWRITE GENETIC CODE!”
The table went into a heated argument everyone talking over each other. Second buried his head in his hands, “Oohhhh what have I done?”