Work Text:
The first time Donaldine met Elona was at a gala to celebrate the upcoming elections. Celebration wasn’t quite the right word for it, mostly comprised of shady deals and passive-aggressive small talk.
She had heard of Elona, of course; seen pictures and videos of the woman marketing her legendary Tesla, but apparently that didn’t compare to seeing her in person.
Beautiful wasn’t the right word to describe her; Elona wasn’t really all that pretty in the conventional sense. She was almost as tall as Donaldine, with a square face and bushy eyebrows.
Currently, she was standing across the room by the champagne table, snapping at an unfortunate waiter. Her eyes resembled that of a beagle as they glared down at the young employee.
It was unexpected when Elona glanced up and met her eyes. It was even more surprising when the woman promptly abandoned the waiter to calmly make her way across the checkered floor to where Donaldine had been conversing with an up-and-coming politician.
“Evening,” Elona addressed the man Donaldine had previously been speaking to, “mind if I steal your companion?”
The man opened his mouth to reply.
“No? Wonderful.”
Elona curtly took Donaldine’s wrist and pulled her over to an unoccupied corner of the room, expertly weaving through the crowd.
As they reached the space, she let go and leaned back against the pillar behind her. “Donaldine. I must say, your reputation proceeds you. You plan to run in the election this term, correct?”
Donaldine startled, attempting to compose herself before answering. “Ah, yes that’s correct. Elona, right?”
Elona ignores her, examining her nails before looking up, “what would you say to a deal?”
Donaldine paused, now on alert. “That would depend entirely on what kind.” She braced herself for what would likely be yet another underhanded ploy for power among billionaires.
Elona eyed her, seeming to sense her unease. “I can win you the election.”
Donaldine, despite standing still, almost tripped in surprise; mouth falling open in shock.
“I’m sorry?” All her gala practice seemed to disappear from her mind in that moment; her normally rock-solid composure violently shaken.
“I can win you the election,” Elona repeats, “if you make me your right-hand woman.”
Donaldine narrows her eyes skeptically, “How?”
Elona laughs, a grating sound that somehow still managed to make Donaldine swallow.
“Simple.” Elona leaned in conspiratorially. “Wouldn’t it just be so time efficient if I released a digital vote teller?” She smirks, “with electronic counting, it has the potential to make things so much more accurate too.”
“Are you suggesting that you could-” Donaldine quickly checked that no one was within earshot, “-rig the votes!?”
Elona looked at the older woman, amused. “Well of course, I don’t see why not.” She calmly glanced around the room. “It would mean putting me over the rest of these bone bags; but I would hope that’s not a difficult choice, given the circumstance.”
“Well then,” Donaldine steeled herself back behind a gala poker face, “I do believe we have ourselves a deal.” (Alright, maybe she let a bit of her delight shine through)
“I’m glad we could come to an agreement.” Elona smiled, a crack of warmth slipping through her icy demeanor. “Partners, then?”
“Partners.”
---------------------
“Donaldine, it worked!”
It had been about six months since they met at the gala, and Elona was practically bursting with excitement.
She dashed around another corner, not bothering with composure with no one else in the building. It was Sunday, and everyone else was out for the weekend, but Elona had stayed to perfect the rigging on the digital ballot box.
Donaldine was the only other person there. Speaking of which-
“Donaldine!” Elona burst into the room, panting from her sprint through the halls. “Donaldine, I got it!”
Donaldine was already standing, likely having heard Elona’s shouting through the door.
“Really? It’s fully functional?”
“Yes!” Elona laughed gleefully, “it’s all set to be implemented as soon as we need.”
Donaldine grinned, skipping over and hugging her in excitement.
“I knew you would get it soon!”
Elona froze, surprised. It wasn’t like they had never touched before; Elona had grabbed Donaldine’s wrist at the gala, and they had patted each other's shoulders or high fived a few times since then; but this was the first time either of them had hugged the other.
It wasn’t that Elona didn’t like it, in fact she found Donaldine rather attractive despite the woman being 25 years her senior. It was almost cute how the woman consistently managed to pick a foundation that was ever so slightly orange, or how her eyebrows drooped over her eyes in such a way that made her constantly look a bit constipated.
“Sorry, that was unprofessional.” Donaldine stepped back and Elona realized that in her shock, she had neglected to hug back.
“No, no, it just surprised me a bit, it’s alright.” Elona hurriedly attempted to fix her mistake. “Really,” she continued, when Donaldine still looked apologetic, “I was just startled, it’s totally fine.”
Elona hoped that was enough to reassure her, though only time would tell at this point.
“Anyways!” Elona clapped her hands and attempted to dispel the lingering awkwardness in the room. “When do you want the electronic polls out by?”
“Oh yes! Well,” Donaldine paused, thinking, “we want them in the streets soon enough that they can be used, so ideally sometime in the next few weeks.”
Elona grinned, “I’ll schedule a press conference.” She placed her hand affectionately on Donaldine’s shoulder, squeezing slightly. “Let’s blow ‘em!”
“It’s ‘blow them away’, Elona,” Donaldine laughed exasperatedly.
“I said what I said.” she looked up at Donaldine coyly, “how do you think I got so rich?”
Donaldine snorted, “I assumed it was mostly child labor and union suppression, like me.” She looked down in amusement. “Did you really?”
Elona winked, “rule number one babe, don’t kiss and tell.”
She cackled as Donaldine flushed and quickly turned away, filing the reaction away for later.
Elona turned towards the door, intending to go schedule the conference when a hand in hers stopped her. She turned back, a question on the tip of her tongue.
“Thank you, Elona,” Donaldine said softly, “really, I’m so lucky to have you here.”
Elona smiled and gently squeezed Donaldine’s hand before taking her leave.
Oh, if only Donaldine knew the effect she had on her.
---------------------
It was twelve minutes until it was announced who won, and Donaldine was jittery with nerves. As votes went in, there was a running tally of who was ahead, but this year it was neck-and-neck which made it impossible to tell until the official numbers were given.
The rigged ballot counters had been implemented in all the major cities, with special care taken to the swing states, of course. They needed the numbers to look natural enough that no one looked into it, which meant that they couldn’t be entirely certain Donaldine would pull through.
She and Elona were camped out in Donaldine’s living room as they waited for the final count to be released with the latter attempting to distract her with small talk.
“So did you really sleep with the Pornstar?”
Case in point.
“One of my oldest friends is Jessie Epstein what do you think?” She snapped out.
Elona raised her hands in mock surrender. “Calm down, I was just curious.”
Donaldine sighed, dragging her hand down her face. “Sorry, I’m just nervous, it’s not you.” She took a breath in an attempt to dispel her anxiety. “Yeah, I did. It was- well, admittedly pretty great.”
It had been her first time with a girl, and even though it got out that she cheated on her husband, it was worth it. It had opened a whole new door and, honestly, helped a lot of what she felt around Elona make more sense.
“Thanks for trying to distract me.” She cleared her throat in embarrassment, “even when I’m acting like a bitch.”
Elona smiled gently. “It’s fine, Donaldine, I get it.”
“Still,” Donaldine got up and began to pace in front of the couch, “I shouldn’t be taking it out on you.
Elona chuckled before freezing.
“Donaldine- Donaldine sit down, it’s happening!” She grabbed at Donaldine’s wrist, dragging her back to the couch.
Donaldine quickly reached for the remote, turning the audio up right in time.
“-nd the winner of the 2024 election is.... Donaldine Trump!”
“Oh my god you did it!” Elona cheered, immediately puling Donaldine into her arms. Donaldine's overbleached hair scratched against Elona’s face as Donaldine giggled in shock and delight.
“Oh my god I did it,” she breathed, “We did it. Elona, we did it! I’m gonna be the President of America!”
Donaldine almost couldn’t believe it. She’d run twice before, once against Clinton, and again against Biden, but lost both times. This was earth shattering. This was incredible news.
“I can finally fix the country!” She squeezed Elona joyfully, “I can build the wall- and invade Venezuela! God, and I always knew the Gulf of Mexico could be ours!”
Elona knocked her head playfully. “You mean the Gulf of America?”
Donaldine gasped. “That’s perfect. I’m using that. Oh! And I can finally boot the immigrants!” She glanced up from her spot on Elona’s chest. “You know I read on the internet that they’re eating people's dogs in Ohio.”
“What? No way!”
“I know, right? But SatireNews posted all about it on Facebook.” Donaldine loved keeping up with that account. They always posted things like how she would make an amazing president, and it was a wonderful ego boost every now and again.
It was when Donaldine rested her gaze from Elona’s face that she realized the compromising position she was in. Her face was practically buried in the younger woman's chest.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” Donaldine scrambled to remove herself. “I swear I didn’t mean to do that.”
Elona flushed and looked away. “It’s fine, I don’t mind all that much.”
Sitting back upright, Donaldine addressed her partner. “Really, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
Elona looked back, giving her a gentle smile. “You didn’t, I promise.” She got up from the couch and headed for the kitchen. “I’m going to grab some celebratory ice cream from the freezer. What flavor do you want?”
Donaldine perked up at that. “Do you have bubblegum-cherry?”
Elona chuckled and shook her head. "Only you, Donaldine, only you.”
---------------------
*Ring ring ring*
Elona looked up from her papers, the landline on her desk buzzing at her like a bitch. She sighed, putting her pen down and picking up the phone.
“Vice president Musk speaking.”
“Come'ere”
Elona paused. “Excuse me?”
A snort on the other line.
“Elona it’s me. Come here, I need to show you something.”
Elona smiled exasperatedly. “Donaldine, your office is right next door.”
“Oh, just get over here you old hag!”
“You’re twenty-five years older than me.”
*Click*
Elona shook her head, tidying her papers before getting up to walk down the hall. She stepped into Donaldine’s office, heels clicking sharply on the linoleum.
“All right, I’m here ‘o great one. What do you need?”
Donaldine looked up from her seat at the desk, excitedly waving Elona over.
“Come see! I just defunded Healthcare and Education!”
Elona gasped. “Donaldine! I’m so happy for you!”
Donaldine beamed. “Isn’t it wonderful? I tried to only revoke access for the minorities, but apparently that’s ‘Illegal’.” Her smile turned into a look of distaste.
Elona smiled down at her fondly. “Oh, I’m sure you’ll get them eventually.”
“Yeah, you’re right, I know,” Donaldine said, gazing up at her through lidded eyes. “You’re always right. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”
Elona’s breath caught in her throat at that, not expecting the sudden statement. Her eyes uncontrollably fell to Donaldine’s lips.
“Uh, yeah-” She forced her vocal cords to react. “-I don’t know where I’d be without you either.”
“Hey Elona,” Donaldine breathed out. She was standing now, when had that happened?
“Yeah?” Elona could hear her heart pounding in her ears.
“Can- Can I kiss you?” Donaldine was right in front of her now, her breath gently fanning across Elona’s face.
“Yeah, um- yes, I’d like that.” Elona felt Donaldine’s wrinkled hands cup her face and grabbed at Donaldine’s shoulders
Their lips met, nerves and excitement almost tangible in the air around them. Elona’s arms traveled from Donaldine’s shoulders to around her neck, and one of Donaldine’s hands tangled in Elona’s hair.
Elona stepped forward, backing Donaldine against the desk before pulling back a bit and resting her head on Donaldine’s shoulder.
“That was-”
“-Definitely better than the Pornstar.” Donaldine finished.
Elona laughed, shoulders shaking with amusement. “So, you did sleep with the Pornstar.”
Donaldine shoved her off gently, grinning. “I told you I did, didn’t I?”
Elona pushed back forward. “Yeah, yeah, I’m just messing with you.” She gave Donaldine a peck on the nose. “Well, you know what this means now, right?”
Donaldine giggled, confused. “What?”
(It means they bang in the oval office)
End