Work Text:
Ze was laying down on the couch, as he was attempting at a nice peaceful rest. The house was quiet, a surprising idea given the people he shares it with, but he sure as hell won't question it. The least he wanted was for that to change.
He closed his eyes, relaxing his body as he felt himself slowly drift off into dream land rather quickly, until-
"FUUUUUUCK!"
Great
Just great.
He opened his eyes, annoyed expression already visible on his face. Fuck him for even thinking that the house could be peaceful for one day.
Ze didn't want to, but eventually got up from his comfortable position, sparing one last glance at the couch that almost seemed to call out his name. He swore it did and at this point it probably was. With the amount of shit that goes on in this world, the least of his worries would be that he was leaning on a couch that could talk. That or he has genuinely lost the plot. Maybe both.
Making his way to the source of the noise, not fazed enough for him to quicken his pace, he eventually finds himself sitting behind a very pissed off entity. Yup that's definitely Regect. That voice couldn't come from any other asshole besides the one and only.
"What could you possibly be mad about now? Did you- did you gamble all our money again or what the hell happened?"
"I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF VERY IMPORTANT BUSINESS AND THE WIFI JUST- JUST DECIDES TO CUT OFF!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO MY THING NOW DUDE THIS SUCKS" Regect was yelling his ass off, clearly annoyed about the sudden lack of internet. Whatever the hell he was doing Ze had no clue, but he somewhat agreed with him on that one; having no wifi sucked. What he also agreed with was that he didn't want to hear him keep yelling about it.
"I couldn't care less about what you were doing man, could you just like- keep it down? There's other people in this house you know?"
"Dude, you don't understand. I was in the middle of something VERY important, then it gets taken away! Just like that! Not even a warning or- or like- like anything!"
"Yeah I mean, it does that, no idea where you're trying to get at but whatever"
Regect turned to look at him, only visible eye changing expression to a more bored one, as he began mocking Ze while making quotation marks with his hands and raising his voice for "effect".
"Right, yeah whatever dude. I would've loved some support from you, some words of encouragement like "I'm so sorry for you!!" or "That must be so hard for you!!" or something but fuck me I guess."
Ze wasn't even surprised at this point, this jackass always did this so it wasn't news. He leaned his body on the nearest wall while crossing his arms, a yawn escaping him as he was still tired. Honestly even if Regect was gambling, he doesn't have the energy to deal with it. The tax collectors can kiss his ass if they end up broke again.
Regect knew he was still in the room, but paid no mind as he kept himself focused on trying everything he could to make the wifi come back. Or to get the slightest bit of signal, anything.
No luck.
He slumped back into the chair with a sigh and a "fuck this". Whatever he was trying to do was long futile so he resorted to just sulking in his spot.
Ze, having watched the entirety of his struggles, asked "You done now?"
"Shut up man. It's already ruined and I blame you for it". Regect said, crossing his arms and turning his head away as if offended.
"ME?? HOW?? I WAS LITERALLY JUST LAYING ON THE COUCH"
"I DON'T KNOW, YOU PROBABLY HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT OR- OR THE COUCH REACTED TO YOUR WEIGHT OR SOMETHING"
"ARE YOU- DUDE YOU MADE THE HOUSE."
"YOU BOUGHT THE FURNITURE"
"DON'T ACT LIKE YOU WEREN'T THE ONE TO SEND ME TO THAT IKEA"
"NUH UH, I LITERALLY TOLD YOU NOT TO GO IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU DIDN'T LISTEN"
"YOU-"
Ze was about to retort, however he just exhaled and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to calm down knowing he wasn't gonna get anywhere with this. Instead, he decided to switch the topic for the sake of the both of them. Mostly his own.
"What could you have possibly even be doing that got you waking the whole house up in the first place?"
"It's just you, me and Moe living here"
"JUST ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION"
"OKAY OKAY! I MIGHT have been uh- might have been gambling again; it was on a different site thou-"
The door slammed shut before he could even finish. No. Nope. Ze was NOT having this bullshit. He walked back to the couch, not even bothering to go up to his room and laid back down, all while leaving Regect alone with a wifi-less computer and the ghost of a jackpot. Where the hell did he even get more money from?? the entity never brought up anything about getting it back or anything.
As he once again tried closing his eyes to rest, he could hear shuffling around him. He let out a groan, but made no move or attempt to open his eyes. All he wanted was to just sleep.
Ze couldn't hear anything for a good minute, so he let his drowsiness take over him. Until he felt something literally jump on him.
His eyes shot up, wide, as he tried to and immediately identified the source. Oh my god.
"DUDE??? WHAT THE HELL?? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!? WHY DID YOU JUST-"
"Whaaat? I just lost us the biggest jackpot known to man and entity kind, can one not drown in the loss on the couch anymore? damn"
"I WAS HERE FIRST ASSHOLE"
"L deal with it"
Next thing he knew, he was shoved off and onto the floor, whining as he usually does.
"That's what you get. Fuckin'- fucking chud.."
Regect was still sobbing onto the floor, talking about possibly having broken a rib or something. MAYBE he put too much force into that shove. Just maybe.
After seconds of silence (with Regect whines for ambience) have passed, sighing as he finally caved, not wanting to hear the other for longer than he had to.
"Just- just shut up and get over here. I'm too tired to give a shit anymore." And as if on cue, Regect immediately gets on his feet and once again jumps back to his original spot as if nothing had happened. God he was gonna hate himself later for entertaining this idea.
"Haha, knew it! You could never resist my awesome and amazing charm. Haha who's the loser now? Not me! Maybe someone who's name starts with Z and ends with e!"
"If you don't shut the hell up I'm actually gonna make sure you break a rib this time. Also that was incredibly cringe"
"You just don't understand great humor like I do! Idiot"
"yeah yeah, w'ever you say man.." Ze slurred out his last retort at the entity, as he allowed himself to finally pass out without any interruptions. Regect watched as he could feel his chest slowly rise and fall to a steady rhythm, and he couldn't help but let out a hum as he tried to join the other in sleep. Hard task to do when you're an entity that doesn't require that in the first place, so he instead opted to just closing his only visible eye and sometimes sparing glances at the other to make sure he was still asleep. Would this be considered stalking?
Probably.
Oh well, who cares? Not him that's for sure.