Chapter Text
This was it. Giyuu was finally going to do it. He’s going to tell his parents he’s a homosexual. He doesn’t know why he’s doing this, or how he’s standing on the porch of his home, sweating like it’s a hundred degrees outside (it is currently early winter).
This would be so much easier with Tsutako. She already knows, well she knew.
Tsutako had died only a year ago, when a drunkard had attacked her on her way home from work.
It had been a month before, when Giyuu had come out to her. She had been so incredibly supportive it made him tear up and cry in her arms until sundown. He had never felt so happy in his whole life.
Now he’s standing here, rain thudding loudly against the cement behind him as he tries and thinks about how his parents will react.
He takes in a breath, exhaling after a few seconds.
“The worst they can be is disappointed.”Giyuu mumbles to himself, grabbing the knob of the front door and twisting it open.
Inside, he sees his mother making dinner in the kitchen, his father doing paper work on the couch.
“I’m home.” He announces loud enough for his mom to hear over the clatter of dishes.
It’s silence for a beat.
“You missed dinner.” The woman in the kitchen says, not moving her eyes away from cleaning the plates in front of her.
Giyuu swallows down the lump in his throat, fiddling with the sleeve of his uniform as he thinks of what to say. He clears his throat one more time,
“I-I wanted to talk to you and Dad about something, something important..” He curses himself for stuttering.
both his parents look over to him at this point, showing annoyance at the distraction from their work. His father huffed loudly.
“Well? Spit it out, Giyuu. I have important work to finish.” Giyuu swallows down a lump, the sweat building up on his forehead.
His hands feel clammy and shaky and he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to say the words stuck in his throat.
No, he has to. This is his one chance, he has to take it now.
“I-“
Dammit, Giyuu. Say it. Say it! SPIT IT OUT!!
“I’m gay!”
It’s silent, so silent it’s almost loud.
His parents' eyes widened in shock. His mother looks appalled, just absolutely disgusted.
Giyuu starts to get nervous, his breathing getting heavy and quick as he picks at his fingers. He didn’t notice his father roughly standing up from the couch, making hurried steps over to his son.
A slap across the face is what wakes him from his worried state.
“What the hell is wrong with you!” His father yells, the volume of his voice hurting his ears.
“I can’t believe this. Such a disappointment..” He can hear his mother murmur through her hand.
The comment stings but he doesn’t let it show through his expression.
“Are you hearing yourself?! A homosexual? Really?!” His father continued to yell and scream in his face, Giyuu’s eyes focusing and unfocusing.
He doesn’t know why he feels so shocked, he had a feeling this would happen, but it still hurts to hear.
“I’m-.. sorr-“
“Don’t say anything dammit! I don’t wanna hear another word from you!”
He sees his mother come up behind his father, the onslaught of his words continuing towards him. He feels another slap across the face, this hand smaller than the original, a sharp sting from long nails left behind.
“How could you? How dare you be a god damn faggot?“ His mother asks coldly, as if it’s his fault he’s like this.
He doesn’t respond back to her. He knows he can’t unless he wants to get hit again.
He feels so defeated, he doesn’t know what to do. His heart is beating like all hell and it’s almost like he can’t breathe. The only time he remembers feeling like this, it was when his best friend, Sabito had died..
Fuck, he wants to cry. He wants to cry so bad it hurts, but he holds on to what little dignity he has left and keeps the tears at bay.
“A fag like you shouldn’t live in this house.”
His head shoots up at that.
What? What does she mean? She couldn’t possibly…
“Your mother’s right. Pack up your stuff and leave. A disgraceful creature like you doesn’t deserve a house and a bed. I want you out immediately.” He hears his father say, his voice harsh and rough.
Giyuu starts to hyperventilate. It’s getting harder to hold back his tears.
“Y-You can’t possibly.. Do you two hear yourselves, you sound insane!” He starts to yell back.
“You can’t kick me out! I’m still your son, dammit! You can’t just throw me outside because of your bigoted beliefs!!”
Now he’s starting to cry, his unshed tears starting to sting his eyes from holding back so desperately.
A scoff is heard.
“We can and will. You will leave, and you won’t ever come back. No son of mine will be a fucking faggot.” The older man says, sneering at the younger in front of him.
Giyuu doesn’t know what to say. His face feels hot and wet with tears. His bottom lip is quivering and he feels like he might pass out at any moment.
At this point the man gets tired of waiting. He grabs Giyuu by his arm roughly, dragging him upstairs and ignoring the younger's attempts to pull away. He pushes Giyuu into his room, watching him stumble for a second.
“Pack up your damn clothes, then leave, boy.” The man closes the door after that.
Giyuu stands there for a few seconds, holding on to his now sore arm. He might be bruised from how tight the older’s grip was.
He can hear the two people talking from downstairs, words like disgraceful, mistake, disappointment, and damned fag escaping the mumble of conversation he heard.
He blocked out the rest of the conversation after that, going to his closet to collect some clothes that would fit into a bag he found. His vision was blurry and his hands were shaking like crazy, it was hard to get a good grasp on his clothes sometimes.
He couldn’t believe this was actually happening. His parents are kicking him out, all because he can’t control who he likes.
He feels the tears start to form again- he didn’t even realize when they had stopped- his eyes started to feel tired and weighted. He wanted to sleep so bad, but he knew if he took any longer the two downstairs might just actually kill him. So he finishes packing quickly, the bag now full of clothes and other essentials.
He finally made his descent downstairs, avoiding the disappointing glares of the older two. He stood there at the end of the stairs,
“Well? Aren’t you going to leave?” The Woman sneered, tilting her head in mock curiosity.
It wasn’t a question, Giyuu knew that. He simply nodded and continued towards the front door. He rested his hand on the knob before turning back to his parents. He sucked in a shaky breath.
“I’m sorry.” He murmured softly, big tears falling from his blue eyes and hitting the floor with a quiet thud.
With that final breath of words, he turned the knob and left.
Outside, it was still raining, the quick and heavy raindrops covering up the hitch in his breath, covering up his sobs. He brought his hands up to his face to try and rub away the fat tears, showing to be futile as they just kept coming and coming.
He missed his sister, she would’ve known what to do, she could’ve been here to help him. But she’s gone, and he’s alone. He started to cry harder, his throat hurting from his sobs and groans.
After a bit, he sniffled and lifted his bag over his head, using it as a makeshift umbrella. He took a step off the porch and made his way to… somewhere. Where would he go? He knew no one, no one who liked him anyway.
There was no one he could go to, he realized shortly.
After almost 20 minutes of just walking, he found a tree, the ground underneath just dry enough to sit. Giyuu sighs shakily, a tiny relief filling his tired body.
He sat down under the tree, removing the now soaked bag from above his head. He directed his attention to the leaves above him, his eyes stinging from tears and fatigue.
He felt so very tired, falling in and out of consciousness. He was starting to fall asleep, he could tell. The last thing he remembered thinking before slipping into darkness was,
How am I supposed to get through this?