Chapter Text
“I think you need to hear this too. Everyone does.”
Shit.
When Mike came into the lobby of the Squawk, he wasn’t expecting to see his best friend looking at him, eyes rimmed red with tears. Will’s nostrils flared with every exhale, keeping his breathing steady, keeping a calm front, like he always does. Looking at him, though, Mike could see the fear coursing through his body. He could see the way his fingers twitched and chin trembled. He could see the downturn of his lips, his frown growing with every word he spoke. Whatever this was, it was big.
Shit.
Mike barged outside, eyes scanning the grass field and dirt road in front of him. Most everyone kept themselves busy readying for the upcoming battle, scattered silently around vehicles and weaponry. A truck was driving up the road in the distance. Hopper was here. Everyone was here.
Once Hopper got out of the truck, the once heavy silence lifted from the air and was instead replaced with solemn chatter. No one seemed excited per se, but needed to talk about anything but the circumstances they were in. Their collective jitters to just get this shit over with was overwhelming the group, unaddressed anxieties weighing on the shoulders of every member of the messy conglomerate of people. Anything to get their minds off it helped, so their silence turned to whispers, turned to conversations and arguments alike.
Mike looked around. Everyone was here. Will needed everyone.
“Guys.” Mike sternly said to no one in particular. No one heard over their own exchanges, completely ignoring the curly haired boy standing on the stoop in front of them.
“Guys!” Mike tried again loudly. Again, no response. He looked at each person individually, trying to persuade attention to anyone who would engage. His attempts were noticed only by Hopper, who grumbled and sighed under his breath, rolling his eyes and shaking his head seeing the pathetic attempt at attention-garnering he was witnessing.
“Listen up!” Hopper yelled, turning his head to the side to look at the now talkative group. Everyone’s head snapped up and looked at the man, who simply nodded at Mike, a small, unwilling grin of acknowledgement tugging at his pursed lips. Mike returned the gesture, then quickly looked around at the others determinedly.
“Will has to talk to us.” Mike said simply. To this, everyone stared dumbfounded at him. Nobody moved. There was a new silence over the group, mostly out of confusion this time, with nothing but a few scattered sniffles from the nip of the fall air. “Will has to talk to us now.” Mike added, getting impatient with the group.
Jonathan was the only one to speak up. “Is it him? Is it Vecna?” he queried.
Mike thought about this for a long moment, bringing his lips into a tight line and looking down at the step of concrete beneath his feet. “I- I don’t know. But it has to be something. So let’s go, now.” With that, he turned on his heel and walked through the door to the WSQK building. The rest of the group trickled in behind him, all finding comfortable spots to sit or lean, all facing the tired looking boy on the couch, hands still trembling with nerves. No one noticed this except Mike, though, who kept a slight distance, sitting on the opposite side of Joyce.
Whatever this is, it’s important.
Will pulled the sleeves of his hoodie over his hands as he began talking.
“I…” He paused, as if speech was painful. As if his throat was made of sandpaper and every word he spoke dragged along the harsh grain, bleeding its way out of his mouth. “I- I haven’t told any of you this… because I don’t want you to see me differently.” Will stuttered through his words, stumbling awkwardly at each point in his sentence.
Whatever this is, it’s important.
“But the truth is… I am.”
What?
“I am different.”
Mike looked down at his hands, struggling to watch his best friend rocking back and forth on the couch. Will looked down at his hands, too, seemingly avoiding the look of concern on everyone’s faces.
“I just pretended like I wasn’t because I didn’t want to be.” Will continued. “I wanted to be like everyone else.” Mike looked back up, ready to argue his point. Ready to tell him that ‘being like everyone else’ is overrated. That they were all different. He felt something more coming to what Will was saying, so Mike kept his silence this once.
“I wanted to be like my friends, and–I am like you.” Will looked up at Mike, Lucas, and Dustin at this, all of their faces showing small smiles, each exhaling a short, quiet breath out their nose, like an unformed laugh. “I am like you in almost every way. We- we like playing D&D late into the night.” Mike smiled harder at this, the memories of the four boys laughing and joking around flashed through his mind. “And we like that old person smell in Mike’s basement.”
Rude.
“And we like getting lost in the woods–and getting lost at Family Video and arguing over what to rent and settling on ‘Holy Grail’ for the millionth time and-” Will continued rambling, listing off anything and everything he could think up. Mike just watched him with a small smile plastered at the upturned corner of his mouth. He watched Will ramble the way he always does when he’s nervous. He watches how his cheeks start to flush pink and the tears that were barely noticeable around the rim of his eyes start growing in size, filling up, up through his bloodshot irises ready to fall at any moment. He watches how the sunlight washing through the window perfectly highlights this, the flecks in his hazel eyes shining beneath the welling tears. He hears how Will’s voice grows more and more unsteady as he continues his rambling, saliva catching up to the front of his mouth stringing between his pink lips with every wobble in his voice.
“I- I just-” Will begins to slow down. He barely keeps his composure as he tries to string together the right words. With this, Mike’s mind races with what’s about to be said. Jonathan’s question from earlier pops into mind.
Is it him? Is it Vecna?
Mike knows how anxious Will has been since coming back to Hawkins. He especially knows how his unsevered connection to Vecna has put Will close to death too many times. The boy was brave, and Mike was in awe of it. The amount of shit that he’s been through yet he still doesn’t hesitate to help in any way he can. Maybe this was it, maybe this was the time he wasn’t ready to fight. It was the last fight, but hell if Will wasn’t ready, Mike was ready to fight everyone trying to make-
“I don’t like girls.”
Oh.
Oh.
Shit.
When Will said ‘everyone needs to hear this…’ he didn’t mean… everyone, did he?
Mike takes a deep breath in the pause following Will’s words.
“I mean- I do. Just not like you guys do.” Will breathes out shakily. He trembles as his eyes drift to Mike. “And I… I had this crush on someone, even though I know- I know they’re not like me.”
The eye contact between the two boys never broke. Mike felt heat rising up his neck as realization and understanding struck him like lightning to a radio tower. He was the crush. He was the one Will needed to confront his feelings for. He was the reason his best friend was breaking down. And he was devastated.
As Will kept talking, Mike zoned out, his mind flooded with memories of the two boys. What did they all mean now that Will liked him?
“Hey, well, if we’re both going crazy, we’ll go crazy together, right?”
“Yeah, crazy together.”
…
“Now I remember. I remember all the time.”
“Maybe- maybe that’s good”
“Good?”
“Think about it Will–you’re like a spy now–a super spy. Spying on the shadow monster. You know what he’s seeing and feeling.” Mike continued. “Maybe that’s how we stop him. Maybe all this is happening for a reason.”
“Do you really think so?”
“Yeah, yeah I really do.”
…
“What if he figures out we’re spying on him? What if he spies back?”
“He won’t.” At that moment, Mike placed his hand on top of Will’s, wrapping his fingers around Will’s knuckles and squeezing lightly. “We won’t let him.”
…
“Do you know who that is?” The doctor asked.
“That’s my friend.” Will started, “That’s Mike.”
He was still in there somewhere.
…
“Just forget it Mike.”
“No- you wanna keep playing right?” Mike looked to Lucas.
“Yeah, totally!” Lucas interjected, looking between the boys.
“We’ll just call the girls afterward-”
“I said forget it Mike, okay!” Will yelled in response. Will never raises his voice, especially not at Mike. He rushed up the stairs, out of the basement, out of the Wheeler house.
…
“You’re destroying everything and for what–so you can swap spit with some stupid girl?”
“El’s not stupid! It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!” As soon as the words came out of his mouth, Mike regretted them. He saw the pain flash through Will’s eyes. Not just pain, but fear. Betrayal.
Shit.
Mike came back to reality, just as Will started to really break down.
“And for the rest of us, we just drift apart more, and more, and more until I’m alone.” Will looked back to Mike, who swallowed the lump he felt forming in his throat. He wasn’t sure he was breathing anymore. He wasn’t sure Will was breathing, either. Was this really what Will believed? Did he worry about this before Vecna showed it to him? “It just felt so real…” Will kept repeating that phrase until he couldn’t, his voice breaking and being overtaken by caught sobs. Mike couldn’t stand watching this. He felt paralyzed in his seat, unsure of how to react. How was he reacting? He couldn’t sort through his thoughts or pin-point any feelings other than the dread and sickness bubbling in his stomach. His best friend was sobbing and he couldn’t do anything about it. His best friend was sobbing because of him. And he was devastated.
“You could never lose me” Joyce’s voice cut through Mike’s thoughts. Will was gasping for air as he nodded at his mother. Mike took a slow, deep breath to keep himself from crying too. What do you do when your best friend is in love with you? How can you respond?
“And you’ll never lose me.” Jonathan concurred, getting up to hug his brother. At this point, both of the Byers sons were crying, but Jonathan’s tears were different. They weren’t from fear as Will’s were, but instead from love and pride.
Jonathan already knew.
Mike didn’t know how, but Jonathan already knew. Is that why he was so weird in California? Why both of them were weird?
“Maybe we just stay at home today.” Will said at the empty breakfast table. At this, all Mike could do was stand up and leave with his plates.
…
“More weed? Is that really a good idea right now?” Will questioned Jonathan.
“What, you have a better idea to keep him calm right now?” Jonathan's voice faded in Mike’s mind as he contemplated what Argyle said. Was he right? Obviously, they should not go to the cops about this. But was Mike putting them in danger? Was it his fault? He could’ve gone with El if only he could have said-
Mike looked up from where he was staring to see Will looking right at him, pity oozing through his stare. All he could do was keep covering the shallow grave, not having the strength to concern Will with his worries. Not having the strength to show Will his feelings.
…
“Sometimes I think it’s just scary to open up like that. To say how you really feel. Especially to people you care about the most.” Mike nodded in response, trying to soak in Will’s words. “Because what if-”
Will was interrupted by Argyle, unable to finish his thought. Mike never got the chance to hear that ‘what if’. He never got to fully understand what Will thought.
He never got to fully understand what Will felt.
Shit.
“Or me.” Lucas stood up, joining in the embrace.
“Or me.” Dustin followed suit.
He never got to fully understand what Will meant that day in California, until now. Now, it all made sense. And now, it didn’t matter what Mike was trying to understand. It didn’t matter that Mike was feeling like he couldn’t process anything. His best friend needed him, and that’s all that mattered. His best friend needed him, and he wasn’t the first to console him. He was so wrapped up in everything, he didn’t think about the only thing that was important–Will needed him.
“Or me.” Mike added, a small smile playing at his lips as he exhaled and stood up, wrapping his arms around all the boys.
There was a ringing in Mike’s ears as the hug opened and Will walked towards Max. There was a glaze over his eyes, making his vision blurry as Will talked to El. All of Mike's memories continued flashing through his mind faster and faster until his mind went blank, and only one thought came to mind as he watched everyone nod to Will.
“Will is painting a lot, but he won’t show me what he is working on. Maybe it is for a girl, I think there is someone he likes, because he has been acting weird.
18 months ago, El told Mike that Will was making a painting for a girl he liked.
Will gave Mike a painting in California.
“I’m ready to show him I’m not afraid anymore.”