Chapter Text
"This is bullshit," Cartman yelled between chews of his chocolate bar, sprawled across the tiny bus seat, squeezing a poor kid that had the unfortunate luck of having to sit next to him. He turned towards his friends, sitting in their own seats across the aisle and behind him. The seat squeaked pathetically under the movement, the noise drowned out in the commotion and music inside the old vehicle. "I never agreed to go to some summer camp for sissies."
"Dude, it's over a week without school, you're only complaining 'cause you're running out of snacks already and we're not even halfway there," Stan chimed in from across the aisle.
Kyle, sitting next to him nodded, a chuckle leaving his lips, and his words earning a collective laugh "Bold of you to assume the fatass hasn't stuffed his suitcase with food instead of clothes."
"Ay! Shut up you fuckin' jew!" Cartman yelled, his face red, with either anger or embarrassment. He groaned something under his breath, turning back to the front of the bus, suddenly uninterested in talking to his friends.
"It's gonna be so fun, fellas!" Butters smiled, his expression one of a kid on Christmas who just got to open his gift. He was sat next to Kenny, behind Stan and Kyle. "Think about it— our last high school trip together."
"Well, when you say it like that..." Kyle reached down for his bag while saying, struggling to pull it out from between his long legs and the seat in front of him, too cramped and too leaned back for his liking. He should've switched seats with the fatass, he thought briefly, but then realized that he didn't have to do that to poor Stan. "I do leave for college once summer is over, probably not gonna see any of you until winter break."
Stan frowned, remembering that they were in fact no longer stupid kids still stuck in middle school. Kyle was leaving, so were Cartman and Butters. He still had time to figure stuff out, he hoped. He wasn't sure what about Kenny. He glanced back, noticing the boy stuck against the window, eyes closed and hair hidden by a hood. He figured he was somehow sleeping in the loud vehicle, blissfully oblivious to Cartman's groans.
You sat there, a couple of seats behind the obnoxious boys, their voices somehow finding a way to pass through your already far too loud mp3 player and annoy you. You tried to smush your headphone further into your ear, a futile attempt at drowning the noise with Avril Lavigne that was currently playing.
You sighed, going back to clutching the notebook you held in your hands, nails painted a chopped red and meaningless friendship bracelets hugging your wrists tightly. You opened the last page that you've scribbled on— creative writing assignment that got you on that bus in the first place.
Creative writing assignment, the title said in bold letters, under it a couple points scribbled hurriedly, probably to fit it there before the lesson ended. Assignment will be completed in groups of five—the first sub-point exclaimed proudly. You glanced at Wendy sitting next to you, leaning against the dirty window with her pink pillow and long asleep, it was her, you, Bebe, Tweek Tweak and Craig Tucker in your group, with the only two boys being forcefully dragged along by Wendy, promising them a "good grade". You thought it was better to be paired up with them than Scott Malkinson and Kevin Stoley anyways, in case you'd have to be put in cabins by groups instead of gender.
You sighed, closing the notebook and resting your head against the worn out headrest. The bus was far too small for a trip like this and you barely fit in the seat. The road was too bumpy for your liking, and the bathroom stop too far away to sit in place comfortably. You glanced at Wendy once more and envied her at how easily she was able to fall asleep. You closed your eyes, Britney Spears on your headphones lulling you and taking you away from this cruel world and disheveled bus, your breaths finally slowing down.
"GIVE ME BACK MY BEYBLADE KAHL!"
Your eyes shot open, an instant death glare focused on the front of the bus and a particularly fat kid, who was nearly falling from his seat as he outstretched his arm over the aisle.
"Nuh-uh, fatass!" rung out from somewhere near, a green hat peaking out from behind the seat as a long arm covered in a brown sweater extended as far as it could from the other boy, holding a piece of colorful plastic between his fingers.
"GIVE IT BACK, KAHL! YOU'RE GONNA BREAK IT! ITS THE LIMITED EDITION, SUPER RARE AND EXPENSIVE—"
"We all know its a fake dude," Stan laughed, pushing him back towards his seat.
"Yeah, and—" Kyle started, before an angry voice of the counselor walking towards them cut him off. He quickly threw the toy back, right into Butters' hands. "Catch!"
"Now, does anyone want to explain what's happening here to me?" The bus grew silent as the counselor Mackey stopped in front of them with his arms crossed. You took your earphones out, the scene suddenly too interesting to pass up. "Either talk or you all get detention, m'kay?"
"Mr. Mackey, I-I was just—" Butters started, short before he had the unfortunate luck of Cartman noticing the toy in his sweaty palms.
"Give it back!" he screamed, before launching at the poor boy, snatching the spinning toy from his hands. "Mr. Mackey! He stole my very rare beyblade, m'kay!"
"Very fake beyblade," Stan snorted under his nose, nudging Kyle with his arm.
"Dude." The redhead snickered at that, leaving Cartman angrier than ever before.
"M'kay, Butters, it seems that you have an issue with stealing?" The counselor asked, a little confused but still angry at the commotion they caused.
"Mr. Mackey, I was just sitting there, a-and—"
"A HUGE issue with stealing, Mr. Mackey!" Cartman shook his head, like a disappointed mother, scolding her child that pocketed a lollipop in a store because they didn't know better. "If i hadn't noticed in time, who knows what else he'd take, m'kay?"
"Mkay, a-are you mocking me, young man?" Mackey now turned to Eric, anger appearing back on his face. "Because if you are—"
"I would never Mr. Mackey, m'kay?" He left Stan and Kyle snickering, barely able to hold back in front of the counselor. "I'm just so, so disappointed in Butters! I didn't know this side to him existed!"
Butters, now close to tears looked at Cartman as if he just ruined his whole year, eyes as wide as ones of a lost puppy as Mackey turned back to him. "Now, young man, this time you'll only have to apologize and change seats, but I won't let it slide as easy the next time, m'kay?"
Butters nodded, a big frown on his face as he gathered his belongings, sniffing every now and then. He walked to the back of the bus, Mr. Mackey behind him as he guided him to a different seat. It seems that you looked at them too intensely, causing the man to stop in front of you.
"You'll sit next to Wendy," he said to Butters, calling your name out after, "—change seats, m'kay?"
"What?" You protested, flabbergasted at the thought of sitting so close to the people who annoyed you the most in the whole bus. "Are there like, no other empty seats?"
The counselor shook his head, nudging you to stand up faster as he lectured the boy who clearly wasn't even in fault, "Now, young man, I hope this gives you something to think about, m'kay? And I hope you learn from our top student Wendy."
It's not like Wendy's not even awake, you thought gathering your things, angry and annoyed about getting dragged into the whole situation. You shot Butters a nasty glare while standing up, putting your earphones back in on the way to the new seat.
You sat down, closing your eyes. Hoping for a moment of peace.
"Pst," you heard.
You only turned up the music, Beyoncé desperately trying to keep you away from conversation.
"I'm talking to you goddamnit!" Cartman yelled.
You groaned, opening your eyes and pulling one earphone out. "Yes?"
He snickered, stretching out from his seat to look at you. "Careful out there, Kinny might touch you."
Kenny, who sat next to you, now wide awake after the whole beyblade incident furrowed his eyebrows, mumbling some insult at the boy that only him and you could hear over the loud bus noise. You sighed, "I'll be fine, thanks."
Cartman just rolled his eyes, before giving up, declaring you no fun and going back to playing with his toy or whatever snack he managed to pull out of his bag first. There was a moment of peace, just you and your pop music, unbothered.
You even managed to doze off for a good while, surprising yourself as you woke up just a mere half an hour before your destination.
"Last stop before we get to camp," the driver said, opening the doors and letting fresh air inside. "Go pee or whatever."
You felt like praying to some higher power the second you stepped outside the bus. The air that for once didn't smell like teenage boy sweat and animal piss was a welcome distraction from how much your legs hurt from sitting on the tiny seat with springs poking your back for so long.
Wendy appeared next to you, smiling from ear to ear and clutching Bebe's arm. "Let's buy some snacks!" She cheered, making you notice the gas station you stopped at just now.
It was empty and withered, and if not the car of the employee that worked inside that was parked next to it you would've thought it was abandoned. You all stepped inside, the bell above the door chiming loudly, startling the man who was sitting behind the counter, nearly dozing off.
As Wendy and Bebe looked for any snacks that didn't have an expiry date that started with nineteen, you eyed the worker. Red, worn out hat covering his bald head, stained undershirt that did a terrible job at covering his perky tits and beer belly, and a concerning smile hiding under his mustache as he watched the three of you walking between the aisles. You had a bad feeling about the man immediately, the girls too distracted with laughing at how ancient all the snacks were.
"What even are bonkers?" Wendy laughed. "All of this stuff is from like '87."
"Bonkers, you eat one and it knocks you out for a week," Bebe joked, chewing a piece of gum. Then, she added, quieter, pointing at the guy behind the counter, "Creepy dude, looks like he's stuck in the 90s."
Wendy giggled, finally finding a bag of chips and some jelly beans that weren't expired. You grabbed a bottle of diet cola and a chocolate bar for yourself, heading towards the counter.
The man started ringing you up, the creepy smile never leaving his face as his eyes followed yours so intensely. "You girls are out here alone?" He spoke up, his voice deep and nasal, unpleasant on the ears. Everything about this man yelled 'Creep!'.
Bebe popped a balloon with her bubblegum, hand on hip and eyebrow raising at the man. "You a pedo or something?"
He grumbled something under his breath, eyes darkening, before he heard the bell chime again. More teenagers filled the small space, with the counselor behind them. "Make it quick, m'kay? The toilet is outside if anyone hasn't gone already."
"Your total's $6.56," the man gruntled, opening the cash register, the bootleg-friendly smile gone from his face.
"Greedy creep," Bebe mumbled, loud enough for only you and Wendy to pick up, before paying for the whole thing. You thanked her for covering, pocketing the chocolate bar and grabbing the cola.
After a painstakingly long wait to use the bathroom, you all sat on the curb outside, waiting for the driver to call you all back to the bus. You sipped on your coke, watching the driver smoke a cigarette.
"You think he'd give me one if I asked nicely?" you groaned, before taking a sip.
Bebe, who was midway through checking out her hot pink painted nails for any cracks laughed, "You'd probably have to flash your boobs. Looks like the type."
Wendy nudged her with her elbow, "Don't encourage her." You laughed, seriously considering the option for a brief moment.
The three of you looked up as Stan Marsh walked towards you. He looked at Wendy. "Um, hi, can we talk?"
"She dumped you during sophomore year, Stan," Bebe rolled her eyes, going back to checking her nails, unamused.
He frowned, shaking his head, "I just wanted to—"
At that, Wendy stopped him, "You want to check up on me every second of the week. You still like me, I get it, Stan, but come on."
He sighed, before walking away, hands in pockets and head low, looking like a kicked puppy. You clapped briefly, smiling at her. "Way to go, Wendy. Do that a hundred more times and maybe he'll finally leave you alone."
"A hundred? More like start asking to get back together every week instead of everyday," Bebe made fun of him, a smirk playing on her lips.
"Come on, I think it's kind of sweet..." Wendy dreamed out, cupping her face as she stared at Stan walking off. "Maybe I'll agree to talk one day."
"We're losing her," the curly blonde whispered to you, and you just laughed, knowing well that Wendy still liked him. She then turned back to Wendy, "Tolkiens rich, remember? Stay focused."
The black haired girl sighed, knowing well that Tolkien was a better choice for her. Rich parents, handsome, and treated her well—unlike Stan. It's not like they were dating or anything, but Wendy knew well that Tolkien had liked her for a while now, a good option if she learned how to finally let go of her ex.
"You know what, girls? It's whatever, I dont want Stan anymore." Wendy shook her head, as if to make her words sound more serious.
"Good for you," Bebe reassured, knowing well enough that she was repeating that for the last two years with no truth behind those words.
Finally, as you reached the end of your coke bottle, synching with the miserable driver finishing his third cigarette in a row (which you thought you should've shown him your boobs for when you had the chance), the counselor called everyone back to the bus.
You waited as Kenny entered first, giving you a small smile for waiting so he could sit comfortably, following close behind him. You couldn't wait for the drive to be over, your head longed to finally rest from all the noise.
Reaching for your mp3 was futile, you barely got the chance to touch the pocket in your jeans before the boy next to you started talking. "What did Wendy say to Stan?" he half-whispered, making sure the boy on the seat in front of you couldn't hear.
You glanced at him, pulling the chocolate bar out instead. "The usual, why?"
He shrugged, nonchalance finding its way back to his demeanor. "He never tells."
"Uh-huh." You looked at the bar, just now noticing the expiration date; half of it was scratched off, the other showed '99. Great. You either held ancient candy from the last decade or one that'd still be edible when cars were flying. Either way, it's seen your middle school days, and you shivered at the thought.
As you wanted to stuff it back into your pocket Cartmans head whipped around hearing the wrapper crinkle. He smiled at you sweetly, eyelashes fluttering, your name sugary on the tongue.
You pulled the bar back out, rolling your eyes. You didn't hesitate to throw the expired chocolate right into his sweaty grip. "Help yourself."
"Sweet," he mumbled, immediately turning back and stuffing his face. You cringed at the sight, but a small part of you wanted to laugh.
"Wasn't it expired?" Kenny chimed in from next to you.
"You think why I just gave it to him?" You answered, earning a small chuckle.
———
"Everyone hurry up, m'kay?" Mr Mackey hurried, standing at the front of the bus with a basket, collecting any technology before letting the teenagers spill out from the bus, grateful for the four hour drive that seemed to stretch out forever since the early morning finally ended. You stretched your arms out above your head, unhappy about having to give up your mp3 and a flip phone, looking around the place.
The bus stopped on a dirt road in front of a campsite. Wooden fence stretched on forever, the entrance made from logs with "Pinecrest Camp" engraved. They were old and worn, shielding what looked like cabins made out of the same wood, probably pine as one could guess.
The woods seemed to stretch out forever, following you here from all the way in South Park, trees growing tall, like their whole purpose was to obstruct the bright sky and trap you here. You shivered, knowing that for the next ten days you all will be stranded here, without any contact with the outside world.
Ten days with so, so many annoying guys, you then thought. You guessed that maybe having Wendy and Bebe here would at least make it any more bearable.
The group moved, entering the camp with their bags and occasional suitcases. A group of young adults appeared out of nowhere, their voices far too cheerful.
"Welcome to Camp Pinecrest!" the first, a man that couldn't be older than twenty-two dressed in a red flannel tucked nicely inside bright baggy jeans, clearly behind on the latest fashion. His blonde hair was neatly combed, and his voice was suspiciously cheerful for someone who was here probably unpaid, "I'm Jake, and I'll be your camp director and the counselor for the time being."
He pointed to a girl not much younger than himself in a simple tank top and baggy jeans, her brown hair high up in a ponytail. "That's Amanda, your counselor and wildlife expert. Also your only contact to the outside world—seek her if help is needed!"
Then, he pointed towards a guy that looked the youngest, dressed in all camo, arms crossed on his chest and dark hair buzzed short. The man nodded. "That's Chad—he'll be monitoring your activities and help with any injuries you might get in those woods."
Last one was an older woman, grumpy and dressed in dark green clothes and a stained apron, with hair short and half gray. "Your kitchen staff, Olga, she'll be cooking for you! Remember to say thank you!"
"Great, old woman cooking, it's either gonna be the best food we've ever tasted or slop," Cartman whispered to Butters who stood next to him, long forgiven the beyblade incident. He just nodded in agreement, a small smile on his face.
"Now," Jake clapped clapped to get back everybody's attention, "We'll go over the rules as i guide you around the campsite. The first and the most important rule is that you're not allowed to leave the campsite grounds without permission, let alone explore the woods."
A couple kids groaned, Cartman included. In his head, he was already planning a prank to pull on Butters, but how can he pull that off if they're gonna be babied so much?
The group started walking as Jake continued his monologue, "This are the main grounds. As you can see heres a space for a fire, nice and far away from the trees. You're not allowed to use it without permission, but don't you worry; every evening we'll light it up so you can enjoy it!"
"Nice," Stan nodded to Kyle, enthusiastic about the campfire.
"Your cabins are also here, but we'll proceed with that later," Jake continued, guiding the group deeper into the paths. "On your left are the toilets and showers; you're allowed to use the toilet any time you want, but shower use is strictly forbidden after ten pm to six am and during activities. Just a warning, the showers have only cold water. further down the path is the cafeteria—"
You turned to Bebe as he continued explaining, a groan leaving your mouth, "Cold water only? They want us to kill ourselves out here or what?"
She shrugged in reply, "I heard it's good for the hair. It can't be that bad."
"It's a tragedy, Bebe." You shook your head. You were sure she would understand. You stopped listening to Jake after he'd explained the necessities. You knew where the bathroom and the cafeteria were, that you couldn't leave and you were stranded god knows out where without even your stupid mp3, and would probably have to eat slop for dinner every day.
Finally, you reached the cabins again. Jake pulled you back from your thoughts. "Now, you'll be sorted by groups, I was informed you were paired up already, so I'll just be reading which cabin is who's! Please wave as you're called so we can remember your names."
"Cabin one is Clyde, Tolkien, Scott, Jimmy and Kevin," Amanda read out, all of the camp staff nodding as the boys waved at them. Jake went with them to show them their cabin, mumbling something to Jimmy about poor accessibility. She continued, "Cabin two is Red, Annie, Heidi, Nelly and Nicole."
Chad went with the girls to show them where they stayed, giggled escaping their lips at the attention from the handsome male-nurse.
"Cabin three is Wendy, Bebe, Cra—"
A commotion behind you grabbed your attention, making Amanda stop reading. You heard Cartman, again. Of course.
"Stop, Butters!" he whined, trying to push the boy away. You saw something clutched tightly in his hand, the blonde trying to get it back. "Seriously, if you don't stop!—"
"What is it about now, boys?" Mr Mackey walked up to them, pulling them apart. "Leopold, I thought I told you to stop being a bully, m'kay?"
"B-But Mr. Mackey, he stole the candy from my bag!" Butters cried out, shaking his head.
"I've had enough of you, young man! You absolutely won't be in one group with Eric!"
Butters tried to protest, but Mackey was long gone, appearing next to Amanda and scratching something out in her notes with a pen. The woman looked at him surprised. She whisper-shouted, "Are you sure, Mr Mackey? I don't know if this is a good idea to—"
He waved his hand. "She'll be a good influence, m'kay."
The woman just nodded, going back to reading the names out loud, "Well, as uh, as I was saying, cabin three will consist of Wendy, Bebe, Tweek, Craig and Leopold."
"Yesss, it's gonna be so fun!" Bebe squealed, grabbing your arm. Then, it hit her, "Wait, Butters?"
"Wait, me?" Butters chimed in from behind you.
You blinked at Bebe and Wendy, confused. You were supposed to work together? Why is Butters in your place?
Olga dragged your best friends away, the only ones still left near the fire pit were the only two adults, you, and the most annoying guys you've ever had a chance to meet.
"Cabin four, obviously, will be Stan, Kyle, Eric, Kenny, and—" before she had a chance to say your name, you protested.
"Why do I have to be with them? I was supposed to work with someone else!"
"Well," she shook her head, looking at Mackey for help before shrugging, "last minute changes?"
"I believe you will be good influence on the boys, m'kay?" Mackey chimed in, helping Amanda to not look like the villain here.
You groaned, knowing that protesting was futile, but still—you wished you weren't doomed from the start.
"I'll show you your cabin now," Amanda called out, waiting as all of you grabbed your bags before walking towards the hut farthest away from the campfire. At least you were close to the bathrooms.
The cabin itself wasn't big, three bunk beds squished in the small space, and a small table by the window. There wasn't much to be happy about. The walls were stained and had carved out initials and various cocks on them, and you were sure that if it rained, the roof wouldn't do much against the water.
You sighed, immediately taking the bed closest to the exit, an attempt at saving yourself if any of the boys decided to fart in such a small place. Cartman took bottom bed furthest in the corner, Kyle the one above him so both him and Stan could be on top. Kenny took the bottom bed closest to you.
"At least the fatass didn't want the top bed," you heard Stan joke, making Kyle laugh. "Probably would end up breaking it and crushing someone."
"AY!" Cartman heard, much to your dismay. You really wished you had better luck today.
Amanda coughed into her hand, reminding the boys about her existence. "Now, dinners in around half an hour, take the time to get settled."
"Thank you SO much Mrs. Counselor," Cartman said sweetly. Then, she left, and he quietly added, "Bitch."
"So," Cartman started again, now eyeing you like some cake behind the glass display. "Do not think we'll go easy on you just because you're a girl."
You rolled your eyes, missing your mp3 not the first and definitely not the last time since you arrived. This whole camp is going to be a pain.