Chapter Text
The bay window opposite your bed is particularly beautiful this time of year. It faces the palace courtyard, and, in the summer, it displays a heavily planted garden with a fountain centerpiece. The village children are playing happily, running and laughing down the cobblestone streets. As you watch them, it sends a pang of longing to your heart.
You sigh, shaking your head. Such fantasies could not be indulged in, especially considering the distant relationship you had with your husband. Kento had been gone for almost a month now, caught up in overseas meetings with foreign dignitaries and negotiating trade deals. You truly hadn’t expected to miss his presence, but even now you pulled out his last letter that had been delivered last week.
My dear wife,
I write to you with the much-anticipated news that the council is projected to be finished tomorrow and I will arrive back home within a few days. It’s been a long journey, and I am looking forward to being within my own palace walls.
I trust that you have been keeping up with the maintenance of ruling while I’ve been gone. I know that the advisors have surely been nagging and doubtful of your talents, but I have full faith in you.
See you shortly.
Yours truly,
Kento
Rubbing a thumb over his signature only intensified the ache in your heart. Soon, perhaps today, your husband will return. Despite yourself, you felt excitement well within you. You held no ill will towards your husband, only a deep desperation for him to at least be your friend.
As a child, you had dreamt of a knight in shining armor to whisk you off your feet and as the daughter of a Duke, it wasn’t outside the realm of possibility. When you had been betrothed to the then Prine Kento, it had felt like a dream. All of that had come crashing down quickly after the wedding.
Kento was a kind, gentle man, but he was distant. You had fallen in love with his intelligence and generosity, but it certainly seemed that the feeling was not mutual. His hand only rested on your waist or held your hand during official events. Each morning, when you entered the shared private room between your bed chambers, he kissed your hand and greeted you warmly.
That being said, he also kissed his mare’s nose when she managed not to bite someone that day, so you knew it didn’t mean much.
The loud ringing of bells from the nearby church startles you from your thoughts. After a quick turn-round to view the grandfather clock in the corner, you confirmed it wasn’t noon yet. They would only ring at this time to announce one thing.
You spring up from your seat, smoothing your emerald skirts and adjusting the chain belt around your cinched waist. The bells continue to toll, this time accompanied by the sounds of soldiers shouting to loved ones and the clopping of horse hooves. Running across your room, you quickly pin a sheer veil to the crown of your head and place the gold circlet around your forehead.
“Yuji!” You shout for the eager young guardsman that Kento had assigned to you. Despite the boy’s lack of experience, Kento assured you that the boy would not hesitate to protect another.
The pink-haired teenager yielding a spear quickly responds to your call, pushing the heavy wooden door open to peek through.
“Yes, your majesty? Do you wish to be escorted somewhere?” He asks with that eager smile present on his face as usual.
“Yes, child.” You say, huffing a laugh at the goofy expression on Yuji’s face. “Please, take me down to the courtyard. I wish to greet His Majesty as he arrives.”
Yuji Itadori, ever the dutiful guard, escorts you down several spiraling staircases and through the throne room and long hallways leading to the courtyard. When you arrive, Kento has already left his carriage, handing his cape to a nearby footman. You can see even from here that his polite expression is strained as he shakes hands and converses with the advisors and council members that are eager for an update.
Kento’s warm, honey-brown eyes meet yours through the crowd, relief flooding his face. You wish that relief was from genuine love, but that small, insecure part of you refuses to truly believe it. He is simply looking for an excuse to leave the crowd. Nevertheless, you plaster a smile on your face (partially genuine and partially fake) and wade through the crowd to meet your husband.
“My dear.” Kento sighs in relief, taking your hands in his. “I am glad to see you well.”
“I managed to survive being in charge, surprisingly.” You huff, letting him kiss both your hands in succession. The advisors had been quite offended by Kento’s decision to let a woman run the country while he was away, even if that woman was the queen. The whole lot of grumpy old men had not stopped whining to be given governmental power the entire time you reigned. Your eye twitches just thinking of it.
“Not surprising.” Kento shakes his head, blond locks falling to cover his temples. “I knew you would do a good job. In fact, under your direction, I’m fairly certain the flowers have bloomed larger while I was gone.”
You let out a derisive snort. It was rare that Kento made a joke, even more rare when it was a compliment directed towards you. It seems he’s truly grateful to be home.
“You jest.” You murmur, letting him lead you back toward the palace entrance, nodding to the guards as you go. “Though I do appreciate the compliment. I-I enjoyed the letters you sent.” You add the last part after a moment of hesitation.
His expression softens. “I’m glad you did.”
…
The formal dinner we had later that day was both delicious and exhausting. The Advisors, Council Members, and plethora of high-brow guests were loud and far too nosy for your taste. Having to dodge dozens of questions about when a royal baby will be due is incredibly awkward and causes Kento to choke on his wine every time the subject is brought up.
After one particularly brazen guest inquires about your sex life, you’re just about to give up on the dinner and head back to your chambers. You shake your head, downing the rest of your wine.
“Ridiculous.” You mutter. “You’d think that nobles would at least have a bit more tact.”
“You would think so, yes.” Kento sighs, his face is still flushed a light pink from embarrassment of the subject being brought up. To be fair, considering the fact you’d been wed for nearly a year now and a royal heir wasn’t on the way…it was suspicious to an outsider to say the least.
Its not as if you and your husband’s sex life was completely barren, but…well, it certainly wasn’t plentiful either. Being royalty was a surprising amount of work, even if your role had less stress associated with it. Even on the days when both of you could hypothetically have enough energy or time to consummate, the awkwardness between the two of you prevented anything from happening most of the time.
Occasionally, perhaps once a month or so, Kento manages to build up enough confidence to ask his wife for marital relations. Even then it’s a stiff and awkward affair, filled with at most a lack of eye contact and a stifled groan.
You wonder sometimes why he hesitates so frequently. You know he does not visit the various courtesans that live in the capital, so it cannot be that he is fulfilling that need through other women. A more insecure part of yourself thinks it must be a lack of attraction to you. Perhaps he simply asks for access to your body out of pity, wanting you to at least think you are wanted. You shake your head, freeing yourself from those thoughts. You’re getting tipsy it seems.
“Are you alright?” Kento asks, a hint of concern in his voice. He waves off a servant who extends a tray of bread rolls to him.
“Yes.” You respond quickly. There is no way you would divulge those thoughts to your husband, especially not in public. It was mortifying enough to even have those thoughts to begin with. “I’m perfectly fine. Though the wine is a bit strong tonight. I may retire to my chambers early.”
A flicker of disappointment colors Kento’s face for just a moment. “I see. You should get your rest. I’d hate for you to fall asleep at the table.”
“Indeed. I’m sure that would be the talk of the town for at least a month.” You say dryly. If there’s anything you learned growing up a noble, it’s that if there’s a chance to gossip, someone will take it. You stand up from your seat beside Kento, curtsying just enough to be polite. “I shall see you in the morning then, your majesty.”
“Good night, my dear.” His voice almost seems melancholy, but whatever for is beyond you. Perhaps he is not looking forward to facing the wolves alone.
Even as you leave the formal dining room, you can feel his eyes on you.