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Summary
Of course he wanted Shane to be able to explore himself. He didn't want Shane to wake up in ten years and suddenly regret the life they built together. Not when Ilya was so far deep into this already. Not when the thought of living a Shane-less life feels like an agonizing death.
So he wanted Shane to be sure. Needed him to be. He never had the opportunity to explore his sexuality with anyone other than Ilya. And maybe it was the sad part of Ilya that was always quietly nagging at the back of his mind that he wasn't good enough.
That one day Shane would see. He'd find someone better. Someone it could be easier with. Someone he didn't have to hide.
He snatches the phone back in his hand, shaking the thoughts away because he knows Shane would be upset with him for even thinking them.
Call me please moya lyubov
**
Or the time Ilya suggested Shane sleep with other men while they were away from each other and Shane stopped talking to him for four days.