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“No, actually, you know what? Fuck you. I don’t care if I get called a hypocrite for this, but you’re both BAD parents.”
A hush settled over the gathering, a sudden tension filling the air as if a dead god’s name had been spoken. Kristen didn’t exactly remember the feeling intimately, but if the way Fig flinched beside her was any indication, she DEFINITELY did.
Both of them had turned at Sandra-Lynn’s raised voice, and now stood frozen on the other side of the new pool, taking in the stare-down between her and the Applebees.
Kristen felt guilt squirm deep in her gut. She had insisted on inviting them, on trying to repair the relationship at LEAST enough that they didn’t resent how much time her brothers were spending at Mordred with her. She figured a barbecue was a good, low pressure environment, where they wouldn’t feel too penned in and lash out at anyone. And that if they did, she could pull them away easily and talk them down.
She hadn’t expected one of the other adults to be the one kicking things off. Although, seeing who it was doing the kicking off… did kinda track.
In the stunned silence, before anyone could figure out exactly what to do, Sandra-Lynn continued unhindered, a beer filled, red solo cup in one hand, and the other pointing at Kristen’s biological parents.
“YOU don’t get to talk about responsibly raising children when you abandoned your own eldest daughter the MOMENT she questioned your religion.”
Mac opened his mouth as if to respond, but Sandra-Lynn, standing at full height and spine rigid with authority, cut him off.
“I may be the least perfect example of a mother, but there is NO WORLD in which I would kick my own child out, or ANY child that came to me in need, simply because their world view didn’t align with mine. The fact you want to stand there and tell me you feel JUSTIFIED-”
“So you’d have us housing strays too, because you feel like some kind of ‘saint’ for raising latch-key kids? Like you even have a hand in raising the kids you claim to be taking in?” Donna practically shrieked, “We have STANDARDS under our roof, is that a CRIME to people like you?”
Kristen wanted to melt into the floor, and wondered if Fig somehow knew that when she suddenly grabbed her arm and squeezed it. She glanced sideways, surprised to find a wide, wicked grin forming on Fig’s face.
Huh. Fig had been anticipating this show-down. Her mom must have said something about her parents when Kristen wasn’t around. That didn’t really make her any less inclined to go invisible and try to sneak off, but with the grip Fig had on her, she knew that wasn’t really going to be possible now.
Donna’s insult was backed up by Mac’s fervent nodding and reddening face, “Yea, what business do you heathens think you have telling us how to bring up our kids, huh? I don’t even know why we’ve let the boys come over here this whole time, if they’re being exposed to the likes of…” He glanced behind Sandra-Lynn, where Gorthalax and Sklonda stood beside Jawbone, all of them stock still and staring intently at the Applebees, “-y’all folks.”
The venom put into the last word made it clear that ‘folks’ was not the word he’d wanted to say, but maybe thought better of using a different F word when being stared down by both an eight-foot tall Pit fiend, and the razor-thin pupils of Sklonda Gukgak.
There was a hard beat of silence where Sandra-Lynn seemed to struggle not to crush the plastic cup in her hand, and Kristen could have sworn she saw actual embers of fury in her eyes. Maybe some of Fig’s magic had rubbed off on her?
All thoughts of how that could be possible drained along with the blood in her face when Sandra-Lynn spoke again.
“She was fourteen. She died on her first day of high school, and she was fourteen, and she had to face the god who set her up on a plinth without ever asking if she wanted to be there. And when she found out that plinth was made of… of fucking cornstalk-straw, and she tried to get down off it because it was too damn high, what did you do?”
Mac and Donna both looked like they’d been slapped again, frozen and perplexed by the question, but Sandra-Lynn didn’t seem to want an actual answer from them. She stalked forward two paces and jabbed her free hand in an accusing finger again.
“You prioritised your faith over your own daughter. I know she told you what happened when she met Helio. And clearly, you were more interested in your status as ‘the chosen one’s parents’ than your actual child’s experiences and feelings. She DIED, had a crisis of faith, and you told her not to rock the boat. Am I getting that right?”
“You SHOT your daughter!” Donna snapped, like a cat spitting while backed into a corner.
Fig’s hand twitched on Kristen’s arm, but a glance sideways showed her fangs still on full display in a cheshire grin.
Across the pool, Sandra-Lynn put her free hand on her hip, “Twice. Under the influence of the Nightmare King. And I put in the work to make things right with her, because I never felt worse in my life than when I loosed those fucking arrows. But you’ve been shooting verbal and emotional arrows at Kristen for years, you’ve been doing it TODAY, and I don’t see a LICK of remorse. It’s like you WANT to drive her away. She wanted you to come today because she still thinks you’re worth having a relationship with. Because she has the strongest faith in both gods and people of anyone I’ve ever known, and I’ve learnt by now not to deny her because usually, USUALLY, she’s not wrong.”
It was like someone had dumped ice and fire through her, and Kristen somehow managed to lock even harder into fight or flight than before, unable to really do either, rooted to the spot by Fig’s hand.
She was suddenly, painfully aware that she was standing in her dripping tie-dye board-shorts and bikini-top, the bright pink starburst scar on her chest on full display. Her parents had been avoiding looking at her the whole time they were there. They weren’t breaking that trend now.
At the further end of the pool, her brothers were set in a frozen tableau, Cork on Bucky’s’s shoulders, Bricker on Gorgug’s, their pool noodle jousting lances limp by their sides. They were open mouthed but irksomely quiet, glancing between their parents, Sandra-Lynn, and Kristen.
The next words from Sandra-Lynn had everyone’s eyes magnetically locked back on her though.
“I don’t know how she got to be like that. Because clearly, none of her compassion or understanding came from either of you.”
It was like Adaine had summoned ice mephits, the snap of shock accompanied by a few hissed intakes of breath. Which was the only reason Kristen realised Riz was standing on her other side. She had no idea when he got there, but his hand found hers, squeezing. Had all her friends been anticipating this conversation she was being totally blindsided by? Had Adaine mentioned a vision and she’d not paid attention?
Mac Applebees looked like he was chewing on a lemon coated in chilli powder, jaw working furiously and face a deep red, “And you think you’ve done better by her? Encouraging all this… this wishy-washy, mystery and doubt? Letting her cavort around with… with these ‘friends’ of hers, that get her into even MORE trouble? Pulling her further and further from the light?”
“We took her in because you abandoned her first. You emotionally abandoned a fifteen year old after she told you her whole world view had imploded, and you wanna complain about her finding support elsewhere? As if you didn’t drive her to exactly that? You made your love conditional, and then decided she didn’t meet the conditions. What the FUCK did you think was going to happen?”
“We love our daughter! We just don’t love the choices she makes!” Donna huffed, eyes not straying anywhere near Kristen’s vicinity as she pointedly glanced at the other parents and Bad Kids dotted around. At all of Kristen’s choices.
Sandra-Lynn glared daggers. “That’s a condition. You love her, in theory, if she does what you want her to do. And when she doesn’t, you withhold that love. You talk about it, but you don’t really FEEL it, because if you FELT it, you wouldn’t even be able to think about asking her to earn it. It would just be there when you see her. No barriers. No bargains.”
The sun barely felt like it was touching her, Kristen’s skin numb to anything but the icy words filling her up. She felt the pressure of Fig and Riz, both closing ranks, leaning into her, grounding her, but gravity somehow still didn’t seem real. The only thing holding her in place was every muscle in her body holding tight, locking all the roiling emotions inside.
It felt like Sandra-Lynn was flaying her open, right then and there, somehow pulling out every piece of dirty laundry she’d shoved into the crevices around her heart and tried to forget about. It was messy, and mortifying, and somehow still felt as good as lancing a big fat pimple. All the gross, corn-yellow pus being pushed out.
‘I think we need to work on your metaphors. That’s all really gross and not super relatable, why would you have dirty laundry in your soul?’
Kristen didn’t get a chance to respond to Cassandra’s cool, soothing voice popping into her head, because Sandra-Lynn wasn’t done dragging her parents to filth.
“You didn't even have the decency to forward any of her mail. You didn't even have to do more than drop it off, or put in a simple re-direct-”
“When Kristen decided to leave us, she shoulda followed through and done her due diligence sorting out her own mail. We were teaching her a lesson about what it means to be an adult-”
“You were being petty and immature yourselves, more like,” Sandra-Lynn scoffed at Donna, getting a death-glare in response.
Mac bristled again, “Just because you don't agree with how we teach our kids life lessons-”
Sandra-Lynn snapped back with a voice like a cracking whip, “‘Teach’ is a bit of a stretch, lessons designed to punish them don't teach much besides how little your kid can rely on you.”
Donna stamped her foot, looking as if steam should be shooting from her ears, “We didn’t make her leave! She kicked herself out first!”
A look so cold it seemed utterly strange came over Sandra-Lynn's normally warm and welcoming face, and Kristen was sure if she had her bow on her, she would be knocking an arrow right then and there. Instead, she lost the fight not to hold onto her cup too tight, the plastic cracking loudly, like an omen.
“A fifteen year old can’t fucking kick themselves out. That's not how that WORKS. When your kid leaves, and you don't want them to go, you don't just shrug your shoulders and not even bother to look out for them. You call around, you ask the other adults in her life to watch out for her. You reach out to her as many times as she'll let you, just so she knows you're still there for her.”
Kristen glanced sideways at Fig, her wicked smile having softened into something else, something more surprised. Kristen leant into Fig, knowing that Sandra-Lynn wasn't just talking about how Mac and Donna had failed her.
And it was only now the comparison was being made that Kristen was realising that they really HAD failed her. Mostly on purpose.
Which… maybe hurt a lot more than she expected it to.
“You never reached out to any of us. Never checked in on whether she was doing okay, never asked if we could keep an eye out, never seemed interested in who she was with, or what had been going on. That’s not how a parent shows their love.”
“We didn’t need to… to be seen consorting with the kinds of people who lured her away from the light. We trusted Helio to keep her safe.” Mac said with all the conviction of a true zealot.
Sandra-Lynn tilted her jaw up at him, eyes hard, “No, I guess you wouldn't want to be seen with the kind of parents happy to take in your daughter and treat her as a person, rather than a status symbol. Not exactly a great look for you by comparison."
Mac ‘s jaw flapped like a stunned fish, face somehow getting redder, but Sandra-Lynn wasn't done with them yet.
“I don’t think you really know how lucky you are that Kristen is so good at finding friends like she has. I know I count myself lucky to be able to bring her into my family. And I can tell you now, the only thing Helio had to do with it was prove himself as much of a disappointment to Kristen as the two of you.”
Mac had positively puffed up like a balloon, swelling with more anger the sharper Sandra-Lynn's words became.
When he spoke, it was in a barely controlled rumble, his voice shaking as much as his body with suppressed rage.
“We will NOT be spoken down to by a - a back-water Elf who - who are YOU to talk to US about faith! You're not exactly acquainted with the concept, huh? Like we don't know the perverted stuff you get up to!”
Sandra-Lynn let out a bark of laughter at that, “Oh it always comes back to that shit with you cult types huh? Like loving more than one person is more perverted than valuing a parasocial relationship with a god over a relationship with your own children. I’m good at beating around bushes, in more ways than one, but I’d rather not with your kind, so I’m gonna get right to the point,” she trained her sharpest ranger look on the both of them, Kristen feeling Fig’s excitement in the way she gripped her arm so hard it almost hurt.
“I will never turn your children away. They will always have a place at our table, a bed to sleep safely in, and an ear for whatever they want to say to us without fearing it will get them kicked out. And if you can’t say the same, then you better stop reflecting on Helio and start reflecting on yourselves.”
That seemed to be a shade too far for Mac. He marched up to Sandra-Lynn, who didn’t give a lick of ground, the two of them squaring up. Sandra-Lynn had about two inches on Kristen’s father, and she used all of them, jaw set and eyes hard, contrasting the way his jaw worked like he was chewing glue, eyes bulging.
Kristen felt her stomach lurch, both Fig and Riz shifting into battle readiness in half a second, Fabian and Adaine both rising from their sun lounges, Gorgug shifting to put himself between her parents and her brothers. Most alarmingly of all was Sklonda’s hand behind her back. She’d seen Riz taking on that pose too many times to not know what she was reaching for.
The tension in the air was thick enough to be cut with a knife, though it seemed seconds away from being sliced by Mac Applebee’s Axe instead. Or it would have been, if another voice hadn’t filled the silence.
“I know I don’t have much stake in this conversation. But considering my former position, and my history with parenthood… I feel it would be remiss of me not to interject.”
All eyes were suddenly on Gilear, who wore a stained, luridly coloured tropical shirt, very rumpled tan shorts, and mismatched flip-flops. He stood between Gorthalax and Jawbone, hidden from Kristen’s sight by Gorthalax’s huge frame.
He shuffled forward and put a hand on Sandra-Lynn’s shoulder, which she didn’t seem to acknowledge. Gilear looked unperturbed, facing down Mac’s fury with a remarkably calm look of his own.
“What do you even have to do with any of this? What makes you think we wanna hear anything else that ANY of y’all have to say?” Mac half rumbled, half hissed, still puffed up and clenching his shaking fists at his sides.
“Because I understand, to some degree, where you’re coming from.”
That had everyone’s eyes zeroing in on Gilear with no small amount of disbelief.
Sandra-Lynn broke her stare down to deliver him a similarly intense look, but he just held his free hand up.
“Let me clarify… I understand that you feel as if your efforts for your child have been thrown back in your face. And even though I am not, technically, human… it is a very human response to be upset when your efforts are undermined. I also felt that way when I discovered that Figueroth was never mine by blood, and I had been deceived for more than a decade.”
When Kristen glanced sideways at Fig, this time, their eyes met. Fig seemed as blindsided now as Kristen… clearly this was not how she’d expected this showdown to go. Kristen managed to wriggle the arm Fig had been clutching enough to shift it so she could lace her numb fingers into Fig’s own, squeezing.
When Kristen looked back across the pool, she noticed Gilear’s eyes flicking away from them and back to Donna as she spoke up again.
“Oh, PLEASE, by all means, we need to be lectured by ANOTHER ELF now about how we’re terrible parents.”
Mac grunted and nodded, sneering at Gilear, who still looked remarkably un-affected.
“The point I wanted to make is that having been a poor parent myself, I feel I may be even more qualified than any of the other parents present to speak on this matter. After all, I rejected my own daughter, and I can tell you, it was the biggest mistake of my life.”
“Maybe you would have been better off following our example. I doubt there’s any saving a soul that willingly accepts hellspawn,” Mac hissed, spitting to the side and staring down Sandra-Lynn again.
She went to raise an arm, the fire leaping in her eyes, but Gilear slid between the two, continuing with a tone of forced calm, a definite edge of cold creeping into his voice.
“It’s funny, because the two of you were actually the ones to inspire me to change my attitude.”
That had both the Applebees and Sandra-Lynn turning slightly nonplussed looks on him.
“When Fig started to stay with me, and she brought Kristen along, I learnt a lot about how you raised her. I realised what I had in common with the both of you, and found I didn’t want to do to Figueroth what you had done to Kristen. Which is also why I made sure Kristen was aware that she had a place in my home,”
Kristen thought she and Fig might break each other’s fingers with how hard they held each other’s hands, neither of them quite daring to breathe as Gilear stood to his actual, full height, looking down his nose at the two humans before him.
Despite the soiled, rumpled clothes, and horrendous comb-over, it had seldom before been so evident that Gilear was still a high elf.
“I may be a pathetic shadow of a father, but I could not bear to ever stoop to your level. It did wonders for my mindset in reaching out to Figueroth to repair the relationship I had nearly entirely ruined.”
The collective hiss that went around seemed more charged than a chain lightning strike, and Kristen was aware of Riz again as he made the quietest little “Oooooooo buuurn.”
In complete contrast, after a beat of stunned silence, Fig practically exploded beside her, almost blowing out her eardrum with a whoop and a “YEAAAAAH, GET SHIT ON! EVEN AT HIS WORST GILEAR IS A BETTER PARENT THAN BOTH OF YOU!”
This was enough to break the Applebees. Rather than attack, however, Mac turned on his heel and grabbed Donna’s hand.
“THAT’S IT! We are LEAVING. BOYS! Get out of the pool and get your things, there’s no saving ANY of these FREAKS and MONSTERS! ESPECIALLY not your sister.”
The Applebees stomped their way towards the fence at the edge of the garden, only turning to wait expectantly for their other children to be following them out. Except when they turned, it was to see that not one of the boys had moved.
Kristen noticed that Bricker and Cork weren’t looking at their parents, but instead glancing between her and Bucky.
And the look on Bucky’s face was one she’d rarely seen on her usually chipper, sometimes nervous eldest brother. There was a resolve in his eyes and a set to his jaw. He stood resolutely in the pool, not moving, and so Bricker and Cork also made no moves to get out, glancing up at Kristen like deer in headlights.
“Kids… we got plenty of room if you wanna stick around,” Jawbone said gently, “You boys can stick around as long as you want.”
Even at a distance, Kristen could FEEL her father’s rage boil over.
“IF YOU BOYS DON’T GET OUT OF THAT POOL AND COME HOME RIGHT NOW, YOU WILL BE LOST IN THE EYES OF HELIO FOREVER! YOU’LL BE DAMNED, JUST LIKE THE FALLEN CHOSEN ONE!”
The bite to his last words was like another slap to the face for Kristen. But it didn’t sting… rather, it felt like it jolted something into place, finally, and Kristen found herself smiling wide.
When she spoke, it wasn't a shout, but she knew her parents would be able to hear.
“You know what, I was thinking that Cassandra and Ankarna could maybe invite their nephew, Helio, into the Pantheon for a bit. You know, maybe teach him how to do better, as a god. Not that I think that would fix his followers or anything. I don’t know if that’s possible. But could be a good influence, y’know? I know he’d be glad to see me at least. And I’m sure our gods wouldn’t turn away family, y’know?”
‘I mean, especially if Sol has had THIS bad of an influence on him. It’s only right we should try to bring him into the light’, a sneaky little voice whispered into Kristen’s soul, making her smile even wider.
At the gate, Mac looked like he was one second away from storming back in and trying to drag Kristen’s brothers out of the pool physically, something Bucky must have picked up on, since he answered that statement quick as a whip.
“I think Helio could really use a good influence like that. Maybe he could follow in his ex-chosen’s footsteps, broaden his horizons, get less narrow minded.”
“HELL YEAH!” Fig hollered, Kristen unable to hear Ankarna, but detecting the whisper of her magic to tell her Fig had been having little asides with her the same way Kristen did with Cassandra.
The wind finally seemed to go out of the Applebee senior’s sails with that last proclamation, realising that they weren’t going to be leaving with ANY of their children. They stalked off, bristling and impotent, taking the tense atmosphere with them.
As soon as they were out of sight, Kristen’s attention was brought back to her immediate surroundings by footsteps and a hand on her shoulder.
“Kristen, sweetheart, you okay? I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to cause a whole scene, I just… I couldn't- Oh!”
Kristen had whirled on Sandra-Lynn, Riz and Fig releasing her as she did, which was just as well. Both of them clearly knew she had the strength to drag them along if they’d held fast, and it would have made the hug she wrapped Sandra-Lynn up in a little more clumsy.
Arms, less beefy, but no less strong, wrapped around her in kind. “You know I love you too, right honey? We all do. You’ll always be ours as long as you want.”
“Pretty sure that’s something I’m always gonna say yes to,” she sniffed into her foster mother’s shoulder. “But uh… you’re serious about… about the boys?”
“Honey, you know damn well we’ve got the room, but we might need to organise a raid to get their stuff over here.”
“I think my mom can help with that, she’s got her lawyer face on right now and she’s on the phone, so I wouldn’t worry about it,” Riz snickered from Fig’s shoulders, where he’d climbed to keep an eye out on Mordred’s boundaries. Kristen doubted her parents would be back with a cavalry, but she appreciated him going German Shepherd mode while Fig was busy processing the emotional aftermath with her.
Sandra-Lynn pulled back to rub her shoulders and look her over, “I’m still sorry I… y’know, went a bit far. I didn’t mean to call you out-”
“It’s literally SO fine. I just…” Kristen was aware now that tears were running hot down her face, but she couldn’t stop beaming, “It was nice to like… have an adult standing up for me.”
Something like sadness seemed to pass over Sandra-Lynn's face at her comment, but she smiled back, cupping Kristen’s cheek affectionately as a fierce determination came back to her eyes.
“ANY time you need it sweetheart, you just call me in to bat.”
“Maybe don’t call Gilear for it though, like that was a hell of a smackdown but uuuh… think he’s having a panic attack. I’m gonna go make sure he’s okay,” Fig could barely hide the amusement in her tone as she made her way around the pool with Riz still on her shoulders. On the other side she could see Gilear bent over with his hands on his knees looking like he wanted to throw up, Jawbone patting his back.
Sandra-Lynn sighed, “Might have to go wrangle him to go lay down inside for a bit, think he might actually have heat-stroke.”
As her step mother departed with a comforting squeeze to her shoulder, Kristen glanced around the pool, catching the eyes of her party members, their families… HER family, she realised.
Everyone there had been behind her. Supported HER. She wiped at her eyes, turning to the pool when her vision was less foggy, and locked eyes with Bucky.
Her younger brothers weren’t playing any more, but they chatted animatedly as Gorgug checked in with them. Bucky, though, was watching her with concern, so she sent him the biggest, most genuine smile she had in her.
And not a bit of it was forced.
It hit her suddenly that a weight in the pit of her stomach, a weight she’d been used to carrying her whole life, was suddenly gone.
As much as she believed in the power of doubt and mystery… the relief of finally having no doubts or unknowns about the reality of her birth parents and how she felt about them was a relief like no other.
She didn’t need to wonder any more.
She didn’t need to waste any more energy on them. She could focus it all on her REAL family.
‘No more dirty soul laundry then?’ a gentle, amused voice murmured to her.
Kristen laughed, following the wave of invigorating happiness that infused her and turning it into action, jumping to cannon-ball into the pool and join her brothers and Gorgug.
‘There’s still some in there for other stuff, but it’s like, my strap harness and some shibari rope-’
‘REALLY need to rethink that metaphor.’